Downtime (22 page)

“An
accomplice,” Calla said.

“Bought
with what?” D’Omaha said. “Decemviri are entitled to elixir for their entire
lives, so it can’t be that. And you of all people know we are well rewarded in
other ways during our years of service and beyond.”

“Some
never get enough,” Calla said. “Mahdi’s rich, and he has incredible power. But
I served under him once, and I believe that even being imperator general is not
enough to satisfy him.”

“I
don’t agree,” D’Omaha said. “You’re blinded by righteous anger because he shot
the danae.”

Calla
looked at Jason. He was watching her intently. “Yes, I was angry. But I don’t
stop thinking when I’m angry. He took the elixir.”

“Did
he try to bribe you?” D’Omaha asked.

“Mahdi
would not try to bribe me. He knows me, knows about my singularity. He knows I
do not like him, that I’ve always seen through him. He bribed someone else. We
hadn’t thought of that, not even the brilliant Decemvirate thought of that.
Unless it was you, D’Omaha, we’re not going to find out who until it’s very
late in his plan. The second traitor has nothing to lose by simply keeping
silent. He or she probably has been paid in elixir, which is easily hidden or
disguised, and we won’t have enough time to watch for the effects. If Mahdi’s
plan succeeds, the traitor will act and if we’re not careful Mahdi will get his
continued supply of elixir. If Mahdi fails, who will ever know?”

“If
you’re right, he’d have to kill you, me, D’Omaha, maybe even Marmion.”

“Unless
it is Marmion, in which case there will be only two assassinations. Yours and D’Omaha’s.”

“You’re
invincible?” Jason said sarcastically.

“I
won’t be here.”

“Why
not? You just took command of the whole damn planet,” Jason said gesturing to
the jelly bean tank.

“I
let him get away,” Calla said. “And unless I continue to let him get away, we
won’t be certain he’s the one. Mahdi’s requisition is perfectly genuine, as
Praetor D’Omaha pointed out. The Decemvirate itself could tell me no
differently. They act as one body, even when only one of them executes orders.
But if Mahdi’s guilty, he’s going to use that elixir in some unauthorized
fashion, or do something else wrong. I intend to follow him and wait until he
does.”

Jason
seemed stunned. “You can’t be serious.”

D’Omaha
pushed away from the table. “Talk some sense into her, Jason. I’ve been trying
and haven’t gotten anywhere. Mahdi’s not guilty. If she follows him and the
real traitor comes, we’ve got nothing to throw after him because she’ll have
taken the raiders.”

“That’s
what’s out behind the moon? A raider team?”

Nodding,
D’Omaha stood up. “The Praetorian Raiders. The best. But the only one we have
here.” He started for the door. “If you go, I will have to tell the Decemvirate
that you would not follow my advice, Calla.”

“You
were sent along to give me advice,” Calla said. “The decision always was mine.”

Not
bothering to conceal his anger, D’Omaha left.

“So,”
Jason said leaning back in his chair. “I was a pawn after all. If your traitor
had arrived to find the planet under martial law, he might have become
suspicious.”

“Had
I but known it was Mahdi. Mahdi probably would have approved. He has no use for
ranger installations. They’re too . . . civilian to suit him.”
She smiled a little. “You are too civilized.”

“Calla,
do I know everything now?”

“I
could fill in many details, but essentially yes. You know everything.”

He
leaned across the table and took her hand. “Mahdi is brutal. There have been
two deaths already.”

She
looked at him, suddenly remembering Blue-eyes and Tonto.

“Blue-eyes
is dead. Tonto is probably dead, too. The nymphs wouldn’t have anything to do
with them. I don’t know why. Maybe they have to be healthy to
die
in that way. Maybe Arria didn’t know
what she was talking about. All I know now is that the man who shot the danae
and cut open two living beings to rip out galls is the same man you say you’re
going after. I don’t want you to go.”

Calla
tried to pull her hand away, but Jason held on. “Jason, it’s not for you to
say. It’s not even a matter of what you and I want. There is a war about to
start. I believe Mahdi is the man who will start it. There are far too many
other lives at stake.”

Jason
shook his head. “You said I know everything now. If that’s true, you should
value my opinion. D’Omaha could be right. You could be wrong. Let me recall
Mahdi to face charges. Working together, we’ll get him to betray himself.”

