Dragonborn (The Jade Lee Romantic Fantasies, Book 1) (42 page)

These things he thought she valued. And in truth, she did. They were amazing, leaving her spent and filled with a contentment deep in her bones. But that was not what she cherished most.

She cherished most the moments he touched her in passing, almost without thought, because he wanted to be with her. She valued the way he tried to hide his worry from her, fearing that she would begin to doubt herself. But most of all, she loved the way he listened to her.

At first they spoke of little beyond training: what she could do, what she could control. Then they began to discuss how they could hide from the Emperor until they were ready, and in what manner a dragon fought. In this, of course, they relied heavily upon the Queen, whose inherent knowledge was surprisingly and disturbingly vast. But mostly Kiril and Natiya explored their problems together "like two blind drunks in an alley," as he often said; they talked.

And in the last few days, usually when they ate their evening meal, Kiril asked about her childhood and her dreams, about the girl she used to be and the woman she'd wanted to become. He listened to her thoughts and then shared his own past. And this she loved most of all. She hadn't known his left side was nearly as dexterous as his right, but he'd kept that a secret. Nor had she known that he loved shaping metal and clay since the first day he played in the dirt. In fact, without his loga wire, he had been reduced to carving sticks he found in the mountains, whittling them into birds or fish, insects and animals. He inevitably destroyed the things he made, otherwise their cave would be littered with carvings of all types of living creatures. And yet, she saw those sculptures as a window into his soul.

He had a great love for living things, honoring all that nature gave. And yet he was first a warrior. It hurt him, she knew, to watch beauty and life destroyed, though that too was a secret he kept well buried. Every death weighed heavily on his soul, and she believed that he longed for a time when he could at last lay down his sword.

That more than anything else pushed her to work at what he wanted her to learn. Because when this was all done, when Dag Racho was deposed forever, then perhaps Kiril could lay down his weapon and find peace in the shaping of loga wire or the carving of stone. That was her desire for him, and so she told him one night. He was sharpening his sword in the fading evening light, and she was waiting for the stars to come out while the Queen dozed near the cave mouth.

The words came easily, and she spoke softly, her vow as natural to her as breath. "One day soon you will be able to put down your sword forever. There will be no need to kill anymore; this I swear to you."

He looked up, his expression wistful. "That is a lovely dream, Natiya, but a vain hope. Do not fool yourself into believing it will ever come to pass."

She straightened, coming to stand beside him. "But after we kill Dag Racho—"

"Nature abhors a vacuum." He reached out, pulling her down beside him, and she curled naturally into his arms as he continued. "The Emperor controls so much. If we defeat him—"
 

"When," she interrupted, correcting him.
 

He shrugged. "When this is all over, a great many people will want his power, and most of them are just as bad as the Emperor." He sighed. "That is the one good thing I can say about Dag Racho—he kept many other evildoers in check."

"But after he is gone—"

"They will come out in force. Indeed, with his focus on us, some of them probably are already preparing."

She twisted, liking the sound of his heartbeat beneath her cheek. It seemed to combine with the steady wash of nearby ocean waves, bringing dreams of an eternity cocooned in such simple bliss. She was so content with the sound, it took a moment for her to comprehend his words. "What do you mean, 'are already preparing'?"

He dropped a kiss on her forehead, but his thoughts were far away. "I forgot that you weren't conscious at the time. Do you remember waking the Coral?"

The days before the hatching were fuzzy in places, but she definitely remembered channeling energy—only Amia knew how—into the sleeping dragon. "Rashad had kept her like that—in water—for decades," she murmured.

Kiril tightened his hold on her, folding her closer against him. "That's the only reason we escaped, Natiya. Because the Emperor was busy fighting—"

"His sister."

She felt him flinch, and she shared his horror as he spoke. "Sweet Amia, that was his own sister?" He shifted so that he could look directly at her face, and she lifted her head to accommodate him. But she did not expect the fierce anger that burned in his eyes. "I will not let that happen to you, Natiya. Decades encased in water? Whatever happens, I will not let—"

"Don't make promises, Kiril. Especially ones you can't keep." She straightened the rest of the way, pulling out of his arms. "If this goes badly, neither of us will be in a position to defend anyone." Her eyes narrowed. "Unless you have a plan I don't know."

His expression hardened, boring into hers. "My plan, Natiya? You haven't shared any of the details of your own. What do you intend to do?"

She was flustered. "You are to fight Dag Racho—"

"While your Queen fights the Copper," he finished for her. "I know what we discussed. But to what end do we fight? I plan to kill the Emperor. Will you kill his dragon?"

She flushed, reminded once again how much of a novice she was at this game of hiding truth, especially from a man like Kiril. He had known from the very beginning that she had other plans, and yet he remained by her side, teaching and believing in her. The thought was humbling. She tensed, knowing she would have to work hard to convince him.

"Dragons are not evil, Kiril. They are merely... different."

He snorted. "They are creatures of passion, Natiya. They live to hunt and destroy. They take what they want. And when they bond with a human, they gain all of our intelligence, our reason. Combine the two, and you create Dag Racho."

As if on cue, the golden Queen chose that moment to scramble up and abruptly launch herself into the sky in order to hunt up her next meal. It was dark enough now for her to be relatively safe from human eyes. Dragon eyes would see her, of course, but that was a risk they had to take.

Natiya watched the Queen glory in flight, pure joy in her every movement, but inside she felt the Queen's stomach rumble with hunger, and felt her own blood quicken in anticipation of the hunt. Natiya knew the prey would be fish and that the Queen was equally happy with the sea's bounty as she was with land-based meat, but either way, Kiril's statement had an echo of truth. The dragon's primitive drive to hunt was amazingly strong. In fact, in those first few days, Natiya had found it difficult not to become overwhelmed herself.

