Don't Tell A Soul (15 page)

TAYLOR

 

 

 

 

“I
want to go over my daddy's house,” Joshua says as soon as I get home from dinner with Shaquan.

Her little meet up with her new potential boo didn't go as planned, so we decided to go and have dinner at Chili's—Shaquan's favorite spot if she has to pay. If she's out on a date, then she'd rather go to a place with no prices on the menu.

We had a good time, and I was able to get my mind off of this mess with Luke, but as soon as I walk through the door, I have to hear about him. Ugh! Most of all, it makes me cringe to hear him calling Luke “Daddy.” He started doing this after he talked for hours on the phone with Luke a couple days after his visit with him at the restaurant.

“You're not going over to Luke's house,” I say. As far as I'm concerned, the conversation is over.

“Why not? That's not fair, Mom. You've had me all this time, and he just wants to get to know me. I want to know him, too.”

I take Joshua's hand and lead him to the couch. “Don't you want to spend some time with Spencer, honey?”

Joshua shakes his head. “He doesn't like me. He only wants to hit me.”

“You know that's not true, Joshua. You've been out of pocket lately. He's just trying to help you get back on track.”

“Well, I want my daddy to help me. He understands me.”

I cringe again. “He doesn't even know you yet, Joshua.”

“But he has to understand me, because I'm a part of him. I mean, for real, Mom, we look just alike.”

“Spencer came into our lives when you were little, and he loves you just like you were his own son.”

“But I
am
my daddy's son. And he wants to be around me, so why are you tripping?”

My blood just went from simmer to boil in the flash of a second. “Luke ain't done nothin' for you! You didn't even have a decent winter coat until Spencer came along.”

“So 'cause Spencer got more money than my daddy, that makes him better?”

“Did Luke tell you to ask me that?”

“No, but you keep bringing up child support. So I'm asking because I want to know. If my daddy was rich, would you let me go over his house?”

I am not about to sit up here and defend myself to my own son. This boy is about two syllables away from getting his behind handed to him. Too grown talking to be eleven years old. My mother would've never let me get away with this.

“I think you better take yourself up into your bedroom, look around, and appreciate everything you have. Then later, when you can talk to me like you have some sense, we can discuss Luke and what he means to this family.”

“You can't stop me from seeing him.”

“Try me. I'm not playing with you, Joshua. I will beat the black off you.”

Joshua shakes his head. “Now you and your husband gonna beat me?”

“I swear, you got five seconds to get upstairs!”

The loudness and ferocity of my voice scare me a little. I've never been this harsh with Joshua, but he is trying my patience with this Luke stuff. I don't know if I'm going to be able to get through this. Maybe I can talk Spencer into moving all of us to Atlanta or Dallas. To a place where Luke can't disrupt our once happy home.

Spencer walks in from the kitchen and sits down next to me on the couch. “We've got a problem.”

“Yes, I know. Luke just won't let me have any peace, will he?”

“We got a letter from the school today saying that Joshua will have to repeat fifth grade if we don't send him to summer school.”

“Well, of course. They made him miss the last three weeks of school.”

“Summer school starts next week, and they sent us several locations he can attend, none of which are close by.”

“Bump them. I'm going to homeschool my baby.”

“Taylor, how are you going to do that and work, too? I thought we agreed that your time off from work was temporary and that you were going back.”

I take Spencer's hand in mine and trace my finger across his palm. “I meant to talk to you about that. I think that I should stay home with him for a while and take an indefinite leave of absence from work.”

“You think Ellis Financial would be cool with that?”

“I don't care what they think. Are you cool with it?”

Spencer snatches his hand away from me. A bad sign. “I mean, no, not really. I'm not cool with that. We have a lot of bills, Taylor. Living like we do doesn't come cheaply.”

“I know, baby, but we've got a lot of money saved up, and it wouldn't be forever. . . .”

“You mean our retirement fund? Joshua's college fund? That's not money I'm willing to touch. Not for this! What if one of us is truly incapacitated and can't work? Then we might actually have to use some of that money to survive. I'm not going to let Joshua's bad behavior mess up our lives.”

“So how do you suggest we handle this?”

“I think we should send him to one of these summer schools and get him enrolled in whichever district will have him next year.”

“We're going to have to pay tuition.”

“It doesn't matter. It won't even touch the amount of money we'd lose if you came off your six-figure-a-year job.”

“But, Spencer—”

“This is not even up for discussion, Taylor. I've sat back and let you make decisions that I should be making. That ends today.”

