Draw Me In (38 page)

“
You look amazing,
”
he breathed into my ear. The
hormones that had messed with my new-mommy emotions were now seriously playing
games with my newlywed ones. Warmth spread throughout me, filling me with heat.
“
This dress.
”
His eyes ticked down every inch of
my body, then back up again agonizingly slow.
“
I kind of want to cancel this whole
night and just take you home right now.
”

“
Not a bad plan,
”
I offered, my mouth pouting more
than necessary around the words.
“
But
since you
’
re
the keynote speaker, that might not be the best move.
”

“
True,
”
he conceded with a sigh, but his
hands obviously weren
’
t
in agreement. They raked up and down my bare spine a few more times before I
pulled away from him to ease the temptation. Tonight was a big night for him. I
didn
’
t
want to interfere at all, even if that meant keeping my mind out of the gutter
for the next few hours. I could manage that. But truth be told, my mind would
probably just end up in the bedroom instead.

“
I
’
ll be sure to save a few moves of my
own for later tonight.
”
Leo didn
’
t
respond verbally, but the crease of his brow and the piercing stare of his eyes
said all I wanted to hear.

He
exhaled deeply and said,
“
We
should find our seats.
”

The
roar of conversation had now waned into a soft rippling murmur of voices, and
all it took was a few clinks against a crystal glass to get the volume down to
pin-drop status.

Silver
Fox took to the mic again and began the festivities.

“
As you all know,
”
he started, hands hooked casually
around the lipped edge of the podium. He pressed his weight down onto the
surface as he spoke.
“
We
’
re here tonight to honor a very
special man.
”

There
was a low utterance of agreement as guests nodded and smiled, saying things
like
“
Yes
he is,
”
and
“
Amen
to that!
”
as though we were hearing a preacher give a sermon from the pulpit.

“
Now, how many of you have been to
ceremonies like this very one that started with a line similar to that?
”
He cocked his head to the side
rhetorically, waiting the standard amount of time for his audience to hear the
words.
“
We
honor people we consider special. We hold galas for them. We toast them. We
raise money in their name and call it a cause.
”
He had the perfect voice for this,
one that commanded your attention in a gentle, thoughtful manner. There were
hints of ex-military in there, the many years of retirement softening the tone
and delivery.
“
But
what do you do for someone like Leo Carducci?
”
Another reflective pause and far-off
look for emphasis.
“
What
do give a man that has already given so much?
”

My
fingers found Leo
’
s
under the tablecloth and I squeezed them as I rested my hand onto his thigh. He
kept his eyes trained on the stage ahead, stoic and professional. Focused.

“
I
’
ll tell you what you give him. You
give him the floor, because I guarantee you, anything I have to say will pale
in comparison to what this man can offer.
”
Laughter accompanied by the intermittent clang of silverware and ceramic chimed
through the air. I glanced to Leo and smiled, though he continued to look
forward. The slow swallow I could detect hinted at his nerves, and I squeezed
his hand once more to offer my encouragement.
“
So without further ado, ladies and
gentlemen, would you please join me in welcoming Mr. Leo Carducci.
”

The
hall thundered into applause, a clapping of hands matched with the cheers and
hollers you would expect from a high school football game and not from a
roomful of men and women in such formal attire with such formal titles and such
formal businesses. It was refreshing and real, a display of authentic emotion.

Turns
out I wasn
’
t
the only person absolutely in love with this man.

Leo
rose from his seat, a hand pressed into stomach to hold his jacket there. I
studied him as he walked the three steps up to the stage. His hand engulfed the
announcers and then they swung into one of those half-hugs that men often do.
Smiling, looking at the podium as though he had a script to read from, Leo
blushed while pausing to wait for the applause to die down.

“
Thank you,
”
he spoke over the noise.
“
Thank you all for having me here this
evening.
”

I
was thankful for the amount of doctors I knew to be in attendance tonight,
because it honestly felt as though my heart could explode within my chest. I
was filled with so much pride it physically hurt.

“
Many of you know my story.
”
A respectful quiet fell across the
room.
“
Many
of you know how I lost my mother to cancer when I was fifteen, and that I was a
cancer patient of my own at that point. Many of you have heard about the
remission and then the reoccurrence, followed by another remission and then
another bout.
”
I bit into my bottom lip to pin back the tremble and a red-haired woman at my
side wrapped her arm around my shoulder. I
’
d
never met her before, but in that moment I felt like I knew her. She curled her
fingers into my skin and pulled me toward her for comfort.
“
My success in the clinical trial I
was allowed to be a part of was plastered all over the media, and I
’
m proud to say that as of today, I
’
ve been cancer-free for exactly one
year, eleven months, and twenty-four days. Give or take.
”

I
flinched at the outburst of applause and shook off my emotion. Reaching for the
glass of ice water at my place setting, I took a long sip.

