Dorothy Garlock (17 page)

“Are you all right, Ma?” Eli asked evenly as he leaned against the wooden frame, his arms folded across his broad chest. Hallie couldn’t be certain, but when he glanced her way, she saw mischief dancing in his eyes. His gaze lingered on her, and Hallie was certain she was blushing. She wondered what he would think if he knew that his mother thought she was trying to kill her.

He wouldn’t believe it, would he?

“Doc left some laudanum,” he continued, staring coolly at the woman who had given birth to him. “He said that if you got to hurting too bad, we can give you some.”

“I don’t need any of his damn medicine,” Mrs. Morgan shot back defensively, obviously not as happy to see her son as Hallie was. “I’m perfectly fine, I tell you! I am perfectly capable of caring for myself. I don’t need any help, especially not from such trash!”

“You should be glad Hallie is willing to take care of you,” Eli replied calmly.

“You must be touched in the head. They’ll eat us out of house and home and I’ll get damn little care from either one of them! They can’t even cook,” she snorted.

“The meal I had was as fine as any I’ve had in a long time,” Eli offered in Hallie’s defense.

“I’m sorry you didn’t like the soup, Mrs. Morgan. Is there something else you would prefer?” Hallie interjected. Her heart leaped at Eli’s praise, even if she wasn’t sure if he meant it or if he was just trying to placate his mother.

“What I’d prefer is for you to leave me, leave this house, and leave the whole damn state of Colorado!”

“My preference entirely.” Eli smiled, took Hallie gently by the elbow, and led her from the room, shutting the door behind them. Even from behind the wooden door, Mrs. Morgan’s rantings continued to hammer like hail.

Out on the long porch, Hallie marveled at the night sky. The moon hung low, bright and fat on the horizon, so large that she felt she could reach out and touch it with her fingers. There were no clouds in the sky, the night as clear as the day that had come before. Thousands of stars filled the inky blackness above, sparkling like jewels and seemingly twice as precious.

Eli’s boots echoed across the wooden planks of the porch until he came to a halt beside her. Resting one hand on the railing, he ran the other through his thick black hair as he followed her gaze skyward. “Nowhere in the world is the night sky as beautiful as it is in Colorado.”

“It is lovely,” she agreed.

Hallie was surprised by just how comfortable she felt around this man. He was almost a stranger, yet she felt she had known him all her life. She was struck by a sudden urge to confide in him—to tell him about Chester, the gunshot and their mad dash to freedom—but she didn’t want to burden him with her troubles, certainly not in the face of his mother’s accident. Instead she waited for him to speak, happy to gaze at the sky beside him.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

“No, I’m just fine, thank you.”

Even with the summer sun having set hours earlier, the night still managed to retain some of the day’s warmth. A gentle breeze blew here and there. The only sound that Hallie could hear was the soft rustle of the cattle moving in the pens and the pounding of her own heart.

“I’m awfully glad you’re here, Hallie, and not just to help take care of my mother. I’m sorry you have to listen to all of her hurtful words.”

“I’m afraid I’ve heard far worse.” She smiled.

“I’d hate to think that’s true. With her salty tongue, my mother could hold her own with the roughest of trail drivers,” he said with a chuckle. Even as he tried to laugh, Hallie could sense that the subject was difficult for him, even a little embarrassing.

“She carries on, bossing everyone around as if this was a palace and she was the queen,” he continued. “It’s always been this way, but not to this extent. My father was very patient with her. It must be hard for someone outside the family to hear . . . It always has been for me, but I guess I got used to it. Even on her best days, she can be as stubborn as any mule. I can only imagine how she’ll be after four or five more days cooped up in bed.”

“It’s all right,” Hallie said quickly.

“Don’t lie now,” he chided her.

“I’m not!”

“Hell, yes you are!” He laughed. “Remember, she’s
my
mother.”

Hallie couldn’t help but join his laughter, even if it was restrained. “Really, her mouth doesn’t bother me much. I guess that I’ve gotten used to it, too. After all that you’ve done for us—taking us into your home and allowing Mary to stay here—it truly does seem like the very least we can do is help with your mother.”

“I’m hoping that she’ll be up and around in a week or two.”

