Don't Look Back (22 page)

“Yeah, right. I know how that works.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head, knowing there wasn’t a way to make him realize he was wrong, and knowing he hadn’t changed at all. Not even a little bit.

“Get out of my house before I call the police.” This time I had my cell phone in my pocket, but I didn’t reach for it, not wanting Trevor to know it was there.

He took a step toward me, his body language conveying his intention to hurt me, but stopped short when Greta growled at him.

Relief cascaded over me and my love for my sweet Greta grew immensely.

He looked at her and she bared her teeth and barked menacingly.

“I don’t need this,” Trevor muttered before turning away from me and walking out the door.

As soon as I’d locked the door, I burst into tears and sank to the floor. Greta pressed up against me and I wrapped my arms around her. “You’re such a good dog,” I sobbed. “Such a good girl.” She licked my face until I couldn’t help but laugh.

Once I’d gotten my emotions under control, I looked out the blinds to make sure Trevor had left, then checked the back door to make sure it was locked. I turned on the TV and stared at the program that was on, not really watching.

I tried to grasp what had happened and what the consequences would be. Trevor knew that Marcus was in my life. He assumed he was my boyfriend and now would be less cooperative about the divorce than before. Marcus had broken up with Marissa and had come to see me, but now he probably thought I was a liar, which I guess I was, and a married woman, which I guess I was too.

What a mess I’d made. I’d come here to make a fresh start, but now in some ways, things were worse than ever.

When I was too exhausted to think, I trudged up to bed, but slept fitfully all night, terrified that Trevor would come back and hurt me and the baby. Thankfully I had Greta with me. I knew she would protect me.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

The next day I didn’t have to work. The first thing I did was call an alarm company and have an alarm system put in. After jotting down the security code and putting it under the silverware holder in the kitchen drawer, I wondered how much safer the burglar alarm really made me. If the alarm was tripped, it would take the police a little time to reach me, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was set to deliver my baby in just a matter of weeks. I had a doctor I’d been seeing and I didn’t think running was the right answer. I just had to do all within my power to stay safe. I had Greta and now I had the alarm.

Over the next three weeks I didn’t see Trevor or Marcus. I wasn’t surprised not to see Marcus, but I was nervous that Trevor hadn’t made an appearance. I was constantly on edge, expecting him to show up when I was least prepared.

I was able to get through finals, which was a relief, then I settled in to wait to have my baby. A few days before my due date, it was my last day of work. I was afraid I’d be bored at home, just waiting, but I was so big now that it was uncomfortable to work anyway.

Though my baby was due any day, I decided to put up some Christmas decorations. Christmas was two weeks away and after I’d gone to all the trouble of getting my ornaments back, the least I could do was put them up. I drove to a nearby Christmas tree lot and bought a small tree, one that I could manage on my own.

Setting it up in the living room, I arranged my favorite ornaments on the tree and stood back, having a nice reminder of my childhood home. Warmth flowed through me as I thought back to the Christmases I’d spent with my dad. He’d always made an extra effort to make me feel special. Though I didn’t have any presents under the tree, I enjoyed the way the tree made the room feel more festive. Anyway, I didn’t need any presents; my new baby was the only present I wanted.

When my due date came and went, I felt disappointed and started to believe the baby would never come. Finally, two days later, my water broke. I wasn’t having any contractions yet, but knew I should get to the hospital. Scared to drive myself, I gathered the courage to call Trish and ask her to drive me to the hospital.

“Of course I’ll take you. I’ll be right there,” she said.

A few minutes later she pulled up to the house. I hurried out, my overnight bag in my hand, and made sure to set the alarm before locking the door.

“How are you feeling?” Trish asked as I climbed into her car.

“Okay. I haven’t had any contractions yet.” I paused. “I’m worried about my dog, Greta, though. I don’t have anyone to feed her while I’m gone.”

“I’d be happy to do it for you, Kate.”

I noticed she glanced at me when she said my name. Fairly certain Marcus had told her what had happened with Trevor several weeks before, I was mortified at what she must think of me and I ignored the implied question.

