Dreams and Shadows (The Aylosian Chronicles Book 1) (35 page)

“None are as powerful as he, of course,” he added, “For most, to be able to more fully touch another’s soul they must have physical contact. With a look perhaps one so trained may plant a desire in another, but for that desire to truly blossom into the evil that is sought, they must touch. The greater, the more… intimate… the touch, the more powerful the connection; the stronger control she, or he, will have.
 
Ultimately, a soul may be completely destroyed – ravaged – by such a person; hence the title they carry of Ravagers. I have witnessed good and decent men willingly perform horrors after an encounter.”

As Joh looked again to the floor, Michael couldn’t help but think of Pava. He had liked her from the moment they met. And he had instantly considered her attractive. But he hadn’t felt the strong physical attraction until after she had placed her hand on his cheek only two evenings past. Then, last night, she had tried to seduce him. He remembered the feelings. The pull had been tremendous: irresistible. If it hadn’t been for the warning from his dream that had somehow broken the spell, he would have been powerless.
The more intimate the touch, the greater the connection
, Joh had said. What had she planned for his soul, he wondered, a chill running down his spine.

He also remembered the warning from his dream,
You must try to release yourself
. Even as he had heeded it, he hadn’t known just what terror he was evading. Closing his eyes briefly, he thanked whatever providence had allowed the prophetic voice to enter his dream.

He also realised just how much planning had gone into the attempt to take his soul. It had been moons ago that he had met Pava. Was she really looking for symbols in old books when they had met? Did she have a genuine interest in the architecture of the buildings around the Palace, or had she learned it in preparation for her attempt to get close to him? And why had she waited so long before she touched him the way she did? Did Jashmarael want to exhaust his own attempts to invade his soul before instructing Pava to act? Or had Michael’s apparent resistance to Jashmarael’s efforts prompted a change to the way the Ravager usually worked: a feeling of friendship somehow enhancing Pava’s grasp on him?

“But why?” he finally asked. “Why go to so much trouble with me? I mean, I’m a nobody. What’s it all for?”

Again Joh smiled, a small laugh this time coming from his mouth. “Indeed,” he said, “You only were sent to another world as a baby, have mysteriously returned as a man, and have shown remarkable resistance to the great Jashmarael, before whom none before have been able to stand.”

Following another small chuckle, he continued, “No, Michael, for these reasons alone Jashmarael would greatly desire to own your soul. To yourself, perhaps, your life seems quite ordinary; your worth no more than any other. But to Jashmarael, you will be a wonder.

“The question is not, why does Jashmarael go to so much trouble with such a wonder. That much is obvious. Rather, the question is, what ends does he intend your wonder to serve?”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
 

Farewell

An evil man will impose cruelty on others, thinking that such oppression will erode the will. And often that will be the case. However, betimes a soul arises against whom such punishments serve only as a forge to fashion a character that has the strength to rise above life’s malice. Thus, from such cruelty rise heroes.

From the Wisdom of Ashael

***

Something in their discussion had caused Joh to cease his own story. Michael had asked more about the Ravagers, still struggling to understand how Pava could have deceived him in the way she had.

But Joh had said he needed to get some food for an evening meal and had excused himself, promising to answer Michael’s question when he returned. The old man had left looking pensive, and Michael couldn’t help but think that the real reason he had departed was to get some fresh air to help ponder the mystery that Michael evidently was.

As Eramica hadn’t yet returned, that left Michael on his own in the old man’s home, and after changing into the clothes that Joh had provided, he returned to the window to explore the Ashput, as Joh and Eramica had called it, from the safety of the hut.

When he had cast his gaze through the window earlier, he had been focussed on the street in front of Joh’s dwelling, and the people who moved back and forth. This time he looked beyond the street and nearby buildings, to the far wall that encircled the community. As he did, he now noticed that the wall was topped with crenellations, and his gut felt sick at the thought of city archers standing atop them, threatening the impoverished people below. Realisation struck that this could be as much a prison as a home for the people who lived here. He briefly wondered how his mother had managed to sneak them in, but decided to leave that question for now. There were no guards he could see atop the walls, and perhaps it was only manned if there was a perceived threat from the residents.