“Mahdi
is still Mahdi, imperator general and pompous ass. He won’t do you the courtesy
of returning. He’ll just tell you to file the charges back in the Hub, that he’ll
face them there.”

“The
law says . . .”

“I
don’t care what it says. Mahdi won’t return. Even if he weren’t guilty of
treason, Mahdi wouldn’t return. He’d laugh in your face. And the next thing you
know you’d have orders for some planet so far downtime that it would be useless
to recall you for any hearing. Even if you had a case strong enough to get into
the courts, he’d simply let it get tangled in time until no one really cared
what the outcome was . . . probably not even you.”

Jason
dropped her hand and sat back. “I don’t understand. You don’t believe in the
system now any more than you did thirty years ago. But you’re willing to fight
for it, even die for it?”

“I
won’t die doing this,” Calla said evenly. “I’m too good at what I do.”

“Leading
raider teams?”

Calla
nodded. “What did you think I would do when I got too old to sit on a horse?
Raiders don’t have to walk much, Jason. We just think.”

“You’re
serious.”

“Yes.”

“Damn.
You said I knew everything. Now you tell me you lead the Praetorian raiders.”

“I
gave you more credit than you deserved. I didn’t think you’d believe they’d
send a mere Praetorian guard to save all the known worlds.” She saw his jaw jut
out stubbornly, and knew that he still did not
want
to believe.

“Last
time we separated it was because you wouldn’t ask me to stay. You were too
proud. It has taken me a long time to realize that. I won’t let it happen
again. This time it’s you who wants to leave, and I’m asking you. Calla, don’t
go. I love you and I don’t want you to leave me.”

Why
now? she wanted to say. Why not thirty years ago? But it would have been she
who would have had to ask him to stay, and she couldn’t because she couldn’t
have borne hearing his refusal. “How can you do this to me?” she said “Why can’t
you make it as painless as possible?”

“Is
that what you think you did for me?” Jason said. He shook his head.

“But
you wouldn’t have stayed. You couldn’t. I can’t.”

“Maybe.
I know what you’re thinking, what you thought then. That if I stayed just
because you couldn’t go that I’d always feel cheated, that it would go sour for
us. At least, when I’m being gentle with the old us, that’s what I think. But I
remember all the loneliness afterwards, and sometimes when the loneliness hurt
so much that I couldn’t stand it anymore I’d think that the real reason you
didn’t ask me to stay was because you didn’t want me to. You always understood
the palace intrigues from the whispering bath attendants to the subtleties at headquarters
to, it seems now, the Council of Worlds and the Decemvirate itself. And you
could deal with them all. No bath attendant ever stole the change out of your
pockets, and you never ended up on report at the end of the month. And there I
was. Always flat broke and picking weeds in the compound on judgment day at the
first of the month. I wondered if maybe I wasn’t in your way, that maybe deep
down inside you were glad to see me go. I told myself to hell with you, because
it hurt too much to think of how much I love you.”

“Are
you going to tell me that you have never loved anyone these past years because
you were afraid you’d get hurt again?” Calla said. “Don’t lie. You’re afraid of
nothing. Never were. Never will be.”

“No.
I wasn’t going to say that. I wasn’t even going to tell you that I fell in love
time after time and always managed to get hurt . . . made sure I
got hurt every time. Calla, it isn’t important to me right now what you think
of what I did all those years, nor even why. What’s important is that it not
happen to you. You are older than me and every year shows on you and we both
know it. I don’t care. But I don’t think you believe that I don’t care. If you
go, I don’t ever want you to wonder, to have any doubts at all. I’m asking you
to stay. I’m begging you to stay. Let the whole damn universe pay what it must,
but stay here with me. I love you, and I don’t care that the Timekeeper has
marked you. Stay with me.”

“You’re
only saying that because.”

“Because
I’ve already heard you say you can’t stay? No! Dammit, no.” Jason got up from his
chair and came around the table. “I’m saying it because I mean it.” He took her
by the shoulders and squeezed so hard that Calla winced. “Tell me if there’s
anything I can say or do that would prove to you that I mean it. I don’t have
any resources where you’re concerned. You’ve always been smarter. Tell me how
to prove to you that I want you to stay.”

“Be
here when I get back,” she said.

