Double Take (21 page)

Anna looked out her window to see English homes, trees, and green grass. She realized the city was behind her—as was her anger. Anna had been angry for a long time. At first she thought she’d been angry at the leaders in her settlement, then at her parents, and most recently at herself. Now she realized the only anger left in her—and it wasn’t much—was toward Jacob.

It had been wrong for Jacob to leave her like that, telling her that he loved her, that they would be together again. And then nothing. That had been selfish.

Suddenly, as if the sun had risen and illuminated the darkness, Anna realized that Madison was right. If Anna hadn’t gone to the trouble of hunting that boy down, she could have ended up miserable for her entire life. As it was, perhaps her misery would end someday. In fact, it was ending right now! This really was a new beginning for her.

Finally, as the bus moved through farmlands that looked so much like home that Anna felt a lump in her throat, she was able to pray. She was able to thank God for what he had done with her life during the past week. No, it had not been easy. But it had been good. She could see that now. It had been very good.

As the bus got closer to her stop, Anna began to think about her aunt Rachel and some of the things Madison had been saying about her. For some mysterious reason, Madison had really taken to Rachel. This was truly puzzling. How was it possible that someone like Madison—a girl who by all appearances was spoiled, pampered, rich, decadent, shallow—could relate to someone like Anna’s aunt? It made no sense. Yet it also made Anna curious.

She knew Aunt Rachel’s life was not easy. Uncle Daniel was so much older and set in his ways. Aunt Rachel had grown up as the baby in her family and in a much less restricted community, and suddenly she was married and thrust into a new place where her neighbors turned against her. Plus she had her hands full with the children. Was it any wonder that she grew weary?

As the bus stopped in the small town, Anna’s heart pounded with excitement and anticipation. As she got off, she realized again that she had changed. She was not the same girl who’d boarded this bus last week.

Madison felt a nudge on her shoulder, then opened her eyes to see Rachel, still in her long white nightgown, with a candle in hand. Madison sat up quickly. “What’s—”

“Shush,” Rachel whispered. “Time to rise.”

Now Madison remembered—this was the day to exchange lives back with Anna. “
Denki,
” she told Rachel as she slid out of bed and stood. Rachel handed her the candle, then kissed her on the cheek.

“God’s blessings on you,” Rachel quietly told her.

“And on you,” Madison whispered.

Rachel left the bedroom and Madison hurried to gather her things—rather, Anna’s things—taking them to the bathroom to get dressed by candlelight. She chuckled to remember how long it usually took her to get ready for the day—all the steps of showering, shampooing, drying and styling her hair, putting on makeup, choosing the perfect outfit. It all seemed such a waste of time now. Would she ever want to do all that again? Maybe she would just simplify the process.

She twisted her hair into a bun, pinned it, and put on Anna’s cap. She carried the shoes and the candle downstairs and paused in the living room, looking around, taking it all in, then continued to the kitchen where she sat down and put on her shoes—Anna’s shoes. She wouldn’t miss those shoes. Oh, they were comfortable enough, but so ugly. Madison would be glad to get her own shoes back.

As she was about to go out the door, Madison noticed a brown paper bag on the wooden kitchen table, with the name Anna penciled on it. She peeked inside to see some pieces of bread and butter and some dried fruit. Breakfast on the road.

By the dawn’s gray light, she could see a black buggy out front. Unlike Daniel’s buggy, which had an enclosed space in the back, this one was open. Malachi was bent down, doing something with the horse’s reins.

Bracing herself, Madison went out and walked toward him. This wasn’t going to be an easy ride. But she was determined to do what she could to smooth this thing over.

“Good morning, Malachi,” she called out.

He stood up slowly, looking at her with a dark expression. “Good morning.”

“I want to talk to you,” she told him after she was seated next to him. He shrugged, shook the reins, and the horse began to move.

“I know you’re angry with me,” she began. “You have every right to be angry. You said that I tricked you, and I denied it. The truth is I did trick you, but I didn’t really mean to do it.”

“If I wasn’t watching where I was going and I ran this wagon over a small child,” he said, “would it make the child feel better when I told him I didn’t mean to do it?”

“Maybe not.” She sighed. “I really did not mean to hurt you, Malachi.”

“Then why did you smile at me? Why did you look at me that way? Why did you cast your line and reel me in? You knew you weren’t Anna. You knew you would go.”