Continuing to scan what he could of the walls, his eyes rested on something that drew him. He initially couldn’t understand why it struck him as odd. It was the top of a domed building just peaking above the wall to the north. Though he couldn’t see more than the roof, he suddenly remembered the domed building he had noticed in the crystal medallion as he had been sitting in his flat in England so many moons before. The building in the crystal had seemed to sparkle, and he had been intrigued by it. But until this moment he had forgotten about it. Although he could only see the top of the building, he was sure that it was the same structure.
 

Samo had shown him much of Aperocalsa, and Michael wondered why he had neglected to even mention such a large building. He suddenly realised, too, that the basic structure of the buildings he had seen in Aperocalsa wouldn’t have been out of place in England. Many were beautiful, of course, with intricate carvings: many of the fine details here would have been considered exotic and new by those in England. But their essential shapes were the same: square or rectangular, pointed and sloped roofs, square windows. He hadn’t seen a single round or domed building here… until now. There was something that pulled at him to try to seek the structure, but he pushed it away, knowing that it would be foolish to run after it in their present state of hiding. He reminded himself that his mother could be in danger, and leaving the city was what they needed to do for her wellbeing, not go looking at a piece of architecture.

Lost in his thoughts as he was, he had to jolt himself into awareness on a couple of occasions to remember to throw another small log onto the fire as Joh had instructed, and each time was pleased when the wood finally caught alight, alleviating worry that he had let the fire grow too dim.

Having so many thoughts and questions, the time passed quickly and it was late afternoon by the time Joh returned with a basket full of food. He quickly chopped some vegetables and threw a small piece of meat into a pot. He then carefully placed it in the fire with a lid covering it, before settling back into his seat, his blue eyes again returning to Michael.

It was Michael who spoke first, though, a nagging feeling finally having formed into a question. “You’ve explained how Jashmarael makes people serve him. And also said that you were close to him.” He looked carefully at the old man as he framed his question, “So why did you leave him? Why did you end up here? What happened? In fact,
how
did you get away?”

Joh smiled at the questions, but Michael could see that it was a sad smile, the old man’s eyes moistening slightly. Part of Michael felt sorry if his rapid inquisition had caused the man pain, but if Jashmarael was as dangerous as it now seemed he was, he needed to know why – and how – even one of the Guardian’s closest advisers could free himself.

The old man took a deep breath, then paused and took another before beginning, “Why is it that all men ultimately are made fools?” Then answering his own question, he continued, “It was for a woman, of course.

“I will not bore you with the details,” he quickly went on, “Suffice it to say, that though I had risen far in my career and was considered by all, close to the Guardian, everything changed when I met her. Jashmarael was pleased. He sought all those close to him to know precious relationships. In the back of my mind, I suppose I had always puzzled as to why one who could be happy for the death of a child, and ignorant of the pain of it for the boy’s family, should desire his closest servants to Join with another. On the surface, it appears inconsistent. But I discovered the reason soon enough.

“Avhe was my superior in all matters. Her intellect was above all. She was witty, talented in more ways than I can count. And, oh was she a beauty for the eye! Never a dawn passed, but first sight of her caused my heart to race. I was the luckiest man in all of Aylosia. Even today as we sit here in such humble circumstances, I can see in my mind the curls of her rich auburn hair. I can smell the sweet scent of her soft skin, and my worries almost vanish. The troubles of my life become nothing with only her memory.”

Joh had closed his eyes as he had described Avhe to him, but opened them again, the sadness returning to them, “Almost.

“It was after we were Joined, promised to each other for the remainder of our lives, that he sent a Ravager,” he continued, a bitterness now entering his tone.

“I had loved my Avhe with all my heart and more. I would have attempted any deed, suffered any punishment. I would have sought out the Seer himself, or hurled myself to my doom, if she had but asked it of me.”

