Drawn to you (24 page)

“Hello, beautiful.”

“Hey.”

“You sound quiet. You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m waiting to go into see Dr. Evans.”

“Okay. How was your day?”

“Good. It went quite fast. I’m having dinner with Gaby tonight. I’m going to pick up something on the way home. Do you want to join us?”

“I’m going to be here late, but so save me some.”

“Where do you want me to leave it? My place or yours?”

“Hmm, I think yours.”

“Okay, well I’ll see you tonight then. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

I end the call and watch a frail young girl leave Dr. Evans’ room. She puts her head down as she makes her way through the reception area. Fifteen minutes later, Dr. Evans opens her door and signals me in. I take a seat on the couch and watch as Dr. Evans pours water into a glass and slides it across the table so it rests in front of me. She smiles and takes a seat in an armchair opposite me

“So, Antonia, how have you been since our last visit?”

I fill her in on all the changes that have occurred this week, watching as she types into a tablet with concentration.

“That’s a lot to take in. How do you feel about the arrest?”

“Relief mainly, followed with confusion.” I smile fiddling with my hands in my lap.

“That’s understandable. Hopefully once you’re home and have spoken with the arresting officers you will have more understanding, but I should warn you, sometimes there is no reason why someone will act out such violence, and you may never get the answers or closure you seek.”

That’s comforting.

“But you can find a way to find peace with that.”

“Really?”

“Yes, with time. Have you had any dreams or attacks since our last visit?”

“No.” I don’t make eye contact but can feel her gaze penetrating me.

“And how was it seeing James again?” She slides her glasses farther up her nose and rests her arm on the armrest, never taking her gaze from me.

“It was difficult. He made it clear he still has feelings for me.”

“How do you feel about him?”

“I will always have feelings for him but I love Finlay and James is part of my past now. I’m more angry that it took me moving on for him to realize he still wanted there to be an us.”

I look up into her eyes for the first time since I got there.

“How do you feel about going back to England next week?”

“I’m not looking forward to it. I told James we could talk properly then. I need to make it clear to him that there’s no going back for me. I can’t.”

“Does James remind you of that day?”

I feel tears burn the corners of my eyes and I nod as I speak. “I don’t blame him. He kept asking for forgiveness but he didn’t need it I never blamed him for not getting there sooner. His guilt never made sense, it’s just . . .”

“Just?”

“I feel like he didn’t forgive me” I glance up and gasp.

“It’s okay, Antonia, to feel guilty for being a victim. Especially when the person we love couldn’t deal with it.”

I feel my body shake as realization hits me. I do feel guilty. For James finding me that way and for him losing his love for me. Him losing us.

“You need to forgive yourself. You are not to blame for what happened to you, or how other people you love handled it. The aftermath was not your doing.”

She passes me a box of tissues and I spend the rest of our time releasing tears I didn’t know I needed to shed.

When the lift doors open I realize I made it from Dr. Evans’ office and home without noticing the journey. I feel exhausted from breaking down, and head to my apartment to shower and change before seeing Gaby. I grab the pile of takeout menus from a draw in my kitchen and head next door.

“Gabs!” I call, making my way down the hallway to the kitchen.

The front door opens and voices pour down the hallway. I poke my head around the kitchen door and see Gaby, Gavin, Gabe and Libby,

“Hey, you okay?” Gaby asks, entering the kitchen.

“Yeah, you?”

“I’m good. I invited everyone round for Mexican.” She smiles, holding up a grocery bag. Gavin takes it from her then starts emptying the contents on to the counter.

“I texted you to let you know.”

“Oh, I haven’t checked my phone.”

“You sure you’re okay? You look weird,” Gavin says, flicking his finger at me and then up and down towards my body. I just slung on a tee and slouch pants and left my hair wet after washing it, not realizing I’d be eating with people other than just Gaby.

“I’m fine. I’m tired so I just wanted to be comfortable.” I look down at my appearance and screw my nose up. “I should change.”