“No,”
he said. “That’s the one thing I won’t do. I won’t make it easy for you to go.
If you win, you’ll be the next imperator general, and I would have to be your
faithful companion to be near you. You couldn’t see me in that uniform the last
time we parted. I still can’t wear it.”

“I’ll
tell them no,” she said.

“Well,”
he said. “That’s something, but still not what I want to hear. If you’re the
very best for the job, you won’t be able to refuse. I know you too well.”

“Then
what should I say?” Calla said, feeling tears running down her cheeks.

“That
you’ll stay,” he said.

“But
you already know that I can’t.”

He
stared at her a moment longer, his blue eyes tragic with longing. Then he
pulled her to his chest and held her very tight. “I know you can’t stay,” he
whispered. “I know it, and I love you because you’re going. But I wish it were
not so.”

I
don’t understand anymore, she wanted to say, but her throat seemed too
constricted for anything but sobs. It was the end if she left, for he said he
would not wait. Yet he loved her because she had to go. And to compound her
consternation, it was above all clear to her that he did not want her to leave.
Then he kissed her, and she knew how much she wanted to stay. But she would
leave, and they both knew it, and so the kissing paled.

“All
right,” he finally said. “I’ve said everything I can think of to make you stay.
I won’t give you my blessings, but I won’t try to stop you.”

“There’s
nothing you can do to stop me,” she said.

“I
know. That’s why I won’t try. Antiqua, did it hurt you when they called you
that?”

“Sometimes,
but mostly not.”

“It
was a tribute to what you have become,” he said. “Not only old, but wise.”

“If
I’m so wise, why don’t I understand what’s going on between us right now?”

“A
blind spot caused by your singularity, You always had it, wore it like a
banner. Still do. You’ll wear it in your grave.”

“But
you . . . you’re perfect, right?”

“Hell,
no. I’m letting you go, and it’s going to hurt and I can’t find a way to stop
it. I don’t think it’s bad luck. I’m doing it myself.” He shrugged. “If I weren’t
I’d know how to stop it.” He shrugged again and sighed. “Come on. I need a
bath, and I’ll bet you didn’t get your nap.”

“That
doesn’t matter.”

“Yes
it does. You’re crabby unless you nap, old woman.”

“Don’t
call me that. Call me anything you want, but never call me old.”

“Antiqua,
then. It means wise in the old language.”

“I
know what it means,” Calla said irritably. “It just doesn’t sound the same to
me.”

“Like
I said . . . crabby.” He brushed the switch by the door and it
opened.

Jason
stopped. Calla immediately saw why. Sitting on the polished sandstone floor of
the corridor, hugging her thin, bare knees, was Arria Jinn. Her hair had been
plaited into one long braid that fell over her right breast, but many of the
fine strands had pulled loose around her face. Her gray eyes were fixed on the
doorway, unseeing it seemed until she blinked.

“The . . .
door wouldn’t let me in,” she said, her voice low and uncertain.

Calla
looked up and down the corridor. There was no one in sight. Arria should not
have been able to penetrate this far into Red Rocks without an escort. “Something
must be wrong,” Calla said, ready to run to the tunnel-ramp entrance.

Jason
caught her by the hand. “She must have sneaked in,” he said.

“Yes,
but no one . . . “

“Arria
could.”

“I
hid,” Arria said. “I hid and waited until I was sure you were here. Daniel said
I wouldn’t be afraid any more, but there was so many people, all so close. I
was afraid.”

“Where’s
Daniel?”

Arria
shook her head and looked at Jason in great bewilderment. “I sang,” she said. “I
sang until I was too hungry to sing any longer. They came, and one started to
spin. But it wouldn’t finish. Even though I sang for days, it wouldn’t finish.”

Jason
grimaced as Calla looked at him. They both understood that Arria had sung a
danae death song for Daniel, but that Daniel, like Old Blue-eyes, had died
without a nymph cocoon as a shroud.

Jason
stepped over to Arria, helped her to her feet. “It doesn’t always work, Arria.
Sometimes they just die,” he said. “You know that, don’t you?”

Arria
nodded. “I just never thought father would.” As Jason put his arm around her,
she leaned against him. “He must have known, though, because he told me that if
anything ever happened to him I should come to the ranger station, that you
would help me to arrange passage to Mercury.”