Don't Say A Word (27 page)

    "Did you ever tell him differently? Most men aren't mind readers."

    "You're taking his side?" she asked in surprise and obviously still in a fighting mood.

    He put up a hand in defense. "Hey, I don't even know him. I'm just saying that maybe he assumed certain things because you didn't tell him he was wrong."

    She put her hands on her hips and sent him an irritated look. "I have a job that I love, and I've told him about it numerous times. But Michael thought I would quit my job, stay home, and have children immediately."

    Alex winced. "Ouch."

    "And he asked me to quit searching for my past. In fact, he insisted. I said I couldn't. I explained that it's out of my hands now. My God, someone just trashed my apartment. I can't just disappear, even if I wanted to. So I told him that…" She paused, drawing in a long breath.

    Damn. Alex had a feeling he didn't want to hear what she was about to say next. As much as he thought Julia needed to break off her engagement, he also liked the fact that there was a tangible barrier between them, a real reason not to get involved. He had a feeling that was about to disappear.

    Julia held up her left hand and he saw the naked third finger. "I broke up with him. I told Michael I couldn't marry him. Not because of anything that I just told you, but because I'm not in love with him. I let our relationship drift along, because it was easy, and it was nice. That was wrong. I should have come clean a long time ago. I don't know why I didn't," she added with a shake of her head. "It wasn't fair to Michael. I feel bad about that. I never meant to hurt him, but I did, and that wasn't right."

    He appreciated her honesty, her self-critical words.

    Julia wasn't a woman to let others take the blame when it wasn't deserved. He liked that about her. He liked a lot about her. Clearing his throat, he said, "What now?"

    "Now I have a mystery to solve. That's all I can think about for the moment."

    He nodded. "Someone wants something that they think you have."

    "Well, that narrows it down," she said with a hint of sarcasm. She took a seat on the couch, kicking up her feet on the coffee table. "We're not getting anywhere fast. By the way, I spoke to that reporter again. She cornered me at the radio station, and get this: She said she found a woman here in the United States who worked in that orphanage and who had seen me there. She said the woman told her they were under threat of death to talk about me. What do you think about that?"

    He thought for a moment. "I'm not sure I buy it. Sounds vague and a little too convenient, maybe part of Christine's plan to make you trust her."

    "I never thought about that. You think she made up the woman?"

    "Did she give you a name?"

    "No, that was based on my being willing to work with her. Apparently Christine thinks I'm her ticket to big-time news journalism."

    "She might be right. Let's see what else she comes up with. I also did a little digging." He sat down next to her. "I had another conversation with Stan." He paused, still unable to shake the feeling that Stan hadn't been completely honest with him.

    "And…" Julia prodded.

    "He gave me the name of a woman who worked with the theater group and who was in Moscow with us."

    Her eyes sparked with interest. "Really? That's great."

    "Not so great. Tanya did remember my father quite clearly and also Sarah, but she had no idea if you were there or not."

    "So she couldn't say I wasn't there?"

    "No. She said there were a few children with the company. She didn't know who belonged to who."

    "It's still possible then that my mother might have taken me to Russia with her."

    He nodded, knowing that Julia needed to hang on to that fact, and for the moment they had no proof that it wasn't true. "Tanya also implied that my father was spying for the government," he added, "and I'm starting to believe it."

    "It's difficult not to. I have the same question about my mother. Did she really go to Russia just to sew costumes?"

    "Doubtful. I called a friend of mine in the State Department. I asked him to check out the key players, Brady, Stan, and your mother."

    She flinched at the mention of her mother. "I guess you had to include her."

    "Ryan said he'd get back to me as soon as he could." He took a breath, then continued. "I did press Stan on my father's death, on the fact that he didn't do anything to investigate it. He said he received a threat against his family if he didn't mind his own business. Apparently that was enough to make him look the other way." Alex couldn't hide the scorn in his voice. "Hell of a friend he was."

    "Don't judge him too harshly. If they threatened his family, he was in a difficult spot."

    "Yeah, well, he should have found a way out of the spot. I would have."

    Julia gazed at him with her beautiful blue eyes, so full of emotion and concern for him that he had to fight not to put his arms around her. He clasped his hands tightly together and looked away.

    She put a hand on his knee, and he stiffened.

    "Are you hungry, Alex?"

    The question was not the one he'd been expecting. He had to think for a moment. "I guess."

    "I haven't eaten since that excuse for a breakfast we had on the plane."

    He glanced back at her. "Do you want to go out?"

    "Unless you're going to tell me you're a five-star chef?" she asked with a smile.

    He laughed at that. "1 never learned how to cook more than the basics, and I eat most of my meals on the run."

    "Do you have a favorite restaurant you go to when you're in town?"

    "No. Why don't you pick?"

    She hesitated. "There's a new Moroccan restaurant on Union Street. It's supposed to be good, just like the real thing. Although you've probably eaten in a real restaurant in Morocco, haven't you?"

    "Actually, that's one place I haven't been yet."

    Her eyes sparkled. "Then it will be an adventure for both of us. Are you game?"

    "I'm always game."

    "I've been wanting to try it, but it never seemed to be the right time. And Michael isn't an adventurous eater. It will be my treat. It's the least I can do." She smiled as she stood up. "I kind of like this, picking the restaurant, paying for my guest. I think I'll even drive."

    "Whoa, slow down. I'm driving."

    "You don't think I can drive?"

    "I like to be the driver."

