Authors: Rupert Thomson
âAll right, Billy, all right. No need to tell the world.'
Billy was fuming, the air rushing noisily out of his nostrils. He stared into his drink as if he was furious with it.
âAnd you're just checking up,' Moses lowered his voice, âto see exactly where this job is. Right?'
He studied Billy innocently, and with great interest. He had never met a real thief before. He could smell whisky, crumbling garden walls at midnight, cold feet. He wanted to know more.
But Billy clammed up. He knocked his whisky back and ordered another as if Moses wasn't there, knocked that back too, and checked his watch. Moses wondered who he had synchronised it with.
Billy left the pub at ten on the dot. He made so sure nobody saw him leave that everyone saw him leave. Only seconds later Maureen sidled up to Moses with her red furry slippers and her lopsided grin. She nudged him in the ribs with her skinny elbow.
âBilly's got a job tonight then.'
âHas he?'
âI'm telling you.'
âHow do
you
know, Maureen?'
âHe had his book with him, didn't he?' Her eyes wrinkled up with a natural cunning that she had inherited from her uncle who had a legal business in Waterford. âHis
AâZ.
It's the only book he's ever read.'
She dived into her pint of cider and surfaced gasping.
â'Course, he doesn't understand it, does he? That's why he always screws up. Never make a criminal, that Billy.'
Maureen had been right.
The next night Billy had slunk into the pub at around eight, his face pasty and dishevelled, his arms dangling, out of order. He asked for his usual, but without his usual enthusiasm.
Moses walked up to him and leaned on the bar. âSorry about last night,' he said. âI was rat-arsed.'
Billy looked at him, then looked back at his drink. âYeah,' he said.
âHow did it go?' Moses was trying to be friendly.
âI'm going to get bloody killed,' Billy said.
He'd got lost, he said, and turned up at the wrong house, and his mate'd waited two hours, and in the rain as well, and now his mate was down with pneumonia or something, and he'd rung his mate up to see how he was, and his mate'd said, as soon as he was on his feet again, he was going to tear Billy's head off.
âHow long does pneumonia last?' Billy had asked Moses.
âPneumonia?' Moses had sucked in air. âYou can die of pneumonia, Billy.'
Billy had grinned. âFingers crossed, eh Moses?'
Barbara crushed her cigarette out. She nodded in Billy's direction. âLooks like he got away with it.' He still had his head on was what she meant.
âSo far,' Moses said.
He went to buy her another drink. When he returned, Barbara's face was jutting brutally over the table.
âWhere's Eddie?' she asked him. She looked ugly for the second time. Uglier than the first time, actually. Violence in the offing.
Moses glanced round. âI don't know. Maybe he's in the toilet or something.'
âThe toilet's right behind you, I would've seen him go in,' Barbara snapped as if he was not only lying, but lying badly.
Moses crossed the pub to where he had last seen Eddie. Billy was playing now, slamming balls into pockets, dominating the table with a precision and authority he couldn't seem to bring to anything else he did.
Even as he asked the question, Moses knew what was coming.
âSeen Eddie?'
Billy jerked his head in the direction of the side-door without taking his eyes off the table. âHe left.'
Moses felt a lot like Billy's mate as he walked back to where Barbara was waiting. He was beginning to understand why there were so many headless statues in the world.
She had already guessed the truth, judging by the look on her face: it was stiff and pinched, and suspicion had killed the light in her eyes. She probably thought of him as an accomplice, some kind of decoy, what with all his ridiculous stories. He told her what Billy had said.
She scratched at a crack in the table-top with a blunt fingernail. âDid Eddie say anything about me? You know, earlier on?'
Yes, he did, Moses thought, remembering a brief exchange with Eddie at the bar. He said,
How the fuck'm I going to get rid of Barbara?
âNo,' Moses said. âNot that I can remember.'
Perhaps she believed the lie. She still hadn't looked up from the table. The silence stretching between them finally came to an end when she snapped her handbag shut. âWhere can I get a taxi?'
âI'll show you.'
