Don't Cry for Me (4 page)

“Don’t worry, kid. I’m not going anywhere without you.”

* * *

By the time they said their goodbyes and he got her to the Jeep, the pain pills were having enough of an effect that she was feeling some relief. He put a pillow on the passenger seat before helping her inside.

“The Jeep’s shocks aren’t as good as the SUV’s, but if you sit on this pillow I think it’ll help.”

“You don’t need to worry about me,” she said, as Quinn reached across and buckled her in.

He was so close she could feel the warmth of his breath against her skin. What she was thinking was disconcerting in the midst of so much pain. Then he turned, and she found herself caught in his gaze.

“What happens if I want to worry about you?” he asked.

Longing washed through her. “I don’t know. I guess I can’t stop you, can I?”

Quinn’s pulse was racing. He was so close he could almost taste the kiss, but he wouldn’t go there. Not until she was standing on her own two feet and no longer dependent on him for her care. It wouldn’t be fair, and if he had a chance in hell of rebuilding this relationship they had to start on equal ground.

He winked to lighten the moment, then backed out of the Jeep and closed the door. By the time he got inside, she had her emotions in check.

“I know you must be exhausted, but this is the last leg of the trip. Once we get to the cabin you can sleep, relax and watch some TV, whatever you want.”

“I’m okay. The pain pills are kicking in.”

“Good. Next time, don’t wait so long, okay?”

“I won’t.”

She waved at Ryal and Beth, who were standing on the porch, then leaned back against the seat as he drove away.

“Your family is really nice.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty special, but they’re also nosy. You’ll probably meet more of them than you’re ready for over the next few weeks.”

She shrugged. “I’ll take my chances.”

“Just don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he muttered.

Mariah grinned. “Take a breath, Quinn. I’ve been fighting insurgents for almost five years. I’m not afraid of your family.”

The smile on her face was like a breath of fresh air. It was the first time since they’d left the hospital that he’d gotten even a glimpse of the Mariah he’d known before. It gave him hope that the rest of her was in there somewhere, waiting until it was safe to come out.

When they got back to the main road he turned left and headed up the mountain. Just a little bit farther and they would be home.

It didn’t take long for Mariah to notice the houses they were passing. Some were bunched together in twos and threes, and others were set so far back off the road all she saw was the driveway and the roof. A lot of them were in varying stages of disrepair. She knew what it meant to choose food over shelter.

Most of the vehicles she saw were up on blocks or were being stripped for parts. Children playing in their yards paused and waved as they drove past. A couple even gave chase until called back by a family member keeping watch from a nearby porch. It was obvious that the job market around here was weak.

Quinn caught the changing expressions on her face as they drove and couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking.

“I’m guessing this lifestyle is pretty foreign to you,” he said.

Mariah frowned. “The rural part, yes, but the obvious poverty, not so much. Some of my foster homes weren’t much better, and after I aged out of the system I was homeless. I would have gladly chosen any of these houses rather than sleeping in an abandoned building or a sewer pipe with a half dozen others just like me. In fact, these people are all better off than me. If not for you, I would be homeless again.”

“You never said anything about being homeless before,” he said.

She shrugged. “Why would I? We were too busy trying to stay alive to dwell on what I’d left behind me. I never thought I’d come back all messed up, or that I’d be right back where I started before I signed up. No, that’s not the truth. I have a ways to go to get back where I started.”

“And you have all the time you need to do it,” Quinn said.

She frowned then shook her head. “I can’t stay with you forever.”

“You’re not looking at this from the right angle. All you need to do is take one day at a time, honey. One day at a time.”

She leaned back and then sighed. “You’re right. As usual, I want everything put back together yesterday so I can get on with tomorrow.”

Quinn frowned. “If you think like that, then you forget to live for today.”

She’d never thought of life that way before. It was something to consider.

A short while later he began pointing out places of interest, and her focus shifted.

“My brother James and his wife live down that road,” he said. “They have two of the cutest kids.”

“Beth told me she’s an illustrator and Ryal makes furniture. What does James do?” Mariah asked.

“He farms a little tobacco, but his main job is with the postal service. He’s the mail carrier for all of Rebel Ridge and parts south.”

“I don’t mean this to sound prejudiced, but how come your family seems to have a higher standard of living than a lot of your neighbors?”

“I don’t know. There are plenty of others like us. We find ways to support ourselves knowing we won’t ever be rich, but we know how to be happy with what we have. The people on Rebel Ridge aren’t any different from people down in the city. Some are willing to settle for less, some aren’t. It’s just a fact of life.”

