Down London Road (22 page)

‘Wha–’

‘Hush.’ His breath whispered against my lips and he lowered his hands until they circled my waist. ‘You feel this too. You’ve felt it since the night we met.’

I couldn’t find my voice, lost in a mixture of exultation that I hadn’t been alone in this from the beginning and anxiety that we were doing something wrong and we’d be caught. I licked my lips nervously.

He took it as an invitation.

My gasp was swallowed by his kiss, his mouth hot as his tongue slid against mine. Stubble scratched my skin as he deepened the kiss, and his right hand glided up my side, over my ribs, until it came to a rest at my breast. His thumb brushed the underside deliberately. My skin immediately caught fire and I reached for him, my arms curling around his neck, drawing him closer. I moaned into his mouth, my heart hammering as my senses went
on overload. I could taste coffee on his tongue, smell the scent of his skin, feel his heat, his strength. I was surrounded. And I wanted more.

I forgot where we were.

Who we were.

All I cared about was climbing inside of Cam.

Our grip on each other was almost painful, our kiss hard, wet, desperate.

Right
.

Cam groaned, the vibration reverberating in my chest and soaring downward between my legs, and I writhed against him. He got the message, pressing his body deeper against mine, his erection digging into my lower stomach as his legs spread mine farther apart. I whimpered with a want that was out of control and Cam pulled back to stare at my swollen lips. I’d never seen a man so lost in a sexual fog and my sex clenched at the knowledge of the power I had over him, my knickers damp as my body grew ready for him.

Cam nipped at my bottom lip, and then licked the same spot. ‘I’ve fantasized a million times about this mouth,’ he told me hoarsely before crushing my lips against his again.

The embrace was even more out of control than the last one, and when I felt his warm fingers against the inside of my thigh, I deepened the kiss, urging him onward to explore. When I felt his fingers go beneath my underwear, I almost exploded.

His fingers slipped torturously slowly inside me and I cried out against his mouth, my hips jerking against his hand.

Cam dragged his mouth from mine, panting against my neck. ‘If we don’t stop, I’m going to fuck you right here.’

Those words were like a cold shower and I pitched back under the icy blast – guilt and shame I’d never felt before spraying down on me as Cam lifted his head to look at me.

Slowly, as he took in my expression, the sexual haze dissipated from his eyes and I felt the loss of his fingers. ‘Jo …’

I shook my head at him and pushed against his shoulders, trying to fight back the tears. ‘We can’t do this. What are we doing?’

The muscle in Cam’s jaw twitched and he abruptly released me, only to grab me by the upper arms, his expression raw with some unnamed emotion. ‘I’m ending it with Becca. Tonight.’

Tonight? Now?
The blood rushed in my ears as panic set in and I realized what he really meant …

‘I know. It’s shit, I know. But I can’t go on like this. I’m not the guy who cheats on his girlfriend. And I can’t continue to be the guy who fucks his girlfriend wishing all the time she was someone else.’

Elation and fear washed over me in equal measure. ‘Cam, I …’

‘You want this. I know you do.’ He pressed his forehead against mine and I closed my eyes, breathing him in. ‘Will you leave Malcolm?’

My muscles locked and I knew Cam felt it, because his grip on my arms tightened.

‘Johanna?’

The truth was, I didn’t know the answer to that question.
Walking away from Malcolm wasn’t just about me. It was about me and Cole and our future.

‘You’re telling me you’re going to stay with that guy?’ Cam asked harshly, shaking me a little. ‘You’re going to go through the rest of your life standing at his side at parties, laughing that stupid bloody fake giggle, with your eyes contradicting your mouth every time it opens.’ He pulled back and I almost flinched at the distaste in his eyes. ‘That girl you were out there is not Jo. I don’t know who that is, but she’s an arse who pisses me off. She’s fake, she’s simpering, and she’s a fucking bimbo. She’s not you.’

We were silent, our breathing uneven and loud as we worked to calm the tension between us. Hurt by his words, and yet in agreement with them, I found my mind whirling as I tried to weigh my options, the consequences, what was right and what was wrong.

I took too long to answer.

Cam let go of me and I shivered, feeling instantly cold. I wanted to die at the look he gave me.

Without another word, he reached past me to unlock the door and I found myself unceremoniously moved aside as he wrenched it open and disappeared into the party.

