Dogfight (12 page)

Amidst all this, Mitt Romney could at least

Refer to turmoil in the Middle East

As one example illustrating how

Stability and long-term peace is now

In that sad region further out of reach

Than when Obama gave his Cairo speech.

Mitt said we’d been too quick to spare the rod

In Syria, when dealing with Assad,

And hadn’t made it clear how we will ban

The bomb from all those mad dogs in Iran.

Obama’s weak, Mitt tried hard to contend—

Although considering Osama’s end,

That notion wasn’t such an easy sell.

And some thought it would not help Mitt to dwell

On matters like what touched off Mideast mobs

Instead of concentrating hard on jobs.

He’d started out by saying that’s what mattered,

But now the shots from Mitt’s campaign seemed scattered.

Barack’s convention bounce did not recede,

And gradually he opened up a lead.

Mitt’s team was braced for what the polls were bringing:

That states that swung were now no longer swinging.

Yes, in Ohio, many polls would find

That Mitt was ten percentage points behind.

When analysts then analyzed the polling,

Some said the bell for Mitt’s campaign was tolling.

Some right-wing bloggers said that they would guess

That pollsters are as biased as the press.

The Romney campaign spokesmen said, “Just wait:

Our man will crush him in the first debate.”

The pundits said, whenever they’d expound,

Mitt still had time to turn this thing around.

But, given early voting, they would note,

Some states had folks now lining up to vote.

From pols and pundits, therefore, what we heard

Was that the first debate, October third,

Was something close to Romney’s do or die.

Advice to him was not in short supply.

Aggressiveness is good, said some, although

Not so aggressive that you fail to show

You’re likable. (Well, sort of—more or less.)

Remember that when starting to aggress.

Specifics, some said, were what Romney needs—

Though those could get him lost among the weeds.

So no specifics? Or should Romney fling

Some zingers, or embrace the vision thing?

Newt Gingrich, who, to judge by his career,

Might counsel Mitt to bite Obama’s ear,

Was much less snarky, offering advice

That humor often proves a great device—

Though laughs from Mitt would be an aberration

As likely as some aural mastication.

In all, this first debate was heavy going.

Statistics fail to get the juices flowing.

It got so thick, so lacking in one-liners,

Some people fell asleep in their recliners.

Of those awake when all was said and done,

Most had this thought: The challenger had won.

Mitt’s answers, whether factual or not,

Were clear and crisp, and all those answers got

Delivered with a quite commanding style.

The President seemed listless all the while—

Less certain of the points that he would share

And wishing he were anyplace but there.

So Democrats looked on with some dismay.

“The President,” some said, “is MIA.”

No traps were sprung; no knockout blows were struck.

But Mitt’s campaign at last had got unstuck.

In spin-room chats, his men were all aglow.

Barack, they said, no longer had Big Mo.

The press found this a scrumptious dish to swallow.

It meant there was a horse race still to follow.

So in the dozen days folks had to wait

To watch once more those two men in debate

They tuned to cable, hearing pundits speak

On why Barack Obama’d been so weak,

And why the man had even failed to mention

The Mitt remarks that riled up such contention:

That video, sent Democrats from heaven,

In which Mitt says exactly forty-seven

Percent of us play victims, with the goal

Of living lives as moochers on the dole—

A speech for weeks Mitt would not disavow.

“Completely wrong” is what he called it now.

With Mitt called winner of the first debate

Republicans began to celebrate.

Another job report was then released.

That grim percentage had at last decreased,

Though not at an accelerated rate.

The figure now, at last, was under eight.

“Conspiracy!” the right-wing bloggers cried:

The numbers had been cooked, or maybe fried,

To serve some liberal reelection goals—

Exactly what they’d said about the polls.

But soon they had no reason to complain.

The President, reporting made it plain,

Had lost his lead. The latest polls had shown it.

In just one night, some said, Obama’d blown it.

A message by the voters had been sent:

They found Mitt credible as president.

And now some Democrats began to panic.

Was that debate, they asked, Barack’s
Titanic
?

In this great orator, whom they’d revered,

Had every ounce of mojo disappeared?

And could, by chance, Republicans be right

That he’d become just too used up to fight?

The Democrats now found themselves conceding

Obama’s standing in the polls was bleeding.

As Biden’s night approached, they hoped that Joe

Could staunch that, or at least could slow the flow.

It’s possible that Biden got that done.

Though pollsters disagreed on just who won,

The veep at least had focused some attention

On facts his boss had somehow failed to mention—

Like how Mitt’s scorn for poorer people soars

When he and fat cats talk behind closed doors.

This veep debate became a little snarky,

With Biden calling Ryan claims malarkey.

They clashed on numbers and they clashed on facts.

They clashed on who should pay how much in tax.

Joe Biden from the start had come out slugging.

Though Ryan’s team said what came out was mugging.

Joe’s smile, Dems said, would not have been so visible

If things that Ryan said had been less risible.

This tussle was, no matter how it went,

Just warm-up for the next week’s main event.

The Democrats, with fears he might lose twice,

Bombarded B. Obama with advice.

It turned out that they had no need to worry,

Obama took command, and in a hurry.

He didn’t seem the same guy as before.

He won, said pollsters who were keeping score.

Though neither toward the other was benign,

Mitt seemed at times the one who crossed the line:

Toward both the moderator and his foe

He acted like a bossy CEO.

And also, said the tweets and posts and e-mails,

With his remarks he’d lost some ground with females.

He said he’d asked (not true, as it transpired)

For names of able women to be hired

When he became the boss in Boston, Mass.—

To crack the ceiling that they faced of glass.

Thus “binders full of women” was a phrase

That banged around the Internet for days.

The ref was Candy Crowley for this brawl,

The head butts and the gouges hers to call.

Benghazi’s muddled tale, Mitt had a hunch,

Was where he’d likely land a roundhouse punch.

It seemed to be a weakness to exploit,

But Mitt at trying that proved maladroit.

The Fox News types said everyone’s aware

That Candy Crowley was, of course, unfair.

In their religion one can seem quite pious

By blaming everything on liberal bias.