Dream a Little Dream (8 page)

‘I’ve no intention of counting hairs! Now get that meal down you, and if you leave as much as one chip, I’ll have yer guts for garters.’

‘Message received and understood.’ Robert speared a chip and bit half of it off. ‘They used to be a luxury when I was a
kid
. My mother would send me for a pennyworth of chips with plenty of salt and vinegar on. On a hard-up day, when she was skint, she’d make that penn’orth of chips into sandwiches for me and me dad, and herself. And I can still remember how I relished the taste of those chips. They were hard times for us, and all our neighbours, but they were good times as well.’

‘Stop talking and eat your dinner, Robert, before it goes cold.’

‘This gammon is very tasty, my dear.’

‘That’s one of the advantages of working in a grocer’s shop. I can pick out the rashers I fancy, knowing they have been freshly cut.’

They carried on eating in silence until their plates were clean. Then Robert licked his lips and patted his tummy. ‘Very enjoyable, as always.’

‘I’ve kept the kettle on the boil on the hob, so there’ll be a nice cuppa ready for you in just two minutes.’

Robert watched as she picked up a knitted square to cover her hand before lifting the heavy kettle. ‘I wish you would allow me to pay to have that grate removed, Maureen, and a smaller one put in its place. Not only would it save you blackleading that huge thing all the time, it would also give you more space in the room. I could have the work done by a skilled fitter who would be quick and efficient. The room would be a mess for about three days, but think of the advantages. And it would make me very happy if you would accept my offer.’

Maureen put the kettle back on the hob and returned to her chair. ‘I am very fond of you, Robert, and I treasure the few hours we have together each month. My life would be empty if I didn’t have them to look forward to. You know I am happy to be your confidante when you feel the need to talk, and that my shoulder is here for you to cry on. And when you need comforting, my arms will always hold you. I have no one else in my life, and I value what we have together. But I will never take, or allow you to spend money on me. I would feel like a
kept
woman, a mistress, and I couldn’t live with that. My parents bought this house at a time when it was unthinkable for working-class people to own their own home. They scrimped and scraped, went without to raise the money so that when they died, I would have some security. So I don’t have to worry about paying rent, and my wages buy me what little I need. I don’t possess many worldly goods, but I have no need of them. What I do have need of, is my independence and my pride. I would lose both if I accepted money from you. I know you mean well, and I do appreciate your thoughtfulness, but it would spoil what we have, and I don’t want that.’

Robert reached across and covered her hand. ‘If I have hurt or insulted you, it was unintentional, I assure you. You are one of the most open, honest and kind people it has been my fortune to know and I have the greatest admiration for you. A short while ago you said I was like a little boy, and there’s nothing a little boy likes better than to give and receive presents. But I will never again make a suggestion that displeases you if you will, just once, humour me.’

Maureen’s blue eyes twinkled as she raised her brows. ‘Humour you? I thought that was something I often did! What about the plate of chips you’ve just eaten? They weren’t on the menu today, I only made them to humour you.’

‘What I have in mind is far more serious than a plate of chips, my dear. It’s something that has been nagging in my head for quite some time. I have great affection for you, and I believe you return my feelings?’ Robert waited for her nod, then continued, ‘Yet if anything happened to stop me coming here, neither of us have a single thing to remember each other by. No photograph or memento to remind us of the happiness we’ve shared for the last three years. That saddens me, because you have given me so much joy. You filled a void in my life and helped me keep my sanity.’

‘And don’t you think you did the same for me? We have helped each other, Robert, and please God, we will continue to do so for a long time. So no more talk of anything happening
to
prevent you coming – you are making me sad.’

‘Are you not prepared to humour me, then?’

‘I’m not saying yes until I know what it is. Otherwise I might find a man at my door tomorrow morning with a toolbox, come to take my grate out.’

Robert grinned. ‘I think you’ve taught me the error of my ways on that one, my dear. No, what I had in mind, and what I would dearly love, is for us to buy each other a gift. Something we can use every day so our thoughts are always with each other.’

