Dragon's Heart (24 page)

Killian frowned, “What about it?”

“Are you responsible for it?”

“I think so. When I found out my grandmother had accepted Dennsmore’s offer, I buried Serena’s signet ring there…” he said and paused, “and my mother’s engagement ring, along with my heart. It was a secret I’d intended to keep.”

“I do not think it worked.”

“It seemed to for a while.” Closing his eyes, he swallowed hard, holding his emotions in check. “But, I can’t deny who I am and who I love. Lying to myself doesn’t work.”

“I am truly sorry, my friend, but I am certain your absence has been noted.”

“Please go find Serena, and keep her safe.” He slipped the scrap of gauzy material into his pocket. “If she will listen, please offer her my apologies. I would never have commanded her presence.”

“As you wish, Highness,” Ryan said with a bow before turning in the direction Serena had gone. He didn’t know where she went but, for his friend, he would do his best.

Ryan found Serena in a wooded area that was still part of the castle grounds but far enough from everything where she had some semblance of peace. She was sitting, fingers dug into the dirt, her back against a tree and her head bowed. Ryan crossed to where she sat and settled in beside his friend, offering silent support. He didn’t know how much time passed before Serena took a shuddering breath and turned her head to look at him. She smiled, and while he knew her grin could light up a room, this look threatened to rip his heart out. Her eyes were red-rimmed, puffy. The end of her nose had been rubbed raw. The freckles Killian so loved, stood out against pale skin as he reached up and brushed away a tear sliding down her cheek.

“If it were anyone else who had caused this, I would find and end him,” he swore without thinking.

“Ahh, but it is him, and that would bring more grief.”

“He asked me to tell you he’s sorry you witnessed the wedding. It was not his order.”

“Hers?”

“Yes.”

Serena sighed. “So, it begins.”

“How long were you planning to stay?” he asked. She appeared wrung out, pushed beyond the point of exhaustion from one day of putting on an act.
How is she going to survive longer? I can’t stand to see her like this, and I can’t imagine it will improve Killian’s mood.

Serena glanced back in the direction of the palace. A tired smile curled her lips. “I will leave in the morning. I am not ready to face this. I thought so, but I was fooling myself.”

“I doubt anyone can ever be ready.”

“It is the way of things and, for now, I must adapt.”

“Not tonight,” Ryan said as he draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side. “Tonight we sit here and enjoy the air. We talk about anything that comes to mind and let the court slide into nothingness until morning.”

“Excellent plan, my friend.” A hint of sad laughter touched her words.

Today of all days, should not be like this.
Ryan felt Serena’s breath even out as she drifted to sleep. She
should be in there with Killian celebrating
their
wedding. I wish there was a way to fix this, to bring some joy back into both of their lives. If only I knew how.

K
illian entered
his father’s study, pausing just inside the threshold. The king was sitting behind his massive desk, the mahogany expanse littered with the trappings of kingship—papers, quill and ink, scrolls, wax, and the heavy royal seal. His father was dwarfed by the desk. Clothes hung on his frame as though they’d been made for a man several sizes larger. The majority of his once-thick mane of dark hair had turned white and curled at the edge of his collar in thin hanks.

“Father?” Killian tried to hide the faint tremor in his voice without success as memories of another deathbed washed over him.

The king watched his son, bruise-like shadows under his eyes. “Killian, I need you to take on more duties.” He swallowed hard. “My illness is progressing faster than the healers thought it might, and I can no longer keep my public schedule. I need you to stand in for me. You will bring me reports, and once I have rendered my decisions, you will see to it they are announced, and the appropriate actions are taken.”

Feeling as though he was walking through a thick fog, Killian nodded. “Of course, Father. Is there anything more I can do to help?”

“No.” The king took a deep breath and raised to his feet, muscles straining with the effort. “I regret that I must put so much pressure on you so soon after your marriage. I know it’s only been a few days since your marriage, and this means you and Katia will have to postpone your post-nuptial tour.” He held out his hand to his son. Killian crossed to his father’s side and offered his arm for support. The king resumed speaking as they made their slow way into his private rooms. “I know this is not the marriage you desired, however, Lady Dennsmore is a lovely girl. She will make you happy, give you sons and daughters, should you allow it.”

