Driving Force (34 page)

“And of association,” said the mage. “Which could be beneficial to both our worlds.”

“Trade and commerce?” sneered Reece. But the other clan leaders were looking visibly intrigued.

“We have a lot to offer each other,” mused Kurt.

“Politics,” groaned Reece in disgust.

“Agreements should be reached,” said the mage. “Even closure of the Gates and complete separation must be debated. Will representatives be willing to come to this side of the Gate for talks? You have our word they will not be harmed.”

Reece bared his teeth. “Why don’t you come to our side?”

“We will if you insist. But our powers are diminished if we enter your world, so we would prefer not to.”

“Might be a good thing to have those powers diminished.”

“You have nothing to fear from us. We swear it.”

“Who’s afraid?” demanded Reece and abruptly strode through the Gate. They saw him look around with interest and raise his head to sniff the air. He turned his head to grin at the other clan leaders. “Come on in, boys. The water’s fine.”

Thorvald immediately followed. Discussion broke out as to who should go and who should stay.

“If you’re gonna be doing trade talks,” Nick murmured to Kurt, “see if you can get us those clothes-providing ear studs of theirs. Handy things, those.”

Kurt gave him an amused glance. “I’ll look into it.”

Ian drew Sierra away. “This will take hours, if not days. Let’s go home, Mouse.”

Nick came over to join them. Behind him, several Guardians had come through the Gate and were now shepherding Arrhan’s outcasts through.

“Swear to God, another half hour and I’d have said the hell with the two of you and gone home by myself,” growled Nick, getting in behind the wheel of his jeep. “I need a drink.”

“Should have asked Reece,” said Ian. “Bet he brought booze along.”

“Jeez, I’m dumb! I should have thought of that myself!”

Her head on Ian’s shoulder, Sierra listened to them laugh. She was happy. She had abandoned herself entirely to Ian, all her defenses flung away without a qualm. No more hiding or fighting or trying to protect herself. She had thought him dead by Arrhan’s hand and then she had thought him dying of the fever. That was when she had finally admitted to herself that nothing mattered to her except that he should be alive and vital somewhere in the world, even if it was not with her.

Ten years of struggle, she thought. Ten long years of fighting that overwhelming hunger for fear she would end up like this, unable to keep him out of her heart. It had been easy in the beginning when their squabbling had ensured they remained at a distance, strangers despite their familiarity with each other. But in the last few weeks things had changed so quickly and dramatically, the crisis breaking down the barriers, revealing what they were at their centers.

She knew him now. Oh, not the little things. She had no idea what his favorite color was or what music he liked or, heck, his stance on politics or religion. She grinned involuntarily at the thought. None of that mattered. She knew the important things about him, the essential things. She knew his courage and intelligence and integrity and caring. She knew his loyalty to his friends, his sense of justice and the way he was willing to lay his life on the line for both. She knew the man and he was
fine,
clean through, and she loved him.

Things had become very simple for her. Anything he wanted, for as long as he wanted, and no regrets after. That total surrender that she had feared for so long and fought against so desperately. She turned her face into his neck and breathed in the scent of his skin and smiled.

“Finally,” said Taylor, stalking up with a scowl as Nick braked to a stop in front of the Raeder house. “
If
you’ve finished amusing yourself, boy, you might consider taking care of some of the business of
your
ranch.”

Then he stared when all three of them started laughing helplessly. Ian finally recovered himself and waved a rueful hand.

“Be right there, Taylor,” he said with resignation. “Stay for that drink, Nick?”

Nick grinned at him. “Think I don’t know when I’m not wanted? Got some work of my own that’s been on the back-burner too long. See you tomorrow.”

“How about that?” murmured Ian, looking down at Sierra, his eyes dancing, as Nick drove off. “The guy is capable of tact. He knows the fever also leaves one horny.”

Sierra blushed vividly. “Ian Raeder!”

He bent and kissed her hard. “We have to talk. Just let me find out why Taylor’s so pissy.”

“Is…everything okay now?” Annie asked, coming out of the kitchen as Sierra was heading up the stairs to her room.

Sierra smiled. “Couldn’t be better, Annie.”

Annie’s face eased. “All righty, then.”

No further explanation needed or sought. Annie knew more than she was telling, but was keeping her suspicions to herself. Unlike Taylor and the hands, she was aware that something out of the ordinary had been wrong these last few weeks. With Arrhan gone, things could get back to normal and Annie could go on being selectively blind, deaf and dumb.

After two days in the wild, Sierra wanted a bath. She grabbed a quick shower and had just finished blow-drying her hair when Ian came in. He was wearing only his terrycloth bathrobe and the pale strands of hair falling over his forehead were damp. He too had washed up.

“Right.” He turned to lock the door behind him. “Just to make sure there are no interruptions. I’ve told Annie we don’t want dinner, that we’d just grab something for ourselves later if we get hungry. For, um, food.”

He grinned at her. Sierra flushed and swallowed hard.

“What was Taylor’s beef?” she asked hurriedly.

“Nothing important. The real burr under his tail was that I haven’t had much time for the spread lately and he doesn’t like that.” He gave her a glittering, half-laughing look. “Why are we talking about Taylor?”

Because she was suddenly too shy to talk about the other things. She glanced down, then bit her lip and made herself look back.

“Trying to duck the issue, Sierra?” Behind the laughter in his eyes was that softness and that focused intensity.

She shook her head mutely. Her heart was pounding as if it would burst her chest and her throat was so crowded with passionate emotion that she could not speak.

He came and gathered her up against him. His hands cradled her face and he kissed her again and again. Her arms came up around his neck and she held him fiercely tight.

“Did you mean what you said?”

“What did I say?” she whispered breathlessly.

“That you love me.”

