Doomed Queens (3 page)

CHAPTER ONE

Biblical Times and Beyond

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

Mine honor was not yielded, but conquered merely.

Cleopatra, via William Shakespeare

I
t is in the ancient world that our survey of unfortunate queens begins. This era is anchored by two figures, Alexander the Great and Cleopatra. Though the two rulers shared little beyond a common ancestor and some serious ambition, both served to inspire the destruction of those close to them. Just call them the Typhoid Marys of blue bloods.

Alexander was a descendant of the powerful Argead dynasty that ruled the vast Macedonian empire in the fourth century BCE. He used his considerable military genius to expand his holdings to encompass just about all of the ancient world, spreading the best of Greek culture (better known as Hellenism) in the process. Alexander’s premature demise in 323 BCE led to numerous power struggles and fatalities. His death also led to the founding of Egypt’s Ptolemaic dynasty, from which Cleopatra sprang like Athena from Zeus’s head.

The saga of Cleopatra and her kin is, in many ways, a tale of sibling rivalry gone wild. Cleopatra lived three centuries after Alexander and was the last pharaoh of the Ptolemaic dynasty. Though she was a skilled ruler, she was no warrior like her ancestor—instead, she seduced influential men into fighting her battles for her. Her two regent sisters, Berenice and Arsinoe, also coveted the Egyptian throne but weren’t as persuasive in the charm department. Nor did they have Cleo’s canny intelligence.

What exactly was it about Egypt that encouraged women rulers to set their caps so high? The historian Herodotus proposed that things were just different there: “The people, in most of their manners and customs, exactly reverse the common practice of mankind. For example women attend the markets and trade, while men sit at home at the loom…. Women urinate standing up, men sitting down….”

And how did these queens of biblical times end their reigns? Matricide occurred too often for comfort—offspring hungry for power did not allow sweet memories of the womb to discourage their desires. Also popular: poison, drowning, and state-sanctioned suicides. Fun times.

835 BCE

mong royals of the biblical age, Queen Athaliah had quite the pedigree. She was the daughter of Israel’s King Ahab and Queen Jezebel—yes,
that
Jezebel, the temptress immortalized in blues songs and an old Bette Davis movie. The Book of Kings claims that Athaliah’s infamous mother met a nasty end at the hands of palace eunuchs. As for Athaliah, her life and death illustrate the adage of the apple not falling far from the tree.

Royal marriages in biblical times were no different from royal marriages later in history—dynastic aspirations have ever trumped personal inclination. Jezebel, a princess of Phoenicia, was pragmatically wed to King Ahab to ally their lands against enemies. Like mother, like daughter: When Athaliah came of age, her parents trundled the princess of Israel off to King Jehoram of Judah to say “I do.” Ideally speaking, their union should have created one big happy conglomerate of Judah-Israel where everyone lived in harmony. But there was one problem: Athaliah followed her mother’s worship of Baal, a Mesopotamian fertility god; Jehoram was a descendant of King David. Today, these differences would make prime ingredients for a screwball comedy where everyone learns religious tolerance and how to make a mean matzo ball. In ancient times, they usually spelled bloodshed.

When Athaliah married Jehoram, Jehoram agreed to take on Athaliah’s religion. The new queen of Judah gave birth to a son named Ahaziah, who also followed his mother’s lead in worship.

Though they all may have gotten along in private, in public Jehoram’s rule was unstable—his subjects weren’t too happy with the king’s religion by marriage. Nor did they limit themselves to complaints. Jehoram was fatally shot with an arrow after defending his mother-in-law from accusations of witchcraft and fornication. Ahaziah succeeded his father as king but died a year later in battle.

A BRIEF DIGRESSION

Executions were performed during ancient times for a wide range of infractions beyond murder or treason. The Code of Hammurabi, the first set of written laws, which dates from 1760 BCE Mesopotamia, lists numerous death-worthy offenses, such as bearing false witness or hiding runaway slaves. Methods to dispatch the condemned to the next world included, in no particular order: starvation, hanging, poison, decapitation, strangulation, crucifixion, and stoning. Slaves were deemed unworthy of any official ceremony and simply beaten to death.

But what about royal women like Athaliah? The Bible states that “they slew Athaliah with the sword” one assumes this means a beheading rather than a picturesque fencing match. However, this fate was not shared by all condemned queens. Jezebel, Athaliah’s mother, was killed by defenestration—a fancy way of saying she was shoved out a window. Her body was left where it landed and devoured by dogs.

Now it was Athaliah’s chance to rule, for bad and worse. Grabbing the opportunity presented by her son’s death, she immediately ordered the executions of all possible successors to the throne of Judah—in other words, every member of her family by marriage. However, Queen Athaliah wasn’t as thorough in her machinations as she thought. Her sister-in-law Jehosheba escaped the communal bloodbath, taking the queen’s baby grandson, Joash, with her. She hid him and his nurse in a bedroom, a simple but evidently effective plan.

While Athaliah ruled without impediment, Jehosheba secretly raised little Joash away from the queen’s attention. Six years later in 835 BCE, Joash went public and was anointed king by the powers that be.

Not surprisingly, Athaliah was furious at the royal coup. She tore at her clothes and screamed, “Treason! Treason!” But the queen’s accusations were no match against King Joash’s army. They captured Athaliah and promptly executed her.