Dominion (Book 1 of The Dominion Series) (24 page)

His coat is open, the shoulders soaked from the deluge, and he's wearing a black sweater underneath, his gold cross dangling around his neck. His wet hair hangs in his eyes, his black lashes clumped together from the rain, his blue eyes riveted on me.

He looks –
desperate
.

"You're back," he says, his voice soft. "I was so worried about you…" He comes to the bathtub and stands over me, staring down, and there I am, naked, my hair soaked, my cheeks red, my body only somewhat covered by the last remaining bubbles and only moments away from a self-imposed orgasm. Then he reaches down, stroking my cheek with the backs of his fingers, his eyes closed. I feel the connection, the walls between us falling away, and all I can think is that he almost caught me. My body is so ready, my heart racing, my cheeks hot. Then he senses my masturbatory fantasy about him just moments earlier before he knocked and how close I am.

"Oh, God,
Eve
," he says and reaches down, grabbing me under my arm, his other arm under my legs, pulling me out of the tub, splashing water all over everywhere as he lifts me and carries me naked and dripping to my bedroom, his mouth already on mine before I can even gasp in shock.

He lays me on the bed and lies on top of me, his coat still on, his mouth never leaving mine, one hand holding mine above my head and he runs his other hand down my naked wet skin, over my shoulder and down to my breast and then lower between my thighs, his fingers finding my clit as he kisses me, his tongue insistent, his breathing so fast. I feel his lust now, feel his flesh so hard, the ache of desire in him as he kisses and touches me. Then he breaks the kiss and moves his mouth down over my chin, down my neck where he pauses at my throat. For a few seconds, I hold my breath and wonder if he's going to bite me and I don't care, almost wanting him to and there's nothing I could do to stop him, he's so strong and has me confined.

He makes a noise deep in his throat like agony and pulls away, breathing heavily and when I look at him, his face has changed to the hunter, his teeth longer, his pupils huge now, and a mix of lust and fear floods through me.

He doesn't speak, releasing my hands above my head. He moves lower, sucking each nipple as he squeezes my breasts. His sharp teeth slide over my nipple, but he doesn't break my skin and jolts of pleasure go right from my nipples to my clit and deep inside of me. I don't know how much more I can take I'm so ready. He moves even lower, spreading my thighs, his mouth covering my sex, his tongue finding my clit and stroking, fast and firm, and I cry out loud it feels so good, my hips grinding against his mouth.

He slips fingers inside of me, and makes that throat sound, and I feel the sweetness building deep inside as his fingers and tongue stroke me. Just as I think I'm over the edge, he pulls his fingers out and moves up, kissing my neck as he's fumbling with his pants, unbuttoning his fly.

When he's finally free, he shoves himself inside of me, fully. He's so thick, he fills me up and the pressure is so intense. He thrusts inside me, grabbing my hands over my head and he's kissing my throat, his other hand on my breast, squeezing my nipple and I feel his lust and mine combined so that the waves of pleasure build until I'm gasping, my body arching, my muscles clenching around him.

I'm coming as he thrusts harder and faster and I feel his climax on top of mine, his cheek pressed against mine, grunting with each thrust. It's as if he's holding me there, right at the top not letting me fall. I feel his body spasm as if it's my own, and it
is
my own, the pleasure such agony and it goes on and on and I'm completely drowning in it…

We lie there, recovering, our breathing slowly returning to normal. He moves off me, slipping out of my body and then he's lying on his side looking at me. He touches the skin on my shoulders and hips where his coat has rubbed against my skin, leaving fabric burn, his mouth soft on the raw spots. He tongues the wound on my shoulder, which weeps just a bit of blood and his tongue on my skin feels so good, so tender, so intimate. But even that small amount of blood brings out the hunter in him again and his eyes become bloodshot, his pupils now huge.

I'm a little in fear of him right now. He senses it and stops licking my wound, exhaling slowly and rests his head on my breast, his breath on my nipple.

