Don't Let Go (17 page)

Later that night, we are making love and Brady is exploring my body. I have come to realize he loves to slowly relish every inch. I’m not complaining; I thoroughly enjoy it as well. When he gets to my outer thigh, I tense. There are small light lines of stretch marks from when I lost the weight. Although they are barely visible, I know they’re there and I hate it that Brady sees them. He doesn’t skip a beat and kisses that area multiple times before coming back up to me. When he kisses me, he says nothing about them, as though they don’t exist. I’m in awe of him again. Where did this man come from?

We are naked, wrapped up in a blanket and stretched out on the chaise lounge in front of the windows while firecrackers go off above the Falls. Out of this whole weekend, this is by far the most romantic moment. Brady nuzzles his head close to my ear and I hear his small oohs and ahhs when the bursts of colored flames light up the sky. I know now that I’m completely his.

The room is dark when I open my eyes, the lights of the Falls long gone. I notice first that I’m alone on the chaise. Where is Brady? I see the bathroom light on so I get up to move over to the bed when I hear him talking.

“Maura, I told you. I’m out of town. You will have to do it this time. I’m sorry,” he says, his voice angry but compassionate at the same time. “I deal with it all the time.”

“I know you have obligations,” his voice starts to sound drained.

“Okay…I’ll try to call someone, but I can’t make any promises.”

“Kara? No, I’m not calling her. She has some kind of stalker thing going on with me recently.”

“Yeah, I’m with her.”

“She’s asleep.”

“Listen Maura, I’ll figure it out but I can’t keep doing this. I’ll stop by when I get home tomorrow.”

I fumble back to the chaise and pretend to be asleep, but Brady doesn’t come back out yet. I hear his muffled voice talking to someone else. All I can catch is thank you and that he owes them one. He turns off the light in the bathroom before he opens the door. I close my eyes and try to slow my heartbeat. Brady picks me up off the chaise and places me on the bed before curling up behind me. “God…I hope you love me half as much as I love you. You’ll have to in order to deal with this bullshit,” he says softly before I eventually feel his body relax into mine.

Chapter 17

Brady drops me off at my dorm and walks me to my room. I’m reluctant to leave him; I don’t want us to separate. He tells me he will call me tonight, but he appears distracted now. I wish he would let me in, maybe I could help him. He gives me no reason to worry, kissing me before he leaves and telling me how much he loves me. If he is cheating on me, he would win the Oscar for best actor.

I open the door to my room and Jessa isn’t there; she must still be at the boys’ house. Everything starts to float in my head now that I’m alone. Where is Brady going now? I can’t help but feel a little upset that he hasn’t shared his problems with me when I have revealed everything to him. I decide if I’m going to be naked around Brady all the time, I better keep my body halfway decent. I look up the schedule for fitness classes and decide to go to a spin class.

On my way there, I notice that Vodka Vince’s bench is vacant and I wonder if he ever got a coat or has somewhere to stay during the winter. I get to the class in plenty of time, so I adjust my bike and hop on. Slowly, I let my legs warm up for the work-out they will soon endure. The class starts to fill up and I’m relieved when Kara isn’t in attendance. The instructor comes in. A god-like male creature, but way too drill sergeant for me. He hops on his bike and his legs move a mile a minute, while he spouts out facts about the bike and what route we will take. The door opens and a lady in her thirties hurries over to the bike next to me.

“Sorry everyone,” she says and puts her water bottle down, climbing on the bike. “It’s been one of those days.” It takes me a couple seconds before I figure out she’s talking to me. “Kids have been crazy, family drama. You don’t know about that yet, but you will someday.” She smiles over at me. Her hair is up in a sloppy ponytail on the top of her head. Her shorts and shirt are mismatched, as though it took every ounce of energy for her just to get here. I wonder how she will complete the work-out since she already appears exhausted.

“Oh, yeah…I’m sure I will,” I respond and smile her way.

“Let’s go, you two in the back…stop talking and start pedaling,” Mr. Drill Sergeant yells from the front of the class.

“Sorry, Chad,” the lady screams out to him over the music. “He only cares about our physical well-being. What about our emotional well-being? Sometimes you just need to vent, ya know?” she continues to talk and I’m torn what to do.