“Yes, Father,” Killian answered without emotion. He eased his father onto the bed and helped the king get situated into a comfortable sitting position. “Will there be anything else?”

“No, thank you, my son.”

“Rest well, Father.” Killian leaned over and kissed the king’s forehead before leaving the room. Once in the hall, Killian leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back and rest on the cool stone. He let out a long slow breath. “Gods, if you have any love for your servant, take this pain from me.” He pushed off the wall and started walking, not noticing the guards who fell in a discreet distance from him. “If you will not ease my burden, I ask that you do not visit the same upon her. I cannot bear the thought she is suffering because of me.” He turned, passing through another pair of guards as he crossed back into the public halls of the castle. “Ryan?” Killian raised his voice enough so the captain would hear him.

“Yes, Highness?”

“I need a message delivered to Lakeshire province.” He wasn’t certain why he’d said it, but now the words were out, he couldn’t take them back. If he was honest with himself, he didn’t want to take it back. Killian needed to reach out to her to try to mend some of their shattered relationship. He needed her grounding presence and if not her love, at least her friendship.

“When would you like me to leave?”

“Not until morning,” he said.

“As you wish, Highness.” Ryan offered him a bow and fell back into his usual position a few paces behind and to the left of Killian.

R
yan drew
his mount to a halt in the center of the clearing where he’d been meeting Bronwynn to exchange missives sent between Haven and Lakeshire. He’d noticed the number of messages sent between the capital and Serena’s province had increased in the weeks since the wedding. He dismounted, removed his horse’s bridle, slipped a halter on and loosened his girth before turning the animal loose to graze on the grass while he waited. Ryan walked around the area, trying to clear his head.

R
yan
,

Please watch over Killian and keep him safe. Despite what I’ve had to tell him, I do love him and fear his reaction. Please understand I am trying to do what is best for all of us. I trust you will keep him safe and whole while he copes with my betrayal. I wish with all of my heart there had been another way.

Thank you, my friend.

Serena

H
e couldn’t get
the words of the letter she’d sent along with the one that severed her relationship with Killian out of his mind.
You were wrong. This whole situation is wrong. He’s miserable. You’re miserable. Worst of all, he strives to be a better man, a better ruler because of you. I fear what may happen under Katia’s influence.

“You appear deep in thought, my lord.” Bronwynn’s voice interrupted his thoughts. He glanced up and found the Dragon Fey lady standing beside her own mount a few feet away.

He smiled without realizing it. “I was, my lady.”

“Perhaps it is something I can help with.” She tied a rope around her horse’s neck, securing the end to the pommel of the saddle so the animal couldn’t step on it.

“Can you ask Serena, at the very least, to explain to Killian what she’s thinking? After everything else that’s happened, this separation is killing him slowly, day by day.”

“She won’t admit it, but I know it’s the same for her too, if not worse,” Bronwynn muttered.

“Worse?” he asked as Bronwynn removed her horse’s bridle and loosened its girth.

“We don’t fall in love like humans. One of the traits we got from our dragon ancestors is that we mate for life. Once we find our mate, it doesn’t matter when it happens, that’s it. No other man or woman holds any interest for us.” She patted her mount and started strolling toward the hunting lodge where they would rest before resuming their journeys.

“Wait. You’re saying Serena has bonded with Killian?”

“She fell in love, and yes, she has bonded with him. The bonding is part of falling in love for us, it’s not everything, but it’s not going to fade or change. She is going to love him until the last breath leaves her body, whether or not he’s married to another, or they’re together.”

“Harsh.” Ryan pushed open the door and indicated she should go inside before him.

“When you’re separated from your mate, yes. When you’re not, I understand it’s like feeling as though the part of you that was missing is there, even if you never realized it was missing.” She blushed and shook her head. “I’m not explaining it very well.”

“No, I think I understand. She’s hurting just as much, if not more than him.” He approached the table in the center of the room and dropped his saddlebags on it.

“Yes. But I don’t think there’s anything we can do. Serena is convinced she’s doing the right thing… that it’s best for both Illedria and our people if they’re not together.”

“How is it better for the Dragon Fey?”

“She believes an alliance with another powerful Dragon Fey clan will help strengthen her claim to her mother’s throne.”