“Okay. Since you're running stuff right now, can you please figure out what to do about this Luke visitation scenario?”

“If you had let me handle it in the first place, we wouldn't be in this mess right now. I think we both need to sit down with Luke and his fiancée, without Joshua being present, for a real talk. We need to lay some ground rules, because this chump is not about to come in and turn our world upside down.”

“I'll call him and set it up.”

Spencer shakes his head. “You won't do anything. I'll call him and set it up, and if he doesn't want to deal with me, he can deal with the court and that small matter of his back child support bill.”

“I love it when you take charge, Spencer. It makes me feel protected.”

“I love it when you
let
me take charge.” Spencer's voice softens. “You have to trust that I want the best for our entire family. I love Joshua just like he came from my own seed.”

“I know you do.”

“Well, let me deal with this, Tay. I've got this. And Joshua is going to be okay. He's just smelling himself right now. It's a man thing.”

“He isn't a man yet. He better watch himself if he wants to make it to manhood.”

“He'll make it! And we'll be proud of him when he gets there.”

For the first time since Luke reared his ugly head, I feel better about this situation. Spencer is a man of God, and I trust him. He's going to make everything okay.

Spencer stands up and holds out his hand. “I believe we have a meeting scheduled.”

“What meeting?”

“The meeting in my bedroom.”

I place my free hand over my mouth and giggle. “Okay, but I have to call Pam first. She's going through something, and I promised that I'd call.”

“You've got twenty minutes, Taylor, and then I'm disconnecting the call.”

I take the phone out of my purse and quickly dial Pam's cell.

“Hello.”

“Hey, girl! What is going on with you?” I ask. “You seemed off at the girl's house.”

“So much is going on. But before we get on my drama, what do you think about Eva?”

“I don't know what to think. I just know that Yvonne seems really taken with her. She's like a kitten with a ball of yarn. I've never seen her that excited about helping someone.”

“I know. She seems nice, but I don't know. I think she's hiding something.”

“Aren't we all?”

Pam says, “Yeah, we are. I've got some stuff that's just between me and God.”

“You don't have any secrets, Pam! You are way too boring for secrets. And since we're back to talking about you, are you going to tell me what's wrong?”

“I think Troy may have had an affair with Aria.”

Big sigh from me. “You back on that again? I remember you were about to lose your mind behind that girl years ago.”

“Well, I didn't have proof back then, but now I have evidence. She wrote him a letter saying she was moving on.”

“Okay. Maybe she tried to get with him and he told her to step off.”

“That's what every person I've asked has said. But it doesn't have to mean that. It could mean that what they had has run its course and it's over. No matter what, he's got to find a new artist.”

“I think you are jumping to conclusions, as usual. I know that Troy loves you, and so what if that girl wanted to get with him once upon a time? He's a good-looking guy, Pam, and he's her mentor. Maybe she just got caught up.”

Pam gets very quiet.

“Pam?” I ask. “Are you still there?”

“I'm here.”

“Look, I'm not sure if Troy's innocent, but you always think the worst of him. Hope for the best, but prepare yourself for the worst.”

“I'll let you know what happens after I confront him,” Pam says.

“Don't confront him, Pam. Just tell him that you know about the letter, and see what he says.”

“And if he admits to it?”

“Then call me right away, girl. I'll help you hide the body.”

Pam laughs out loud. “I know you will. But I'd rather you pray for me.”

“I'll pray for you both. But I have a feeling that it's going to work out fine.”

“Spencer must be in a romantic mood. You always trying to wrap up my problems real quick when your man is frisky.”

“You got me, girl. Spence has me on a time limit, but just know that I'm here for you.”

“Whatever! I'll talk to you tomorrow. I won't get any writing done while Troy is gone, so we might as well hang.”

“Okay. Later.”

I let out a sigh as I disconnect the phone call. I want to be optimistic for Pam, but I've been worried about that Aria chick since the first time I saw her perform. She looked at Troy the way I looked at Luke. There was longing in her eyes, like she wanted to take Pam's place. At the time, I never thought that Troy reciprocated, but now I can't be so sure.

I'm always gonna pray for my girl, but I've got something in the natural for Ms. Aria, too. Game recognizes game, and I know a husband stealer when I see one. If she's trying to mess up my girl's happy home, she's going to have to deal with me and God.

EVA

 

 

 

 

E
va sat on the floor of her new apartment in a daze. She hadn't moved since she'd run Yvonne off by kissing her. Hours had gone by, and she still couldn't figure out what possessed her to do something so stupid.