“You’re right,” she admitted. “The truth is I found you very attractive. You caught me by surprise that day we met, and I was swept up in the moment.”

He glanced her way, then put his eyes back on the dirt road.

“You know how it is in the English world,” she reminded him. “You’ve lived there too. Guys and girls act differently. I was still in an Englisher state of mind when I met you and was acting very much like an Englisher girl. I was flirting with you, Malachi. I can admit that.”

“That’s right.” He nodded. “You were flirting with me.”

“You were flirting with me too.”

A very small smile touched the corner of his mouth. “But my flirting was genuine. I knew who I was, and I thought I knew who you were. I didn’t know you were playing a game with me.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I briefly wondered what it would be like to abandon my old life and actually become Amish and stay here.”

He turned and peered curiously at her. “Is that the truth?”

She nodded. “It is true. It didn’t take long before I figured things out. I knew that was not going to happen.”

“Yet you led me on?”

“Think about it, Malachi. How much time did we really spend together?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Less than two hours, not counting now.”

“But I thought about you every day, and every night too. Almost every waking minute, you were on my mind, Anna.” He cleared his throat. “I mean Madison.”

“But can’t you see you were thinking about who you
thought
I was?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you didn’t really know me, Malachi. You only knew who you assumed I was, the person I was pretending to be. You were falling for an illusion.”

“Maybe.”

“Where I come from, that’s called a crush.”

“I know what a crush is.”

“A crush is not something you build your life around, Malachi.”

He stuck his chin out and shook the reins, causing the horse to move faster.

“Now that that’s out of the way, I have something important to tell you.”

He turned and glanced at her again.

“You will be driving the real Anna back here, right?”

He nodded with eyes forward.

“Even though Anna and I look alike and—”

“You and Anna look alike?” He seemed surprised by this.

“Don’t you remember I told you that when I confessed I wasn’t Anna?”

He frowned. “I was so mad . . . my brain might not have been working too well.”

She chuckled. “I know how that is. Well, anyway, yes, Anna and I could pass for twins. That’s why this whole switch seemed to make sense at the time. But even though Anna looks like me, she is very different.”

“How so?”

“For one thing, she’s just suffered getting her heart broken.”

He nodded as if he could relate.

“She’s feeling confused about a lot of things. And she doesn’t get along that well with Rachel. I just think she could use a good friend. That’s all I’m saying.”

“And you think I’d make a good friend?”

“I know you would, Malachi.”

Madison told him about how Anna was trying to find Jacob and how it hadn’t turned out the way she’d hoped.

“Was Anna going to stay there if Jacob had asked her?” Malachi asked.

“I don’t know for sure. That’s something you’d have to ask her.”

As he turned onto the main road, Madison began to tell him that she felt like she had discovered God here. She explained how it felt to be in nature, how she had started to pray, and how she planned to continue to do so when she returned to the city.

“I thought I was connecting to God too,” he admitted.

“You thought you were? Meaning you’re not now?”

“I don’t know. I still feel confused. I’m still thinking about getting baptized. I don’t think I can go back to the English lifestyle.” He began telling her about how much he loved making furniture, how good it felt to take a piece of wood and work it until it turned into something useful. His uncle was a fine craftsman and felt Malachi had good potential.

“You’re not into farming?”

He chuckled. “I only help Uncle Daniel because my uncles had an agreement when it was decided I should come here. I think Uncle Daniel would prefer someone else working his fields. My heart is not in it.”

Madison shared her brown bag breakfast with Malachi as they continued talking. They were just coming into town when she realized she was sad that this relationship was ending. In some ways, Malachi was an even better person than she’d imagined—as good on the inside as he was on the outside. Yet their lives were worlds apart.

“Will you be glad to go home?” he asked as he turned onto a side street to park the buggy.

She looked around to see cars and people dressed the way she remembered, and the familiarity was comforting. “Yes, there are definitely a lot of things I missed about modern life.”

“Not me.” He firmly shook his head. “I don’t miss it at all. I don’t think I’m ever going back.”

“I know there are things I’ll miss about the Amish lifestyle,” she admitted as he helped her down from the buggy. “I hope I can take some of the things I learned with me—like how to live more simply, to slow down.”

“You think you can get the best of both worlds?” His expression was doubtful.

“I hope I can.”