They left the pub and crossed the main road. He flagged down a cab for her. As she climbed in, he said something about seeing her at the party
maybe. She didn't reply. She pulled the door shut, leaned back against the seat, closed her eyes. Her eyelids collected light from the neon fish and chip shop sign across the road, glowed a supernatural white. She looked blind.
The taxi did a U-turn and headed north.
Goodbye 1,000, he thought. Or whatever number you are.
*
First to see the fourth floor of The Bunker was Jackson.
âI'll bring something to drink,' Jackson said. âWe'll christen the place.'
He was full of gestures like that, tense and generous.
Moses opened all the windows that evening. Lingering indoor smells of bleach and disinfectant blended with exhaust â and curry-fumes and the unlikely scent of blossom from outside. It was May now. Air you could almost wear. A breeze so light that, had it suddenly been made visible, it would, he imagined, have looked like lengths of pale floating muslin. A warm red hem to the buildings. A thin veil of pink beyond, on the horizon.
Moses sat on the window-ledge and waited for Jackson. He was thinking of nothing, content simply to gaze out over the city as it accelerated towards the hours of darkness. When the bell rang, he didn't move at first. Then he seemed to unwind, to gather himself. His eyes clicked over into focus like the fruit in a fruit machine. Peering down, he saw Jackson's tangle of hair four floors below. He kicked off his left shoe, and peeled off his sock. He dropped his door-keys into the sock, rolled it into a tight ball, and threw it out of the window. It bounced off the pavement and into the gutter, missing Jackson by about six feet. Jackson, being Jackson, flinched.
âThe keys,' Moses shouted.
Jackson cowered below, his face a pale area of nervousness.
âThe sock,' Moses shouted. âThe keys are in the sock.'
He sat down again. He had just finished rolling the first christening joint when Jackson appeared at the top of the stairs. Jackson was wearing a beige raincoat with a wide sash belt and floppy lapels. It was an awful raincoat. Not for nothing had Jackson once been known as Columbo.
âYou ought to be careful with those keys,' Jackson said. âYou could kill somebody with those keys.'
âI need more practice,' Moses said. âYou'll have to come round again.'
Jackson looked at Moses's bare left foot, then at the grey sock in his own right hand. He nodded to himself. There was a methodical deductive streak in Jackson. He thought first, asked questions afterwards. Two years back â
it must have been during Jackson's Columbo era â Moses had tried to persuade his friend to become a private detective.
âWell, the rain seems to be holding off,' Jackson observed, in silhouette against the perfect sunset. He cast around for somewhere to put his tightly furled umbrella.
â
Rain?
You forecast
rain
this evening?'
Jackson nodded, winced. âA severe depression moving south-east across the country. Scattered showers followed by outbreaks of heavier rain during the night.'
Moses suppressed a grin.
Jackson handed Moses a plastic bag containing a bottle of Jack Daniel's. When Moses looked at him, not only with gratitude, but with a degree of curiosity, he explained, âI thought it was going to be cold, you see.'
Moses couldn't help smiling now. He was glad that Jackson hadn't taken his advice about becoming a private detective. He now knew that Jackson, after a great deal of intense and detailed investigation, would always come up with the wrong murderer.
He also suspected that Jackson's constant reference to the weather was some kind of front. As if Jackson had inside him a device that took what he wanted to say and scrambled it. Moses doubted he would ever crack the code.
âWell,' and Jackson clapped his hands together in an attempt to convey the enthusiasm he quite genuinely felt, âwhat about a tour?'
There was nothing much to see beyond the rooms themselves, but the rooms, bare and uncluttered, still seemed miraculous to Moses.
âYou have to remember,' he said, âthat the whole place was three inches deep in pigeon shit.'
Rapid pecking movements of Jackson's head as he darted from one room to the next. He said little, but missed nothing. He noticed the skylight in the kitchen and the view of the Houses of Parliament. And when he saw the bath, he emitted a curious whooshing noise that sounded like red-hot metal being dipped in water. Moses took this for approval.
âSo,' Moses said, when they reached the living-room again, âwhat do you think?'
âI think it was time for you to move out of Eddie's.' A wily grin from Jackson, who never answered a question directly.