Tears clogged my throat, but I refused to let them travel to my eyes, my hands clenching at my sides. I could handle this without the waterworks. I knew I could.

Moving on shaking legs, I slumped against the sink to stare at my reflection and then gasped in horror. My cheeks were flushed, my eyes bright, and my skirt was still rucked up a little from where Cam had slipped his hand between my legs. I gasped again, remembering his fingers
in me, and I gripped the sink so tight that my knuckles turned white. My nipples were peaked against my shirt and the colour was still high on my cheeks.

I had to get myself under control or everyone would know what I’d been up to.

I gave myself ten minutes and as I returned to Malcolm’s side, I saw Cam out of the corner of my eye shoving his way through the crowds of people towards the exit. The front door slammed loudly not too long after.

‘You okay?’ Malcolm’s voice pulled my head around.

‘He’s a bastard!’ Becca could suddenly be heard over the hum of music and voices. Malcolm and I twisted around to find her. She was in the corner, being comforted by her friends.

‘Do you think he dumped her?’ Malcolm asked in my ear. ‘While you were in the bathroom they were arguing.’

Ashamed that I knew the answer all too well, I couldn’t look at him. ‘Looks like it.’

‘You okay?’ he repeated.

‘I’m not feeling this party.’ I shrugged.

‘Yeah, and it looks like Becca is about to kick off.’ Malcolm sighed. ‘Would it be awful if we snuck out?’

I threw him a weak smile. ‘It would be great.’

He held my jacket and I shrugged into it. Two seconds later I let him pull me out of the flat. Without a word we walked down Leamington Terrace to the main road on Bruntsfield Place and waited for a taxi to approach with its light on. When we had no luck, Malcolm took out his phone. ‘I’ll just call us one. We’ll go back to my place for a while, yeah?’

I thought about heading back to his place with him, of
him leading me up to his room like he always did, undressing me slowly and pushing me back on the bed …

It left me cold.

It made me feel sick with guilt.

Like I was cheating …

Malcolm had just put the phone to his ear when I found myself blurting out, ‘Stop.’

Taken aback, Malcolm immediately lowered his phone and switched it off. His eyes washed over my face and whatever he saw there made his lips pinch tight together. He took a moment and then he asked, ‘What’s going on?’

My practicality had taken a run and jumped off the nearest cliff. My emotions were fully in charge as I replied, ‘I can’t go back to your place.’

And then he surprised the hell out of me. ‘Because of Cam.’

After working so hard to control them earlier, I felt those blasted tears hit my eyes. ‘I’m so sorry.’

Malcolm heaved a sigh and I saw pain flicker in his gaze as it searched my face. ‘I really care about you, Jo.’

‘I care about you, too.’

‘I see the way he looks at you. The way you look at him. I knew there was something …’

‘I’m sorry.’

He shook his head, holding a hand up to stop me. ‘Don’t.’

‘I feel awful.’

‘I can see that.’

‘I never slept with him.’

His jaw clenched and then relaxed enough for him to reply, ‘I know. You’re not that kind of girl.’

Fingers quaking, I pushed up the sleeve on my jacket and unfastened the Omega watch he’d given me for Christmas. When he made no move to take it, I lifted his hand and placed the gift in the palm of it, curling his fingers around it. ‘Thank you for everything, Malcolm.’

When he looked up from the watch, a piercing ache emanated from my chest at the dejection I saw in his face. ‘He’s just a kid who doesn’t know what the hell kind of gift he’s getting in you, and when he’s done, when he makes the mistake of throwing you away, I hope you’ll come back to me.’ He stepped towards me and I froze as he dipped his head to press a sweet kiss against my cold lips. ‘We could be really happy.’

I didn’t take a breath until he put some distance between us. He threw up a hand and I turned to see he was flagging down a taxi. It did a U-turn and pulled up at the kerb. Malcolm opened the door for me. ‘I’ll be here when he’s done with you.’

I left him standing on the street, as the taxi took me back to London Road.

I’d broken up with Malcolm.

Oh, my God.

I felt heavyhearted. I felt remorseful. I was worried I wasn’t doing the right thing. However, overriding all of that was this desperation to find Cam, to tell him I did feel what he felt. For the first time in as long as I could remember I was going after what I really wanted. Perhaps tomorrow I would lament the decision, but tonight I just wanted a taste of something really good and pure for once.

