Don't Label Me! (2 page)

They hadn’t been particularly wealthy but
they’d been comfortable. Her father, a Tamil of the Brahmin caste,
had been as good as disowned by his family when he’d married
Sathi’s Suddah mother, rejecting the arranged marriage his family
had planned for him and marrying for love instead. An honest hard
working man he’d worked in administration. Marked as a traitor by
his kind he had never progressed into management but his public
servant income had been enough. Enough to give Sathi and her
brothers a life of relative comfort and ease.

They’d avoided the civil tensions that had
surrounded their world. Their simple but spacious family home had
been a kind of neutral Switzerland. Sri Lankans, whether they were
Sinhalese, Tamil, Veddha or international expatriates, all had been
welcome through its gate, as long as they left all sectarian
conflict at the door.

Even feeling shocked and numbed Sathi still
sought answers. “Why Shiva?” Why indeed had the gods visited such
desolation on such good and kind people. What karma had been
cleansed by this wasting of lives? She didn’t know the answers
anymore than she knew what she’d do with her life now. Go and live
with her Veddha relatives in the mountains? While she enjoyed her
visits there it was still a primitive life. She hadn’t spent her
post school years at business school to end up grinding flour and
picking mangos for a living. There was only one place she could
find any of her answers and that was within herself. She wouldn’t
find the peace needed for that kind of reflection here. Lacking the
resources to rebuild her home she knew there was nothing for her in
this place. She turned and headed towards Swami Rock and to the
ancient temple that adorned it.

Outside the doors of the main shrine she
stopped momentarily to ditch her sandals and wash her hands.
Straightening her hair and clothes. She really needed a shower
after her long train trip and the morning’s ordeal. She hoped the
gods would forgive her given her need. Inside a priest sat in
meditation at the back of the main chamber, discretely guarding the
shrine but keeping a respectful distance from the devotees that
came. Sathi took off her small pack and placed it beside her.
Seating herself in a simple half lotus she closed her eyes and
sought the peace within as her father had taught her. She was no
mainstream hindu by any means.

Her parents had taught her a mix of
simplified, almost secular Hinduism and ancient Dravidian Tamil
beliefs. Her father had had little time for complex rituals and
memorisation of the old books. Instead he had taught her the ideas
behind it all. That Shiva represented a god who was both in the
time-bound world and also beyond it, or in the jargon of the
theologians, he was at once both immanent and transcendent. All
things and beings existed within Shiva and were expressions of
Shiva. More radically her father had believed that Shiva
represented the ultimate divine essence behind most world
philosophies, religions and mythologies, not just Hindu. In
contrast her Veddha mother had taught her respect for nature,
whether that nature was ants or snakes or ancient groves of trees.
That worship could be through dance, music or even daily life of
work and household chores. Life lived with gratitude and respect
for all things was the greatest ritual of all, at least that was
what her mother had taught her.

So Sathi didn’t chant any mantras,
light any incense or bow to the statue. She simply sought within
for the answers, seeking by not grasping. She emptied her mind by
watching her breath and letting go of her sorrow. Then she formed a
simple clear question in her mind.
What do
you want me to do now Shiva?
A vast spacious
nothingness was her only reply. No ideas came. She sat with her
contemplation for a while but no answers came. It was almost as if
Shiva wasn’t giving her an answer because the decision was all up
to her. Releasing her frustration she reached out to a more
personal god, one the Tamils called Ammam.
Great goddess give me a sign. Show me my path forward.
Still nothing. Frustrated she opened her eyes and was stunned
to see a dew laden lotus blossom laying at her feet. It hadn’t been
there before. Puzzled she bent to pick it up and study
it.

“
Show me!” The startled voice of the
priest who now stood beside her shook her from her
wonder.

Sathi passed him the bloom. “It just
appeared at my feet.”

“
What were you praying
for?”

“
Just a sign. A bit of guidance about
what I’m to do now my home and family are gone.”

The priest sat himself down beside her. “The
lotus symbolizes transcendence. Show me your palm.” He studied it
closely. “What is your name and date of birth?”

She told him and he seemed to turn inward
for a moment, making some kind of mental calculation. When he
finished he stared back at her. “Your palm says you must travel
over water. Only in a new land will you find your true destiny and
your future mate. Your destiny number is five. You will become
either a business woman or a sensuous entertainer of some kind, a
negotiator or networker. When you rise from the mud of your
short-term future you will become like the lotus. Your inner beauty
and poise will be an inspiration to others. You have a part to play
in transforming mainstream thinking, helping to build the world to
come.”

Sathi doubted his pronouncement. Business
woman she could relate to but sensuous entertainer she greatly
doubted. “But where should I go? I haven’t exactly got the kind of
money needed to buy a passage to another country. From what I know
of it it’s a risky proposition at best.”

“
Yes there will be risks but in a land
of freedom you will find room to grow.”

“
A land of freedom?
America?”

“
No, somewhere else. A people loyal to
their friends and family but at times abrupt, even rude in their
honesty and lack of diplomacy. Yet they are strong and refuse to
conform. They chase their desires but have an energy and courage
that will achieve much.”

“
Where?”

“
Australia. It’s name gives a destiny
number of four. But within it you will need to find a home that has
the value of two.”

“
What’s so special about a
two?”

“
The people there will be spiritual
and truth loving. A little skeptical of establishment I think. They
seek harmony and peace but are tough fighters if provoked. Their
community will be a place of great healing and reflect the cosmic
truths to all.”

“
A place like that exists on the
planet? It sounds like some kind of utopian paradise.”

“
A paradise that has many enemies I
would think.”

