Dodger (42 page)

She went behind a portable changing screen to get unrigged as my Ruby came back in, counting some coins and saying she was ready to leave.

‘So Rafferty is handing out the coffers,' exclaimed Sid. ‘Has he got mine?'

Ruby just put her money in her reticule and turned to me. ‘What was it you wanted to say, Jack?' she yawned. ‘I'm working
two jobs now. I'm selling meat at the market first thing tomorrow and then I'm straight back here. I need to get home and sleep.'

‘You shouldn't walk home alone,' I told her. ‘Warrigal and myself will be happy to escort you. There might be thieves about.'

‘I don't want you to escort me,' Ruby said with a sudden firmness. ‘I'm happier by myself. Now say what you came here to say and we'll bid each other goodnight.'

I had not wanted it to be like this. I had been practising this declaration in my head for over a week and I had not imagined making it in a room where we was overheard by Warrigal, a sour-faced comedian and another woman what was draping her stockings and underthings over the top of a changing screen while I spoke. But I could see that this was the only chance she was going to give me and so I just blurted it out quick.

‘Ruby, I love you and I want you for mine.'

She looked back at me and said nothing. At his place by the dresser Sid Frizelle swivelled around once more to face us and behind the changing screen the other Ruby stopped rustling and all was stillness.

‘Well, you can't have me,' said the one behind the screen at last. ‘Not without bringing me flowers.'

‘He's talking to the sandwich girl, you stupid cow,' said Sid, and then he turned back to see how my Ruby would respond. She just stood there and looked most awkward until I reached out to take her hand. She pulled it away.

‘I'm sorry, Jack,' she said, ‘but no.'

‘What do you mean, no?' I responded. ‘You mean yes. You feel the same way, Ruby, you must do. You've been sweet on me ever since we was kinchins. You mean yes.'

‘I mean no.'

I looked at her then to see if she was at jest. It seemed she was not.

‘So you ain't sweet on me then?' I asked, unwilling to believe it. ‘But I …' I looked over to Warrigal, then to Sid and then to the other Ruby what had stepped out from behind the screen in her silk robe to watch us. ‘But I'm top-sawyer,' I said at last. The two performers exchanged a glance, unsure as to what that meant.

‘I loved Fagin,' said Ruby after a time. ‘He was the only father I ever had. And you was his favourite so of course I loved you too. But not like a sweetheart. More like a brother.'

She said these last words as though they was meant to be some sort of consolation to me but that was not how they landed. I did not want to be loved like a brother. I already had a half-brother and he did not love me one bit. I could not think of anything she could have said what would be more insulting.

‘I've been reading this book,' said Ruby as I struggled to understand her. ‘
Teppingham
it's called – you was there when I was given it. And it's helped me to see things straight. A woman should not surround herself with villainous men; that's the lesson of the story. She should hold herself higher and give herself to he who values her.'

‘I value you,' I replied. ‘And I always will.'

‘I won't have no more criminals in my life, Jack. I'm sorry. I do love you sometimes, I loves you to bits. But I just can't have it.' She looked to be getting herself most upset by saying all this and I was certain that this was all just some foolishness and she would come to her senses in a moment. ‘I want honest people about me from now on, Jack. Please don't look so upset.'

‘Honest people?' I asked in bewilderment. ‘We don't know any honest people.'

‘I do,' she answered with a little more toughness than before. ‘John Froggat for one.'

‘John who?' I did not at first recognise the name.

‘He who lives with his family in Fagin's old house. John knows who you are. You went there once, he told me.'

‘Him what sells metalware?' I asked in disgust. ‘How do you know a flat like him?'

‘I've known him and his family for some years. After Fagin died I used to visit the old place and he saw me standing outside once. He invited me in and we had tea together. I met his mother and his uncle. They're all very nice people.'

‘He ain't that nice,' I remarked. ‘He threw me out of my childhood home.'

‘I live there now,' she told me. ‘After you and the others fled from our crib in Bethnal Green I packed my bags and went to him. He's often asked me to leave Jem and move in with him in the past. And now I have.'