Closing his eyes and bowing his head, Michael saw a tear fall from the man’s cheek. After waiting in silence for a moment, he asked, “What happened?”
 

“It is what the Guardian desires,” Joh spoke as if he hadn’t heard his young guest. “Though he had my soul, he did not have my heart, for that belonged to Avhe. Even so it, too, served his purpose.

“I have already explained that none may resist a Ravager. It starts with a harmless smile. Such a glance perhaps creates the tiniest hint of desire, but even the weakest of men may resist that if they wish. But then follows the gentlest innocent touch; another strand added to her slowly growing cords.”

There was silence again as Joh fought himself with the memories. Finally, he again spoke, “And so it goes, until the binding cannot be broken, betrayal becomes inevitable… and complete.”

He sighed again, taking a deep breath before resuming, “Once that
thing
,” he spat the word, “had left me, only then I realised what I had done. Oh my Avhe, what had I done to you! How could I?

“I did not tell her, of course. I had committed a great evil against my beloved. By telling her of my deed, it would have pained her, doubling the harm I had done. So I kept the tale of my weakness to myself. But that too is what the Guardian desired. Indeed, it is why he had sent the Ravager to me.”

The old man had composed himself and was again looking at Michael, “For though the Guardian’s advisers have had their souls poisoned, even so there is usually some small part of our conscience that remains; a deed that may seem great or small that still we would seek to avoid; the tiniest corner of our souls that is not completely lost.

“For me, when he commanded that I… well, when he commanded I undertake such a task that was too evil even for me, I sought to refuse. That is when he spoke of my dalliance with the Ravager.
How would your Avhe feel about such a thing?
he enquired, as if the question were innocent. And thus I was torn between performing a great evil, or the breaking my beloved’s heart. I could not break her heart, and so…”

There was another pause, another tear. “And the next time when there was an even greater evil asked of me, it was not solely a revelation to Avhe of my indiscretion, but even more,
How would she feel to know the evils you have willingly done?

“And so it continues, until there were no longer any boundaries to my deeds. There was no limit to the evil I would do. For others of his servants, he may find other ways to… convince… them to do those things that even the most vile creature would shudder to perform. But for many he encourages, then abuses, their love. That is the easiest I think; for we all wish to love, and be loved. Then we fear to lose what has grown precious to us.”

Michael had sat transfixed at the tale, horrified again of how Jashmarael would manipulate any and all to serve his ends. The ache in his gut had returned as he wondered again how he would have been used had he succumbed to Pava.

“But you still managed to get free,” he said to the old man.

“Yes,” Joh replied, “Here I am.
Free
.”

Michael heard a sarcastic edge to the last word, and wondered what it meant.

Now Joh stood and faced the window, continuing his story without having to look at Michael – without having to confront a reproachful stare.

“Even with such motivation to obey him, there once came a time when even I could not follow his command. Even now I do not understand why I felt as I did. He had come to my own rooms when Avhe was not there. Such a thing was unheard of, and so I knew that what we would discuss would be of great import. My evil this time was to be upon,” Joh hesitated, “…a baby. There was some unknown future threat this child would bring to Aylosia, and so it must die.

“Before you think me too noble,” he quickly added, “the deed was not so unknown to me. I am not proud to confess that by my hand children had died before in the Guardian’s service. But…” the old man paused, and Michael imagined his eyes were closed as he tried to recall – or to forget, “…to this moment I do not understand why this was different. But I could not do it. I struggled with myself; argued against his threats; his promises. Eventually I simply said no.
You may reveal all that I have done to Avhe, but I cannot do this
, I proclaimed.
Find another.

“Then I ran. The sun was soon to set, and I knew where my Avhe would be. I found her, returning from a market, and led her to a quiet park where I had decided I would tell her all. I could not bear for one of the Guardian’s servants to tell her of my deeds. No, I would finally accept responsibility for my evils and would tell her myself. She would leave me, I knew, and both of our hearts would break. But that was now inevitable anyway. It was right that she should hear the truth from me.