Does it Hurt to Die (28 page)

‘
And you found what?’

‘
It was a South African government folder wrapped in plastic, with the word CLASSIFIED stamped across it.’

‘
Well, what was inside it?’

‘
I don’t know, and I don’t know whether I want to know. It slipped out as I was walking down the stairs, and Mike suggested that we lock it in his safe and think about it for a while.’

‘
I want to be there when you open it. Remember you promised no secrets.’

‘
That’s why I wanted to tell you about it,’ he said. ‘And something else really weird happened.’

‘
What was that?’

‘
I had this flashback—I went to look over the concrete fence and as I looked back I could “see” my father lying by the pool bleeding. There were two men—one black the other white—who fought with each other after they shot him.’

‘
You must have seen it from where he put you. But you would have been too small to see over the wall.’

‘
There’s a big tree on the other side of the wall that I used to love climbing when I was small. I must have climbed it to see what was happening.’

‘
And then because it was so traumatic, the memory was repressed until now,’ said Isabella.

‘
I think that’s what happened.’

‘
Are you OK now?’

‘
I think so. It was just the initial shock and that that memory had been with me for so long. At least it explains that uneasy feeling I’ve always had when thinking of my father.’

‘
Come on. Let’s head back then. We’re meant to have supper with my mother tonight, and we both need to get rid of all the sand that has crept into the most unusual places. It sounds like your day has been overwhelming enough.’

Christian and Isabella drove into Mike and Sian’s driveway.

‘I’ll come and pick you up at about six o’clock,’ she said.

‘
Isn’t that a bit early for supper with your mother? She usually likes to eat late.’

‘
Perhaps there’s something we need to do first that will totally distract you from all that happened today,’ said Isabella, her eyes brighter than he had previously seen.

Christian wondered what she was up to. With Isabella, there was always something other than the main course. Her mind never seemed to stop. He knew instinctively that he was going to get no help establishing what it was; it was part of the allure that she liked to create. That was, he had come to know, Isabella’s way; she loved intrigue and the element of surprise.

‘I know. No questions, no clues and no hints.’

‘
Clever boy,’ she mocked, and tried to look haughtily indifferent to his feigned despondency.

He leaned through the car window to kiss her goodbye and found her staring ahead and ignoring him.

‘Issy,’ he called gently.

‘
No, not until tonight.’ She suddenly turned, laughed and blew him a kiss. She then revved the car and drove around the driveway, laughing softly as she went. Christian stood for a while in front of Mike’s steps. Quietness descended after the automatic steel gates had closed. He turned and walked up the front steps, remembering that Mike and Sian had gone away for the weekend and it was the maid’s weekend off. He walked inside and switched the security alarm off. On the kitchen bench were instructions from Mike and Sian on eating and their contact number at Hermanus.

As he read their note, he reflected on how far he had travelled on this journey of discovery about his father. Although he thought he felt better about his father’s memory, part of him would not let him reconcile the fact that his father, the wonderful caring surgeon, could have done some of things that he had. His thoughts then wandered to Issy. How quickly she had become part of his life. Now when he woke up in the mornings he thought about her, and as he opened his eyes, he could almost see her black curls bouncing, her smile and the twinkle in her eye. It was almost as though they were destined to meet and for her to go on this journey of discovery with him. He was starting to feel like she belonged with him. How was it possible, he wondered, to feel such an intense emotion when they had not even made love
? He rushed upstairs taking two at a time and threw off his clothes as he turned on the shower.

Showered and changed with a touch of Mike’s aftershave, he heard the front door chime. Listening as he walked down the stairs, the sound was different from its usual chime. It was as though it was struggling to chime fast enough. He considered the thought absurd that a front door chime could react to Isabella and that most probably it was the batteries becoming flat. He smiled to himself at the thought that she could have a similar effect on the door chime as she had with him. As he opened the door, the evening light pushed into the hallway, silhouetting her beautiful shape. Perhaps the batteries were not flat
, he considered for a fleeting second. The impact of her silhouette was followed very quickly by the smell of her perfume. Then he noticed the ends of her black curls still wet from a shower, refracting the evening light, creating a further surreal effect. With his sense of sight and smell assailed, he stepped back and gathered his breath.

