Dreaming of You (5 page)

Having removed his shoes and socks earlier, Gavin pushed his trousers and undergarments from his hips, stepped free and then pushed them aside with his foot.  He had always been comfortable in his nakedness, for he was well fit, his body toned and muscular, his male appendage amply sized.  He had bedded countless women over the years, and they had all been exceedingly complimentary and openly appreciative of his masculine form.  But now, for perhaps the first time since he’d lost his virginity as a young lad, he felt oddly ill at ease in his natural state and suddenly appreciated the darkness of the room.  
 

“I’m ready,” Melody said, for there was no reason to delay the inevitable.  The sooner it began, the sooner it would be finished.  Then perhaps, she could let go of at least a small portion of the oppressive fear that held her in its harsh, unyielding grasp.  The first time would surely be the most difficult, so better to get it over with quickly.
 

“I’ll pull back the covers.”  Gavin reached to grasp the patterned quilt and light cotton sheet and drew them back. There was no blanket, for the nights hadn’t grown overly cold as yet.  He straightened.  
Damn this is bloody awkward
, he thought to himself.  For perhaps the first time in his life, he wasn’t looking forward to sex, but rather dreading it instead.  “Shall we get into bed?”     
 

Melody nodded, but of course he couldn’t see that she realized.  “Yes,” she said, turning toward his voice.  Her naked arm brushed against his as she turned.  She flinched.  “S-sorry,” she stammered, embarrassed by the involuntary reaction.  She felt him take a step backward.
 

“Why don’t you go first.”  
 

She detected no sense of impatience in his voice, his tone merely polite and well-mannered.  Feeling for the edge of the mattress, she sat down, pushing herself backward as she drew her legs up onto the bed.  She moved toward the center, scooting herself upward, and then laid down, feeling the gentle cushion of a pillow at the back of her head.  The mattress dipped as he sat and followed her onto the bed, stretching out beside her.  
 

As they lay there, side by side in the dark room, Gavin could literally feel the uneasy tension in the air.  He sighed in frustration; the situation wasn’t exactly conducive to sexual arousal.  Would he even be able to perform, he wondered?  It was something he hadn’t considered, never having experienced the slightest difficulty in the past, quite the opposite in fact.  His sexual prowess was well known amongst some of the more daring female members of his set, and combined with his striking good looks, women had always been eager to share his bed.  But now, here in this room, lying next to a faceless stranger, he felt nothing, not even an ounce of sexual arousal.  
 

Thanks to her mother, Melody had a basic understanding of intercourse.  She went over it in her mind.  When aroused, the male member would become rigid.  Her husband would then move on top of her and push his member into the opening between her thighs.  There would be pain the first time, but it would pass, her mother had told her.  He would move within her, and then spill his seed.  It was from that seed
that a child could be conceived, she had explained.  It was natural and nothing to be ashamed of.  However, this wasn’t her husband, or even someone she loved.  This was a stranger, a stranger from whom she was being forced to
steal
a child.  
This
wasn’t natural, it was abhorrent, but she had no choice.  To protect her family from Charles’ threats, she would do anything, even this.   “I am ready.”  She could only hope that it would be over quickly.
 

The softly uttered words, voiced in resignation rather than excitement or anticipation, did little to help with his lack of arousal.  
Christ
, he had never bedded a woman who hadn’t been an eager and willing participant.  The situation was as awkward and uncomfortable for him as it was for her.  She had to understand that, didn’t she?   He stared upward, into the darkness.  “I’m not certain…” he faltered, clearing his throat.  “That is, I don’t know if I can…”  Mortified, he let the sentence trail off, assuming she would understand.  
 

“If you can…?”  Melody wasn’t sure what he meant.  Did he mean that he couldn’t go through with it?  Or was it something else?
 

