DoubleDown V (13 page)

“Oh, sorry. Kids can be cruel.”

“Yeah, but it didn’t really get to me then. Okay, that’s not entirely true. It hurt, but having Brittany there really helped a lot. When we became seniors, the prospect of being separated frightened us both. So we made a pact to go to the same college. Even arranged to be roommates.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“Brittany...she just isn’t the same girl I grew up with. I mean, it started at the beginning of summer. She was determined to transform herself. Diet, hair color, fake tan, new wardrobe. She had this idea that she could make herself into someone entirely different for college.”

“Well, I doubt she’s the first person to ever have that idea.”

“I know, but it isn’t just her looks. She changed the music she listens to, the shows she watches, the way she talks. And the way she looks at me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, it’s like all I am now is a reminder of what she used to be, what she never wants to be again. So now I’m completely alone.”

Bobby smiled. “You’re not the only freak on campus.”

“You don’t seem like a freak to me.”

“You just don’t know me very well yet.”

“We should change that.”

“I think I’d like that.”

“Want to go to that Coffee Underground place I was telling you about sometime?”

Bobby abruptly stood. “I, um, I don’t do real well with crowds.”

“Oh, well, that’s fine, we could just hang out in my room maybe.”

“Sure, that’d probably be okay.”

“Well, why don’t I give you my number. You can call or text me sometime.”

“That’s okay, I’m sure we’ll run into each other again.”

And with that, he scurried away, leaving Karen confused and dejected. She’d thought their conversation had been going well, they’d been bonding and sharing (although looking back, she’d done almost all the talking), and then he’d freaked out when she’d suggested they get together.

Perhaps he’d thought she was asking him on a date, and he might not be looking for anything like that. Not that she’d meant it that way.

Or did I?

Either way, she had a pretty clear indication of how Bobby felt about the situation. Probably for the best anyway. He was cute but obviously had some issues.

Karen picked up the Bradbury and tried to get back into the story, but her concentration was shot, and after a few minutes, she packed up her stuff and headed back to the dorm.

*  *   *

When Karen walked into her dorm room, she froze halfway over the threshold. Brittany was on her bed with some dark-haired, muscular guy. They were kissing and groping and moaning like they were auditioning for a porno. They were still clothed, but the guy had his hand underneath Brittany’s shirt.

They seemed unaware that they were no longer alone, and Karen wondered if she should just back out and close the door behind her. But no, damn it, this was her room, too. She cleared her throat and shut the door, walking to her side of the room.

“Oh, hey, Karen,” Brittany said with a giggle, sitting up on the edge of the bed and straightening her blouse. “I didn’t expect you back so soon.”

“So I gather.”

Brittany’s wrestling partner started to rise, thought better of it, and sat back. He just raised a hand in Karen’s direction. “Hi, I’m Derek.”

“Ah, World Civ Derek.”

“That would be me. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, I’m sure.”

“Derek, hon,” Brittany said, rubbing on his leg, “why don’t you run on to the dining hall. I’m going to freshen up, then I’ll meet you there.”

“Sure thing. Can you hand me my backpack?”

Holding his pack in front of him, Derek smiled at Karen then left the room.

Karen sat at her desk, pulling out her Psych book. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s okay, later we’ll pick up where we left off.”

Karen glanced at Brittany, who was primping in front of the full-length mirror on the closet door. “You seem all giddy, and you’ve been seeing this Derek guy for...what? A week now? That’s a record, isn’t it?”

“Derek is absolutely the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. I think he might be the one.”

Karen raised an eyebrow. “The one?”

“Well, not the
one
. I’m not talking marriage and fat little babies, but I don’t feel the need to see anyone else right now.”

“So Brittany’s becoming a one-man woman, huh?”

“For the time being. Now if we could just get you out of the mutant club, maybe we could score you a date. I mean, seriously, look at you. You look like you let my grandma dress you.”

Karen turned her back on her friend, staring down at her textbook but not really seeing it. “You just can’t let any opportunity pass to shit on me, can you? You’ve become as bad as all those assholes that used to make fun of us in high school.”

“Karen, I’m trying to help you,” Brittany said, her voice softening. She almost sounded like her old self, the girl who had confided her deepest secrets and fears to Karen in the wee hours of the morning during sleepovers. “We’re not the Bow-Wow Twins anymore. That’s all in the past. We can put it behind us and move on to new things, better things.”

“You mean if I play my cards right, before long I too can be getting felt up by some random guy.”

“Derek isn’t just some ‘random guy.’”

“Oh yes, of course, he’s
the one
…for the time being, at least. How could I forget?”

Karen could feel Brittany’s glare and the anger coming off her like radiation. She risked a glance over her shoulder; she imagined the expression on Brittany’s face was what Thomas Alexander saw just before the knife slid in.

“Fine, you want to be a friendless loser the rest of your life, be my guest. Some people just can’t be helped. You’ll probably still be a virgin when you graduate.”

“Well, excuse me for not judging my worth by whether or not I’ve gone to bed with a guy.”

“Forget that, you’ve never even been
kissed
.”

“For your information, it just so happens I met a guy recently.”

Brittany put her hands on her hips and cocked her head to one side, her trademark sceptical stance. “Oh really?”

“Yes, I met him at the library last week, and then we hung out today by the lake.”

“Would this be one of the queens from the theater department?”