Maureen looked doubtful. Everything he had was expensive – his clothes, fobwatch, cuff links, tie-pin and the huge black saloon car standing outside her house which the neighbours must wonder about but never mentioned. She couldn’t buy him anything that would compare with what he already had. ‘Don’t think I’m feeling sorry for myself, Robert, but any gift I gave you would have to come from Woolworth’s.’

‘I’ve told you many tales about our housekeeper, Agnes, so as you seem to think I’m a snob, I’ll answer you as she would. “I don’t care if it’s a bleedin’ penny whistle, sunshine, it’s still a gift. And if it’s not good enough for yer – well, that’s too bleedin’ bad. Yer can sod off and yer’ll get bugger all in future”.’

Maureen’s head fell back and she roared with laughter. ‘How I would love to meet Agnes, she sounds a treasure.’

‘She is that! Dead funny and as straight as they come. Her and Abbie are the two people who make life worth living. Anyway, back to the subject in hand. I know what I would like from you, my dear. It wouldn’t be too expensive and it’s something I would use every day.’

‘And that is?’

‘A cigar clipper.’

‘But you’ve already got one. You don’t need two, surely?’

‘I want one that has been given to me by your fair hand. It will go with me everywhere and you will be constantly in my thoughts.’

‘If that is what you want, but I warn you it will not be as good as the one you have. And for that reason I don’t want you buying me anything expensive, otherwise you will embarrass me.’

‘That is one thing I will not go along with, Maureen. And before you argue, please listen to my side. Every time I come here you have a meal ready for me. I have offered to bring groceries with me to help out, but you stubbornly refuse. So while it is all right for you to give to me, I am not allowed to give to you. Is that fair?’

‘Good heavens, Robert, I’d be a poor one if I couldn’t give you a meal. I’d be cooking for myself anyway, so a little extra makes hardly any difference.’

‘I wonder why I don’t believe you? Can you honestly say you would buy gammon for yourself, rather than streaky bacon?’

Maureen tried to keep her face straight but it didn’t come off. ‘Oh, all right, you win. But don’t you dare buy me anything too expensive.’

‘We’ll see, my dear, we’ll see. Now how about you making our cup of tea, then we can sit holding hands while we have a cosy chat. You can tell me everything you’ve been up to since I last saw you.’

‘That should take all of two minutes, Robert, because as you well know, I lead a very uneventful life. Of course I could invent something to keep you amused, but I’d need time to do that and there isn’t enough now. However, if I put my mind to it in the next four weeks, I’m sure my imagination can come up with a few incidents to keep you happy.’ She smiled and pinched his cheek then went to pick up the kettle. ‘I’ll leave the washing-up until you’ve gone; it’ll give me something to do.’

When Maureen came through carrying two steaming cups of tea, Robert was sitting on the couch looking very much at home. He patted the space beside him and said, ‘Leave the cups on the table and come and sit next to me. We only have
a
little time left, let’s not waste it.’ When she was seated, he put an arm across her shoulders and pulled her close. ‘Now I am happy. You chase away my cares, my darling Maureen, and if I had one wish, it would be for you to play a bigger part in my life.’

Her head resting on his shoulder, Maureen looked up at him. ‘It isn’t possible, so let’s be grateful for what we have.’

‘If it were possible, would you come to me?’

‘Yes, I would. But wishes and dreams are not going to make it happen, Robert. You have a wife, even if it is in name only. And I am not a marriage-breaker, although there are many who would see me as a scarlet woman. But I honestly believe we are doing no wrong. Everyone needs some love and affection in their lives and that is what we are giving each other. No one is being hurt by it.’

‘I know what you’re saying is true, but it doesn’t stop me wishing. I would give you the earth if I could, buy you anything your heart desires.’

‘Robert, I am a forty-five-year-old virgin, and I work in a grocer’s shop. That was my life when you came into it, and it is still my life. We agreed then that our relationship would be purely as friends, and no one would be hurt by it.’

‘It was easy to say that then, dear, because I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with you – that you were going to become so important to me. I’m sorry, but it would have been easier to stop rain from falling than stop myself being drawn ever closer to you.’

‘And don’t you think the same thing has happened to me? I love you, Robert, and have done for some time. If you only knew how much I look forward to your visits, and how I count the days and hours. But we can’t change things, so why don’t we just settle for what we have? I couldn’t bear you not to be part of my life, I would be lost without you.’

