Dreams Ltd (43 page)

Now it was my turn to remain silent. I didn’t know what to say and was there any need for words?

In my current situation, it was impossible to identify what the exact time it was, but I assumed it was around midnight. I rubbed my eyes and suddenly felt exhausted. After I’d managed to relax it became especially apparent.

“Try not to open or rub your eyes.” suggested Hulk and I took my hands away from my face.

“Will you please take me to my room?” I asked, feeling a bit awkward. The last thing I wanted is to be a burden on somebody, but I simply wouldn’t be able to find my way back on my own.

“You’ll spend the night here.”

I froze. My heart knocked somewhere in my throat. Does he mean I’ll spend the night in his office? No-no... My face flushed from embarrassment.

“Here? I... I don’t want to be a burden, I can go...”

“I said you’ll stay here.”

I took a deep breath and slowly let the air out.

“Will I sleep on the couch?” Knowing that there was only one bedroom in his apartment, I sincerely hoped for a positive response.

“No.”

“Will you sleep on the couch?”

“No.”

I went quiet. I just couldn’t force myself to ask anything else. How helpless it is to be blind! Although with Hulk one could have a perfect vision and yet completely lose out in a dispute with him. That’s because he doesn’t argue, he just informs you of his decisions.

“I don’t... please...”

I wasn’t quite certain what I was going to say, any objection at this point would sound very pathetic just like a squeak from a kitten.

He took my hand.

“I won’t touch you, I promise, but in the next few hours you will have a pain attack and no pills will help against it, but I can. Okay?”

The warmth of his hand, the scent of his cologne, his voice that sounded so close did the job - I melted like a candle, not willing to admit that to myself or anyone else. I knew that the Hulk's promises can be trusted - if he said he won’t touch me then he won’t. But am I fit enough to deal with my own emotions? What I felt at that very moment, I wouldn’t like to share with him even if he’d use the damn “Blind” again.

I carefully released my hand and nodded nervously.

“Ok.”

And that was the first time when I felt somewhat pleased about my disability - my face was on fire.

Hulk was leisurely smoking a cigar, sitting in a chair, feeling joyous and relaxed.

Yes, nobody could have ever imagined how things would turn out, and that one day he will have to use one of his skills from the past - the past that will never be erased from his mind. But suddenly this old knowledge became very useful indeed, even though it was used in a different time and place.

But nobody could reproach him here and that was the only reason why Hulk liked living in Tally - in this grubby and unattractive, but to some degree, convenient shithole. Yes, life here was not the same - there were no friends he loved to spend time with, there was no danger tickling the nerves and adding a kick, but also there were no orders. Here he was his own boss.

He thought on many occasions about the choice he would make if the opportunity to leave this place came up. Would he run out of here? Or would he stay?

No, he’d leave this place - he knew it. It might not be a full return to his former life, but some of those old habits Hulk would happily go back to. And he would definitely visit the guys; they’d worked side by side for far too long so it could all be so easily forgotten.

But that was how it was.

Someone people arrived in Tally as prisoners and he - the privileged fighter of the Special Commission’s Unit, who once disobeyed the order – disembarked here as an “owner”. Not the worst possible outcome. The Commission would not "clean" him - it was too costly to get rid of such talented professionals, but in order to keep the others on a short leash, they still had to resort to tough measures.

Hulk had often thought about it. But that was before.

Now he had this ranch, another life and other problems to tackle. To some extent this mansion has become his home. But what he’d never thought is that one day there will be someone who will bring his heart back to life and make it somewhat soft, excited, even young... Those feelings left him a long time ago.

The smoke was slowly swaying in the air, and from time to time, like an amenable woman, it would go away with a breeze to continue its journey somewhere in the night.

Hulk never complained about his fate – a professional will always be a professional. That will not go away even if he stays here for another hundred years. Even the fact that he was banned from the rest of the civilisation was unpleasant, but tolerable. Yes, he had to turn the blind eye to the local clubs and restaurants, impenetrable stupidity and unwarranted cruelty of their inhabitants, but these were trifles. Hulk himself knew how to be cruel when necessary, and many of the others could learn from him; in addition to that, he was used to enduring a much worse situation than this life here.

Plus, he found his safety valve, which only a few people knew about - the business that would help him to remain the person he wanted to be, and that was important. It was bringing some relief.

Hulk halted and listened to the sounds in the bedroom, but there weren’t any coming from there. Shereen was already asleep, or at least he was hoping she was. It would be very cruel to make her go through more stress, if he’d insisted them to go to bed together. She needed some privacy to undress and get ready for bed, as much as it was possible to do so with no vision. There was no need for any pressure.

Hulk got into thinking - he knew this night will be tough for her; the pain in her head will come back, it always does after using the “Blind” - those who’ve gone through this treatment would subsequently always experience bouts of uncontrolled fear or panic, feeling lost; they could fall into a permanent state of stress or depression and in rare cases could cause the waves of aggression to come over them, followed by physical weakness.

Yes, he must be near her - his past experience has taught him how to identify any potential symptoms and how to deal with them in the best way possible. It would be good if she could sleep for at least couple of hours.

