Don't Look Back (15 page)
Authors: Josh Lanyon
Peter nodded. He had no idea if it was true or not. Too soon to tell.
Mike nodded too, as though this confirmed his own thoughts. He didn't say anything else until they reached the bungalow. Peter fumbled for his keys, got the door open, and felt around for a light.
The living room looked weirdly untouched. He had that sensation again of being in a museum. He had lived here for how many years? And he had never felt as at home here as he had in Mike's apartment. Suddenly, he wondered what they were even doing there.
Mike cleared his throat. “Hey."
Peter looked at him.
"You ... you did great tonight."
"Thanks. So did you."
Maybe the wryness showed, because Mike said, “Peter, I didn't tell you about the backup because you're not very good at hiding your feelings."
"And yet you thought I was capable of faking amnesia and stealing from my own museum."
Mike grimaced.
"It doesn't matter,” Peter said. “You're right. I probably would have given the whole thing away.” He gave a short laugh. “I thought Herschel was going to kill you."
Mike's gaze slid back to his. “Sorry. I mean that."
"It's okay."
"You ... er ... got the rest of your memory back, didn't you?"
"Yes.” Peter was surprised. “How did you know?"
Mike raised a dismissive shoulder, and it occurred to Peter that he was nervous. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he did. Something else: Mike was hovering. He wasn't much of a hoverer, but it was clear he didn't want to walk away, and Peter felt his hope rise.
"Not sure. Something in your voice changed. Your stance too."
"I remembered, yes.” Not that it really helped. Other than to clarify exactly how much he had to be depressed about, because six months ago Mike had been very definite that it was over between them. And Mike was not a man given to easily changing his mind—despite the fact that he was still standing in Peter's living room looking like he wasn't sure what to do with himself.
"So what are your plans now?"
"Well, I'm still out of a job and a place to live, but at least I'm not going to jail."
Mike took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “If you need a place to stay—I mean, until you figure out what you want to do—you can stay with me."
In the pause that followed Mike's words, Peter could hear the distant crackle of police car radios.
"Mike, I'm sorry about before. When you told me to make up my mind and decide if I wanted a real relationship with you or a pretend relationship with Cole, and I chose ... It was a big mistake."
"So you said before.” Mike sighed. “Hell. I guess I could have been a little more tactful. A little more patient."
"I could have been a little smarter."
"That's for sure.” Mike relented slightly. “But maybe I could have been a little more honest too, because what we had was worth some extra effort."
Peter gathered his courage. “Was?"
Mike stared at him for what seemed a long time. “Is,” he said finally.
One word. And such a little word to contain so much hope. Peter said carefully, because if he had this wrong the disappointment was probably going to kill him, “I thought that door wasn't open anymore."
"So did I.” Mike shrugged. Then, as he studied Peter's face, his wolfish grin appeared. He reached for Peter. “But I've been wrong before."
Josh Lanyon is the author of numerous novellas and short stories as well as the critically praised Adrien English mystery series.
The Hell You Say
was shortlisted for a Lambda Literary Award and is the winner of the 2006 USABookNews awards for GLBT fiction. In 2008, Josh released
Man, Oh Man: Writing M/M/Fiction for Kinks and Ca$h
, the definitive guide to writing for the m/m or gay romance market. Josh lives in Los Angeles, California, and is currently at work on his next manuscript.