‘You’ll never be lost, my darling, because I’ll always be here. Whatever your terms, I will abide by them, and love you all the more for your honesty.’ He kissed her hair. ‘That’s the
first
time you have ever said you love me, and you’ve made me very happy.’

Maureen reached for his hand. ‘We’ve become very serious, so why don’t you make me laugh by telling me more of what Agnes gets up to? And I want to know how Abbie is and how today’s auction went. There’s so much I want to hear, so come on, Robert, let me share the happenings in your life.’

‘I left the auction before it was over, as you know, but I would hazard a guess that we’ve had a particularly good day. Abbie is to go to commercial college to learn shorthand and typing, book-keeping and general office work. She met stiff opposition from her mother, but I put my foot down. You’d like Abbie, she’s a lovely, bubbly girl, full of fun.’ Robert ruffled Maureen’s hair. ‘And now to our indomitable housekeeper. My eldest daughter can be a pain in the neck, a real snob. Well, she looked down her nose once too often for Agnes, and was told, “Take yer own bleedin’ plates out, ’cos I’m packing me bags. And yer can see to yer own bleedin’ dinner, ’cos I ain’t.” And she would have gone, too, if I hadn’t smoothed things over with a glass of whisky. I wouldn’t have blamed her either, she deserves more respect than that. As she said to me, “I’d have cried me bleedin’ eyes out if I’d had to leave you and Miss Abbie. But I would have done, Mr Robert, ’cos I’ve got me pride. I’ll have no toffee-nosed little madam looking down their nose at me!” ’

‘Good for Agnes! I’ve never met the woman but I know I’d like her.’

They chatted about different things, keeping the conversation light, until it was time for Robert to leave. Then they stood in the hall, their arms around each other, and kissed. Neither of them said a word, but both were aware that the kiss was warmer and more loving than usual. Robert sighed. ‘Four weeks today, my dear. Take good care of yourself.’

‘And you, Robert, you take care.’ Maureen watched him walk down the path then closed the door and leaned her back against it as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

‘I couldn’t believe my ears when Mother told me. Can you imagine me going into a poor house, or workhouse, whatever they call them? I’d come home crawling with lice and heaven knows what else.’ Victoria was wearing a petulant expression as the wind played with the strands of hair that had worked loose from the pretty floral voile scarf she had covering her head. ‘I’m of the opinion that Father has gone completely mad, because if he was in his right mind he’d know I would never entertain such an idea.’

Charles Chisholm didn’t answer as he changed down a gear to navigate the bend in the country lane. There was no traffic on the road, but he wasn’t taking any chances with his beloved MG drophead coupé. His father had bought it for his twenty-third birthday last week and he was the envy of all his friends. He’d spent a couple of hours polishing it that afternoon and there wasn’t a fingermark on the bright blue bodywork, the chrome fittings sparkled and you couldn’t see the windscreen it was so clear. He’d even had the black soft top up, so a maid, standing on a chair, could dust it. He was so proud of it, and had expected Victoria to be very impressed. Instead, she was sulking and hadn’t even passed comment.

‘Charles, are you listening to me?’

He glanced sideways. She looked stunning as always. Elegant, poised, make-up perfect and dressed from head to toe in expensive clothes. She was just the right person to go with his car. But he wished she would take that frown off her face.
‘What
did you say, darling? I’m new to this car and I’m afraid I need to concentrate.’

‘I was talking about Father, and his stupid idea that I should do charity work! I mean, do you really think that’s me?’

‘No, I must admit I can’t see you in that role, my sweet. But my mother, and a couple of her friends, they do a little charity work and they find it very rewarding. But not everyone is cut out for it.’

Victoria showed an interest. ‘I didn’t know that, Charles, you’ve never mentioned it. What exactly is it that your mother and her friends do?’

‘I’m not quite sure, my love, you would have to ask her. As far as I know they visit poor people in hospital, and they take them flowers, or fruit. There’s probably more to it than that, but I honestly don’t know. Mother seems to enjoy the work, but whether it would suit you is a different matter.’