Donners Bend (34 page)

Jon
led Jamie into his humble living room and as they sat down opposite one another on the uncomfortable sofas, Jamie removed his hat politely
. 

“Now, I know this isn’t something you’d normally expect to be asked,” Jamie began, “And I’m sure you’ll be quite bewildered as to why I came to you for this, but I,” Jamie paused, “I just thought it was necessary.”

“What’s going on?”

“Usually a man would go to the father when asking such a question, but I felt you were the best person to ask,” Jamie took a deep breath and finally admitted the reason as to his surprise visit
:
“I want to ask
Ellie
to marry me,
Jon
, a
nd I came to ask for your permission.”

Jon
leaned back, completely and utterly shocked
. 
Putting a hand to his head and then running it through his hair, he simply sat and thought
. 
It took a moment for him to process Jamie’s words and when he did
,
he smiled.

Jamie instantly felt a wonderful sense of relief, for he’d been worried that
Jon
would be the one big roadblock standing in
the
way of him and
Ellie
. 
He was wrong.

Jon
, despite what the people in town thought, didn’t and had never thought of
Ellie
in a romantic way
. 
He loved her though
. 
He loved her with all his heart, but only as a friend does
. 
Jon
knew something had been going on between Jamie and
Ellie
, he’d felt it
, a
nd so he was happy to see his friend find someone he felt would make her an amazing husband.

“What do you say,
Jon
?” asked Jamie, still waiting intently for his answer
. 
A smile wasn’t enough to assure his suspicion that
Jon
was okay with everything.

Jon
chuckled and his smile widened, “Of course, Jamie
. 
Go ahead
! 
Ask
Ellie
to marry you.”

“So I have your consent?”

“You absolutely do.”

A few minutes later, Jamie left the house and boarded his horse once more.

“
Goodbye
!” he called back to
Jon
, “And thanks again!”

“Good luck!”
Jon
shouted back with a wave of his hand, “
Goodbye
and good luck!”

With that behind him,
Jamie was off to his second destination:
Ellie
’s simple cottage.

He found her sitting in a large armchair near the warm and crack
ling
fire
. 
A cream-colored blanket had been spread across her lap as she sat reading a book quietly
. 

A significant amount of difference had been made in
Ellie
’s health in the past week
. 
She still felt very weak though, and found it hard to support herself when standing
. 
So, she spent most of her time reading or sewing by the fire
;
and when she needed to get around
,
she used the wheelchair Jamie had brought her
. 
Instead of a nightgown, she wore a simple yellow dress
;
and after she’d parted her hair on the side,
Ellie
pulled her hair back into a simple ponytail with a ribbon
. 

Although she’d tried very hard though,
Ellie
couldn’t erase all signs of her illness
. 
Her eyes still appeared sunken in slightly, her fingers would tremble every so often, and her body still seemed slightly frailer than it had before since she hadn’t gotten much nourishment during her time in bed
. 
Jamie still thought she looked beautiful though.

“Jamie!”
Ellie
exclaimed when she saw him, “I’m so glad you stopped by.”

“Are you fee
ling
any better?”

“Yes, much better,”
Ellie
replied, slightly exaggerating her condition
.

“Good, good
. 
I’m glad.”

There was a slight moment of silence before
Ellie
asked, “Is something wrong, Jamie
? 
You seem
...
 
oh, I don’t know
,
you just seem different.”

“No, nothing’s wrong
. 
I’m perfectly fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Jamie kneeled down beside her chair and looked up into her eyes, “I’m positive.”

“Okay
. 
Never mind then.”

A few more minutes passed
. 
To Jamie, every minute seemed to last ten times longer than it did in reality
. 
He just didn’t know
exactly how or
when the right moment would be
.

Ellie
could sense something changed about him, but it was hard for her to pinpoint just exactly what that something was
. 
Usually, he had a confid
e
nt air about him, but today he seemed slightly nervous and apprehensive
. 
He kept looking up at her and then turning away again as though he hadn’t done a thing.

Finally,
Ellie
asked again, “Jamie
? 
What
is
it
? 
You’re driving
me
mad with all this constant eye moving,
you’re jittery and really making me nervous – what’s wrong?  What is it?”

“You’ve already driven me mad,” Jamie whispered to himself.

“Hmm?” asked
Ellie
. 
When she didn’t receive an answer she continued in quite a simple, yet pleading, tone, “Please tell me if something’s wrong, Jamie.”

Jamie took a deep breath and asked, “Would you like to join me outside for a moment?”

“Of course, but whatever for?”

“Just fee
li
n
g a little stuffy
,
is all.”

Jamie lifted
Ellie
into the wheelchair and pushed her outside onto the porch
. 
She smiled as the cool air hit her face
. 
Jamie began to walk back and forth before her, trying to calm his nerves a little
. 
He’d never felt this way around a girl before
, but then again, he knew that
Ellie
was not just any girl
.
  She was the one that he intended to spend the rest of his life with.

“
Ellie
?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“I have something that I
…
I need to ask
…
I mean tell you.”

“Go ahead.”

He stepped toward her and took her hands, kissing each one in turn, “
Ellie
, I never thought I’d say this when I first met you
. 
I thought you were just another of the children’s nannies,” he paused, “
b
ut I was wrong
. 
Over time, and through many difficulties, I’ve
...
 
w
ell, I’ve come to love you
Ellie
.”

Ellie
didn’t, and couldn’t speak.

Jamie continued, “And I know this isn’t just some phase that will soon come to pass
. 
I know that no matter what I do, I’ll love you forever
, a
nd I want to live the rest of my life with you
. 
I know that if
I d
o
n’t do this now, I’d regret it everyday for the rest of my life, for I love you far too much to ever forget you
. 
Ellie
, I want you to be my wife, to be mine
,
and only mine forever
. 
Will you do me that honor
,
Ellie
?”

He got down on one knee, pulled out the ring, and kissed her hand again, “
Eliana
Mae
Henderson
, will you marry me?”

Ellie
still couldn’t find words to speak, but finally she was able to whisper, “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Jamie assured, “Just a simple yes would make me happier than you can ever imagine.”

Ellie
hesitated, because she knew she could
n’t say yes
, a
nd she didn’t
. 

The silence was deafening, yet she couldn’t quite break it. 
Her relationship with Jamie had always confused her greatly, and this only heightened that confusion
. 
She didn’t love him, or at least she didn’t think she did
;
but yet she
couldn’t deny that she had
feelings
for
him.  What
they
were exactly
,
she had no idea. 
All she knew
for sure
was that she
felt a strong devotion to him that she couldn’t deny.

S
ince the accident
,
Ellie
found herself strangely
unable
to accept change and unable to make up her mind on things
. 
She was v
ery reluctant
to answer anything
,
fearing the dread of making a wrong decision
.  It was
as
if her inability to control
things surrounding
the accident destroyed
her
confidence that she once relied
so heavily
upon.

“I don’t know, Jamie,” she shook her head, “I just don’t know.”

“You don’t know about what
? 
What’s wrong?” he pleaded, “Because if it’s something about the future we would live
,
I assure you I could give you anything you wanted: a big house, children, anything.”

“It’s not that.”

“Th
en
what?”

“I just don’t know,” she repeated, “I don’t know if this is the right thing for us.”

“I love you,
Ellie
. 
I love you more than you know
,
and you love me as well, don’t you?”

Ellie
shook her head again, “I just don’t know, Jamie
. 
It’s hard to say.”

“What do you mean
? 
Do you love me or don’t you
? 
It’s a clear cut question.”