Dorothy Garlock (29 page)

Johanna played her part, as if in a dream seeing nothing of the interior of Red’s small house or the people who crowded in to witness the ceremony. The service uniting Jacy and Luis was over before she realized it, and Luis, with his arms around his radiant bride, stood aside and urged Burr and Johanna forward.

She held tightly to Bucko’s hand and pulled him along beside them, and the three of them stood before the
padre.
Looking calm and aloof, her slender figure erect, she spoke her vows without a tremor. Inwardly she was numb, ice-cold from head to foot, yet terribly conscious of the presence at her side uttering words with cool deliberation, deceiving every listener with promises. “With my body I thee worship . . . to love and to cherish . . . till death us do part.” The soft voice of the
padre
droned on. “Do you, Burnett Englebretson Calloway, take this woman . . .”

Startled, Johanna looked up at her bridegroom to see him looking down at her with a mocking grin. Burr quickly turned his attention back to the
padre
and gave him a firm reply. When it was time for Johanna to reply, her voice was a mere thread of sound—the brave facade she had managed to pull around her had started to crumble.

Burr’s steely hand clasped hers, the long brown fingers wiry and tough. He bent his head and his lips fleetingly touched hers. It was then that Johanna realized the ceremony was over. Jacy rushed to her and embraced her tearfully. Luis kissed her on the cheek and shook hands vigorously with his brother, who claimed the right to kiss his bride.

A cheer broke from the crowd when the two couples stepped out of the house. Johanna blinked, dazzled by the brilliant sunshine. A horde of well-wishers descended upon them, showering them with flowers picked from their gardens. Jacy squealed as Luis swung her up into his arms and clutched her to his heart. The women were delighted by the action and the men grinned at the color that transformed the new wife into a creature of shy enchantment. The story of Jaceta’s violation had been told and retold, and the part Luis played by killing the two men responsible was fast becoming a legend. Most of those present knew the story of Luis’s birth and their hearts warmed to see the glow of happiness on his face.

It was difficult for Johanna to remain aloof for long among the happy well-wishers who surrounded them. She was soon relaxed and smiling, then laughter came bubbling up as Burr was pelted with one outrageous remark after another. He glanced down at her with laughing eyes and took her hand. He gave it a comforting squeeze, a gesture so warm and surprising that it released from deep within her a flood of pleasure.

“Kiss her, señor! Kiss her!”

His hard hand cupped the back of her head and he kissed her lips, still parted in laughter, and crushed her to him in a bone-crushing and fierce embrace. So overwhelming was the wonder of the feeling that Johanna made no protest. Every nerve in her body was alive in a way she had never before known, and she knew, too, that never would she again feel quite this way. He released her lips, and she leaned against him, faintly dizzy from the excitement that churned within her. She gulped for air, and, finally, sanity crept back to calm her mind and senses. She looked at him then, fully expecting his face to show the mockery she had come to know. But Burr was unmistakably serious. He reached out and with his fingertips lightly touched the brooch fastened at her throat. Their eyes held for an immeasurable time. Someone called, and he turned to acknowledge the good-natured joshing. Johanna felt a twinge of disappointment that the moment was over.

*  *  *

The afternoon shadows lengthened quickly and the cool air of evening swept down from the mountains. The wedding party broke up, the men going out to relieve the patrol and the women to their homes with the children. Burr’s and Luis’s promise of a real celebration with a whole barbecued steer after the Apache left the valley brought a buzz of excited voices all talking at once about kettles of
frijoles,
platters of
tamales,
and vats of peppery
chili.
The men whooped with excitement on hearing that several barrels of whiskey from the locked storehouse would be opened for the occasion.

Jacy and Luis were staying in the Mexican village until they could go to their hacienda. The widow who had relinquished her small one-room home to the couple would stay with Red and Rosita for the time being.

Luis, of course, wouldn’t go to the stone house and Jacy wouldn’t leave him, so Johanna offered to pack her sister’s belongings, and Burr volunteered to bring them down as soon as he dispatched the men to guard duty. He and Luis stepped aside and talked in low tones. Luis did most of the talking and Burr nodded in agreement.