“I would really appreciate it.” I pulled my keys out of my purse and set them in the cup holder. Then I told her the alarm code. “Please make sure to set it when you leave.”

“Okay.”

A short time later we pulled up to the hospital

“Do you want me to come in with you?” she asked.

As the reality of what was happening became clear, I began to feel scared. I had some idea of what to expect, but since I had never been through giving birth before there was still so much I didn’t know. I longed to have someone with me to comfort me and support me. “Yes, I’d like that.”

We pulled into a parking space and walked in to the hospital together. I had pre-registered so it didn’t take long before we were taken to the labor and delivery area.

Trish waited in the hall while I got settled into a room. Hailey, the nurse assigned to me, checked my progress. It was still very early, but since my water had broken, they would keep me there.

Hailey put a monitor around my belly and Natalie’s heartbeat filled the room, loud and strong. A few minutes later Trish came in and sat by the bed.

“Are you sure you want me here, Kate?”

“If you don’t mind, I’d like you to stay.” Tears filled my eyes as I thought how pathetic I was. I barely knew my neighbor but I had no one else to be with me.

“I don’t mind,” she assured me with a warm smile.

A short time later I began having contractions. They were bearable, but I rested my head on the pillow and closed my eyes. After two hours, labor was not progressing very fast, so my doctor ordered Pitocin to get things going.

Soon after they gave me the Pitocin the labor pains became stronger. The nurse helped me with my breathing and I was better able to deal with the increased pain. Trish left for a while to get something to eat and when she came back she wasn’t alone.

“Marcus!” I said, delighted to see him. Even though I didn’t look my best, I was thrilled to see a friendly face.

He walked into the room as Trish stepped out. “I wasn’t sure if I should come,” he said, obviously uncertain if I wanted him there.

“I’m so glad you came,” I said. Then a powerful contraction overwhelmed me. Closing my eyes, I focused on my breathing. When I opened my eyes, I smiled at the look of terror on Marcus’ face.

“Should I get the nurse?” he asked.

“No, it’s okay. Come sit by me.” I motioned to the empty chair next to the bed and he sat down.

“Does it hurt a lot?” he asked.

“Yes. It does. But I just need to focus on what the end result will be.”

He laughed nervously. “Yeah, I guess.”

“I’m so glad you came, Marcus. Your mom has been so nice to stay, but I’m sure she has other things to do.” I hesitated, wondering if I was assuming too much. “Can you stay for a while?”

He grinned. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”

“Really? Thank you.” Another contraction hit me and I focused on dealing with that. When it was over I looked at Marcus. “I want to explain about what happened that night.” I was certain he knew what night I was talking about.

“You can explain it to me later. Right now you need to focus on you and your baby. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said as another, even stronger contraction rolled over me. As it faded I felt tears start. “Oh, Marcus, it hurts so much. I don’t know if I can do this.”

He took my hand. “It’s okay, Kate. I’ll stay right next to you. You’re doing great.”

“Another one’s starting,” I managed to say before a powerful wave of pain nearly crushed me. “I can’t stand it,” I gasped as it began to subside.

“Do you want me to get the nurse?” he asked, looking panicked.

“Yes,” I whispered.

He raced from the room and a moment later Hailey was there.

“How are we doing, honey?” she asked, completely cheerful.

“I don’t know. It hurts so bad.”

“Okay. Let me check and see how you’re coming along.”

“I’ll wait outside,” Marcus said before stepping out of the room.

“Is that the baby’s father?” Hailey asked as she checked my dilation.

“No, he’s just a friend.”

She finished checking. “You’re nearly there. I’m going to call the doctor and let him know.”

I nodded as another contraction started. Hailey helped me through it, then left to call the doctor.

Marcus came back in. “How’s it going?”

“She said it’s almost time to push. The doctor should be here soon.”

“Good,” he said, looking as relieved as I felt.

By the time the doctor got there, I’d had several more excruciating contractions. Though I could tell Marcus was distressed by my pain, he stayed with me the whole time.

“Are you ready to have this baby, Kate?”  Doctor Eggleston asked.

“Yes.”