“Do you have a job you go to every day?”

He nodded. “I work for the Daniel Boone National Forest Service as a backcountry ranger. I’m not in constant contact with the public like some rangers, which suits me.”

“Then what
do
you do?”

He shrugged. “It varies. Just before I went to get you we had two hikers go missing.”

“Did you find them?” Mariah asked, and then knew from the set of his jaw that something had gone wrong. “I know that look,” she said. “What happened? Couldn’t you find them?”

“No, I found them, but one was dead and the other severely injured.”

“Oh, no. What happened?”

“They were attacked by a rogue bear, but that was on the other side of the mountain. He killed one. The other managed to get away. He was in bad shape when I found him.”

She shuddered, her eyes widening as she peered into the trees lining the road. “Did you kill the bear?”

“Last I heard they were still tracking him. But don’t worry, they’ll find him and do what they have to.”

She shuddered and wrapped her arms around her waist. “What else is up here that I need to be concerned about?”

“If I had to guess, I’d say that would be me. I snore. I have some serious flashbacks that turn into living nightmares, and I’ve been known to shout in my sleep.”

She rolled her eyes. “At least now I know I won’t have to worry about making a fool of myself in front of you.”

“There are no fools where I live, girl—only members of the same survivors’ club. Now stop worrying. It’s all good. You’ll see. I only have one bedroom, but my sofa makes into a bed, and we’ve got it all fixed up for you. I would have let you have the bedroom and taken the sofa myself, but the bedroom is up in the loft and the stairs are steep.”

“Loft?”

“Yes, my place is an A-frame. Two stories, with one bedroom and bathroom upstairs, and one big open room downstairs, with a kitchen at one end and the living area at the other. There’s another bathroom downstairs, next to the utility room. It makes more sense for you to be on the main floor. And there’s a wraparound deck that will be great for you to get your exercise without having to walk on uneven ground. It’s not luxurious, but it’s pretty new, and I’m not a slob.”

Mariah was silent, picturing the home and him in it, when he added, “We’ll be okay. No pressure to do anything but relax and get well. Understand?”

Relieved that he’d finally brought up the issue of nothing personal expected between them, she could finally relax. Whatever happened, she was grateful to be with someone she trusted.

* * *

Up in the high country on the other side of Rebel Ridge, Jake Doolen, his sons and their bloodhounds were still trying to pick up the bear’s tracks, desperate to find it before it attacked and killed someone else, but the signs were scarce to nonexistent. It was as if the bear had just vanished.

As far from the hunters as it could get, the bear was carrying an arrow in its rump, and the wound was infected, making it impossible for it to hunt as it once had. It was sick and in pain—two issues that drastically increased the danger quotient. Within hours of first sensing the dogs and the hunters it had made an about-face and begun moving in the opposite direction. If the Doolens didn’t find it in time, it would emerge from the reserve and right into populated territory.

Four

T
he sun was already sliding toward the western tip of the mountaintop by the time Quinn and Mariah reached the cabin. Her first glimpse of the site he’d chosen for the simple A-frame made her think Quinn was still in soldier mode. He’d set the cabin in the middle of an open meadow that was surrounded on all four sides by trees, with only one road in and out.

In fact, the original homestead had been built in this same place nearly a hundred years before for essentially the same reason: distrust of the federal government in general. The first Walkers to live here had believed that if you couldn’t be found, you couldn’t be counted, and if you couldn’t be counted, then you were off their radar. That mind-set still lingered in some of the more remote areas of Rebel Ridge and the rest of the South.

“Home sweet home,” Quinn said, as he pulled up to the cabin and parked.

Mariah couldn’t quit staring. All it needed was some gingerbread on the eaves and snow on the roof, and it could pass for a fairy-tale cottage from a picture book. The deck was deep and wrapped around the cabin on three sides. The railings were strong and sturdy, built for sitting or leaning. And just like that, all the tension she’d been feeling was gone.

“It’s absolutely beautiful,” she said.

Pleased that she hadn’t freaked about the isolation, Quinn relaxed, too. The first hurdle was over.

Mariah opened her door, carefully swung her legs toward the side, then slowly slid out of the seat.

“It feels good to stand up.”

Quinn quickly circled the Jeep and slid an arm around her waist to steady her.

“The ground can be a little rough. Hang on to me until we get up the steps.”

Mariah didn’t argue. The last thing she wanted was to bust her nose before she got in the house, although it wouldn’t be the first time she’d taken a tumble since she’d been wounded.