I almost threw the fare at the taxi driver, then rushed
into the building, my boots slapping carelessly against the concrete as I hurried up the stairs. I was just rounding the stairwell to Cam’s landing when I heard a door open. As I reached the top of the stairs, he came into view, standing barefoot in his doorway, waiting for me.

Overwhelmed that just the sight of him made my chest so full of emotion that it hurt, I stumbled a little towards him, my boots just clipping the doorstep.

Cam didn’t say anything. Every inch of him was solid with tension as he looked at me.

‘Cam –’

My words were swallowed by motion as his hand clamped around my wrist, wrenching me hard against his body, his mouth slamming down on mine. I instantly wrapped myself around him, and my fingers curled in the hair at the back of his neck as I licked and sucked and flicked my tongue against his, our kiss so deep I didn’t even realize I was inside his flat until the door crashed shut behind us.

Cam broke the kiss to pull back, his hands shoving my jacket off my shoulders. I let it drop to the floor, exhilarated in
feeling
– my breasts were swollen, my skin burned, and I was surprised once more to realize I was already wet for him from just a kiss and anticipation. ‘Cam …’ I whispered urgently, needing some part of me touching him at all times. I slid my hand up under the bottom of his tee, feeling silken, hard, hot skin against my palm. ‘I broke up with him.’

He nodded, his hands on my waist as he yanked me to him, my breasts brushing his chest deliciously. I shivered and Cam smiled, fully aware of the power he had over me.
In reaction to his cockiness, my hand glided back down his six-pack and out from under his shirt and didn’t stop its descent. He sucked in his breath as I rubbed him through his jeans, watching the colour on his cheekbones rise. ‘I got that, baby,’ he said with a groan. ‘You wouldn’t be here otherwise.’

‘Are we really doing this?’ I whispered against his mouth.

His hands squeezed my waist, and I looked up into his eyes. They were almost navy with scorching heat. ‘We’re really doing this. No backing out.’ His lips skimmed my jaw until his mouth stopped at my ear. ‘I’m going to fuck you so hard, sink so deep inside of you, you’ll never work me out from under your skin. Never.’

Tingles exploded all over my body at his words.

I reached for his mouth. I loved the taste of him, the feel, the way he kissed, like I hoped he screwed. I sucked his tongue hard and he shuddered, his growl urging me on, until it descended into the wettest, dirtiest kiss I’d ever experienced.

My back slammed up against the wall as he crashed us into it. ‘I can’t wait,’ he told me breathlessly.

I shook my head, my chest heaving against his, telling him silently I couldn’t wait either.

I felt his warm, rough hands on my outer thighs as they brushed my skin, pushing my skirt up to my waist. With an almost animalistic grunt, Cam curled his hands around the fabric of my knickers and tugged, the sound of it tearing away from my body and the sudden air between my legs increasing the heat between us to a combustible level. He’d just ripped my underwear off! Holy hell!

That was seriously hot.

I thought I would feel exposed, uncomfortable, standing there with my skirt at my waist, the most private part of me on display for him. I felt neither.

All I felt was urgency.

Our lips collided, biting, nipping, licking, as we both reached for the closure on his jeans. He shoved them and his boxers down to his ankles, freeing his cock, and I watched as he took his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled a condom out of it. As he rolled it up his straining dick, I gasped. It was big, but I had had big before. That wasn’t what the gasp was for. The gasp was for the girth.

‘Oh, my,’ I breathed, feeling the trickle between my legs incite my already excited state.

‘Why, thank you.’ Cam flashed me a cocky grin that made me laugh – laughter that ended with a gasp as he gripped my legs, spread them, and thrust up into me.

‘Cam!’ I cried out in pleasured shock, his throbbing heat overwhelming me. Every feeling, thought, all my focus was on the sensation of his thickness inside me, and I struggled for breath as my body tried to adjust and relax. It was as if every nerve in my body was inflamed, and a minuscule shift between us sparked a tug of delicious tension I immediately sought more of.

Cam, however, held still against me, breathing heavily as though he was attempting to gain a little control. My body wasn’t for it. I wanted more and I wanted more now. I pushed my hips against him and his grip on my thighs became almost bruising. ‘Wait,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Give me a minute. I’ve wanted this for ages and you feel bloody amazing. Just give me a minute.’ As I heard this erotic confession, my inner muscles clamped around his cock and
he inhaled sharply. His head drew back in surprise as his eyes collided with mine. ‘Baby, do that again and I’m not going to last.’