"Don't worry," he whispers. "I won't bite you."

I don't know if I'm worried or in hope, and the thought makes me feel like such a traitor. I turn my face away, but in truth, somewhere dark and deep, I want it. I just don't want to admit it. I lie there, surprised at how I'm both scared and attracted to him in hunter mode.

"That was so
fast
," I say, still a bit in shock at how quickly it all happened.

"You were so ready," he says, and now Michel is back, and the hunter recedes. He's smiling that lopsided grin of his. "I could have prolonged things. I usually prefer it long and slow, and I would have preferred to confine you properly, but you were just so
close
…"

My cheeks burn at the memory and how he knows I was masturbating just before he knocked on the door.

"Don't you
dare
be embarrassed," he says, leaning over me again, staring into my eyes. "Do you have any idea how erotic that was? To find you like that, naked, wet, ready? All my plans for self-control totally laid to waste…"

I smile at him, and touch his face, push his hair back behind his ear and out of his eyes. God, he's so
beautiful
…

"What plans? Tell me, oh Genghis Kahn, what your plans for total dominion over me were?"

He cracks a grin, but then becomes serious.

"Oh, Eve…" he says and rolls onto his back, rubbing his eyes. "I fucked up."

"You regret this?" I say, a feeling of numbness spreading through me. What – is he going to take it back now? "It's not a really good thing to tell a woman you just fucked that you regret fucking her."

He sits up and then removes his coat and lies on his side, leaning over me, resting on one elbow, his gaze moving over my naked body and I remember what Julien wrote about vampire stamina.

"Regret isn't the word. I'm angry with myself for being so weak. I shouldn't have come in, but I
had
to see you. After Helena, after meeting with Soren I felt so," he shakes his head. "Afraid for you when Soren saw you, knew you were back in play. I didn't
intend
to fuck you, and certainly not like this, but you were so …" he says, and hesitates as if searching for words. "You were so
there
how could I not? It was like the laws of the universe would be violated if I hadn't."

"Spacetime itself would be disrupted?" I say and smile, but I'm still not sure where this is going and whether I'm going to be sad or happy when he finally explains. "What's so terrible about what happened?"

He rolls over on his stomach and rests on his elbows, his fingers laced together, his gold crucifix dangling. He looks over at me, and I'm just lying there, naked as the day I was born, but I don't move to cover up. He's seen right into my mind and heart. What's my nakedness in comparison?

"It shouldn't have happened until I knew if we can work. If you can submit."

Oh, that word again.

"Submit," I say, a bit hesitant. "It sounds like 'submissive' and I don't know if I like it."

"But you do." He taps his temple. "I know. You find it hard to admit because of your modern sensibility and education, but it appeals to you at a very deep level. I can't see where this need comes from for it's blocked to me, but something made you need submission. You want responsibility for your desire taken from you and given to someone else so that you are free to feel whatever you feel without censure."

He's right. I think too much. It gets in the way of me feeling.

"A relationship of Dominance and submission is pure trust. It's the deepest trust in another, to trust them with your body and your life. You and I," he says and reaches out to touch me. "We can kill each other. We can protect each other. That's why I'm so torn. I feel guilt about it because this is going to be very dangerous, and I hate that I'm putting you in danger, but from the moment I saw you in the office that first night, I wanted you."

"To submit?"

"To be my Adept. My submissive," he says, "and my protector."

I frown. The submissive part I understand perfectly clearly. "Your protector?"

"You can kill vampires. Who better to protect me?"

I lie there for a moment, absorbing this revelation.

"I thought we'd work cases together."

"We will. But this is a military operation, Eve, not a police action. We're preparing to fight a war. I need you to be my protector because you can kill vampires and that's who I'll be fighting."

"Tell me about the war."

He shakes his head. "I can't tell you more, Eve, or risk putting you in more danger. Please trust me on this."

I inhale. Trust.

"So you need to know if we can form this bond of trust? How will you know?"