Once they got up on the deck, Quinn stopped to unlock the door. It swung inward on silent hinges, revealing a large open room with a two-story ceiling and a shiny hardwood floor. The walls were cedar paneled, and the massive stone fireplace at the far end of the room was a statement in itself. She could imagine being snowed in up on this mountain with a fire blazing and Quinn at her side, then shook off the fantasy. No need dwelling on things that weren’t going to happen.

“You must love living here.”

“It’s okay for a hillbilly, I guess.”

She frowned. “I wasn’t making fun of you. I only called you that because I…liked you, and because you always called me twerp.”

“Well, you were a twerp. Now you’re a corporal,” Quinn said, and started to tousle her hair when he felt the scar on her head and stopped short.

“Ooh, sorry. Did I hurt you?”

Mariah traced the crooked ridge of scar tissue with absent fingers.

“No.”

“How bad were you hurt?”

“Bad enough. It makes me nuts that my memory’s scrambled,” she admitted.

“But that means if I tell you that you always used to rub my feet and scratch my back, you’d have to believe me.”

She laughed out loud, startling herself with the sound. It had been a long time since she’d felt like laughing.

“Sorry, mister, but I’m not that bad off. I’m not the foot-rubbing, back-scratching kind.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Quinn said. “You were damn good at scratching certain itches.”

“And so were you, but that doesn’t mean we’re picking up where we left off, right?”

“Right.”

“So stop making me nervous and show me around, okay?”

“You get the fifty-cent tour, which means all of the downstairs. If you get strong enough to walk up the stairs on your own, you’ll get the other half.”

He proceeded to show her the bathroom, the little utility room next to the kitchen, then the kitchen itself. He stopped by the kitchen table to sort through the things Ryal and Beth had left for him, then moved to the sideboard and took a cell phone out of a drawer.

“As soon as I charge this up, it’s yours. It’ll keep me in touch with you, and you with the outside world, when I’m at work, okay?”

Another niggle of worry had just been laid to rest. “Very okay,” she said.

“I assume you know how to use a gas stove?”

“I can turn one on and off and I can use a can opener, but cooking like Beth cooks…no way.”

He frowned. “I didn’t haul your cranky ass all the way up here to cook for me. I just need to make sure you know how to heat a can of soup when I’m not here. Understood?”

She stifled a grin. “My cranky ass?”

He ignored her and led her out onto the back deck.

“This is a good place to critter watch or, if the weather’s nice, read a book.”

Now she was the one frowning. “Critter watch as in cute critters, right? Not killer bears?”

“Definitely not killer bears,” Quinn said, but he wasn’t entirely truthful. He didn’t want to scare her, but until the bear was found and put down, he couldn’t really guarantee anything. “However, you would be smart if you stayed inside the cabin or, if you’re out, don’t go farther than the deck when I’m not here.”

She shuddered. “Consider it done.”

He eyed the setting sun. “I need to unload the Jeep before it gets dark. If you want to walk around a bit before you go inside, you can hold on to the deck railing for stability. You saw your bed in the living room. The TV remote is on the table beside it if you’d rather stretch out. I’ll make us some supper later.”

“Do what you have to do and don’t worry about me.”

He’d started to go inside when, despite her words, she stopped him with a touch.

“Quinn?”

“Yeah?”

“I would never have believed when I got up this morning that I would be here with you before nightfall. The fact that I am is beyond amazing, and I want you to know how grateful I feel.”

He ran a finger down the side of her cheek. “I didn’t do it for your gratitude,” he said, then went back inside, leaving her alone.

She would have pursued the conversation just to ask him why he
had
done it, then, but she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle the answer.

Using the railing as he suggested, she walked the length of the deck and back again a couple of times, but as the sun finally dropped behind the mountain, she went inside.

Quinn was at the kitchen stove. A bowl of salad was on the counter, a pitcher of what looked like iced tea beside it.

“Something smells good,” she said.

“Hamburger steaks and fried potatoes.”

“Oh, my Lord, that sounds good,” she said. “I’m going to wash up.”

“Don’t dawdle. I’m dishing it up now.”

“Yes, sir, right away, sir,” she said, and headed to the bathroom.

She was halfway across the room when something hit her in the middle of the back. She turned, looked down and saw a wadded-up dish towel on the floor.

“Hey!”

“You’re dawdling,” Quinn said.

She rolled her eyes, picked up the towel and tossed it on the table as she passed.

Quinn could see the stiff set of her shoulders as she walked away, but he smiled as he filled their plates. If he kept her guessing, she would have less time to dwell on her situation. As for the nights, there was no way to prevent the inevitable as they slept. Hell was a hard thing to climb out of when your defenses were down.