“Anytime now, Professor O’Brien,” Chad jokes and winks her way. Apparently they know each other.

“I’ll remember this in class on Tuesday,” she laughs.

For the rest of the class, this lady to my left entertains us with her quick wit and funny outbursts. She is a spitfire and I instantly want to befriend her. The class ends and she says her goodbye to me, making some joke about how one day I will have to work my ass off to keep up that body. If she only knew.

I don’t bother with the locker room today. Instead, I throw Brady’s sweatshirt on and head home. A surprise greets me when I walk up the hill. I spot the professor who was just spinning next to me, towering over Vodka Vince. They appear to be in a heated, one-sided argument. Vince seems unfazed by her words and instead of responding, he just stares my way. She looks back and sees me, giving me a tight smile and a small wave of her hand before she shakes her head and storms off.

Brady’s words ring in my ear to stay away. Our relationship is going so well; the last thing I want to do is make him angry, but Vince looks almost hopeful that I come over. As I pass him by, I see Professor O’Brien speed off in her black SUV.

“Hey ya, Sadie,” he says and I glance up, confused.

“How do you know my name?” I hesitantly ask.

“Grant. That’s a good boy, you know?”

“Yes, I know.”

“Have a seat, let’s chat,” he states and pats the seat next to him.

“Thank you,” I accept, wondering what on earth we are going to talk about.

“So, Grant says you don’t see him much anymore. That you got yourself a possessive boyfriend?” he questions.

“Unfortunately, I haven’t seen Grant. I do have a boyfriend, but I wouldn’t say he’s possessive…just protective.” I shrug my shoulders, curious why I’m even having this conversation.

“Protective is good, possessive is not,” he deadpans.

“Is Grant your good friend?” I ask.

“I’ve known him his whole life,” he answers.

“Oh,” I say, surprised.

“Well, it was nice chatting with you, Sadie.” Vince ends the conversation, stands up, and walks down the hill.

“You too, Vince,” I call out to him. He turns around, as though shocked I knew his name.

When I get back to my dorm, Jessa is back.

“So, tell me.” She is eager to find out the details.

“Absolutely amazing,” I sigh, falling into my chair.

“Oh, I’m so happy for you, Sadie. See what happens when you let it all out,” she explains.

“I do. I’ve told Brady everything about Drayton. He knows about the guys, about Craig the loser, and Theo and the fight. You were right, it feels good to have it off my chest,” I respond, hoping Brady will feel the same one day and share his secrets with me.

“Yeah, Brady looked completely relaxed when he came home,” she discloses. “Then he left right away. I thought maybe he was coming over here.”

“Nope, I worked out,” I state, knowing he was doing something secretive.

“Oh,” she sighs and gives me curious eyes.

“I trust him, Jessa, it’s alright. We don’t have to be together every minute,” I say and place my hand on her knee.

“Oh God, I know. I don’t think Brady is the cheating type,” she rapidly answers, making sure I don’t get the wrong impression. She still looks sad, and for the first time I think she might know something I don’t.

I’m studying Algebra when my phone chimes. “Hey baby,” I answer.

“Sadie? It’s your mother,” a woman’s voice comes over the phone instead of my boyfriend’s.

“Sorry. Hi, Mom,” I state. I’m still on the fence about going home for Thanksgiving. I want to stick around here with Brady.

“So, your flight is booked. You get in Thursday morning at ten. Dad will meet you outside after you get your baggage,” she gives me my instructions. As much as I wish I could stay here, they would never understand if I don’t come home.

“Alright, see you then,” I agree, ready to hang up.

“Sweetheart, how is everything going? We haven’t talked to you much.”

“Fine, everything is fine. I will see you Thursday,” I say.

“Okay, well it’s just the four of us this year. Me, you, dad, and grandma,” she informs me.

“Sounds good…see you then,” I say, attempting to end the conversation again.

“I love you, Sadie,” she says.

“You too, Mom,” I say back and hang up the phone.

I lie in my bed and fiddle with my phone, waiting for it to ring. It never does. Jessa crawls up to her bed and we face each other. She sees it on my face, the disappointment of Brady not calling.

“I’m sure he just got tied up, Sadie. Maybe he has an exam or paper due,” she says, trying to make me feel better.