“I hope so, too.”

For a few moments, they stood in silence. As she looked up, entranced by the night, Hallie saw a star streak across the heavens, its trail brilliant one moment and then swallowed by the dark the next. It was a sight she had seen many times before, but tonight it was
different,
it was
special
. She turned quickly to Eli, but he was no longer standing beside her. He had turned and was sitting on the long wooden railing, shifting his gaze from the heavens and fixing it squarely on her. Even in the gloom of the evening, she could feel his eyes searching hers, racing over her skin, asking questions for which she had no answers. She felt as if she were back in the storm, held in check by a force greater than her will. Even if she had wanted to, she couldn’t look away.

“Some things are difficult for a man to hold on to,” he said simply.

“What?” she asked in confusion.

“Especially when it’s about his kin, his flesh and blood,” Eli kept right on.

“I don’t understand what—”

“Let me tell you, Hallie,” Eli said softly yet firmly, his voice holding her every bit as tightly as his eyes. “If you’re going to stay here at the ranch, if you’re going to care for my mother, there are some things you should know. There are things about the Morgan family,
secrets
that will make it easier for you to understand why my mother is the way she is.” He paused for a moment longer, as if he was uncertain how to continue, but he found his voice once again and added, “None of these things are going to be easy for me to say, but I
want you
to hear them.”

“All right”—she nodded—“but you don’t need to tell me anything.”

“I think I do. I want to.”

Waiting for Eli to speak, she was filled with both anticipation and dread.
What kind of secrets is he talking about?
She could tell that whatever they were, they hung heavily on his heart and that telling her was not an easy task.

“Four years ago, my brother Caleb was murdered.”

“Oh, Eli!” she gasped. His words were so strong, so powerful, that she had to fight the sudden urge to rush to him and put her arms around him.

“It happened around this time of year, on a night just about like this one—starry, clear, and the air still warm with summer,” he pressed on, looking up into the sky. With determination lining his face in the growing moonlight he told her about his brother’s death, his going into the army, and his parents’ disappointment. “After I left, sorrow was heaped upon sorrow when Abe became ill. He survived but was changed forever. All of this broke my father and made my mother bitter. If only . . . if only I hadn’t left . . .”

Hallie asked, “But why did you go?”

“Because I’m a stubborn ass,” he spat angrily. “It’s because I’m just like my mother in the end, just like the woman who shouts and bitches at every turn. I get my mind made up and that’s just the way it’s gonna be, no matter who I hurt in the process.”

“But that’s not the person that you are,” she said quietly, suddenly angry with him for berating himself. When he had begun to tell Caleb’s story, she’d been rooted in place, frozen like the moon in the sky, but now she felt full of emotion, her hands moving expressively as she spoke. “The person who rescued us and brought us to safety isn’t stubborn or selfish. If it weren’t for you, Mary would have drowned in that river! You saved a life.”

“One rescued for one taken don’t make it even.”

“What?” she asked incredulously. “What are you talking about?”

Eli sighed deeply. As reluctant as he had seemed to speak about his brother, the unspoken words now seemed to pain him. Hallie knew that
this
was what was truly causing him anguish.

“Tell me, Eli,” she prodded.

At her words, his eyes seemed to embrace her. She could see him steeling his courage, readying himself for something,
an admission
that hung heavy on his heart.

“It’s my father,” he said.

“What happened?” she asked, but felt a knot in the pit of her stomach.

“When I left here—left the ranch, Bison City, and all my old life—I had no intention of ever coming back,” he explained, his hands balled into tight fists. “Even when I got out of the army, I stayed on in Texas and began to build myself a new life, one that had nothing to do with ranches or cattle. I did my best to make my peace with all that had happened. But then I got a wire from Hank telling me that I should come back and, like a fool, I listened. When I arrived, I found that my father had died.”

Hallie was quiet. Her first thought was surprisingly of Adele Morgan. For a woman to lose both a husband and son was far more than she should ever have to bear. Her heart ached for Eli, but even though she wanted to comfort him, to soothe his hurt, the words she wanted to say did not come easy.

