Doorstep daddy (27 page)

_{"Ah...she had car trouble. I drove her home."}

_{"Oh. Okay. See ya later." The door closed.}

_{The second Callie heard it click shut, she yanked the covers down and whispered fiercely, "How could you volunteer me to go to New York and never say a word?"}

_{Richard looked innocent. "I told him you couldn't."}

_{"After you told him I would."}

_{"I meant to ask you because I thought I would need help with Mark and they were short on chaperons. The trip would have been canceled if I hadn't volunteered. A lot of parents work and can't go."}

_{"I work! I can't go! And I'm not a parent!" She couldn't believe he'd done this to her.}

_{"That part didn't matter. You only have to sign a form saying you're willing to chaperon." He smiled sheepishly. "I felt bad about that, and frankly, that was at the point when Jay was acting up. I thought if he saw that I was willing to do things with him, for him, that
he and I would be closer. They gave me special permission to bring Mark, because of my situation. I thought you might be willing to help with the kids, too. You seemed to like them. But we all got sick and I forgot to talk to you about the trip. Don't worry about it. It wasn't fair to you at all, and I'm sure they've got enough adults by now."}

_{"Don't bet on it." Callie thought she would explode with anger. "And Jay
expected
me to go. How's he going to feel when not only do I not show up, but the trip gets canceled because I don't? He'll never trust an adult again. Especially not you."}

_{Richard shook his head. "You're seeing this all out of proportion. Jay will understand when I explain it to him. And you're diverting the subject away from our real problem. Us."}

_{Callie closed her eyes in despair. Within fifteen minutes she'd run the gamut of emotions from tenderl ness to panic to outrage, all caused by Richard. No wonder she was confused by the man.}

_{"I shouldn't go. I really can't."}

_{"I know."}

_{"I care about you, Richard." "That's all I ask."}

_{"It's too soon. Maybe it will always be." Just think-
I
ing of his declaration opened a chasm inside her, one she was terrified to peer into.}

_{"It's not too soon, but it's too inconvenient for you," he countered. "I know that. But it doesn't change a
I
thing."}

_{"You can't be sure how you feel yet." "I can."}

_{"You can't. Trust me."}

_{"I do. But you have to trust me on this."}

_{"I..." She realized anything she said would be patronizing or hurtful. She closed her mouth.}

_{Richard pushed back the covers. "I'm getting up. I have to, anyway. And you need to go to work.".}

_{"I can't." she said.}

_{He paused, one foot halfway to the floor. He glanced over his shoulder, pulling her gaze from the muscled expanse of his back. How many times last night had she run her hands over those muscles? Enough to know their every nuance.}

_{"What do you mean, you can't go?" he asked. "You couldn't wait to get out of this bed earlier."}

_{"Jason will hear me if I leave now. I don't want to explain that and neither should you. And if I did somehow manage to escape, how do you explain my car suddenly being gone after you told him it was broke?"}

_{"The tow truck came?"}

_{"And a seven-year-old boy missed that event?" She shook her head. "Not likely. They're like sharks at feeding time whenever emergency trucks, any trucks, are around."}

_{He gave a shrug that affirmed his agreement rather than his indifference. ' True. They love trucks more than cowboys do."}

_{"Right. And I have to go on this trip."}

_{His expression changed. "No, you don't. I was wrong, I'll tell them - "}

_{"No," she said, shaking her head. "I would never forgive myself if I didn't go. Not when they're short of chaperons and the trip could be canceled. That's not fair to the kids."}

_{' 'What about the parents of those kids? They said no. Granted, they work, or that's the reason I was given. But
they could lose a day as easily as you. More easily. It's for their kids."}

_{She shook her head. "I'm a little more cynical than you about parents. Jason's had enough trauma in his life without another adult not being there for him and maybe humiliating him in front of his class. I will not, however, speak to you again."}

_{Richard smiled. ' 'You are the most wonderful woman. I do love you."}

_{Callie grimaced. "Go take your shower, Richard. Before I find a gun and shoot you. If you hadn't done this for Jason's sake, I'd find that gun."}

_{He rose from the bed. Her ire dulled at the sight of his body, lean and naked and gleaming in the pale dawn light. He padded unashamed into the bathroom, as if to give her a prolonged view of what she was about to throw away. Despite the emotional turmoil he'd created, Callie still felt a jolt of remembered joining. He and her as one. It had been so right. It made her want more, made her almost willing to throw everything away and fall madly in love with him.}

_{Why did he have to say he loved her and push her into the whirlpool again? Why couldn't he understand she wasn't ready to even hear the words? She might never be. She had doubts, too, about his feelings. She couldn't shake the notion that his love was tied up with the kids needing a mother figure, as well as a father one. Nearly any woman would do for that purpose, and she was afraid he'd eventually realize that.}

_{Worse, she was responding to Jason's needs, too. She ought not to care if the class trip was canceled because Richard forgot to ask her to chaperon. She cared all too much and hadn't been able to say no. That was dangerous because it meant she was falling right back into put
ting others' needs before her own. Even last night, when ] she should have been happy without the kids, she hadn't ] been. She didn't even want to think about what her boss ' would say when she took time off from work yet again,
I
so she didn't think about it.}