    "So do I, and I've been the passenger every time we've driven so far. Come on, Alex. You can trust me. I promise not to hurt you."

    He sighed. "Fine, you drive. But I warn you, I am definitely a backseat driver, only you'll be hearing my comments from the front seat." As they left the apartment, Alex thought about what Julia had just promised. He didn't believe he was risking his life to ride in the car with her, but he had a distinct feeling that by spending more time together, he was definitely risking his heart. And the funny thing was that until Julia had entered his life, he'd almost forgotten he had a heart.

    Julia entered the restaurant, feeling as if she'd just stepped into another world. The tented ceiling, the thick brocade tapestries on the walls, took them straight to Morocco. They sat down on low, soft cushions, the room lit only by candles. It was a lush, sensual atmosphere, and Julia felt a shiver run down her spine as she glanced over at Alex. He was as comfortable here as he was anywhere. She'd never met a man who could adapt to any environment as easily as Alex did. He made whatever room he was in his own.

    A waiter came by to explain the menu and suggest drinks. As soon as he left, a beautiful woman entered and performed a belly dance for them. She seemed especially interested in drawing Alex's attention, and Alex seemed to enjoy every second of her performance. In fact, he looked as if he'd forgotten Julia was even present.

    It didn't matter, she told herself. They weren't on a date. They weren't involved. They weren't committed to each other. Alex could flirt with the belly dancer. Heck, he could take her home and sleep with her, and Julia wouldn't have a thing to say about it, except that she really wouldn't like it.

    Julia frowned at the turn of her thoughts. She took a sip of wine, relieved when the woman moved away. "She was pretty," she commented, feeling completely insincere.

    "Beautiful," he said with a smile. "I'd like to see you in one of those costumes."

    "I doubt that will ever happen. I'm far too inhibited." She licked her lips as his gaze roamed her face, as if he were searching for all her personal secrets. There were some things she didn't want to share with him.

    "Are you inhibited?" he asked. "Or is that just the way you've been raised to be?"

    "It's the same thing."

    "It's not. I believe we're influenced by our environment, the people in our lives."

    "I suppose that's true. My mother was very big on rules and doing the right thing, telling the truth, never going astray. She and my father made such a big, happy family life for us that it was easy to be content in it. It wasn't until she died that I started to look around and wonder what else I wanted. I must say it's difficult to believe she might have been the biggest liar of all." Every time Julia thought about the lies, her heart hurt.

    "She didn't lie about her love for you," Alex said in a tender voice. "She obviously took care of you, protected you, tried to make you happy. That's the important stuff, Julia."

    "I'm trying to focus on that, but it's not easy when I'm hit with a new problem every time I turn around."

    "You have had a busy week."

    "Tell me about it. I can't believe I just walked out and left my apartment in such horrible condition. I should have cleaned it up."

    "It will be there when you get back. What's your sister up to?"

    "I think she went to my dad's house." Julia sighed. "I don't want to talk about any of it right now. Do you think we could put a moratorium on the subject through dinner?"

    "Absolutely," he said with so much relief she had to laugh.

    "I'm glad you agree. You know, this is nice."

    "It's a cool restaurant."

    "I wasn't talking about the restaurant. I was talking about how good it feels to spend time with you-away from all the drama."

    "For a few minutes anyway," he said lightly, lifting his wineglass to hers. "To you, Julia, whoever you are."

    "Whoever I am," she echoed.

    An hour later they'd stuffed themselves on stewed vegetables, slices of fried eggplant, and a melt-in-your-mouth lamb dish. They'd also shared a lot of conversation about anything and everything, books, politics, religion, and world events. There was no topic that was out of bounds. They argued, debated, and laughed. Julia didn't think she'd ever laughed so much in her life, which made her feel guilty when she stopped to think for a minute. She should be sad that her engagement was over and that she'd probably hurt a very nice guy. Instead, she felt free. That was wrong. Yet it was right, too, and feeling bad wouldn't make Michael feel better. Hopefully time would open his eyes to who she really was and why they never would have been happy together. With that rationalization, she was able to put Michael out of her mind, as well as the rest of the problems in her life. She would have so many things to deal with tomorrow-her apartment, her mother, her past-but for the moment, she wanted to be carefree. And she couldn't have picked a better partner for this outing than Alex.

    She loved the way his mind worked. He was sharp, perceptive, interesting-a truly fascinating man. He lived a life that she wanted. Not the photography part, but the traveling part.

    "Do you think you'll ever quit?" she asked as they left the restaurant and headed toward the car. "Ever decide to stay in one place and just take pictures at the local mall?" she added with a teasing smile.

    "I'd rather shoot myself than work at the mall." He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm used to my life. It works. It's challenging, too. I love being able to get the shot that no one else can get."

    "And you really believe that your job is enough for you?"

    "It has been so far."

    "Even though I just broke off my engagement, I still want to get married-someday."

    "Of course you do."

    "Why do you say it like that?" she asked.

    "I said it before. Most women want to be married."

    "And most men-"

    "Want to have a lot of sex."

    "You can have a lot of sex in a marriage," she pointed out. She saw his teasing smile and had a feeling that no matter how hard she tried, she wasn't going to get a more serious answer out of him.

    "I'll keep that in mind," he said. "So, Julia, are we sleeping together tonight?"

    At his question, she almost tripped on the uneven sidewalk. "What?"

    "You heard me. You need a place to stay, don't you? I'm offering my bed."

    With you in it? She wanted to ask. Instead she said, "And where are you going to sleep?"