“
How do I even get to Australia? They
don’t exactly encourage refugees. A decade or more in one of their
offshore prisons only to be sent back wouldn’t achieve much and
that’s only if I survived a trip in a leaky boat I couldn’t
afford.”

The priest mused a moment, seemly not sure
whether to part with what was on the tip of his tongue. Then he
sighed. “I am prompted to say this but I believe there is danger in
it. There is man. Not one to be trusted I think but I can speak
with him if you wish.”

“
Please. Is there anywhere I can stay
while I wait? Anything I can do in return for your
kindness?”

The priest smiled. “Stay and guard the
shrine for me while I go and make some calls.” He showed her some
of his cleaning gear. “Give the room a sweep and I’ll share some
food with you when I return.”

Three days later she stood in the dark,
dusty and dingy office of Mr Ravi Singh. An array of documents
covered his desk, including a passport with her name and photo on
it.

“
So here’s the deal Miss
Rupasinghe. The documents are in order. All we
need is for you to sign your indenture papers promising to work for
us for the next ten years. You will be travelling aboard a merchant
vessel. Unfortunately due to the tsunami debris in the harbour we
will need to helicopter you out to it. If you could have yourself
and whatever possessions you have back here by 3 pm. I’ll make
arrangements for the pickup.” He handed her a pen to sign. “Any
questions?”

Sathi cautiously fingered
the indenture agreement. “I appreciate all you’ve done at such
short notice Mr Singh. I just have one question. Do you happen to
know what kind of work I will be doing for your
company?”

Ravi grave her a lopsided
grin that gave little cause for confidence. “You’ll be working in
customer service I believe. Looking after well heeled business
clients. Something for which you should be admirably qualified.”
His eyes raked her body making Sathi wonder whether he was
referring to her business qualifications or her physical
attributes. Still she couldn’t be choosey and she didn’t want to
offend the man and lose the deal.

“Well that sounds better
than sewing garments for sixteen hours a day in some factory, I
guess that’s what I feared.”

Ravi laughed. “Oh no, we
would never do that to you. Trust me Miss Rupasinghe when I say we
have great plans for you. The hours will not be onerous either, 6pm
to midnight. You’ll get 30% of all profit to keep for yourself,
minus food and board. Of course you will also have to pay tax on
what you earn.”

The hours were odd but it
sounded reasonable. More than reasonable when the alternative was a
risky boat trip, detention and a long wait for refugee status. She
picked up the pen, saying a quick mental prayer to Amman,
goddess protect me
. Then
she signed.

The helicopter flight was
exhilarating but the view of the tsunami devastation was sobering.
As conflicting emotions jostled within her she took the offered
hand of the young sailor with rumpled auburn hair, a wispy beard
and eyes of almost emerald green and stepped onto the deck of the
waiting merchant vessel.

“Captain Borzilov is
waiting for you miss. Please follow me.”

Hoisting her small
backpack with her meagre belongings she followed the young sailor
to meet her temporary boss for the next few weeks. Mr Singh had
said he worked for the same organisation that now effectively owned
her.

The captain was at the
helm. He seemed busy, discussing weather and routes with some of
the crew. Then he turned and appraised her with a slow and sweeping
glance. “Nice.”

He stepped down from the
helm and walked on over, taking his time to detour a circuit around
her. She was obviously under some kind of inspection. Sathi kept
her cool, back straight but avoiding looking at him directly until
he spoke again. She didn’t want him thinking she was
brash.

Coming closer he took her
chin in his hand, turning her head. He seemed to be inspecting her
for scars and blemishes.

“And you are healthy?” he
asked.

“Yes Sir.”

“Good. That’s what we like
to hear but I’ll have the ship’s doctor give you the once over
before you go to your cabin to commence your training?”

“Training Sir?” She was
already proficient in accounts, touch typing, stenography and
publication layout. She’d shown Mr Singh her qualifications. What
did she need training in? Maybe Mr Singh hadn’t informed the
captain. “I’ve graduated from business school Sir, I’m sure you’ll
find my qualifications in order.”

The captain laughed
heartily, disconcertingly. “Ms Rupasinghe, we didn’t hire you for
your business skills.”

“Sir, I don’t mean to
sound rude but what did I get hired for then?”

“Why a prostitute of
course. Did you really think we’d go to all the trouble to get you
forged travel documents, whisk you away from all that devastation
in a helicopter and pay your food and board for the next few weeks
sailing just so you could take the minutes of our
meetings?”

Shit. Why hadn’t she
stopped to think it was all too good to be true. Hell, how did she
get herself out of this?

The captain watched her
with eagle eyed, almost expressionless intent. “Before you even
think of pleading your case or maybe jumping ship and taking your
chances with the sharks let me lay down a few cold hard facts. We
now own you. We will do what we want with you. If you try to avoid
your fate, if you try to run or jump ship, I will hand you over to
my crew to use until we reach our destination. I can assure you my
crew can be very inventive and they haven’t been onshore for quite
some time. They have a lot of frustrated male hormones to unleash.
Perhaps they’ll hand you from one to another or maybe they’ll just
enjoy you as a group. Who knows, they may even be kind enough to
feed you and let you sleep occasionally. I’ll leave it in their
capable hands. It will be a training of sorts for your new
profession. Of course you won’t be worth much to us by the time the
crew is finished with you but we’ll still get a dollar or two out
of you, servicing the scum in the seedier down market whorehouses.
I hear whisper that the pimps in those places like to forcibly
addict their charges to heroin so they can never pay off their
debt.“

“Alternatively...” He
paused for effect. “ You can accept your fate. I have hired a
highly skilled trainer who will teach you and turn you into a high
class product by the time we reach port. The more money you earn
when you reach your destination the quicker you can pay off your
considerable debt. So tell me Ms Rupasinghe, which future do you
choose?”