Dreamlands (11 page)

Samojirou and I went to an
ikebana
exhibit the following week.

While I liked flowers, I didn’t understand the complications of arranging them or the subtle messages they sent to people, even with the weeks of instruction. I also knew it usually took years to master the art of
ikebana
. Thankfully, Samojirou was willing to explain things to me, telling me in a low voice what I needed to know, so he wouldn’t disturb the others. We were examining a display when a girl and her dog, a large grey animal as tall as her waist with a sharp-angled face and pointed ears, its tail curled tightly on its back, came up to us. I noticed that the crowd seemed very interested in her talking to us, even as they drew back. I thought that if there were a fight, they didn’t want to get involved, but they wanted to watch. It had been like that at the theatre too; I guess beings who lived here weren’t too different from humans in that way.

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“Fuse-hime,” Samojirou said, bowing low to her. “It is always a delight to see you here.” His tone of voice grew less cordial as he looked at her dog, which was sneering at him. “And you, Yatsufusa-sama.”

I blinked and examined her appearance. She was the mother of those two samurai from the theatre? She didn’t look old enough to have children! She looked younger than they did; she looked younger than me. And even stranger,
hime
was an honorific meaning princess. Fuse was wearing a rose-colored kimono with sleeves the length of an unmarried girl’s, just a little shorter than my sleeves. The dog with her snarled silently at Samojirou, even after he had politely greeted him.

Because of that, I assumed that the dog was Yatsufusa. I bowed to the both of them.

“And your companion?” she asked.

“Sakura-chan was a gift from my lady,” he said.

“And where did your lady find such a delightful young lady?” Fuse asked

“My lady travels widely,” Samojirou said. “As you know. She meets a lot of different people.”

“So practiced a reply, you must have been asked this often.” Fuse said dryly. She smiled. “But… ah. I had thought that your lady had mistaken your tastes. She has not.”

So she knew I wasn’t a real girl. What did that matter? I was as comfortable in this outfit as I was with a katana in my hand. Maybe there was something wrong with me because of that, but I didn’t care.

Yatsufusa-sama still looked angry, and I wondered if he was going to attack Samojirou. I moved between the two of them. I couldn’t tell who looked more shocked, the dog or Samojirou.

“Ask my lady if you want to know where she found Sakura-chan,” Samojirou told her coolly.

Fuse looked annoyed for a moment. “As if we speak,” she said softly with a smile. “Where are you from, Sakura-dono?” 71

DREAMLANDS

I glanced at Samojirou in fear. He had told me I couldn’t speak to anyone. I didn’t blame him; I knew I would tell them something stupid or wrong if I were allowed to talk. I didn’t miss the change of address. -

Dono
was a term for lady. Fuse was addressing me as if I were another noble.

“Don’t be an idiot, Samojirou-sama,” Fuse scolded him. “I will find out.”

“But in such a public place?” he asked her drily.

She smiled. “Ah… you just like teasing me.”

“Let us wander, Fuse-hime,” Samojirou said. “I fear that my blossom does not know too much about blossoms. She will benefit from our discussions. Did you see the display over in the corner? The use of bamboo is interesting.”

Fuse laughed, and her dog stopped growling at Samojirou. I felt the tension dispersing into the air. Fuse wasn’t going to give up, but she wasn’t going to question me yet. I felt out of my depth; these two were playing some sort of game. For all her apparent youth and innocent looks, this girl was as dangerous as McGann. I was going to have to remember that.

I WAS getting undressed when Samojirou entered the room. He was dressed in a
yukata
, fresh out of the bath. Yukiko smiled, and she squeaked and scurried out of the room with my outfit, giggling.

I tried not to be nervous because I was dressed only in a
fundoshi
, since I was going to bathe soon. Samojirou looked like he wanted to kiss me but was staying out of reach.

I wanted to tell him he could come closer, but instead I asked,

“Who is Fuse-hime? Why is she dangerous?” Samojirou looked at me strangely. “And why do you say that?” FELICITAS IVEY

72

“She feels like it,” I murmured. So I felt like an idiot. They had spent the afternoon discussing flowers and arrangements and gossiping about others here, nothing serious. While I didn’t say anything, I was included in their group, just like her dog had been. I had learned that Yatsufusa really didn’t like Samojirou. But Samojirou wasn’t always nice to him, either. “She’s nice. And you like her, like you like Tamazusa-sama, but she’s dangerous-feeling, and I don’t know why.

It’s confusing.”

Samojirou came over and gave me a hug, nuzzling the top of my head. He didn’t seem to want to do more than hold me, so I tried not to tense up. The talk I had with Tamazusa earlier this week made me understand why he did this a lot, even if I wasn’t always comfortable with it. I was getting better about it, though.

“I fear that I have not been totally honest with you,” he said.

I tensed up. He wanted to try
that
again.

Samojirou sighed, knowing why I was acting the way I was.

“While I still find you desirable, I will respect your wishes. I fear that I had underestimated the damage those barbarians had done to you.”

“I… I don’t want to be a cocktease,” I said, talking to his chest, wanting to try and explain why I was being such an idiot. “They… the TCs kept calling me pretty boy and grabbing and pinching me.

Before… before Heiseg hurt me, I knew that it was going to happen.

There wasn’t anything I could do to stop it. Or I could have let one of them ‘protect’ me from the others. If I… I let that person do
that
with me. But… but I wasn’t sure that it was worth it, because I didn’t know if he’d be lying to me. I was just glad when the monsters came. They’d kill me, and I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. I didn’t think….”

“Keno,” Samojirou whispered.

“What did I do wrong?” I asked him pitifully. “I wish that they had killed me in my dorm room.”