Gavin heard the uncertainty in her voice and it gave him pause.  Was she that naive?  Did she truly not understand his problem?  An unwelcome thought entered his mind.  No, that was impossible, ridiculous.  Who would be cruel enough to send a virgin, an innocent, into a situation like this?   He shook his head, disgusted and appalled.  A madman, that’s who, someone capable of kidnapping, someone capable of murder.  
Bloody hell!  
He had to ask.  “Forgive me for asking, but have you ever…been with a man before?”
 

Melody thoughts whirled.  Was he asking her if she was a virgin?  Yes, of course he was, how could he possibly know whether or not she was experienced?  She hadn’t thought of that, that he might assume she wasn’t a virgin.  But then again, what difference would it make to him?  “No,” she answered honestly.
 

Gavin groaned internally.  If possible, their situation had just gotten infinitely more difficult than it already was.  
 

“Does it…matter?”
 

“No, I suppose not.”  He sighed, the sound long and drawn out.  “It is just that…well…there are certain things that you probably are not…familiar with.”
 

“I understand how copulation works,” she murmured, her cheeks flaming in embarrassment.  Thankfully her utter mortification was hidden by the darkness.  
 

Thank heaven for that at least.  “I see.  But do you understand that a man needs to be aroused, before he can… perform?”  Gavin had never felt so uncomfortable in all his life.  
 

“Oh.”  She wasn’t exactly sure what he meant.  She felt like a simpleton.  What was required for a man to become
aroused
?  She didn’t recall that her mother had spoken of that.  But of course how could she have known that her daughter would lose her virginity, not to her husband who would surely guide her in the process, but to a complete stranger instead.   “I’m sorry, I d-didn’t realize.”  She hated that she was stuttering, but she couldn’t seem to help it.  She’d known that it would be difficult, coupling with a stranger, but if possible it was going to be even harder than she had imagined.  Oh how she hated Charles at
that moment, hated him with every fiber of her being.  
Hate
, it was an emotion she had never felt before, something she had never truly understood.  But now, now she understood the feeling only too well.  God forgive her, but she hated Charles for doing this to her, and to the man lying beside her in the darkness.
 

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Gavin told her, shaking his head in silent frustration.  Once he was free, he would hunt the madman who had done this to the ends of the earth if it was the last thing he ever did.  And when he found him, he would make him pay.  “It’s just that… well,” he cleared his throat, dreadfully embarrassed by what he was saying.  “I may need your assistance.”
 

“M-my assistance?”  She was stuttering again.
 

She sounded so hesitant and unsure, her soft voice revealing not only her uncertainty, but also her fear.  He didn’t want her to be afraid.  It made him feel like a monster.  “Christ, I don’t think I can do this,” he muttered miserably.
 

She heard the anguish in his voice, and surprisingly it comforted her.  Whoever he was, this stranger lying beside her, he was a good person.  He didn’t want to be in this awful situation any more than she did.  But they
were
in it, and like it or not, they were in it together.  “We must,” Melody said, her voice stronger now.  “Please, just tell me what to do.”
 

Gavin sighed.  She was right.  They had no choice.  “Will you give me your hand?”
 

In answer, Melody rolled slightly onto her side toward him and lifted her right hand.  “Here.”  She reached out, and a moment later felt his warm fingers close around her own.  
 

“I need you to touch me,” he said gently, and slowly lowered her hand to his groin.  
 

Melody fought the instinctive urge to pull back when she felt her fingers brush against the skin of his manhood, and instead allowed him to guide her.
 

“Like this.”  Gavin moved her hand within his, demonstrating the gentle, stroking motion.
 

Melody was somewhat familiar with the male anatomy, having helped care for her brother when he was younger, but this was an entirely different experience altogether.  Despite her apprehension, she felt a slight hint of curiosity.  His flesh was surprisingly soft and smooth, not hard and rigid as she’d imagined.  Perhaps that was what he had meant.  He had to be
aroused
in order for that to happen.
 

“Close your fingers around me,” Gavin instructed, and then began to move her hand slowly back and forth when she complied.   After she’d grasped the gentle rhythm, he released her hand.  “Yes, like that.”
 