“Burr and I will be away for a few hours,
mi corazón.
” Luis took Jacy’s hands in his. “You are to stay with Rosita and I will come for you.”

Jacy started to protest, then stopped. “
Sí mi marido,
” she said, love and gladness shining in her eyes. “I will obey my husband.”

Burr looked at Johanna with raised eyebrows. “Words I hope to hear very soon,” he murmured.

An impudent smile came to Johanna’s lips. “It’s foolish to hope for the impossible.”

Luis kissed Jacy tenderly and murmured to her.

Burr went to kiss Johanna, but she turned her head sharply and his lips brushed her cheek. He chuckled.

“I’ll be back,” he whispered. “Your waspish temper won’t keep me away from you.” He held her chin with his fingertips and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I’ll not be back for supper, so leave something on the table. I’ve got to keep my strength up now that I’ll have regular . . . night duties.” He grinned devilishly, gave her chin a light pinch, and walked away to join Luis and Ben.

Johanna watched the two tall men, one so dark and the other so fair, as they talked quietly and earnestly with Ben. Bucko sidled up to Luis, who without looking down at the child held out his hand. Then something happened that Johanna wouldn’t have believed if she hadn’t seen it herself. Burr put his arms around Ben and embraced him. She could see his big hand patting him gently on the back. He stepped back and Luis embraced the small gray-haired man, and then he knelt and spoke to Bucko. The child ran off toward Rosita’s. Johanna wanted to cry. The two big men, the old man, and the child were a family. It was something that hadn’t occurred to her before.

*  *  *

Ben had been quiet during and after the weddings. He waited while Johanna said her goodbyes to Rosita and Jacy, and then they started up the path to the stone house.

Johanna didn’t ask him the question that had been on her mind since the ceremony until they were well away from the Mexican village.

“Ben, there’s something bothering me.”

“Yes, I know, lass.”

“Why did the
padre
call Burr, Burnett Englebretson Calloway?”

“Because a long time ago, when Burr and Luis were lads, I adopted them. Their legal name is Calloway. Luis uses his mother’s name, Gazares, except in legal matters. Burr enjoys deviling Mack by calling himself Macklin.”

“Why didn’t someone tell me? Why so secret? I doubt if Jacy knew it, or she would have said something.”

“I’d be surprised if Luis had thought to tell her. The boys have always kept the things that are important to them to themselves. I never told Mack. I thought if the boys wanted him to know, they’d tell him. They didn’t. Both boys take special pains to keep Mack from knowing anything about their private lives. I’m sorry you weren’t told before the wedding, Johanna. I reminded Burr to tell you. He said he’d handle it, but I guess he forgot.”

Oh yes, no doubt he has forgot to tell me a lot of things,
Johanna thought bitterly. She digested this last bit of news with a sick feeling that was beyond anger. The whole ghastly reality hit her now—she had married a man who didn’t love her but had used her to keep control of his land. He intended to use her body for sexual gratification and he also apparently intended to continue carrying on with his mistress. He hadn’t even bothered to tell her that after she married him she would be known as Mrs. Calloway, and not Mrs. Macklin.

Suddenly she hurt as she had never hurt before. And yet, she asked herself, how could she have handled the situation differently?

S
eventeen

^“
W
e’ll see if the bastard’s man enough to fill your belly.”

Johanna pretended she hadn’ t heard the old man’s remark and went on about her work. His hot, bright eyes had been following every move she made until she wanted to scream. He had come early to the kitchen and settled himself in the chair by the hearth to watch her prepare the evening meal. Whenever she glanced up he was staring intently at some part of her anatomy. Occasionally she could hear the hiss of a stream of tobacco juice hitting the fire.

Ben came in, and Johanna breathed a sigh of relief. He noticed her heightened color at once and tried to draw Mack’s attention away from her.

“Burr thinks there are nearly four hundred Apaches in the lower valley, Mack.” He paused and waited for a comment, but none came. The old man continued to stare at Johanna.

Dear Ben. Johanna realized he was striving for a civilized conversation with old Mack for her sake.

“It’s been years since that many Apaches have gathered here. Burr left about fifty head of cattle down there. That should be enough for them.” Ben turned toward Johanna. “It’s a matter of pride for the Indians to steal them.”

