“No. I’ll be all right.”
That’s the third time I’ve said that
, she thought crazily. “Go find someone and dance, Lute. You always liked to dance.”
Richy Valens was on the stage singing his hit song, “Donna.” Nelda turned from Lute and pretended to be interested in the song.
“Nelda. Look at me. What’s the matter?” Lute asked quietly breaking into her thoughts.
She wanted to scream,
What do you think is the matter? I’m pregnant by a man who doesn’t want me, I’m leaving the home I have come to love. I’ve got a perfect right to feel miserable.
“You shouldn’t have come.”
“Try telling that to Rhetta once she’s made up her mind.”
“You could have told me.” His soft, concerned voice threatened what remained of her self-control.
She clenched her hands so tightly the nails bit into the palms, but she felt no pain. Every particle of sensation was concentrated on keeping the tears from her eyes. She knew people were looking at her
and Lute, and the few who knew that they were once married were wondering if they were getting back together.
Will this evening never end?
The music stopped. Rhetta and Gary, flushed from dancing, came back to the booth.
“Why aren’t you two dancing?”
“Nelda doesn’t feel well. She shouldn’t have come.” Lute stood and reached out a hand as if to pull Nelda to her feet.
“You can dance with my wife, Lute. I’ll put it on your next bill. I’ll sit with Nelda.” Gary sat in the place Lute had vacated.
Rhetta took Lute’s arm, and he reluctantly moved away. Nelda watched them until they were lost in the crowd of dancers.
“I hate to desert you, Gary, but I think I’ll make a trip to the ladies’ room.” Nelda got unsteadily to her feet.
“It’s a bloody shame you’re under the weather, love. Is there anything I can do?”
“I’ll be fine. Guard the booth. There’s a packed crowd here tonight. I’ll take a couple of aspirin.”
Without any conscious notion of what she was going to do, Nelda hurried around the throng of dancers and headed toward the lobby. Did this town have a taxi? She couldn’t remember seeing one. She’d get her coat and boots and at least get out the door while Lute was dancing with Rhetta.
“There you are.” A cheery voice interrupted her flight. “I thought I might find you here when you weren’t at home.”
Nelda jerked to a stop. Norris stood grinning at her. Her relief was more than she could bear, and the tears started running down her cheeks. She clutched his arm.
“Help me get out of here!” Her voice cracked with the effort to say the words.
The smile abruptly left Norris’s face. “Sure, honey. Where’s your coat?”
“Checked.”
“Come point it out.”
Almost frantic in her haste, she found her coat and boots and stood by while Norris finagled their release without the check.
A few minutes later they were in Norris’s car, and she was sobbing helplessly.
“I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there. I was going to get my coat and try to find someone to take me home. I had to get out of there. I was crazy to come in the first place, but Rhetta was so insistent. I thought it would be easier to come than to make excuses.”
“I called the house; and when there was no answer, I figured Rhetta had dragged you to this thing.” Norris pushed a handkerchief into her groping fingers. “I didn’t dare call Marlene tonight without being able to give a report on how you’re doing.”
“Rhetta sent Lute to get me.” Nelda was completely absorbed in her misery. “I was out of my mind to get myself into this situation.”
“Does Rhetta know you’re leaving?”
“No, she was dancing with Lute.”
“We’ll stop up here at the drugstore. I’ll call and have her paged.”
Nelda waited for Norris to make the call. He had left the motor running so she would keep warm.
“Rhetta was not pleased, to say the least.” Norris slid in under the wheel and they moved away from the uptown area. “Lute will be furious. I know I would be if someone ran off with my date.”
“He won’t mind. He was a victim of Rhetta’s manipulation, too. I’m sure he’ll have a better time without me there.”
“I hate to take you home and leave you alone.” Norris eased the car off the highway and onto the snow-packed gravel road. “But I’ve got a plane waiting at the airport. I just stopped over to get some material I need for a meeting tomorrow.”
“Will you see Marlene tomorrow?”
“Yes. Do you want to come along?”
“I can’t. I’m driving up to the Cities the day after tomorrow. I’ve been sorting and packing up what I want sent to me. The battery in my car is down, I’ve got to do something about that first.”
“Call the uptown Shell station. Herb will send Eddie out with a new battery.”
Kelly was waiting for them beside the kitchen door. He stretched lazily, and Nelda felt a wave of relief to be back within the safety of the farmhouse. She smiled at Norris, not caring that her mascara and her lipstick were smeared from her bout of tears.
“You and Marlene are so lucky to have each other. Why do you hide the real you behind that playboy image?”
“It’s easier to be what people expect you to be than what you are. If you’re rich and unmarried and flit around the country—even if your trips are business related—you get the reputation of being a pleasure seeker. I know what I am, the woman I love knows what I am, so to hell with what everyone else thinks.”
“Can I ask one more favor, Norris?”
“Of course you can, Chicken Little. Anything.”
“After I leave here, will you arrange to have my things sent to me? Mr. Hutchinson has a key. I don’t want anyone to know I’m in the Twin Cities. It’s very important to me to lose myself for a while.”
“Are you sure you want to do this, honey? Lute’s a hell of a nice fellow, although he’s had a personality change since you’ve been here. I’m sure he still loves you. Don’t you think he’s entitled to know you’re having his child?”
“No. He mustn’t know. It isn’t a question of whether or not he’s entitled to know. He has made it perfectly clear that I don’t fit into his lifestyle. If I don’t fit, our baby won’t fit. It’s that simple. After I’m gone, he’ll marry one of his native lady friends and forget about me as I’ll forget about him.” Tears filled her eyes and she blinked rapidly.
