Drift Away (Noah Braddock Mysteries) (14 page)

The anger came back in a flash. “They got out of the car. Jackson was excited. Because he had ice cream. And David was apologetic, saying he thought Jackson had gone inside to tell me they were going to run for ice cream and be right back. He apologized profusely to me and the neighbors, made sure everyone knew it was just an honest mistake.”

She shifted on the bed and blinked several times, trying to clear the memory. “But I knew it wasn’t. I knew exactly what he was telling me. That he could take him anytime he wanted. Even if it was just to scare the shit out of me.”  She shrugged. “That was enough for me. I finally said yes.”

I didn’t blame her. I didn’t have a child, but I could imagine the fear of losing one. It probably paled in comparison to what it really felt like.

“So it was only supposed to be a couple of times, which I knew was a joke,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But I figured it would buy me some time to figure out how to get out from under him. And I’m no angel. He paid me and I needed the money. I still do. I just don’t like doing it and I don’t like being controlled. But short of moving, I haven’t come up with anything. So I’ve just started being a real bitch about it.”

I cracked a smile and a tiny bullet of pain shot through my cheek. “Nice.”

A slim smile settled on her lips and she nodded. “Showing up late for deliveries. Telling them I wasn’t gonna go. Anything I could think of. And they’ve gotten pretty pissed off at me. But they haven’t let me go yet.”  She sighed. “So I basically told them I’m done and they can do whatever they want, but I’m not doing it anymore. And each time I say I’m done, they show up, threaten me and I give in.”  Her eyes softened. “If you hadn’t showed up today, I would’ve made the run. Because I’m afraid of them. No matter what I say to them, I’m still afraid.”

I nodded. “Understandable.”

She shrugged and her expression indicated that she didn’t believe me. “Maybe. But after today, I’m done. All of that stuff in front of Jackson, then what they did to you.”  She shook her head. “I’m done.”

“What about what they did to you?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I dunno. I could explain that away. Jackson didn’t see that, you know? I could invent something, tell him I tripped, tell him I fell, whatever. But what happened to you? They did that right in front of him. Pulled out a gun and threatened to kill you and then bashed it into the side of your head. No one does that in front of a kid. In front of
my
kid. So I’m done. I’ll go to the police if I need to.”

The mention of the word police kick-started my heart. I wanted to help her, but I didn’t want her going to the police. And that felt horrifically selfish on my part.

Because it was.

“So I’m sorry,” she said, squinting at me. “For bringing all this on to you. I just wanted to say thank you for being nice to my son and because I liked you. I’m not sure why, but I immediately felt comfortable with you. Like you could make things okay.”  She rested a hand on my foot. “And you seemed lonely.”

I looked away from her, unsure of how to answer. I may have been lonely, but I was no longer someone who made things okay. I made things worse and I had to wonder if I wasn’t doing exactly that for Bella.

“You should rest,” she said, patting my foot. “I’m gonna sleep in Jax’s room, but I’m going to have to come wake you up every couple hours. That’s what you’re supposed to do with someone who has a concussion.”

“You a nurse or something?”

She smiled. “Tonight I am.”

“Okay.”

She slid off the bed and pulled the sheets up around me, making sure I was comfortable. She leaned down and kissed my cheek, her lips lingering against my skin.

“Thank you, Noah,” she whispered. “And I’m sorry.”

Her face stayed near mine and I was immediately uncomfortable, thinking she wanted more from me. Even if I’d been capable, it wasn’t going to happen. For reasons I couldn’t explain to her. And I felt badly about that, that I couldn’t tell her the truth, be honest with her in the way she’d just been with me.

“I’ll help you,” I said. “I’ll get you out of it.”

“That’s not what I’m asking for.”

“I know,” I said. “But I’ll get you out of it. You and Jackson.”

She kissed my cheek again. “Sleep.”

I closed my eyes, shutting out thoughts of Bella and Liz and David and everything else, sleep washing over me like the waves I used to dive into.

TWENTY-THREE

I slept soundly, no visions of Liz or anyone else jarring me awake.

Sun warmed the side of my face. And something warmed my body. Something soft and solid and decidedly feminine.