“Good luck with that.” He smiled in a knowing way, then pointed down the street. “Uncle Daniel asked me to pick up a package for him. And Aunt Rachel had some errands for me to do.”

“Why don’t you just meet up with us at the coffee shop when you’re done?”

“All right.” He dipped his head, then went on his way.

As Madison walked toward the coffee shop, she felt an unexpected rush of regret and reluctance. If she could have done this whole thing differently, would she? If she could wave a magic wand that would make her family and friends all understand and accept it, would she become Amish for good?

Just then she saw herself—rather, she saw Anna dressed in her clothes and walking down the sidewalk toward her—and Madison realized she did want to go back to her old life. She did miss it.

She wanted to run toward Anna, to hug her and exclaim how good it was to see her, but she knew that would draw attention. Instead she continued walking, and together they went into the coffee shop and discreetly headed back to the restroom. They both went in, and Madison locked the door behind them.

“Wow.” Madison stared at Anna. “This is so weird. You look more like me than I do.”

Anna giggled. “I know what you mean.”

“Ready to switch back?”

Anna nodded. “Let’s do this.”

Madison turned her back and started to undress. After she handed the dress back to Anna, she realized her mistake. “Oh, Anna,” she said. “I totally forgot to bring my own underwear.”

“Oh, well, I guess you can just wear mine home.” Anna handed Madison her shirt.

“I’m sorry.”

Anna giggled. “Where did you leave them?”

“Under the mattress.”

“It’s good that Rachel does not clean too deeply.” Anna handed over the jeans. “She will not find them.”

Madison frowned as she put on her own jeans, surprised at how confining they felt as she zipped them up. They pinched at her waist as she bent to pull on the boots.

“Sorry.” Anna looked contrite as they both stood before the mirror, making the appropriate adjustments to their hair and faces. “I didn’t mean to sound like that,” she said. “I want to be more positive about my aunt.”

“That would be nice.” Madison was digging through her purse, making sure her keys were there, and even pausing to put on some lip gloss and mascara. Maybe old habits really did die hard.

“Still, it’s good Rachel won’t find your Englisher girl underthings in my bed. I would have some explaining to do.”

“Rachel already knows.”

Anna stopped pinning her hair. “Rachel
knows
? You mean she knows about us—about the switch?”

“Yes. She figured it out after the baby was born. I meant to tell you, but we were talking so much and you were telling me about Jacob, and I guess I forgot.”

“Oh no.” Anna shook her head. “This is not good.”

“No, Rachel is okay with it.” Madison fluffed her hair, surprised at how much body it had after being pinned up so much. Still, she looked different. She knew it.

Anna looked stunned. “Rachel knows that I sent a stranger into her home, to be with her and her children, to sleep in her bed, and she is okay with that?”

Madison nodded as she slipped on her watch and bracelet, then closed her purse.

“What about Uncle Daniel? Surely he is not okay with it?”

“He doesn’t know. Rachel said it’s our secret.”

“You are sure about that?” Anna looked skeptical.

“Positive.” Madison reached over to help with Anna’s hair. “You will not believe this, Anna.”

“What?”

“Rachel named her baby after me.”

Anna blinked. “She named her baby Madison?”

Madison giggled and nodded.

“Uncle Daniel said that was all right?”

Madison shrugged. “She said he’d named the others and it was her turn.”

“Aunt Rachel must really like you.”

“I like her too, Anna. She is a truly good person.”

Anna just shook her head.

“The baby is so sweet. You will love her.” Madison sighed. “All of Rachel’s children are very sweet.”

Anna looked unconvinced.

“Elizabeth is a darling. And guess what—I made her a dress.”

“You made a dress?” Anna looked stunned. “You know how to sew?”

“Barely. It wasn’t easy. It still needs to be hemmed.”

“I can do that.”

“Denki.”
Madison stared at their reflections in the mirror—totally changed and yet totally the same. It was weird.

“Are you ready?” Anna asked. “Is everything in place?”

“Yes.” Madison nodded. “We’re all put back together.”

Anna used a wet paper towel to wipe a spot of mascara from her cheek, then sighed. “It’s such a relief not to be you anymore.”

Madison laughed. “Same back at you.” Although, even as she said this, Madison wondered if it was completely true. She wondered if she would someday look back and regret that she wasn’t born into Anna’s family.