‘Oh, I see,' I said in indignation. ‘And this has been going on for some time, has it? Even while you was with Jem?'

‘Nothing has gone on between us,' sighed Ruby. ‘At least …'

‘At least what?'

‘Well, he's sweet on me, if you must know. And he's asked if I'll let him court me.'

‘And now you're living with him!' I cried out in disbelief. ‘Well, he's a fast worker, I'll give him that.'

‘He's a decent Christian man, Jack. I live in a spare room and that's how it'll stay for now.'

‘Will you court him?' I asked.

‘I don't know,' she sighed. ‘Perhaps. In time.' Her eyes moved from me then and it was as though she was talking to the far wall. She confessed something in a smaller voice. ‘He's asked me to marry him.'

Just then a large red-haired man appeared at the door and looked
at all of us before he turned to the comedian and pulled out a wallet.

‘How much is it then, Sid?' he asked in a thick Irish brogue.

‘Shut your big gob, Rafferty,' Sid replied, holding up a finger for silence. ‘This is
terrific
!'

‘Marry him?' I asked her. ‘You can't marry a man like that. He's poor.'

‘I didn't say I was going to,' she protested. ‘I don't know how I feel about him. But he can make me happy.'

‘
I
can make you happy, Ruby,' I said as she went over and collected her cloak what hung from a peg.

‘Perhaps you can,' she said as she put it on, ‘but you can also make me sad. I don't want that.'

She made for the door ‘But I can give you things,' I called out to her before she went, making her stop. ‘Diamonds, pearls, gold necklaces. Whatever you ask for.'

Ruby looked with pity to see me making such a fuss but I did not care. She shook her head as though I was just not listening to her. ‘I don't want your stolen trinkets, Dodger,' she said just before she passed by where Rafferty was standing. ‘I want a good man.'

‘But I can be that too,' I promised her. ‘It don't look hard. I'll be honest if you want.'

Ruby looked at me then and her face hardened. ‘No, you can't, Jack Dawkins,' she said before she left the room. ‘You're a villain and you always will be.'

She left and I just stood there in the middle of the room unable to speak. Sid Frizelle cleared his throat and turned to Rafferty. ‘Three crowns,' he said in a hushed voice, ‘or I ain't leaving.'

I had been rocked by what Ruby had just said, not only by the rejection of me but by her decision to live with a man so very different. I had been happier when she was with Jem, because
he was nothing but a lesser copy of myself. John Froggat was something else, however. I could not hope to compete with goodness.

The false Ruby, the one whose real name was Esmeralda, snatched the whisky bottle from Sid, poured some into two glasses and crossed over to where I stood.

‘Never mind, lover,' she said, and went to hand me one. ‘She don't know what's good for her. Personally I like a villain if he can promise me diamonds. What was your name again?'

I shoved her aside and dashed out into the corridor after my Ruby. I chased after her out of the theatre and she had reached the side alley by the time I caught up with her. She turned to face me as I clattered down the iron steps.

‘Don't make this harder than it need be, Jack,' she said. ‘I still care about you. I'd hate for us to fall out.' I stepped towards her and tried to make her see sense.

‘You're being a fool, Ruby,' I told her. ‘And you'll realise it in a few days after you've had a chance to calm yourself.'

‘I am calm, Jack. You're the one what's getting in a state.'

‘I'm not in a state,' I assured her. ‘Just … just let me come visit you at Saffron Hill some time tomorrow and we'll talk this over. I'll come see you and we—'

‘You can't visit me. John won't allow it.'

‘I don't care what Froggat will allow!' I shouted back at her. ‘It ain't his house. It's Fagin's!'

Ruby shook her head and told me I was wrong. ‘There's nothing there for you no more,' she said. ‘It's a different place now.'

I collected myself and tried again. ‘There are some things for me still there, Ruby,' I said. ‘Some remembrances of my childhood what are hidden in the attic. I need to go back and get them. So you've got to let me visit.'