“Humph!” old Mack snorted. “Where’s the bastard gone to now?” His eyes fastened on Johanna’s face as she brought a plate of food to the table. “He’d be a fool to wear hisself out a-humpin’ one of them Apache bitches.”

Johanna was sure that she had never hated anyone or anything as much as she hated this vile old man.

“Burr’s out patrolling. He’ll be back soon.” Johanna didn’t know how Ben could be so patient.

“Be a goddamn fool if he didn’t.” The smile on old Mack’s face made his meaning clear.

Johanna shrank from the vulgar remarks of the old man and the pitying looks Ben gave her each time her face burned. Time had failed to dull the embarrassment of old Mack’s tactless comments and the shocking methods he used to focus attention on himself.

She found herself wishing she could hear the ring of Burr’s boot heels on the stone floor of the hall. What if something happened to him and he didn’t come back? She breathed so deeply that her lungs hurt, and her heartbeat faltered, then picked up speed. The realization of that possibility brought her up short, and she stood motionless facing the cookstove. She was aware now of the truth she had tried so desperately to avoid facing. Johanna Doan, Calloway now, the woman who was sensitive to beauty and softness, books and music, a considerate person brought up to appreciate the fine arts, had fallen in love with a crude, arrogant, overbearing rancher!

The thoughts went around and around.
Stop it,
she said to herself. She must stop this obsessive thinking—must concentrate on what needed to be done. There was nothing she could do about the situation in which she found herself, so she’d best get on with her work. She picked up the copper teakettle and went to the wooden water bucket, intent upon blotting out all thought but work. Burr’s face, his brilliant blue eyes, his animated features, looked up at her from the clear water in the bucket. She turned quickly and walked back to the stove.

The scraping of old Mack’s chair on the stone floor sounded loud in the quiet room. Johanna paused on her way to the table. She could see his features in the lamplight, and his sharp, piercing eyes seemed to see right through her. He hobbled to the door, and she could hear him muttering to himself as he went down the hall to his room.

“He’s not going to stay and eat.” Johanna was so relieved, her shoulders sagged.

“We can thank God for that. Come sit down, lass. We can eat in peace.”

Johanna added a stick of firewood to the cookstove, removed a lid, and moved the teakettle over the blaze before she spoke.

“Thank you for keeping Bucko out of the kitchen tonight.” She poured coffee for herself and Ben and sat down at the table. “He’s terribly afraid of Mr. Macklin. And when Mr. Macklin is in one of his miserable moods he’ll say whatever comes to his mind.”

“I’ve known him thirty years, lass. There’s not an ounce of goodness in him.”

“It isn’t right that a child has to live in constant turmoil.”

“There’s no reason why you have to suffer Mack’s presence now, either, lass. You’re no longer an employee here. Remember? If Mack continues to be so insulting—and I see no prospects of him changing—Burr will have to arrange for other living quarters for you and Bucko.”

“Oh, Ben, do you think he’d do that? The thought of spending the rest of my life in this house is enough to make me go mad!” Tears sprang to her eyes and she blinked rapidly, hoping Ben wouldn’t notice them.

He patted her hand. “Don’t worry about Bucko for a few days. He’ll stay down at the bunkhouse with Codger while the Apaches are camped here. Burr’s afraid they might get it in their heads to steal him back. Codger’ll keep an eye on him every minute.”

Johanna searched Ben’s face with large questioning eyes. “I wish I knew more about Bucko.”

Ben continued to pat her hand. “I wish I knew more to tell you, lass, but I don’t. I don’t know who fathered him, but it’s a sure fact he’s a Macklin one way or the other.”

“If there were a chance that Bucko were not Burr’s child, you’d think he’d have said so.” A sad note crept into her voice. Ben look at her sharply. She got up from the table and carried the dishes to the pan of sudsy water she had left to heat on the cookstove.

“Let me help you tonight, lass.”

“No, Ben. You’ve put in a long day.” She smiled at him fondly. “You’re quite a handsome man, Mr. Calloway, when you get all dressed up.”

“I’ll never get dressed up for a bigger occasion, Johanna. Both my boys were married today . . . and to two lovely sisters.” His eyes twinkled.