They cracked open the bottle of bourbon. Moses apologised for the absence of glasses. They drank out of jamjars instead.
âWe're lucky,' he told Jackson. âBird has to drink out of a cake-tin.'
He sat down on the sofa and lit one of the joints. Jackson leaned against
the windowsill. He was still wearing his galoshes. Things like that made him endearing.
Later, drunker, Jackson kept staring at Moses as if he suddenly found him quite fascinating. Moses shifted on the sofa. He tried passing the joint to Jackson. Perhaps that was what he wanted. Jackson accepted the joint, but the staring continued.
Eventually he had to ask, âWhat is it, Jackson?'
Jackson's eyes slid sideways towards the door, then back to Moses again. âWho was that?'
Moses looked confused. âWhat?'
âWho was that woman?'
âWoman? What woman?'
âThe woman you were talking to.'
âWhat are you talking about, Jackson? I wasn't talking to a woman.'
âYes, you were. I saw you.'
Moses placed his right cheek in the palm of his hand and went back over the past few minutes with some thoroughness. âI don't remember a woman,' he said finally.
âDidn't you see her?'
Moses shook his head. âNo, I don't think so.'
âHow can you talk to somebody you can't see?' Jackson asked him.
âI don't know. I didn't even know I was talking to anybody.'
âShe was sitting right next to you.'
âWas she?'
âYes. There.' And Jackson pointed at the sofa.
âWhere?'
âThere. On the sofa. Next to you.'
Moses turned and studied the place where the woman he was supposed to have been talking to was supposed to have been sitting.
âWhat did she look like?' he asked.
âShe was wearing a raincoat. A black raincoat. With a belt.'
Moses narrowed his eyes at Jackson. Whisky. A few joints. A devious intelligence. He wasn't convinced.
âIt's true.' Jackson held his hands out in front of him as if he had an orange in each one. âIt's absolutely true.'
Moses examined his friend closely. âAll right then,' he said, âwhat were we talking about?'
âI don't know. I couldn't hear. I was going to ask you when she left.'
âWe must,' Moses said, âhave been talking very softly.'
âYou were. You were sort of â
whispering
to each other.' Jackson gave the word a salacious twist.
âAnd she's left now, you say?' Moses asked, glancing again at the empty space beside him.
Jackson nodded. âA couple of minutes ago.'
âHmm.'
Moses sat quietly on the sofa absorbing this strange information.
Then he thought of something.
He reached down with his right hand and touched the cushion next to him. And the funny thing was, it felt warm.
*
The following morning Moses went to see Elliot. Elliot was on the phone, so Moses waited in the doorway. He noticed how brooding, how oppressive, the office looked in the daytime. All those sombre reds and greys. They soaked up light, gave nothing back. At night Elliot's desk withdrew into the shadows, but now it showed â a drab industrial plastic construction, its sterility broken only by a pair of soiled telephones and an overflowing Senior Service ashtray. Only the pool-table exploited the natural light, turning a green that was almost fluorescent as the sun played on its surface. The office had been designed with the small hours in mind: drawn curtains, low lighting, smoke.
Five minutes had gone by. Moses crossed the room and sat down on the radiator. He could see Elliot in profile now. It was a very one-sided phone-call. Elliot was staring out of the window almost as if he was just staring out of the window. The telephone seemed incidental. He had hardly said a word.
Finally he said OK twice and slammed down the receiver. His sigh carried his chest forward a few inches and back again. A well-built man, Elliot, under all those playboy suits and ties.
âChrist,' Elliot muttered. He pushed the phone to the far edge of the desk. As far away as possible.
âHello,' Moses said.
âAs if I haven't got enough trouble already. Now you. What's up, Moses?'
Moses hesitated. âI've got a ghost.'
âA ghost?'
âYeah, a ghost. It's upstairs. In my living-room. Do you know anything about it?'
Elliot looked at Moses to see if he was being serious. Sometimes it was difficult to tell. âNo,' he said, âI don't know anything about a ghost. You going to tell me about it?' He lit a cigarette, then tossed the packet across
the room to Moses. He leaned back in his chair, his hands behind his head. Christ, the entertainment business.