On one hand, Hulk regretted that he had to apply the memory scan on Shereen but on the other, he was glad that he had made that choice. Given the chance Greg would have never missed the opportunity to crush the girl; from day one he disliked her, but Hulk didn’t give a damn about it.

Greg was a great convenience and he had all the right qualities - he was cruel, aggressive and not too smart, although a bit too ambitious. However, ambitions without any intelligence never helped to achieve the desired effect.

But Greg served well - he terrified the prisoners, kept them under a total control, preventing any escape attempts that would inevitably end badly. The laws in Tally were unanimously strict, and even Hulk couldn’t save the ones who’d try to break them, so no wonder the ranch was surrounded by an electric fence. Most of the wires, like traps, were cleverly disguised and any accidental or intentional touch would cause some unfortunate consequences, and that’s why all the prisoners have been made aware of it on their day of arrival.

Thus, Greg served its purposes, but Hulk knew - knew with no undue regret or remorse that his time had run out. Greg was out of his depth and there have been too many times his fist grazed Shereen’s face, and every time it happened, Hulk’s spinal nerve twisted into a tight spring.

His thoughts switched to the girl lying in his bedroom.

Who knew how things will turn out...

Would he ever have thought that he’d meet her here? How long has he been looking for that person, whom his inner instinct would unmistakably identify as The One? How could it happen that a girl mistakenly brought to Tally would become “The One”? And Hulk no longer doubted that Shereen was “The One”.

He accepted that fact as soon as he wised up to it and it was not really important when exactly this revelation came over him. Maybe it happened when she came into his office, shivering with fear, but keeping her chin up, ready to admit the "atrocities" she’d committed, or when she was arguing with him without any right to do so, but still not giving in or when she was stealing the food for the workers and buying medication for them with her own hard-earned points. Or did it happen when he saw her drinking bourbon by the fountain? Or perhaps when she decided that four hundred and fifty thousand dollars was not that much for the one you love?

Hulk didn’t really care when it happened. The only important thing was that his heart has been brought back to life. This life presented him with something he never expected to receive and it was the generous gift he could not accept. How ironic...

He’d love to be one of those lucky people who after meeting their soul mate can enjoy every moment of being together but Hulk knew that he had to let her go. He just couldn’t have Shereen beside him and therefore she’ll have to leave. Even if she reciprocates, they could only spend a very limited amount of time together until Hulk thinks of a way to send her back to the outer world. She must not stay in Tally for too long - it was not the right place for her, and he would feel much more at ease knowing that she returned to her normal life in Klendon City - to her shop, friends, donuts on the corner and all the rest. There she will meet a decent guy (not a lowlife like Alex), who will love and take care of her, while Hulk has no choice but continue to live here on the ranch. That’s just how it goes. That’s life.

Thinking about Shereen - his beautiful, elegant and soigné Shereen loving someone else, something crumbled inside of Hulk. He must get over it. The fate has played a trick on him, sending the one he’d wanted to find, right here, in the closed “Area 33”. It was just as bad as it was good. And now he must be strong, pull through and sacrifice his own desires once again, for the sake of someone else having a better life.

Well, it’s not the first time and it’s not the last.

The cigar has already smouldered almost down to his fingers, burning them, but Hulk was still sitting in a chair, tortured by the one and only thought that was bothering him for many days now.

Should he expose his feelings to her and let her know how he really feels? Has he got the right to do that knowing that the separation is inevitable? If this will leave a scar in her heart, there will be no one to blame except himself and therefore was it truly worth it?

Hulk felt tormented by inability to find the right answer, especially because the answer must come from the both of them, since it wasn’t just up to him now, but up to them.

Hulk left his cigar in a glass ashtray, made sure that it was no longer burning, and got up from the chair. It was time to go to sleep.

I woke up suddenly, feeling anxious and opened my eyes. Darkness. Why was it so dark around? I tried to remember where I was, but I couldn’t. My memory was like a big black hole, which contained nothing. Who am I? Why can’t I remember my own name? The fear was ripping me apart and wanted to howl. I knew I had a physical body, but it felt like someone disconnected it from my brain, and now it was dark and empty - there were only thoughts of panic fleeting through my head with no direction, nothing was clear. How did I get to the place where I was right now?

Once again, I blinked, yes - my eyelids were moving, but the darkness did not disappear. Have I ever felt this scared? I couldn’t remember. And should I? What kind of a creature was I? Was I still a human or was this all this just some dreadful nightmare?

Feeling the desperation, I started sobbing and touching frantically the alien and unfamiliar space around me.

“Where am I? Where am I? Where am I?” The tears began rolling down my cheeks. What if nobody will ever answer?

“It’s ok, it’s ok Shereen. Calm down...”

Someone’s voice managed to make its way through the wall of my panic.

“I can’t see anything. Where am I?”

“Shereen, calm down...”

“Why is it so dark?!” My voice turned into a scream.

After someone put their arms around shoulders and pulled me closer, I felt a bit calmer. I realised that I knew this voice... it was a kind voice and it was much easier when it was around - the darkness was becoming less hostile, although I couldn’t remember the face or the name...