Only Kiril had kept her grounded in her own body. He had talked constantly, trying to keep her mind with his. Whenever that had failed, he'd resorted to his touch, his caress. Eventually, she had found a way to retain her own mind and control, even when the Queen was overwhelmed by a desire to kill or eat.

"I am not evil," she said.

"You are amazingly strong," he agreed. "And it has not been so long for you yet." He glanced at the nearly black sky. "And she is very young."

Natiya shook her head. "Our minds are completely separate at these times." She didn't want to admit that her body still hummed with the Queen's flight, the sensations of wind and air tingling across her skin.

"Which is why you must tell me now—without her listening—exactly what you plan and why."

She sighed. He was right. If they ever hoped to succeed, she would have to tell him everything. "I think you have it backwards, Kiril. It is not the dragons who are filled with emotions, it is we humans. I think they have a plan—"

"The dragons?"

"Yes."

She knew that terrified him. Indeed, his hand instinctively clutched his sword, so she rushed words out quickly, hoping to make him understand. "But it is not what you think. They don't want to destroy us—"

"Only dominate us? Take control? Use us as food?"

The very thought revolted her, and yet she could understand how Kiril might think that way. "I think that is Dag Racho's example, not the true path for all dragons." Then she paused, hating to ask but needing to know the truth. "How often did you see the Emperor feed prisoners to the Copper?"

Kiril shrugged, the motion tight with anger. "Often."

"And the laws with such a punishment were tightly enforced to maintain his supply," Natiya recalled. She looked outside to where the Queen flew, playing in the waves, diving and catching fish after fish to fill her belly. She was small now, and sated by a dozen or so of the creatures. But how long before such a meal wasn't enough? How long before the Queen required a full cow or more?

"This is not how it should be," she stated firmly. "This state—this bonding—is only half the process. It has not been completed." Kiril shifted, his eyebrows pulled down in thought. Natiya took a deep breath. "It is the first step in a change," she said softly. "An exchange of bodies."

His eyes searched hers, and he began to speak, but she shook her head, needing to finish before he interrupted.

"That is the separation I have promised you. The bodies change. The Queen will take my body, her consciousness completely in this form." She gestured to herself. "While I—"

"Become her." He groaned. "Natiya, you cannot do this! I cannot. I won't—"

"You'll kill me," she said. "That's what you haven't told me, isn't it? Despite everything, you still intend to kill—"
 

"The dragon, Natiya. Your beast. Not you."
 

"But that will be me, Kiril. And so I must leave you and Ragona behind." Her gaze drifted out across the ocean, her sights focused not on the Queen but a place far to the north. "There is a land of dragons, Kiril. I'm not sure where, but I will find it." She abruptly tore her sight back to him. "There are things out there, things the dragons know that I want to learn."

"What things?" he asked, an urgency in his voice that she had never heard. "What do the dragons have that we do not? And what—"

"What do they want from us?" He nodded.

She shook her head. "I... I don't entirely know."

"But you must know," he pressed. "Think. What does the Queen really love about you? What does she ask you to do? What does she encourage?"

Natiya thought, searching through her memories without tapping those of her dragon; she didn't want it to realize what she was doing. She spoke slowly, the process taking a great deal of time. "At first she always questioned. Why this? What does that mean?"

"Gathering information."

"Yes. But later—"

"How much later?"

"Certainly after she shared memories with the Copper. But before that, I think. When—"

"When we first came together at the clutching cave." It was not a question, but Natiya answered nonetheless.

"Yes," she said softly. "The changes began then."

"Because she was maturing?"

Natiya nodded, but slowly, because she knew there was more to the situation than that. "Because..." She looked around, seeing the smooth walls of the cave, the shimmer of reflective stone and the way the clutching caves were shaped like a funnel—like a cone with the large end aimed out to sea. "Because this is where she talks to the others."

"What?" Kiril was so alarmed, he jumped to his feet, scanning the cave and then the skies as if he feared immediate attack. "Others? What do they say?"

Natiya shook her head even as she, too, scrambled backward. "I don't know," she answered, her voice betraying her agitation. And more than her voice, she realized, because just then the Queen's flight faltered. It was a small movement, barely even registering, but Natiya felt it nonetheless. And she knew the Queen sensed her distress.

It is nothing, Natiya thought to the dragon. Kiril thinks you are evil.

It was a ready excuse, and one the Queen easily accepted.

We wish only to search for the human. That is not evil. It is the natural progression of things.

The perfect human? Natiya pressed as she had so often before. What does that mean?

We mean you no harm. We search. That is all.

Naitya didn't argue. She'd had the very same discussion a hundred times with the same vague result. So she sighed, then worked to quiet her thoughts, quiet her emotions until the Queen's attention was caught by the dark shift of prey near the water's surface. Soon the beast was occupied with hunting, and Natiya could focus once again on Kiril.

He stood watching her, his sword at the ready. He stood so he could see both the Queen and her, probably trying to guess what had transpired.

"It is difficult to shield my thoughts from her. I cannot do this forever," Natiya admitted.

"She will grow too strong," he agreed.

"No," she snapped. "I am tired of it—this constant paranoia. It is part of what has made the Emperor insane. At first I thought it only a symptom, for he was an anxious child with much to fear. But now perhaps it is the other way around. This need for privacy in one's own thoughts creates a paranoia that permeates everything. If I cannot trust my own thoughts, how can I trust anything?"