“I am glad that they did not,” Samojirou said, his voice very soft.

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DREAMLANDS

I opened my mouth to say something, and he kissed the top of my head again. Samojirou was gentle and understanding about my fears. I had to stop being so skittish around him.

“While we are not intimate, I enjoy your company. Eventually, I promise you, you will enjoy such things with me.”

“If you say so,” I muttered.

The kissing was getting easier now that I was confident that he wasn’t going to do more. I had even started kissing back a little and touching him on my own. Tamazusa telling me why he acted like this around me made me a little bolder. It was weird that someone would want me just for me or the power inside me.

He laughed and stepped back. “I assure you that you will eventually understand such things are pleasant. There are things that I could do, but I do not think that such steps will be needed.”

“What steps?” I asked.

“Curiosity is a good sign,” he assured me with a smile. “I think that there are sections of my lady’s library that you eventually will need to be better acquainted with.”

I blushed. I knew what he was talking about. I had limited access to the library. The librarian, Hikura, didn’t let me wander. He didn’t let anyone wander.

If I had been assigned something to read by either Okita or Yoshinoko, he got it for me. But I also knew from what her samurai had said that for a lady who didn’t seem to be interested in such things, Tamazusa had a lot of erotica. Or it could be Samojirou’s. They called them
Shunga
―Spring books. I knew enough about art and things like that to figure out that the books were like the erotic picture books popular during the Tokugawa era. Tamazusa might have collected them like I used to collect manga, even if she didn’t like sex.

“But back to our topic of conversation,” Samojirou said smoothly.

“Fuse-hime is an intelligent young woman, and they are always dangerous. But what I have not told you before this is the reason that FELICITAS IVEY

74

my lady took you from where you were. She took you because of the simple reason that you have power in you.”

“Tamazusa-sama mentioned that to me when we dined,” I said. “I understand that it wasn’t because she was trying to be nice.” Samojirou looked embarrassed. “When my lady brought you back, we did not know if your wits would survive what had happened to you.”

“You took care of me and were nice to me,” I said. “Don’t think that doesn’t matter to me. So what if it wasn’t because you just wanted to do something nice for me. You… you―”

“Insist that you dress as a woman in public and say nothing to strangers,” Samojirou snapped.

“You know the word
no
,” I said, shaking. We had never argued before now. He told me what he wanted, and I did it.
That
was the only thing I had refused. “That night I cried, and you didn’t get mad. You don’t like it, and I hate the thought of
that
, but you aren’t hurting me over it. Do you know―”

Samojirou hugged me. “Shh…”

“So you want to use me because of the power that I have. I know that happens. I’ve been used by everyone since I was taken from my dorm room. You… I don’t feel like a prisoner here.”

“You are not,” Samojirou assured me. “It is―”

“Where am I going to go?” I asked wryly. “I know that I don’t have any place to go. I know that you could have hurt me, like Heiseg did. You and Tamazusa-sama are good to me.”

“I am glad that you think so,” Samojirou said smoothly. “So you are not angry that I was not honest with you? That my lady and I might want to use you for your power? Your magic?”

“What would you be doing?” I asked him. “How? Do I need to…?”

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DREAMLANDS

Samojirou laughed. “Such curiosity! But one of the reasons that I cannot leave you alone is that I am attracted to the magic in you. I want
you
too; I enjoy your spirit as well as the power that dwells within you.”

“You’d get it if we did
that
?” I asked, confused and worried. He must be really mad if I wouldn’t do that with him and it was a way to tap into this power he claimed I had. I didn’t feel powerful. I felt small and stupid because I couldn’t forget what had happened to me.

Samojirou laughed and hugged me again, and I oddly felt better.

“No, I will not, but there are some interesting Tantric rituals we can try in the future. In little while, we can think about training you to use the power that you have.”

“Um,” I muttered. It sounded really simple. So why did I feel like there still was something he wasn’t telling me, another secret he was hiding from me? And why didn’t I care?

FELICITAS IVEY

76

MASON

I HELPED Wolf clean out Keno’s room. It was sad that he had more books than anything, but I thought the kid read a lot to keep occupied.

Wolf kept everything, including the trashed models, and put it all into storage at his place.

McGann asked me a lot of questions about how I felt about cleaning out Keno’s room and the other shit that went down. She seemed happy with the bullshit I fed her, even knowing it was bullshit.

I thought she just wanted the T’s crossed, the I’s dotted, and me and Wolf flying under the Trustees’ radar. For once we both wanted the same thing. But most of the time, we shot the shit about “normal” things like sports and movies we liked. I thought she liked just having an hour to relax in between all the other shit going on. If my sessions with her gave her some rest, I wasn’t going to bitch about them. Going to the company shrink was actually a good thing around here, believe it or not.

The only thing I really got pissed about was the fucker they got to try and open the gate again. He was a rude asshole, and I didn’t like him. His name was Ralph Fairinox. He was short and twisted-looking, and I didn’t trust him in front of me, never mind at my back. He reminded me of the weasels I had dealt with in lockup, sleazy and 77

DREAMLANDS

backstabbing, running to the guards to rat you out to them for privileges. He was about my age, sallow with greasy, grayish-blond hair. D and E levels had been declared off limits, but he spent a lot of time poking around down there. Anyone who had been there after that night didn’t want to go down there anymore. The new crew of techs who came in was just as put off by the place as the rest of us were since they had heard the stories about that night.

Romejinoff had to work with him, even if she wasn’t going to do the dirty deed with him. In fact, I thought McGann had wiped that nasty little factoid from her mind after she asked her about it. I didn’t like it but thought it was good idea, because I didn’t like knowing about shit like that. I was surprised McGann didn’t do the same to me.