“I…” She tried to hide her face in his chest, but he wouldn’t let her.

“You said so last night. Over and over again. I heard you. Even the fever couldn’t keep me from hearing that. That was the lifeline that kept me from going under. Your voice saying that.”

“Ian…”

His voice shook. “Didn’t you mean it?”

“I meant it,” she sighed, capitulating entirely. “I do love you, Ian.”

His arms swept down to crush her to him. “God! Never thought I’d hear that! Never dared even hope for it. You were so determined to keep it just lust between us. And I wanted so much more!”

“I wanted more too, but wouldn’t admit it even to myself. I love you, Ian. I always have. I just didn’t know I did. I didn’t want to face it. What I felt, what you always made me feel, was so intense it scared me. It still does.”

His eyes were shining, vividly green, their pupils wide over that blazing darkness. He tipped her sideways, folding the two of them down smoothly onto the bed to lie locked in each other’s arms.

“It scares me too, what I feel for you. It’s so huge. I love you so much, Sierra.”

“For now,” she murmured into the curve of his neck.

“For always!”

“No. You don’t stay, Ian. Sooner or later you’ll get tired of me and it will all be over. I know that. It doesn’t matter. I realized that when I thought that you were dead, when I thought Arrhan had killed you. I realized then that it didn’t matter whether you loved me back or not. All I want is for you to be alive and well somewhere. I’d still love you even if I never saw you again.”

He kissed her painfully hard. “You crazy little idiot! Why can’t you look? Why can’t you see? Your Mom knew. Every Shifter knows. Hell, even Millie at the coffee shop knows. Most likely, half the town does. I love you, Sierra! I’m never going to stop loving you. I’ve loved you ever since I saw you on that prom night when you were eighteen.”

“What?” she said blankly.

“I’ve been obsessed with you for six years! How’s that for staying power?”

“But…all those girls…”

“Who didn’t matter. Just as I didn’t matter to them. You said it yourself. It was just sensation on both sides. That was me trying to prove to myself that anybody would do. But it didn’t work. They just weren’t you. You’re my heart, Sierra! Without you, I’m not even half-alive.”

“Ian!” Her arms tightened involuntarily about him.

“And how about you?” he said fiercely. “That asshole, Peter, and whoever was there in Arizona…”

“There wasn’t anybody in Arizona and Peter was never anything but a shield against you. I know that now.”

His hands were stroking her face, combing through her hair, sliding down over her throat, the slight roughness of his calloused fingertips upon her skin setting her nerves on fire. For the first time, she really saw what was in him, saw that look in his eyes that had always been there but which she had always blocked out, that look that was love not lust.

“Tired of you?” he said angrily. “You were the one who kept insisting on nothing but sensation. I was always so scared you’d decide it wasn’t enough and walk.”

“And I was so sure you would.”

“Never happen. You own me, Sierra. I’m yours.” He had said that once before, but she hadn’t believed him. This time she did. “I always have been.”

“Oh, Ian!”

“It’s always been so much more than mere sensation between us. You didn’t want to see that, wouldn’t let me say it, never let me speak. So I tried to show you. When we touch, when we kiss, when we make love, something happens that’s so special, so unique…”

“Yes,” she whispered, holding him fiercely close.

Her heart was so full that it hurt. Only a little while ago she would have called those words just the pretty lies a man said to get a woman into bed with him. But they had been lovers for weeks and she was already completely surrendered to him. He had no need to lie. She finally accepted what would have been obvious to her from the start if she hadn’t been so willfully blind—that he had never said anything but the truth to her, but she had been too scared to really listen.

“I can’t give it up!” he said intensely. “I won’t!”

“You won’t ever have to,” she promised, nestling into him and feeling the thud of his heart accelerating in time with her own. “I’ve stopped running, Ian. I’m yours for as long as you want me.”

“That would be forever!” He dropped his head against hers. “God, Sierra! You’ve fought me so long, held me off so determinedly. There were so many things between us. That damn rep of mine and…what I am.”

“You must know by now that you being a Shifter doesn’t bother me.” She laughed a little and rubbed her cheek against his. “Heck, it’s a turn-on.”

He gave a little harsh exhalation of breath. “My being a Shifter and you being a human matters. If it wasn’t for that, I’d have made a play for you years ago, however much you hated me then…”

“And I’d have fallen like a ton of bricks,” she admitted with rueful amusement, “however much I hated you then.”

He smiled, momentarily distracted. “Would you really?”

“Oh, yes. If you’d come on to me back then, I wouldn’t have stood a chance. I was so hung up on you.”

“I wish I’d known that! I wanted you so much. Wanted to… Sierra, if it weren’t for my being a Shifter, I’d have courted you from the day I saw you at your prom. Asked you to marry me all that time ago.”

“What?” Her jaw dropped and she pushed back to see his face. It was very tense, the bones standing out in strain, his eyes dark and burning. “But…Ian! You don’t
do
marriage!”

“Yes, I do. But only with you. I’ve wanted you to marry me ever since you were eighteen. Wanted to bind you to me, tie you to me so tightly you’d never be able to leave. The trouble is…I’m a Shifter.”

She frowned in puzzlement. “I don’t understand. Is marriage between Shifters and humans forbidden?”

“No, but… You want children, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course.”

He leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes on a shuddering, painful breath. “I’ll never be able to give you that. Shifters and humans can’t breed.”

“Ohh!” she exclaimed as light dawned. “Is that what’s worrying you? Honestly, Ian, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care about that.”

His lips compressed, their corners pointing tensely. “You’d be giving up so much.”

She touched his face tenderly. “Not really. We can adopt, can’t we? Even with the clans to take them in, there must be orphaned Shifter kids who need parents. They don’t have to be actually ours for us to love them.”