“Don’t be stupid. You look fine. It’s only us,” Gabe says, pulling me into a hug and planting a chaste kiss to my wet hair. I embrace him back and smile.

“Yeah, seriously, I like the wet look,” Gavin adds, nodding his head and wiggling his finger up and down my body again. “Ouch,” he moans when Gaby elbows him.

“Finlay will kick your ass,” she warns him, with a finger in his face.

“Hey, Libs.” I wave as she giggles and starts to help Gaby prepare food.

“Xbox Gav,” Gabe says.

“Oh, can we play the playing station number four?” Libby asks.

“The what?” Gavin furrows his brow.

“She means the PS4,” Gabe says.

“The playing station number four? That’s adorable, and no, Libs, if you don’t even know it’s proper name you don’t get a vote,” Gav informs her, causing a light blush to tint her cheeks.

“Don’t upset my girl.”

“I’m not, but come on, Gabe. Playing station.”

Gabe lets out a chuckle and Libby puts her hands on her hips and glares at him. “I’m sorry, but that is funny. Not as funny as when I asked her if she likes Eminem and she said,’ yeah, I love chocolate’.”

Gavin howls with laughter.

“Gabe, you said you wouldn’t tell them!” Her blush gets brighter and we all break into laughter.

“So guess what?” Gaby beams while chopping peppers.

“What?” I ask.

“Fin called me today. He said that you mentioned the retreat and he has wrote me a check.”

“Really? That’s exciting. I hope you don’t mind. I just brought it up in conversation.” I smile

“No, I don’t mind! Helllloo, I’m going to be famous!”

Libby and I both giggle at her declaration.

“You have to ace the audition first,” Libby tells her. I give Libby a quick look and a shake of my head before Gaby stops chopping and glares at her.

“Thanks for the faith, Libby.”

Libby looks at me with raised eyebrows, not knowing what she’s said that’s wrong.

“Sorry, Gaby. I mean, oh my God, you’re so going to be famous!” She adds a bounce of excitement for effect, making Gaby laugh.

“I know, right,” she replies, bouncing herself.

The front door opens and closes, and Brad appears a few seconds later still dressed in his work suit. They may as well all move in they’re here that often. He dumps his briefcase on the dining table and blows out a tired breath. “Hey.”

“You staying for food, Brad? I thought you had a date?” Gaby asks.

“Here’s a tip for tonight, Brad. It’s a medical fact that if women have more than two glasses of wine, she could have a stroke. But if she finishes the bottle, she might suck as well.” Gavin laughs at his own joke, making everyone else let out a disapproving grumble.

“Yeah, we had to reschedule,” Brad answers.

“She blow you out, Brad?” Gavin bellows over the couch.

“No, dick. I have to go to New York. I just came for food and some paperwork from Hayes.”

The front door opens again and Finlay turns into the kitchen.

“Hey,” I say, feeling a tingle all over my body just from the sight of him wearing his work suit.

“Hey, gorgeous. Come here.” He grabs me, inhaling the scent of my hair as he embraces me, lifting me from the floor. “You look like you’re ready for bed.”

“I am. I didn’t know Gabs had invited everyone, I thought it was just her and me.”

He kisses my bottom lip, then my cheek, nose and forehead. Gaby starts waving her hand with her phone in to get our attention. “Mike just texted saying Julie is outside. He’s getting rid of her.”

My whole body tightens and I look into Finlay’s eyes. “Is she stalking you now, or what?” I ask, fed up with this woman popping up and causing friction.

He shakes his head confused.

“I don’t know why she’s here, baby,” Finlay reassures me.

Gaby starts throwing stuff in a pan. The smells fill the room, making my stomach rumble. I love the sound of the sizzling as she tosses the food around the wok. Libby’s loading the table with wraps, tacos and salsa. Gavin wanders in from the living room and makes a beeline for Gaby.

“That smells unreal.” He leans over her, grabbing at a piece of chicken from the wok. She smacks him and backs her bum into him.

“Get off, greedy. You can wait five minutes.”