‘
Well, aren’t you asking me in, or does a girl have to stand here all night?’ she said as she playfully pushed him back inside with her hand on his chest.

Christian regained a little of his composure
. ‘You look absolutely stunning, Issy,’ he said, as he completed the surveillance.

Pushing past him, she half walked half glided down the hallway. Her skirt was short and pleated and flowed around her body. When she was opposite the lounge entrance, she pirouetted for him. Her skirt rose and flared a little. Christian felt his heart race; the junction of her thigh and buttock was beautifully outlined, the muscled straightness of her thigh meeting a perfect curve, a glimpse which for a second was an aeon, and then gone. He looked at her, the twinkling eyes and mischievous smile signalling that she was not only aware of the effect she was having but that she was also delighted at its impact on him. As she finished her pirouette and stood facing him, Christian took in the effect of the white V-necked top cropped high on the shoulder contrasting with the black pleated skirt and black strapless shoes; a complete vision.

‘Speechless is good, Christian, but I also love the way you think and speak.’

‘
Issy, I’m just stunned.’

‘
You men are such visual creatures. What about the beauty beneath?’

‘
Isn’t it a bit early for that?’ he replied, having regained his composure and keen to interact with her again.

Isabella stood and faced him, smiling seditiously now. Christian waited for the riposte, wondering whether she was going to raise their banter to a new level of intimacy.

‘Christian,’ she replied, deliberately having made him wait just a little bit longer than usual. ‘The beauty that I was talking about resides within.’ She fixed him with her gaze daring him to raise the intimacy stakes.

‘
Mmmm, now there’s a risqué thought.’

‘
Christian,’ she mock admonished him.

‘
Sorry, Issy, you look so beautiful tonight, it’s impossible not to…’

Isabella cut in before he had finished
. ‘Impossible not to what?’

‘
You know. What it would be like to be together,’ he half stammered from a defensive pose, concerned whether his insinuation about intimacy was too forward.

‘
You know,’ said Isabella, ‘guys are all the same. Why is it that they have so much trouble talking about their feelings?’

Although she had not become serious, the mood had changed slightly.

‘OK, here’s how it goes,’ she said, moving closer to him. ‘You’re the most gorgeous guy that I’ve met. I think making love with you would be one of the most exquisite things we could do together, but it’s what’s inside that makes you most attractive.’

Christian laughed, partly relieved that he had not overstepped the mark, before he slapped her playfully on the bum.

‘But,’ he added, looking at her. ‘There’s always a “but”.’

‘
If we continue talking like this, we’re going to be late for my mother’s and she’ll definitely know what we’ve been up to—later, my darling Aussie hunk. Just think, we can spend all supper thinking about what our first time is going to be like together!’

‘
If your mother is as instinctive as you say, then we’ll need to be very discreet to not give away our intentions.’

‘
I’m sure Aussies can do discreet when the occasion demands,’ Isabella added, with a knowing smile.

He pushed her hair gently back and kissed her and was surprised by all the feelings of happiness, passion and joy that it produced.

‘Come on then, we’ll be late for your mother,’ he said as he broke away from her grasp and they hurried towards the front door where he keyed in the security code.

Nadine had prepared Osso Bucco, the veal marinated beautifully in wine and the sauce, exquisite. As delicious as the food was, Christian struggled to not keep looking at Isabella. She seemed so alive, more so than at any other time. Fortunately, the conversation was funny, which was distracting, although Nadine seemed more preoccupied than he had previously noticed.

‘Have you spoken to your mother, Christian?’ Nadine asked.

‘
Only yesterday,’ said Christian, hesitating and momentarily distracted as he felt Isabella caress his foot with hers.

‘
What was your mother’s news?’

‘
Oh, everything is much the same in Australia. She’s working very hard, but she sends her regards to everyone, and could I please send her a photo of you all.’

‘
I’m sure we could,’ said Nadine.

‘
In fact we have one with Mike and Sian also in it.’

‘
She’d really like that, I’m sure,’ said Christian.