“I think I’ll wait outside,” Marcus murmured to me.

“I’d like you to stay,” I said.

“Are you sure?”

“You’ve been here for the hard parts. You don’t want to miss the finale, do you?”

He smiled. “No.”

“What’s your name, young man?” Doctor Eggleston asked.

“Marcus.”

“Okay, I want you to help Kate sit up a bit. And Kate, on the next contraction I want you to push as hard as you can.”

With Marcus’ help I was able to partially sit up. Hailey and another nurse assisted the doctor. The doctor glanced at the monitor. “Okay, get ready, Kate. And push!”

I strained and pushed as hard as I could.

“Good,” Doctor Eggleston said. “Relax for a moment until the next one.”

Marcus helped me lay back until the next contraction came. After several pushes, Marcus began to vocally encourage me to push as well.

Finally, about thirty minutes later Doctor Eggleston said, “I see her head, Kate. She’s almost here.”

Encouraged by the progress, I pushed even harder on the next contraction.

“There’s her head,” Doctor Eggleston said. “One more push and she’ll be out.”

During the next contraction I pushed with all my might.

She was out! The pain immediately ended and relief swept over me. A moment later Natalie started wailing.

“Would you like to cut the cord, Marcus?” Doctor Eggleston asked.

Marcus looked at me and I nodded. He took the scissors from the doctor’s hand and carefully cut the cord. The nurses cleaned Natalie, cleared her nose and mouth, and wrapped her in a warm blanket before handing her to me. She continued to cry.

“Hi, baby girl,” I murmured. At the sound of my voice, she immediately stopped crying. I held her to me, falling in love instantly and completely.

“She’s beautiful, Kate,” Marcus said, visibly awed by the whole experience.

“She is, isn’t she?” I gazed at my new baby daughter. She had a mass of dark hair on her head and her eyes were the same vivid blue as Trevor’s.

Trevor, I suddenly thought. He has a right to know his baby has been born. I pushed the thought aside, wanting only to revel in the joy of my new baby girl.

I turned to Marcus. “Thank you so much for being here. You made it so much better.”

His incredible green eyes sparkled more than usual as a wide grin lit his face.

“Okay, mommy,” the nurse said. “We’re going to move you to your room.”

A short time later I was settled in my room, Natalie tucked securely in my arms.

“I’m going to take off and let you rest,” Marcus said.

“Okay.”

“If you want, I can come back later.”

I smiled. “I’d like that.”

“All right.” He leaned over and looked at Natalie. “She’s beautiful.”

“Thanks.”

I watched as he left my room. Then I allowed myself to think about Trevor. I considered when I should tell him his daughter was here.

I’ll wait until I’m back home, I decided after only a moment.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

The next day, as I nursed Natalie, I gazed at her and my love for her filled me to overflowing. I never knew I could love another person so much. Snuggling her closer to me, I gazed at her sweet face.

When I heard the door to my hospital room open, I looked up, expecting to see an orderly brining my lunch. Instead I gasped as Trevor walked in the room.

“Trevor. How did you know I was here?”

He walked toward me, his eyes on Natalie. “When you were gone all day, I figured you might be having the baby. And I was right.” His eyes met mine and he smiled. “She’s so beautiful. Can I hold her?”

Instinctively, my arms tightened around my precious baby girl. “She’s eating right now.”

“I can see that,” he said, watching Natalie nurse.

I pulled the sheet up to cover myself, feeling exposed.

“Oh come on, Lily. It’s not like I haven’t seen them before.”

Ignoring his comment, I adjusted the sheet so I could see Natalie.

Trevor sat in the empty chair next to my bed, making it clear he was in no hurry to leave.

“How did you know I had been gone all day? Have you been watching my house?”

He grinned. “I stopped by to see you and you weren’t home. I knew you’d stopped working and I knew it was getting close to your time to have the baby. It wasn’t hard to figure out.”

“Oh.” It sounded reasonable enough. I decided to be civil for all our sakes. “Were you able to find a job?”

“Yes, I was. And an apartment too.”

I nodded. “Where are you working?”

“At a shop in town. You wouldn’t know where it is.”