I twisted my head to the side and found Bella pressed up against me, my arm around her. She was snoring softly, her mouth half-open.

I lay still for a moment. She’d said goodnight to me, told me she was going to sleep in Jackson’s room. She’d mentioned waking me up during the night, but I didn’t recall her doing so.

Was there anything else I didn’t recall?

No, I didn’t think so and I immediately shook the idea from my thoughts. I was under the covers and she was on top of them. And no matter how she felt about me, I didn’t think she would’ve taken advantage of the fact that I wasn’t thinking too clearly.

Her legs twitched and her eyes fluttered open. She closed them again once, then reopened them.

“Hey,” I said.

She looked up at me, startled, her eyes clearing. “Oh my God.”  She sat up. “I’m so sorry. I fell asleep in here.”

“It’s okay,” I said.

“I came in here to wake you up and I could barely get myself off Jackson’s floor when the alarm on my phone went off,” she rambled, sitting up. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I repeated.

“I tried to shake you awake and you sort of stirred,” she said. “And I was talking to you and you were mumbling
…
and I think I just passed out.”  Her entire face was flushed red. “I’m sorry.”

“Bella, it’s alright,” I said. “It’s alright.”

“I just don’t want you thinking that I
…
” Her voice trailed off. “I mean, yeah, okay, maybe
…
I should just shut up.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Shut up.”

The panicked look on her face morphed to a frown when she realized I was kidding.

“How are you?” she asked. “Better if you're making fun of me, I guess.”

The ringing in my ears was gone. The side of my face was sore and tight and my jaw ached. I had a headache, but it was nothing compared to the night before. I stretched my arms and legs.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” I said.

“Your face is still pretty messed up.”

“I’ve heard that before.”

“I doubt that,” she said and her face flushed again. “I mean
…
have you been hit before?”

“Plenty of times.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

I wanted to share more with her. To tell her who I was, why I was there, who I used to be. But I knew that doing so would put her in an awkward position and would make me more vulnerable. And her.

“Long story,” I said instead.

Her face fell a bit, clearly disappointed that I hadn’t shared. I immediately felt guilty, but didn’t offer up anything else. Dragging her into my situation was far worse than my being dragged into hers.

“Can I get you anything?” she asked. “Water?  Breakfast?”

I thought for a moment. “A computer.”

“Be right back,” she said, disappearing into the hallway.

I propped myself up in bed and didn’t feel like keeling over when I did so, which I took as a good sign. The ceiling fan above me spun slowly, dropping cool air onto my face and despite the small headache, I didn’t feel horrible.

Bella reappeared, holding a small netbook. “This work?”

“Perfect,” I said.

She handed it over and I placed it in my lap.

“Am I allowed to ask what you’re doing?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said.

She waited for a moment. “But you aren’t going to tell me what you’re doing.”

“I’m typing,” I said.

“And you’re definitely feeling better,” she said.

“Not really.”

“Good enough to be a smart ass.”

“I guess.”

I brought up Google and pulled up the email server and logged into my account. The inbox was empty. My paranoia took over and I wondered if Carter was okay.

“What?” Bella asked. “What’s the matter?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. It’s fine.”

“You don’t look like it’s fine. Whatever ‘it’ is.”

I was tempted to send another email, to see if he was alright, to see if he’d gotten the initial email I’d sent him. But I talked myself out of it. I didn’t check the account every day and I was sure he didn’t either. We were taking precautions for a reason and that meant avoiding habits that might lead anyone to me. I needed to be patient and trust that the system we’d set up would work.

I logged out, erased the browser history and closed the laptop. I held it out to Bella. “Thanks.”

She took it, confused. “That’s it?”

“Yep.”

She set it on the dresser. “Okay. Whatever.”

“Look, I’m not trying to be an ass. It’s just
…
just some things I don’t think I should share,” I said. “Has nothing to do with you. I swear.”

She folded her arms. “It’s okay. I understand.”

I wasn’t sure if she did or not, but I knew she was better off not knowing about me and that was all that mattered. I didn’t like her thinking that I was lying to her or being secretive after she’d been so nice to me, but I didn’t feel like I really had a choice.