They were quiet for a minute, as Melody continued to repeat the motion he’d taught her.  As she did, his manhood seemed to grow larger.  In wonder, she felt it lengthen and thicken beneath her fingers.  What had once been soft and flaccid was gradually becoming stiff and firm.  She measured its size with her fingers as she continued her steady strokes, realizing how large it had suddenly become.  Good heavens, how on earth was her body to withstand such an invasion?  She felt the fear creeping up on her again and struggled to keep it at bay.  Men and women are designed this way for a purpose she told herself, trying desperately to believe it.
 

Gavin’s emotions vacillated between pleasure and self-loathing as the young woman’s soft caresses stimulated his arousal.  He felt his erection grow hard under her delicate fingers.  That he could be aroused in a situation such as this, and so quickly even, was both surprising and utterly detestable.  What kind of man was he?  Determinedly, he forced the thought from his mind, for now was not the time for self-reflection.  His sister’s life was at stake, and right now that was what mattered most.  “You can stop now.  I am ready.”
 

Her hand stilled at once at the gentle command.  Slowly, Melody rolled onto her back, her body tensing in apprehension.  
 

“Would you like me to… help prepare you?” Gavin had bedded more women than he could count over the years, yet once again he felt like a discomfited adolescent.
 

If possible, her body tensed even more at the suggestion.  
Prepare her
, what on earth did that mean?  Would he touch her, like she had touched him?  Down there?  The thought caused her heart to skip a beat.  Oh lord, she didn’t think she could handle having him touch her like that.  The thought was absolutely mortifying.  “No, I…I am prepared,” she said quickly, a little too quickly perhaps.
 

Gavin noted the sudden panic in her voice and sought to calm her.  “It might make it easier for you, that is all.  With this being your first time, I just…I do not want to hurt you anymore than is necessary.”  Then again, she was so obviously nervous and afraid that it probably wouldn’t help anyhow.  He doubted she could relax enough to respond to any sort of foreplay, and certainly not enough to enjoy it.  Perhaps it was best to get on with it.  Keep it short and simple so to speak.  Not his usual style by any means, but their current circumstance was anything but usual.  
 

“I will be fine,” she assured him.  “I understand that there will be pain the first time, but I can endure it.”  She hoped it was true.  
 

Endure,
that certainly wasn’t a term he was accustomed to hearing from his bed partners.  It was a bit like being doused with cold water.  He sighed.  He supposed he had best get on with it before he lost his erection all together.  “Alright then.”  Turning onto his side, he reached out his hand and felt a thin layer of fabric against her thigh and realized that she hadn’t removed her chemise.  It hardly mattered.  He pushed it upward, feeling the soft, smooth texture of her skin beneath his hand, the flesh of her thigh taut and firm.  
 

Melody tried not to flinch at his touch, keeping her body still with the sheer strength of her willpower.  He moved above her, easing her legs apart with the gentle pressure of his knee.  She felt his manhood, hot and hard against her as he settled between her thighs.  She recalled the size of it in her hand and silently prayed that it wouldn’t rend her in two.  She felt the tip of it nudge against the opening between her legs and bit down anxiously on her lower lip.  
 

“Try to relax,” Gavin coaxed softly, as he pressed against her soft cleft.  
 

She tried not to tense as he exerted the slightest bit of pressure, pushing ever so slowly into her tight virginal passage with obvious difficulty.  Perhaps she should have allowed him to prepare her like he’d suggested, but it was too late now.  Despite her fear, and the increasing discomfort, she opened her legs wider, trying to make it easier for him and to get it over with as quickly as possible.
 

Gritting his teeth, Gavin did his best to go as slowly as possible, pressing into her bit by bit, allowing her body to adjust to his entry and to accommodate his size.  It wasn’t easy.  Finally he could progress no further.  “Ready?”
 

 “Yes, I’m ready.”  She drew in a deep breath and clenched her teeth.
 

With one forceful thrust, Gavin breeched the barrier of her virginity.