“Thanks, Jessa. I told him I loved him this weekend,” I confess.

“You did?” she exclaims, her voice rising a couple octaves. “What did he say back?”

“He said he has wanted to say it for weeks but didn’t want to scare me.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured,” she says.

“You really think he loves me, Jessa?” My insecurity is coming back full force because he hasn’t called.

“Not a doubt in my mind, Sadie. That boy is head over heels in love with you…he just…needs to get his shit together.” I don’t say anything, unsure of what Jessa means. Brady always seems like the most put-together person I know.

My eyes start to droop before my phone dings.

B
– Sorry baby, had some last minute stuff. If you’re awake, call me. If not, I hope you are dreaming of me. Love you.

I decide not to call him. Instead, I put my phone down and fall asleep.

Chapter 18

I’m awakened by my phone dinging.

B
– Good morning, beautiful. It’s not the same waking up without you. I have  been spoiled beyond repair. Meet me at Student Center at ten? Love you.

Me
– See you there! Love you.

After my restless night’s sleep, I agree with Brady. Sleeping is hard without him next to me. I sit up to get ready for class. I have an eight a.m. and then I will meet Brady before he walks me to Algebra.

When I get to the Student Center, I’m surprised to find Brady talking with Kara and a pang of jealousy hits me. When he spots me, he stands up and waves good-bye to her. He already has two coffees in his hand as he walks over at me. He rests them at the nearest table before he embraces me and lifts my feet off the ground.

“What a nice hello,” I say.

“God…I missed you. How the hell am I supposed to go this whole weekend without you?” he asks. Thanksgiving weekend is going to suck.

“I’m sure you’ll manage,” I say and glance Kara’s way. I wish I could take the words back. I have to remember, I trust him.

“She’s starting to freak me out a little. You might have to start a cat fight, baby,” he jokes. I see Kara, blatantly staring at us with dislike written all over her face.

“I don’t know babe, she might be able to take me. She seems kind of scrappy,” I admit and giggle.

“Spend the night tonight,” he says, trying to change the topic.

“Okay,” I agree. How could I not?

“Great…here’s your coffee.” He picks it up and hands it to me.

“Thanks,” I exclaim, kissing his cheek.

“You can thank me later,” he teases.

“Brady, what are doing for Thanksgiving?” I ask.

“Um…I haven’t really decided yet. I have some family in town and I’ve been invited for dinner.” His mood comes down a little.

“Are all the guys going home?” I question.

“Yeah, they’ve all asked me to come but I would never impose.”

“What about your parents?” I can’t help but dig for information; he has given nothing so far.

“My mom is in Florida with her new husband. I’m not very close with her. My dad isn’t going to be around so I don’t know. Mrs. Fletcher invited me over to her house, so maybe I’ll just swing by there. When do you leave?” he asks, changes the subject. I can’t help but feel bad that his parents don’t care to spend the holiday with him.

“Thursday morning. Do you want to come home with me?” I ask the question before I can think of the repercussions.

“Really?” he asks disbelievingly.

“Yes, why do you look so surprised?”

“I’m pretty sure your parents won’t be happy when they see me come off that plane with you.” He smiles at me and a twinge of guilt hits. He’s right. But I love him and my parents are going to have to face us at some point.

“Who cares? Come home with me,” I beg.

“Are you sure you’re ready to deal with this, Sadie?” he asks, and I can’t help but feel he has no faith in us.

“Yes, I love you. Either they accept you or lose me,” I state and he quirks an eyebrow my way.

He releases a deep breath before saying, “I love you. I would be happy to escort you home for Thanksgiving.”

“Thank you, Mr. Carsen,” I joke.

That evening, we book the same flight for Brady as I have. He demands to pay, even though I offer. We were lucky there is a seat left since my flight is on Thanksgiving Day. I guess people prefer to get to their destination earlier.

I call my mom to inform her that Brady is coming home with me. She seems hesitant but says okay. She keeps me on the phone, asking me questions about him. What fraternity is he in? What do his parents do? Where does he live? I finally tell her that he is in a band, not a fraternity. I don’t know what his parents do, but they seem like jackasses since they don’t try to see him on holidays. He has lived here his whole life. She is silent for a minute before happily saying she can’t wait to meet him.
Yeah right!