“You love him desperately, don’t you, Chicken Little?” Norris rubbed his knuckles across her cheek. “We’ll play it the way you want it, but if you change your mind, he’ll not be far away.”
“I won’t change my mind. He was forced to marry me once before because I was pregnant, and I’m sure he’d do it again. You’re wrong, Norris, about
his feelings for me. He never made any attempt to get in touch with me during the years we were apart. He thinks I’m dedicated to my career and completely unsuitable for his kind of life. He’s old-fashioned where women are concerned. He’d never allow his wife an interest outside the farm, and I’m not sure I’d be able to handle that.”
“He’s a fool,” Norris snorted. “But then, that’s his problem.”
“Tell Marlene that I’ll call her as soon as I get there the day after tomorrow. I’ve talked to the building manager and explained about Kelly. He’s allowing me to keep him at the apartment on a trial basis.”
“If it doesn’t work out, we’ll find a kennel close by.”
“Take Marlene this kiss.” She planted a gentle kiss on Norris’s cheek.
“That was prudish! Can’t you do better than that?”
“Knock it off!” Nelda poked at his chest with her index finger. “You forget that I’m one of the privileged few who know the real you.”
“Take care, honey. See you in a few days.”
Nelda stood beside the kitchen window and waved as Norris drove out of the yard. He answered with a toot of the horn.
• • •
Nelda slipped out of her clothes, stood before the long mirror in her bedroom and studied her naked body. She was not happy with what she saw. Her arms and legs were thinner, and her collarbone protruded prominently. She had hard, dark shadows
beneath her eyes, her cheekbones stood out as if she was half-starved. Grimacing in distaste she turned away. She reminded herself of pictures she had seen of hungry children with bloated stomachs and large, hopeless eyes.
You’ve got to eat more
, she chided herself sternly.
This can’t be good for the baby
.
After a long warm bath, she fixed herself a cup of hot chocolate and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and carried it upstairs to the bedroom. The aftermath of her ordeal had left her exhausted.
When the harsh ringing of the telephone broke the stillness, her heart skipped a beat. She glanced at the clock. It was a half hour after midnight. The dance would be over. Maybe it was Rhetta wanting to know if she was all right.
It was Rhetta. “Nelda? I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be. I’ll be all right. I must apologize for running off like that, but I didn’t want to throw up in the booth and spoil the party. Did you have a good time?”
“Gary and I had a great time. I don’t know what Lute did. He disappeared after you left. He wasn’t too happy about you going off with Norris.”
“I don’t know why he should object. He wasn’t my date. He merely gave me a ride to your place.”
“I’ll let you go. I had to know if you were still breathing. Gosh, but my feet hurt. I’m getting too old for this rock and roll business. See you later.”
“’Bye, Rhetta.”
Wide-awake, Nelda took her knitting upstairs. She had completed one set of booties and was knitting what they called in the pattern book a “
hug-me-tight.” She would have called it a light sweater. She was using white yarn so it would be suitable for a boy or a girl.
She became so absorbed in her knitting that she didn’t realize how late it was until a car came down the lane and Kelly raced downstairs to bark at the kitchen door. It was after two in the morning. When Norris left, it had been snowing. It was still snowing when Rhetta called.
Who would be coming at this time of night? By the time she had put on her robe and slipped her feet into her slippers, someone was banging on the door. It was someone Kelly knew. She could tell by the sounds he was making.
She switched on the kitchen light and saw Lute’s face at the kitchen door. Now what did he want? Her eyes quickly scanned the room for signs of the baby. Thank heavens she’d packed the books, and the knitting was up in the bedroom; there was nothing visible to give away her secret.
“Are you all right?” he asked the second she opened the door. There was exasperation in his voice. “As I passed I saw your lights on.” He moved into the kitchen and closed the door.
“Of course I’m all right. I’ve been . . . reading.”
“Why did you leave like that? I offered to take you home. Did you know
he
was coming and wait for him?”
“I didn’t know
he
was going to be there, but if I did, it’s no business of yours. I wasn’t your date. Rhetta shoved me off on you. You know it, and I know it. Now if you don’t mind, I’m tired.”
“Have you seen a doctor? You don’t look well.”
“It’s kind of you to keep reminding me of that.” Her voice had regained a crisp decisiveness. “We both know that I’m not a big, healthy, robust farm girl, Lute.”
“Every time I see you, you get bitchier.”
“Please notice that I haven’t been seeking you out.”
“You did one time.”
“I needed your help and got insulted for it. What are you doing out so late? Rolling up the sidewalks of your perfect little town?”
“No. I went with the sheriff’s deputy out to the site of a plane crash north of town.” He spoke so matter-of-factly that at first the words failed to register.
Oh, my God. He’s come to tell me that Norris
—
“Three of the entertainers who were at the Surf tonight were killed, along with a good friend of mine who was the pilot of the plane.”
“Oh, my. I’m sorry to hear that. Who was killed?”
“Holly, Valens, and Richardson, the guy they called the Big Bopper. I didn’t know them, but I’ve known Roger Peterson all my life. He was a damn good pilot.”
“That is so . . . awful. They seemed so young and . . . full of life. What happened?”
“They don’t know yet. It was probably weather-related.”
“I’m sorry about your friend.”
“So am I. I’ll go out and see his folks
tomorrow. Would you like for me to let Kelly out? He’s dancing around.”
“Put him on his rope. I’ll let him back in.”
She waited to hear Lute’s car start. But it didn’t. She looked out the door pane to see him standing on the porch steps waiting to let Kelly back in.
When the door opened, both Kelly and Lute came in. He came directly to her and gripped her shoulders. The expression on his face was almost one of desperation. He pulled her to him and roughly kissed her lips.