“No,” Karen said, her voice strident. “He’s a nice, handsome guy.”

“Mm-hmm, live on campus?”

“No, he’s a local.”

“You got his number.”

“Well...no.”

“But he has yours?”

Karen turned back to her book, her face burning. She didn’t bother to answer.

“So do you guys have a date planned or anything?”

Karen remained silent.

“Yeah, sounds like a torrid affair you got going on.”

“Just leave...please,” Karen said through gritted teeth, trying to keep hold of her temper lest it burst forth like a pit bull breaking its leash.

Karen waited until she heard the door slam, then she squeezed her eyes shut and placed her palms flat on the desktop. She could feel the entire desk shaking beneath her hands and heard her pens, books, and photos rattling. The desk actually rose a few inches, but she took a few deep breaths, willing herself to be calm. After a moment, the desk returned to the floor with a thud and she heard glass shattering.

Opening her eyes, Karen found her desk in disarray, but the only thing that had actually fallen was a framed photo of her and Brittany when they were ten, dressed as Power Puff Girls for Halloween. Karen gathered the broken glass and dropped it in the wastebasket, then stared at the faded picture, a hollowness spreading inside, before putting it into a desk drawer.

As she straightened her desk, Karen mused about the close call she’d just had. If Brittany hadn’t left when she did...well, Karen didn’t know if she’d have been able to contain herself much longer. Still, she was getting better at controlling this freaky talent of hers. She tried to get back to her studying, but she just couldn’t concentrate. Her mind kept drifting from her confrontation with Brittany to her strange meeting with Bobby. “Screw it,” she said after reading the same passage in her Psych book three times and still not understanding it.

She pulled out her laptop and stretched out on the bed, going online to check her email and Facebook. While she was logged on to Facebook, she decided to do a quick search for Bobby. She typed in his name but only got one result, a woman from Oregon. She thought everyone was on Facebook these days, but apparently not Bobby. Unless he was on there under some assumed name.

Frustrated and restless, Karen opened a blank Word document and started writing a new poem.

“Sitting down on the job?”

Karen started and turned quickly in her chair. She was sitting at a table in the corner of the library’s second floor. She had thought she had the place pretty much to herself. And apparently she hadn’t even heard Bobby approaching.

“What? Oh, I’m not working this afternoon, just studying.”

Bobby hovered next to the table, not taking a seat but seemingly in no hurry to move on. “So long time, no see, huh?”

“Four days,” Karen said then chastised herself for letting on that she’d been keeping track.

Silence settled in between them, and Karen was just about to tell Bobby it was good seeing him but she had work to do when he said, “I’m really sorry.”

“What for?”

“You know, the way I acted the last time we saw each other. Running off like that.”

“Well, I’m sure you had your reasons.”

“It’s just...as you may have been able to tell, I’m not very good with people. I don’t have a lot of experience. I’ve been a loner for a good long while. The prospect of actually making a friend...well, it kind of freaked me out a little.”

Karen tried to hang on to her offense. But how hypocritical would it be of her to judge him for his social inadequacies when she had a whole list of her own?

“It’s okay,” she said with a smile. “I understand. If you don’t want to hang out—”

“I do. I mean, like I said, I’m not much one for crowds, but I’d love to just spend some time talking, getting to know each other. If you’re still cool with that, that is.”

“Sure. Tell you what, my roommate is going out with her boyfriend tonight, probably won’t be back until late. Want to come by my dorm, talk, watch a movie...whatever you want.”

“That sounds lovely.”

“Great, I’ll just give you my number and—”

“No. I mean, thing is...I don’t have one of those cellular telephones.”

Karen frowned, as much from his use of the full term “cellular telephones” as from the fact that he didn’t have one.

“You think I’m a freak now, huh?” Bobby said, chewing on his lip, something Karen was coming to recognize as a nervous habit of his.

“Of course not. It is a bit unusual. I thought everyone had cell phones these days.”

“My mom’s a little...peculiar. I don’t even have a computer.”

“Wow, how do you get through school without a computer?”

“Uh, the lab.”

Karen smiled and nodded, but she thought she understood more about why Bobby was socially awkward. “Well, I’m in Poteat dorm. Do you know where that is?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll meet you out front at around seven. Sound good?”

“I’ll be there.”

Another bout of silence. They seemed to have a lot of those. Karen hoped their evening wouldn’t consist of a few exchanges here and there to punctuate a vast and empty void of silence.

“You know, you can have a seat,” Karen said with a laugh.

“That’s okay, I actually need to be going. But I’ll be there at seven, promise.”

Bobby walked toward the stairs. Karen sat for a few moments, trying to analyze the warring emotions she felt. There was excitement, yes, but also fear and panic. She wished she could talk to Brittany about this, the way she used to be able to talk to Brittany about everything, but she feared any conversation she tried to have with her roommate would just result in suggestions of more makeup, shorter skirts, and push-up bras. It was hell when your only friend was also your biggest detractor.

Unless....

Packing up her books, Karen threw her bag over her shoulder and headed downstairs. When she’d arrived earlier, Penelope had been working the desk, but now it was Robin, the assistant librarian. “Is Penelope around?”

“Just missed her. She left early, doctor’s appointment or something.”

“Oh,” Karen said and started to turn away.

“She left this for you.”

Karen turned back. “What?”