“My mother blamed me for what happened. She said that I was the one who killed him,” he continued, his voice cracking with emotion. “She said that he waited and waited for me to come to my senses and return to the ranch, but she claimed that he was a fool for waiting in vain for an ill-begotten son like me. My mother believes that it was my stubbornness, my selfish desire to stay away, that killed him.”

“But that’s not true! Your mother is wrong!”

“I don’t believe that it’s all my fault, but I’d have to be some sort of fool if I didn’t think some of it was true,” he answered, showing some of the stubborn streak he claimed to have. “Ever since I’ve been back here, I’ve done my all to avoid facing it, working hard at Hank’s side, helping keep the ranch going. I’ve never even been to my father’s grave, or my brother’s either for that matter, and I don’t know if I’ll ever have the stomach for it.”

“But you must go there!” Hallie insisted.

“I think I’ve given it—”

“Mark my words, Eli”—she cut him off—“if you don’t, you’ll always be filled with regret.”

“How do you reckon?” he asked, interested in what she had to say.

Cautiously, she stepped toward him, reached out, and took his hands gently in her own. His fingers and palms were rough and weatherworn, but she was pleasantly surprised to feel a strong warmth emanating from them. Squeezing his hands together in her own, she looked directly into his eyes.

“I left my home in much the same way that you left here,” she said as a breeze rustled her long hair. “My parents had a life chosen for me that I did not want and I rebelled. I left as quickly as I could, certain that I would never return. Two years after I left, I heard from an aunt that they had both died.”

“Hallie, I’m—” he began, but she hushed him.

“Now it’s your turn to be quiet.”

He nodded his head.

“Ever since then, all I’ve wanted is to stand before their graves and tell them that I loved them, that my leaving wasn’t about rejecting them but was about making a life of my own.” As she spoke, hot tears began to slide gently down her cheeks; she had no desire to stop them. “I wanted them to know of my life, to know of my successes and failures. If I could have even one minute to stand before their graves and speak to them, I’d take it in an instant.”

For a moment, Eli was silent. Then he gently removed one hand from her grasp and wiped at the tears staining her face. When he spoke, the heat of his breath against her face sent shivers down her spine.

“Maybe you’re right,” he said. “Maybe I should go to the cemetery.”

“I’ll come with you if you need me.”

“I wish you would.”

Hallie was about to speak, to tell him that she would do anything she could to help him ease his pain, when he leaned forward and brought his lips to hers. She was momentarily startled but soon melted into his arms, their kiss growing in intensity with each beat of her heart. She clung to him tightly as his mouth explored hers. When he broke the embrace, she smiled at him, happy that he still held her by the elbow for fear that she might fall, dizzy with the passion that washed over her.

“So tomorrow morning, then?” he finally asked.

“Tomorrow morning?” she echoed, uncertain as to his meaning.

“To the cemetery. I’ll pay my respects,” he explained. “That is, if you’ll come along.”

“I will, Eli.” She smiled at him brightly. “I will.”

Chapter Sixteen

H
ALLIE SAT BESIDE
Eli in the wagon, a smile on her face as bright as the early sun that had just begun to shine in the morning sky. Scant, wispy clouds hung low on the horizon, stretched so thin that the clear blue of the day shone through. What little breeze blew wasn’t enough to stir the leaves. A lone hawk soared in the already growing heat, a silent judge looking down upon them as they slowly made their way to Bison City.

She woke in her hay bed in the barn, and dressed carefully by the scant light of the lamp Eli provided for them. A smile was the first thing she put on, even if her trip wouldn’t be a cause of joy for everyone. Pearl initially grumbled at having to care for Mrs. Morgan and Mary by herself, but soon agreed to do so; the knowing wink and nudge she gave turned Hallie’s cheeks a deep red. After a quick meal, she climbed into the wagon’s seat, and, with a hitch of the reins and a click of his tongue, Eli drove away from the ranch house.

As glad as she was to be away from Mrs. Morgan’s watchful gaze and biting tongue, Hallie was even happier at the idea of spending the day with Eli.
Everything about him is so different.
She’d scarcely been able to sleep a wink after their kiss; the merest thought of his lips pressing against hers was enough to send shivers racing across her skin. Still, she tried to balance her own happiness against the reason for their trip.