“
So you know my story,
”
Leo continued. He spoke as a
politician, all polished and intentional. Confidence and assuredness poured out
from his mouth. But then he paused, a stutter in his flow.
“
But many of you don
’
t know my wife
’
s.
”

The
instant heat of a thousand-plus eyes burned into me. I closed my own to center
myself, breathing in deep and then out slowly three times before opening them
again. When I did, Leo
’
s
met mine in a loving embrace, like he had his arms wrapped all around me with
just that look. I could feel his reassuring warmth and I relaxed into it.

“
I first met my wife at a coffee shop.
”
A few complementary chuckles.
“
Needless to say, I quickly became a
caffeine addict.
”
More laughter.
“
So
often, the ones in the limelight get all the credit. When the papers announced
that I
’
d
beaten my cancer once more, it was as though I was the one responsible for that
success.
”
A server came to my back and lifted a plate of greens over my shoulder and onto
the table. I raised a fork to pick at it, but I had no interest in eating. I
only wanted to take in every word Leo said.
“
They gave me all the credit
—
some of it to the
doctors
—
but
none where it truly belonged.
”
His eyes never parted from mine as he carried on.
“
The idea for
Caring for the Givers
was born out of the need to recognize the
great sacrifice that those in the caretaker position often make.
”
A trickle of applause started up but
Leo politely waved a silencing hand.
“
Being
someone
’
s
backbone, someone
’
s
strength, someone
’
s
hope, and someone
’
s
motivation is an incredible weight to bear. It
’
s a way of life and honestly, it
truly is the best medicine of all,
”
he smiled. His voice was low and steady as he stared into the bright lights
that hung from the ceiling.
“
But
being a caregiver isn
’
t
a job. You don
’
t
get to clock in and clock out and leave the emotional burden at work. You put
it on. It becomes a part of you; your own kind of cancer you have to
permanently wear.
”

A
tear slipped from my eye and I swiped it quickly with the tip of my finger and
then ran the moist pad of it against the hem of my dress. Leo caught me and
shook his head so slightly with an empathetic nod.

“
Caretakers come in all shapes and
sizes. And just like cancer, it doesn
’
t
discriminate. You don
’
t
apply to become a caretaker. Sometimes you
’
re
born into it like I was with my mother. Other times you marry into it.
Sometimes it
’
s
a friend or a coworker or a loved one that needs the support only you can
provide.
”
A low murmur began to grow as guests finished up their first course at the same
time Leo wrapped up his speech. I still hadn
’
t eaten a thing, but I didn
’
t at all feel hungry. In fact, in
this moment, I was overwhelmingly full.

“
There are many things that may pull
you into caring for another human being,
”
Leo explained. He still held the attention of every member in the room,
captivated by his words and his message. My captivating, beautiful man.
“
But always
—
always
—
it
’
s love that keeps you there.
”

I
swallowed and hugged my arms close to my body. Leo looked down toward me again.

“
My Julie has this gift. She can
create something from nothing.
”
It was suddenly just the two of us now, no one else. Though so many other sets
of ears tuned into his talk, he was speaking only to me. Only for me.
“
It
’
s incredible to watch her work, to
see life develop under her pencil, pour out from her fingers. I honestly don
’
t know anyone that can do what she
does. She
’
s
an artist in the deepest sense of the word: a life giver to everything she
creates.
”

I
dug my fingernails into my side. My air fell out of me.

“
But I don
’
t think she knows that her talent
extends so far beyond that pencil and paper.
”
Eyes, all a blue haze of emotion,
collided with mine and held them there.
“
Because
Julie doesn
’
t
just give life to her creations, she creates life in others. And that
’
s what she did in me.
”

I
had to cup my hand to my mouth to hold back the small yelps that threatened to
sneak past. Sucking in a breath that sounded like a shiver, I nodded for him to
continue.

I
wasn
’
t
the only one crying now, and I allowed myself that freedom as the streams of
water spilled down my face. There was no sense in guarding my emotions when Leo
was so vulnerably displaying his. It was an even exchange, just how things
always were between us. To say that I loved him for it would never come close.
I adored him. All of him.

“
Julie, my love. You drew life out of
me when I didn
’
t
think there was any life left in there. You created hope in me when I
’
d given up all hope. And you
’
ve molded our lives into this
beautiful future for me and for you and our sweet Isabella.
”