It had something to do with Yvonne rocking her back and forth as her grandmother had. Eva had told Yvonne about the adult films, and she hadn't pushed her away. She hadn't been disgusted, like her grandmother had been. Eva had felt a surge of love for Yvonne like she'd never felt for anyone.

And now it was ruined.

Eva glanced over at the discarded DVDs on the floor near her bed. Yvonne had been disgusted by them, and now Eva was, too. They seemed demonic. She wondered why she held on to them. It kind of seemed crazy since she was determined to never go back to that life.

It was only a matter of time before Yvonne told someone Eva's secret. She'd promised not to, but how would she be able to keep that to herself? How could Yvonne let someone like her live on her church grounds? She was going to at least tell the pastor, of that Eva was sure.

Eva replayed the day in her mind. Everyone had come together to help her move. The men came and moved all her things, and not one of them had made a pass at her. This was shocking, but it had made Eva feel safe around them.

Then the women had come, and this had warmed Eva's heart more than anything. Her female friends were scarce, no, nonexistent. But they had shown up to help her move, and they seemed happy to be there.

The one girl, Shaquan, had recognized Eva but didn't remember how they knew one another. Eva remembered. Shaquan had worked at a strip club that Eva had tried before she got into the adult film business. Shaquan was the cook, and she fried chicken wings and fries for the men sticking dollar bills in Eva's G-string.

Eva wasn't really worried about Shaquan spilling her secret. Telling everyone would require her to reveal their connection. And Eva also knew that Shaquan did much more than fry chicken wings. She sold exclusive favors in the VIP room, just like the girls who worked the pole.

Eva considered calling Yvonne. When she'd given her the phone number, she'd said to call anytime. She just wanted to say “I'm sorry” however many times it took for Yvonne to forget what she'd done.

Like everyone else that she'd ever cared about, Eva had pushed Yvonne away. And Yvonne had tried to lead her to God. No one else had done that.

Would her life really change when she gave it over to Jesus? What if she was still sad and lonely? What if the sordid things she'd done on those videos continued to haunt her?

What if it did? What if she wasn't, and what if they didn't?

Eva would never know what could happen unless she just trusted and believed God and let Him take control. She didn't even know what it meant to do that. But first, it seemed to require a decision on her part.

Eva didn't know about baptism yet, but she knew the first thing she'd do. She crawled across the floor on her hands and knees and retrieved the DVDs. Then she reached into her toolbox and got out a hammer.

She pounded on the DVDs until they were in pieces all over the floor. She gathered the pieces together in a pile and wondered where she could dispose of them. She didn't want them in her new home any longer.

After she discarded the pieces in the Dumpster outside, Eva picked up her grandmother's Bible. She flipped through the pages, looking at the highlighted texts and wondering if those would lead her to understand God or salvation.

Eva's grandmother had highlighted many texts in the book of Deuteronomy. It was the most marked, so Eva assumed that this was her grandmother's favorite book of the Bible. Some of them she'd highlighted and underlined in red.

The first underlined text read,
If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Eva shuddered. Then she wondered if her grandmother had applied this scriptural verse to her uncle Parnell. Eva wished that someone had taken him somewhere and thrown stones at him. She would've been the first in line to do it.

The next passage read,
But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

Eva shuddered with fear. It was as if she could feel her grandmother's presence in the room. Her grandmother had called her a whore. Had she wished her dead and stoned, too, just like Uncle Parnell?

In the margin of the next passage, Eva's grandmother had written in red block letters, “RAPE.” The passage read,
If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.

This didn't apply to Eva. She had cried out, but no one had listened. No one had stopped her uncle from stealing her innocence. No one had stopped him from destroying everything pure and sweet within her.

Eva closed the Bible and sighed. There was no joy in these passages for her. She wanted to know the God that Yvonne talked about, the forgiving and loving God. Not the one who called for people to be stoned to death. Were they the same God?

Eva was confused, but with Yvonne angry with her, there was no one to call. She whispered a prayer, “God, please don't let Yvonne hate me. Please take these feelings away from me. I don't want to think of women this way. I want a husband, a baby, and a house. Is that too much to ask, God? I want to be like Yvonne, Taylor, and Pam. They say that they're women of God. I am a woman, but I don't know who I belong to. Help me, God, because I don't even know what to pray. I am lost.”

Eva clutched the Bible to her chest, hoping that positive rays of hope would come into her heart. She fell asleep on the floor with the Bible in her arms, wishing more than anything for her prayers to come true.