“Isn’t she right?”

Bronwynn inhaled and let it out slowly. “Yes and no.”

“Either it’s one or the other.” He glanced to his left hand and then his right as he spoke. With a shrug, he asked, “How can it be both?”

“In the beginning, it will strengthen her claim. However, in the long term, it might actually weaken her.”

“I still don’t see how marriage to a Dragon Fey lord could be a bad and good thing?”

“Heirs. It has to do with another trait we inherited from our dragon ancestors. A female Dragon Fey cannot have children with anyone but her mate.”

“So she can fake the marriage.” Ryan nodded, understanding. “Yes, she can pretend to love her husband, but when there are no children, her court will know.”

Bronwynn took a drink from her waterskin and then wetted a linen towel with it.

“And if she marries Killian?” Ryan drummed his fingers on the table.

“He is her mate. That much is clear to anyone who pays attention.”

“But can being mated to a human weaken her?”

“No. The fact that he’s a married human who will inherit his father’s throne does weaken her in the eyes of some.”

“Because she is seen as breaking up a marriage? Or as the lap dog of another kingdom?”

“Breaking up a marriage isn’t the important part. We do not recognize human marriages. In fact, I think if you asked most Dragon Fey, they would say Serena and Killian are already mated, even though there hasn’t been a formal ceremony.”

“So it’s about being the lap dog of another kingdom.” Ryan paced the small room.

“She will have to prove she’s acting in the best interests of the Dragon Fey people and not the kingdom of Illedria.”

“So what weakens her more? Being with Killian or not?”

“Politically, I’d say it’s a draw.” She sighed and shook her head, “Personally, not being with him is taking its toll.”

“I agree with you on that point. So, how do we get
them
to see it?”

Her lavender eyes met his, and a wicked gleam sparkled even in her voice as she said, “That’s going to be the tricky part.”

Ryan looked around, glancing at their surroundings. “This is a hunting lodge. The king’s foresters sometimes use to keep out of storms. They’re not used too often in warmer months.”

“You want to lure them both to this place and do what?”

Ryan smiled. “The doors have latches on them that can be locked from the outside.”

“You want to lock them in here?” Bronwynn spun on her heel. The lodge was small, but comfortable, fitted with a kitchen, and a small bed. “For how long?”

“Not much. A couple of days.”

“And just how are we supposed to get them here?”

“I can convince Killian to go on a hunting trip. That wedding band Katia has on his finger is strangling him as sure as a poorly placed noose. His father’s health has improved, and the king is handling the affairs of state once more. It will be easy. The harder part is going to be finding the guards who are willing to watch the lodge but look the other way with regard to their prince spending several days alone with a woman who is not his wife. Do you think you can convince Serena to come here?”

“Leave it to my sisters and me. The most important question is how soon can we get them both here?” Bronwynn asked.

“How does a month sound?”

“Too long, but I’m not certain I can arrange it before then. The council thinks the princess needs to handle many decisions personally.” Bronwynn rolled her eyes and sighed.

“A month. I’m certain we will need to meet again to exchange messages. We can work out the details.”

“I think we should agree upon a date so we can start working on how to get them here.”

“Shall we say… The third day of the third month?”

“So, twenty-eight days?”

“I don’t think we can do it any sooner without either of them getting suspicious.”

Bronwynn sighed and shook her head as she started a circuit of the lodge’s one room, her head spinning with ideas and plans. Questions rang in her head, over and over without end. After a while, she stopped and faced Ryan. “Is this the right thing to do? What if he can’t be free of his lawful wife? Will being his lover hidden in the shadows be sufficient for Serena? Would not remaining apart be preferable to being known as his whore, as you know his wife will call her?”

“I believe it is something Killian and Serena must discuss. We cannot make those choices for them.” Ryan sighed.

“It might make things easier if we could.”

“You’re right.” He sat down again, leaned back in the chair as far as possible without tipping it and closed his eyes. The plan was risky and stood a good chance of failing, but they had to make an attempt. Watching Killian’s heart harden with each passing day, and seeing him become someone Serena wouldn’t respect, wasn’t what he’d agreed to when he signed on with the Royal Guard. “We have to try. If they can’t work something out, maybe they can find closure and some measure of peace.”