“Woo, watch the merchandise there, Gaby. Your butt could break him.” He rubs himself in jest, making her roll her eyes and Finlay flinch and frown. I reach my hands to his face and bring my lips to his to distract him. Getting so lost in him, we don’t notice Mike walk in.

“Get a room.” Gavin nudges Finlay.

“So, Gab, not loving your bumper sticker,” Mike says, walking over and kissing her on the cheek

“What? I don’t have a bumper sticker.”

“Well, your car has one and it’s crude.”

“Wait, what does it say?” Finlay asks.

Mike clears his throat. “If you’re gonna ride my ass at least spank me first.”

Gavin bursts into laughter and I can’t help the snigger that escapes my lips. Gaby’s jaw drops and Finlay looks pissed and points at Gavin.

“Hey, it wasn’t me!”

“Then why the fuck are you laughing so hard?”

“Because whoever it was is a genius. That’s funny!” He looks at Gaby. “That is funny, Gabs.”

“Did you put it there, Gav? Be honest I won’t get mad,” she asks him.

“I fucking will,” Finlay interjects.

“I swear it wasn’t me, and if I’d known it was going to upset you I would have hid my laugh like Antonia did.”

He points at me making me gasp and shake my head.
Traitor.

“I didn’t!” I protest, making Finlay raise an eyebrow.

I chew on the side of my mouth to try to stifle another laugh, and he continues to stare at me with his eyebrow cocked until I break and let out a laugh, making Gavin and Brad laugh too.

“I’m sorry. I’m ashamed I find it so funny. I’m lame, I know. I didn’t put it there though, just so you know.”

Finlay shakes his head, making me feel like a child.

“I’ll remove it now,” Mike offers and Gaby rubs down his arm with a loving touch and whispers her thanks into his ear. Gavin takes a beer through to the living space and I can see slight strain in his face from watching Gaby with Mike.

“Dinner’s ready.” We all take a seat at the table and wait for Mike to return. When he finally does, he hands me a note. Puzzled, I open it, and Finlay reads over my shoulder.

I’m sorry I was a bitch, I know there’s no excuse, but I was having a hard time. I don’t want there to be any hard feelings,

Julie xxx

“
Was she still out there?” Finlay looks at Mike.

“Yeah, man. She looked desperate so I agreed to bring that up to Antonia.”

Gavin reaches for a wrap and Gaby smacks his hand. “Ladies first, caveman, or we’ll never eat.”

He juts out his bottom lip and Gaby licks her lips then blushes and looks around the table to see if anyone noticed. Her eyes rest on me and I give her a knowing look. She smiles and offers me the plate to take a wrap.

“So why are you going to New York again, Brad?” Gavin asks.

“Because we have a big deal going through and this lovesick pup doesn’t want to leave his woman.”

Finlay shifts in his chair and throws Brad an icy glare.

“Hey, I can’t blame him for that,” Gav says with a cocky grin, earning him a dead arm from Finlay.

“You can go if you need to,” I say, stroking down his arm.

“No, I thought I would give Brad an opportunity to show me his management skills. I’m thinking he might not want the opportunity now though, but I’m more than happy to it give to someone else.” He glares back at Brad.

“Hey, I was messing, chill. You know I love my job.”

“On Wednesday, clear your schedules. I’m hosting an open mic night at the club. It’s our first ever one and my dad thinks it’s a bad vibe to send out but I think it will be good for business so I need the moral support,” Gavin says.

“I think it’s a great idea.” Gaby beams. “Antonia, can play something.”

I choke on my taco and shake my head. “No.”

“You sing? That would be great if you could kick things off for me,” Gavin says with one of his winning smiles.

“Fine, but I’m rusty.”

“She isn’t. She was playing the other night. She’s incredible,” Finlay boasts.

“Fantastic. That’s settled then.”

“Do you need any staff, Gavin?” Libby asks.

“You need work?”

Libby nods. I had no idea she was looking for a job, but she’s living from student loans so a job could help her out.

“I have some experience but I don’t mind interviewing though. I don’t expect you just to give me a job.” She smiles nervously.