* * *

One thing between them had not changed. Quinn knew he’d always had the ability to get on Mariah’s last nerve, and it was still happening. Before, they’d always ended their squabbles by making love, but that release was no longer available, and he found himself pushing and teasing to keep from taking her back to bed. By the time the meal was over and the dishes were done, Mariah wanted to hit him and Quinn knew it. He needed to disarm the situation and decided the best thing he could do was leave her alone.

“I’m gonna go upstairs and shower. Do you need anything before I go up?”

“Where’s my bag?” she asked.

“I put it on top of the washing machine so it would be close to the bathroom.”

“If I take a shower, will it use up your hot water?”

Quinn began to smile. “I don’t know. Wanna race to find out?”

Her eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

He shrugged. “I want a shower. You want a shower. I’m going up to my bathroom. You’ve got the one down here. I guess we’ll find out if the water heater holds up, won’t we?”

She didn’t know whether to laugh or light into him. “You have got to be kidding,” she muttered, as she swung her aching leg around and headed for the bathroom.

Quinn waited until he heard the door swing shut and then he headed upstairs, grinning as he went. Bringing her here to stay with him just might turn out to be the best idea he’d ever had.

Mariah stripped without digging into her bag and was a little anxious as she turned on the shower, afraid the water would get cold before she was through. She couldn’t believe Quinn was actually planning to take his shower now, too. Chances were they would both wind up finishing in cold water.

A fresh towel, a new bar of soap and a small bottle of shampoo were on the little counter, and she guessed he’d put them there for her. His thoughtfulness was touching, but a cold shower was not. By the time she stepped in, she was caught up in the idea of racing to get clean.

The water pressure was good. The water was nice and hot. She squirted a small dab of shampoo into her hand and lathered up, racing through the suds and rinsing faster than she’d ever rinsed before. By the time she got to washing herself, the water had gone from hot to comfortably warm.

“Oh, crap,” she said, and began rinsing the soap off her body as fast as she could. Her bad leg was hampering her, because she had to hold on to the railing with one hand as she scrubbed at her skin.

Then the water went from warm to lukewarm.

“No, no, no,” she squealed, as she turned around to rinse off her back.

At that point lukewarm shifted to straight-from-the-well cold, and Mariah screamed and turned off the taps.

There she stood, dripping wet, shivering and listening to the booming laugh right above her.

Quinn! The jerk. She still couldn’t believe he’d done that.

She rolled her eyes, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body, then got another one and began to dry her hair. The dryer she got, the warmer she became—and, grudgingly, she began to grin. That was, without doubt, the funniest shower she’d ever taken. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d done something just for fun.

Once she was dry, she realized the bag with her clothes was still on the washing machine on the other side of the door. She peeked out, saw the coast was clear and started to go get it just as she heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Oh, no, no, no!” Moving as fast as she dared on her gimpy leg, she grabbed the bag and darted back inside the bathroom, and none too soon.

“Hey, are you okay in there?” Quinn asked.

“I’m just fine,” she said.

“Do you need any help?”

“I’ve got this.”

“Are you sure? In case you don’t remember, I’m good in the shower.”

She grinned. Clearly he was gonna play that “lost her memory” card as long as she let him.

“Hey, Quinn?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut the hell up.”

He grinned. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll just be in your bed watching TV.”

“Oh, for the love of—”

She heard footsteps. He was walking away. She didn’t know whether to be glad the pressure was off or worry about what she would find waiting for her in her bed.

* * *

Quinn figured he’d pushed enough of Mariah’s buttons for one night and left her on her own in the bed watching television while he finished some work.

He was busy on his laptop at the kitchen table, finishing a report on his last trip up to the area around Greenlee Pass where the rogue bear had last been seen. As soon as he was done, he hit Save, then emailed it to the office.

According to the latest info they’d sent him, the trail had gone cold. After forty-eight hours without a solid hit, the powers that be had made a decision, and pulled the Doolens and their dogs off the mountain. Until there was a new sighting, they were at a loss as to where to look. But this decision had led to another one.

Come Monday, all the rangers were to begin notifying people in their areas about the possibility of a bear attack and advise them to stay out of the woods until the bear had been found.

Quinn read that directive without any confidence that it would be heeded. Telling mountain people to stay out of the woods was like telling them to stop breathing. They hunted the mountain and fished the creeks to feed their families. He would follow orders and spread the word, but he had no faith in anyone listening. Discouraged and more than a little bit worried, he finally turned off the laptop and went to check on Mariah.