‘
Not your favourite pastime, writing e-mails?’ Nadine inquired cheekily. ‘You might have to improve then when you go back if you’re going to keep in touch with my daughter.’

‘
Mum,’ Isabella interrupted, ‘Christian can Skype or phone.’

‘
Oh, yes,’ said Nadine. ‘What high-paying job will he have that will allow him to call you every five minutes?’

Isabella laughed
. ‘Mum, Skyping is free.’

‘
Well, that’s good to hear. You’re both very young, and remember that you live in different countries, so perhaps it’s best just to keep this at a friendship level.’

‘
Mum, don’t worry. We’re old enough and smart enough to understand all those things.’

Nadine interrupted, changing tact
. ‘Issy, get that photo, so the poor boy has no excuse not to write to his mother again.’

When Isabella returned with the photo, she kissed Christian on the ear as she gave it to him
. ‘A kiss on the ear means inseparability for a year,’ she whispered.

At the same moment Nadine looked over from the kitchen, the glance of disapproval neither had noted before. It reminded Christian a little of his mother’s reaction when he had told her about Isabella. Perhaps there was something else he was about to find out, since it had been one of those days.

‘So, now you have a photo to go with the e-mail. Mothers love photos,’ Isabella mockingly chided.

‘
C’mon, mate,’ she said, in her interpretation of an Aussie accent. ‘Time to go.’

Christian’s protest about helping with the dishes was overwhelmed by Nadine insisting that guests were allowed no such privilege. By this time, Isabella had Christian on his feet, and Nadine let them out through the front door.

‘Mum, I’m going to stay at Mike and Sian’s tonight, rather than drive back by myself.’

‘
That’s fine, sweetie. I’d much rather you do that than drive by yourself late at night. Say hi to Mike and Sian.’

Christian thought the drive back seemed quicker than previous trips, and the security lighting was on as they drove in through the gates.

‘Coffee?’ asked Christian as they pulled into the garage and the security door closed behind them.

‘
No port?’ teased Isabella.

Christian laughed
. ‘We’ll have to see what they have.’

As he looked for Mike’s seventeen-year-old Stellenberg port, he heard Isabella activate the CD player. The soft tones of Diana Krall drifted into the room. He went to pick up the port and glasses when Isabella spoke.

‘Dance with me, Christian.’

Not so much a request as a longing, he thought. Christian turned to meet her as she took his hand. He kissed her forehead as she moved with him, her body gently touching his. Moving slowly in time to the music, he marvelled at the way she felt so natural in his arms. Her perfume seemed stronger this evening, or perhaps it was just her closeness. He kissed her hair as they slowly danced and he inhaled the intoxicating mix of her perfume and shampoo. Dancing as close as they were, Christian could feel her whole body move with his as they danced. He held her tighter and the memory of all that had happened that day receded. Just as he thought it was a moment that should last forever, Isabella looked up at him and kissed him. As she looked up into his eyes, he saw the desire to be closer. He stopped dancing, picked her up in both arms and carried her up the stairs.

Christian was the first to awake, the sound of the birds outside preceding the light. He turned over and looked at Isabella, her dark curls encircling the most beautiful face he had seen. He reached across and gently pulled her hair back. He moved the sheet off her shoulder so that he could see her back. Stretching down into the sheets, he traced it lightly with his finger. It was as beautiful as the rest of her body. He moved across the bed and slid his arm around her naked waist, pulling himself into her back. It was, he thought, a perfect fit.

Isabella stirred and then murmured
, ‘Mmmm, does this mean you want more?’

‘
Issy, last night was the most wonderful experience I’ve ever had. I’ve never made love to anyone like that before.’

‘
It was the most wonderful experience for me as well.’

As they lay there smiling at each other, in both wonderment and delight, Christian heard the phone ringing in Mike’s room.

‘It’s Nadine,’ he called as he returned. ‘She wants to speak with you.’

When Isabella returned five minutes later, her joyfulness had gone.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘
She’s angry because I didn’t tell her that Mike and Sian had gone to Hermanus. She thinks that I betrayed her by not telling her last night. She’d like to talk to us.’