_{Richard emerged from the bathroom, wrapped only in
I
a towel. She pulled the bedclothes back over her head so she wouldn't see him dress. When he went down- ] stairs, she still left the covers over her head, hoping that would help block her thoughts. But she could smell his ] scent on the sheets. She could still feel his body heat.}

_{She heard the kids getting up. She heard their chatter and their laughter. Every fiber of her being wanted to be , a part of their day. Every day. Richard's deep voice made her so aware of what she didn't have - and wanted.}

_{At some point she became aware of the house noises diminishing, the front door opening and closing several}
¹
_{times. When that stopped, she knew she was alone. She scrambled out of the bed she'd shared with Richard and raced to dress. If she was to make the trip, she would have to hustle home and change. She refused to wear her clothes from last night all day today. And she would shower at home.}

_{She was out of Richard's house in record time, al-j though she wondered if Jason or Amanda had noticed her coat and purse in the living room and asked questions. She hoped not. The two had enough to handle without explaining the sex life of two adults.}

_{The
more-than-sex
life of two adults. She could deny a lot of things, but she couldn't deny it was more than sex with Richard. It was.}

_{Callie pushed the notions out of her head. Right now she needed to stay practical and angry with Richard. The latter was self-preservation. She opened her car door -}

_{"Callie! This goes too far!"}

_{"The voice of doom," Callie muttered, not turning to face her sister, Gerri. More loudly she said, "Out of the way, girl. I've got to be on a bus to New York pronto."}

_{One problem sidestepped, she thought as she backed her car past her sister's shocked face. An odd notion hit "her, and she smiled wryly.}

_{She and Richard still hadn't had a normal date.}

_{H
olding the handle
of Mark's stroller, Richard hovered near the elevators at the top of the Empire State Building. He watched Callie shepherding Jason and some other boys at the high fencing around the stone terrace wall. All of them were trying to peek over the edge down to the street. Way, way down to the street. He could get on airplanes, but wide-open heights like this bothered him.}

_{He called out, "Guys, get away from there. Please."}

_{Jay turned around and grinned. "We're okay, Uncle Richard."}

_{Callie didn't turn at all. She hadn't spoken to him, either, during the entire trip. Well, she hadn't spoken to him unless she absolutely had to. Nothing was worse than a two-hour ride on a school bus next to a woman who looked straight ahead - especially when she had jbeen insatiable for him just a few hours before.}

_{Despite the fifty-degree temperature and crisp breeze, sweat broke out on Richard's forehead as the kids stood on tiptoe to see below. "Jay, you may be okay, but I'm
■
not. Now, step back from the edge. Why don't you use the binocular stand? Maybe you can see across the city to Jersey. Here, I've got money." " The herd of boys he chaperoned pounded over to him
at the promise of cash. They gathered around him, hands out and palms up, as he fished coins from his pocket.}

_{He passed the money out, saying, "Now you guys! understand that this is a bribe to stay away from the edge."}

_{The boys laughed. They had been rambunctious but well behaved enough during their tour of Ellis Island and lunch at the Fulton Fish Market. Certainly they were unaware of the tension between him and Callie. Most ofi the trip participants hadn't noticed, either. Jay's teacher}
¹
_{had gushed all over Callie for coming along, since she made up the requisite number of adults. At least one thing had turned out okay this morning, but, man, did}
¹
_{he wish he hadn't gotten out of bed today, not withi Callie still in it!}

_{He sent the boys off to view New Jersey. Callie, he noticed, still stood at the fence, gazing out over the city. He desperately wanted to call her back, but knew she probably stayed over there just to irritate him. She was] doing a good job of it.}

_{Sitting down heavily on a bench, he admitted to being wearier than he'd been in a long time. He had only himself to blame for the cause. Not only had he had very little sleep, but he'd forgotten he'd volunteered to chaperon and also added the trauma of declaring his love to Callie. Then he had compounded all that by forgetting to ask her about helping today and putting her in an untenable position.}

_{"Sky!" Mark shouted, nearly standing in his stroller
.1
The child reached his hand up to try to touch the white puffy clouds. The day was glorious, one of those great moments November produced in the Northeast.}

_{"Let me tell you, son, being this close isn't a thrill when you're old," Richard said, grinning wryly. Maybe
falling off a cliff in another life had given him this feeling now. "Are you having fun with the big kids?"}

_{Mark stopped reaching. He leaned almost out of the stroller. "Yeah!"}

_{Richard laughed. "I'm glad someone is."}

_{He lifted Mark the rest of the way out, holding the boy on his lap. He wanted Mark to see the city, but not as close as Jay had. It was time to check on his charges, anyway, who'd seemed to scatter to every corner of the observation terrace.}

_{He walked past Callie, debating whether to stop and attempt conversation. Her back was to him, although she had to be aware of his presence. Okay, she was ticked off. She had a right to be. Maybe he was better off
not
speaking to her.}

_{He went around the terrace area made famous by
An Affair to Remember
and
Sleepless in Seattle.
The place
would
have to be romantic, he thought in disgust. He and Callie should be strolling arm in arm, looking deeply into each other's eyes. Instead, she was in a furious funk over at the potential suicide ledge, and he was chasing down a gaggle of seven-and eight-year-old boys. Cupid had missed
his
backside big time.}