‘Don't lie, Jack,' she said. ‘You've already been there and taken anything you wanted. John told me how you visited him one night and asked to stay in the attic, and I saw you the very next day in Smithfield Market. Warrigal had one of Fagin's old dolls sticking out of his pocket so I know you've already collected anything you wanted.'

‘That ain't what I'm on about,' I shot back at her. ‘That was for something else. I need to fetch my old tin box with all my …' And then I stopped talking.

‘What?' she said, and looked at me with impatience as I froze. ‘Is that all you have to say? Can I call myself a carriage now?' I stood there for a few more moments saying nothing. I had worked myself up into such a state that my mind was moving slower than normal.

‘How did you know it was Fagin's?' I asked at last.

‘How did I know what was Fagin's?'

‘The doll,' I answered. ‘What was sticking out of Warrigal's pocket. That could have been from anywhere.'

‘Let's not drag this out, please,' she said, and turned to walk out on to Wideapple Square. ‘There's nothing more to say.'

The theatre was emptying now. There was a large crowd spilling out into the cold night and looking for their own transport, but she barged her way through them and whistled for a hackney. I came up behind her and grabbed her shoulder. She spun back to me and shouted. There was tears in her eyes.

‘Leave me alone, Jack,' she cried. ‘I want nothing more to do with you. Won't you listen?'

‘How did you know it was Fagin's, Ruby?' I insisted. ‘Tell me how you recognised the doll.'

‘What does it matter?' she groaned. ‘I'm going home.'

‘All right, go to John Froggat then. I don't care if you marry
him and spawn a million Froggats. But just answer my question before you go. How did you recognise the doll?'

‘Because Fagin gave me one just like it,' she replied in exasperation. ‘It's a treasured possession if you must know.' I released her shoulder as a cab drew up along us. Ruby was talking to me with real disdain. ‘And I've looked after mine better than you have. Mine's still in one piece. I saw yours again when you stayed at our crib and it was broken in half. That's the trouble with you, Dodger,' she said after she had told the driver she wanted taking to Saffron Hill. ‘You don't respect nothing.'

Ruby climbed into the carriage and I did nothing to stop her from leaving. She did not look back at me through the uncurtained window once she was inside and I just remained on the pavement and watched the horse pull her away from me. I could have told her about the doll if I had wanted to, about how there was a priceless treasure within her possession; there would have been enough time. But she had hurt me and I did not want to.

I was surrounded by theatregoers all shoving and shouting over one another to hail the next cab what drew near and their bustle broke me out of my spell. I spun around to go and look for Warrigal, only to discover that he was standing right behind me in the crowd.

‘Warrigal,' I spluttered fast, ‘Ruby has the Jakkapoor stone!'

‘Heard,' Warrigal said nodding, which surprised me as I had not seen him about until now. ‘Follow,' he said, and pointed to another carriage.

I was unsure I wanted to do this. I did not want to go chasing after Ruby when she had just rejected my advance and, furthermore, I was unsure how Warrigal would behave if she refused to hand it over.

‘We know where she lives,' I told him. ‘Let's go home, rest and
head straight over there tomorrow. She ain't going nowhere.' I whistled loud enough for every passing horse to hear and, before he could protest, I had got inside a hackney and he had no choice but to join me.

The cruel words what Ruby had used to rebuff me had caused such pain that on the journey back to our new lodgings I could not even rejoice at the unexpected luck of tonight's discovery. I was in agony just thinking about how she might be making John Froggat her preference and not me and before long this agony had turned into anger.

‘She don't deserve no Jakkapoor stone,' I swore to Warrigal as the carriage trundled along. ‘Shatillion wrote that Fagin left it to a child because they was his favourite. There's a joke! Now she won't have nothing to do with no thieves and she was given a thief's treasure and don't even know it. Well, I ain't letting her keep it so she can sell it on, oh no. I'd rather steal it off her. See how she likes that.'

I crossed my arms and put my feet up on the upholstery opposite. Warrigal looked at me with an expression I had never seen on him before and it was hard to tell what it signified. If I did not know him better, I thought, I would suspect him of feeling sorry for me.