"Only when you're able to be completely obedient to me. To completely trust me with your life. Not ask questions, not doubt my commands. Then, I can trust you with
my
life."

Trust me with his life? That does something to me, making me swell with emotion.

"Only then would sex between us not complicate the bond. Sex too early and it's harder to establish. If we were just a normal couple, then it would be different, but we’re not."

"The bond?"

"You have to trust me before you submit sexually, Eve. Then, you'll be free to truly experience pleasure. Trust is the most important part of the relationship between a Master and slave, Dominant and submissive if you want to use BDSM terms."

I sit up and pull a sheet around me.

"Master and slave?" I frown, and a sense of unease goes through me. "I don't like those terms. They go against my grain."

"Words don't matter. It doesn't matter if I call you my submissive, my slave or my subordinate. This isn't some part-time sex game people play for kinks. This is life and death. All those terms refer to is the direction of power," he says. "In a military relationship, as your superior, I make the decisions about what we do and when and how. As my subordinate, you're responsible for carrying out my commands exactly as I specify. It's essential when we're on missions for you to obey me without hesitation, without thought. I have to know you'll do what I command at all times. There can be only one leader."

"Why not partners?"

"Because partners can argue over decisions, each one pushing their own agenda, and in that space of time, people will die. I've seen it happen."

"So you want me to be your slave?"

"Names are just words," he says. "But what happens between us will be beyond the games people play, the lifestyle, where they do it because it turns them on or gives them sexual pleasure. This doesn't only mean tying you up and making you call me Master," he says, his voice a bit breathless.

"I don't know if I want that," I say, and I know I'm not being honest. It is like a siren call to me that I don't want to admit but I've hidden things and lied to myself for so long I don't know what I feel anymore.

"Eve, you forget I can read you," he says and rolls over closer to me, his finger touching my bottom lip. "I know it appeals to some deep part of you. You're attracted to it, despite your personal values. You don't have to be embarrassed about it."

"Of course I do. I'm a feminist. I need therapy for wanting it."

"For some people, submission
is
therapy. Dominance is therapy. It has nothing to do with your value as a human. It's about what position in a relationship brings you pleasure and happiness."

"This is what you want?"

"This is what you
need
."

"I need to submit? It's not like I fought you."

"Not fighting and submission are two different things. You won't let yourself really go until you submit fully and completely, of your own free will. You have to choose it."

I don't know what he means but then, some part of me knows exactly what he means.

"What do
you
want? Do you want it?"

"Yes," he says, breathless.

"Why?"

He says nothing for a moment. "I have my own reasons."

I remember the manuscript and how Marguerite tortured Michel. How she led him around on a leash like he was some slave.

"If we form this bond," Michel says, running his finger along my arm. "You could explore anything with me and know I'd never do more than you want. I'd always know how much you can handle. There'd be no need for safe words with us."

And that just does something to me and I have to close my eyes for a moment and breathe deeply. To have someone know exactly what you need and how far to go… He leans over and kisses my shoulder.

When I open my eyes, he's serious again.

"Eve, you and I? As Dominant and submissive? It's not just a kink. We do it to stay
alive
." He looks at me with those so-intense eyes. "You turn over your will to me. The mission is first, and our own will exists only to complete the mission. I am the leader and you're my right hand."

"So having sex first does what?"

"It complicates things. Lovers often put their own needs and that of their lover first over the mission. There can't be that kind of dynamic or one of us – or both – could die."

I stare at the ceiling. "Why not two people who are committed to the mission? Working together?"

"Because of how power works," he says. "It's a zero sum game. It's based on making decisions and being able to react to conditions on the ground. Only one person can do that." He leans over me, his eyes so intense. "This is war. A war for dominion. Who will win? Humans or vampires? If humans are to win, those of us who fight for you must be in perfect unison. We must be committed completely to winning. You think vampires are very strong, and we are, but we're also vulnerable in daylight and rely on humans to protect us."