Docked (21 page)

“Just hold me.” My teeth chatter. “I need my medicine. It’s back in my room. I couldn’t get a hold of Lana.”

“Your medicine? What kind?”

“Xanax, for my panic attacks.”

“I’ll go get it. Breathe deeply. I’ll be right back.” He hurries off the bed and places my cell phone in my hand. “You call me the second you need me, understand?”

I shake my head and he snatches my room key from my clutch, then disappears. I roll over on my side and grab onto the pillows, watching the clock tick on the wall. The longer I focus, the calmer I become. Even though I’m watching the clock, I’m not sure how much time passes. I’m not paying attention to the numbers on the clock, only the long and short hands as they shift. My mind still registers the sway of the ship as it rocks me in Tanner’s bed, but my body is no longer alarmed.

At some point, Tanner returns, my prescription in hand. “Lana wasn’t in the room. She left a note for you. She and Brie decided to ditch girls’ night in and go to a party on Deck 10.” He undresses again and hands me a glass of water along with the pills. I sit up and swallow one, sighing in relief when I feel it slip down my throat.

It’s then that I look up at him.

His eyes are wide, jaw tight. I haven’t seen him this concerned about…well, anything. He waits for me to set the glass down, then climbs back into bed with me, opening his arms to welcome me. I accept and snuggle against him, nuzzling my nose into his neck.

“Feel better yet?” he asks quietly.

“It takes a few minutes.”

“How long have you been taking the meds?”

“Since the accident. Not every day, just as needed.”

“What else can I do to make you feel better?”

“Just this.” I squeeze him, wrapping my arms tightly.

“You’re beautiful in the rain.”

I giggle softly into his skin. “What?” When I look up at him, he’s staring at the ceiling.

“When I saw you standing there in the rain, my first reaction was fear—fear for you. I knew something was wrong. But then when I saw you up close,” he glances down with a sad smile, “all I could think was
fuck me, she’s beautiful in the rain
.”

“It seemed to me you were thinking about getting me out of the rain.” I reach up and stroke along the line of his jaw.

“That was just the adrenaline. My brain was on autopilot. But my heart—” He stops and wiggles a bit, his Adam’s Apple bobbing. “Despite your stubbornness back there, I must say I admire your tenacity, Miss Banks.”

“I’m just so tired of it owning me,” I sigh. “I want to own it, just as you’ve learned to. That was my whole reason for coming aboard this ship. Work was just a guise. Lana knew it, too. It’s why she fought so hard to get me on this cruise. So when the fear started to shut me down, when I felt that panic…I just wanted to tell it to fuck off.”

Tanner’s white teeth flash and his body shakes. “Such strong language from such a sophisticated, eloquent woman, Miss Banks.”

“Sophisticated, eloquent women find that language very useful in times of duress, Mr. Christensen.” A small smile twists my lips, and I feel the medicine begin to take hold, slowly unraveling the panic from my bones. It will still be another ten minutes or so before I begin to feel its full effect, but I’ve been taking it long enough to recognize its initial, soothing quality.

A few moments of silence pass. We lie there, watching the ceiling fan spin above us.

“You say you want to own it,” Tanner begins, “but I believe you already do.”

“Maybe,” I say wistfully, “but it doesn’t feel like it. Not yet.”

His voice turns solemn. “You’ll know when you do.”

“Tanner?” My chest muscles begin to relax, and my eyes start to drift close. “Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure, Miss Banks.”

As I float off into a sleepy haze, Tanner’s phone rings and I feel him shift beneath me, feel his warmth disappear. I curl into the pillows and pull my body against the sheets as he slips out of bed, and then I’m gone.

TEN

A pounding headache awakens me, and I find myself alone in Tanner’s bed. His cabin is quiet, the bedroom door wide open. I blink and find the alarm clock on the left. It’s nearly noon. I crawl out of bed and opt for a long, hot shower, then pull on my dress from the night before, which Tanner carefully hung on a wooden hanger to dry. I take the opportunity to raid his fridge for a late breakfast of fresh fruit. Once I have some tea and my stomach is satisfied, I head out of the cabin, calling Lana as I step into the elevator.

“You had me worried sick,” she says the moment she picks up.

“Good morning.”

“It’s noon. Are you alright? Tanner was frantic last night on the phone. I called him after you passed out. I’m so sorry I missed your call.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Really, Lan. It’s okay.”

“I calmed down once I learned he was with you, but holy shit, An, you really gave me a scare. I know the weather was kind of nasty last night. I should have called you to check on you. Brie and I decided to go out after all, and we just got carried away. I feel awful!”

“Lana, will you stop? You can’t babysit me. I’m okay now.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, positive. Tanner ran back to our room and found my meds. I’m just leaving his place now. Where are you?”

“I’m hanging by the pool on Deck 10, getting some work done. Hey, I’m researching his father right now. Did you know he died in some tragic car accident?”

The elevator doors open, but I don’t move.

“No, I didn’t. Tanner mentioned his father passed away, but he didn’t tell me much else.”

“It’s strange, I can’t seem to find any comments from Tanner or his mother. They’ve been pretty tight lipped about the whole thing, apparently.”

“
Hhhmm
,” I murmur, stepping out into the hall. “They probably wanted some privacy to deal with the grief.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” I hear the tapping of fingers on a keyboard. “I also found out Tanner will be joining forces with Simmons International, a competitor cruise liner. Some merger deal, or something. They might be changing the name of the Trident Voyager.”

“Oh, really? His secretary said something last night about a merger. And I saw some notes on his desk about it.”

“Anya Banks, you were snooping!”

“I was not! I was just organizing his desk again. The man is so damn unorganized, it makes me crazy. I don’t know how he functions in that office of his.”

Lana laughs. “Okay, well, I’ll see you in a bit. I have to get these notes done and do a little more digging so you have plenty to work with. I spoke to Ted, and it’s official—the review is definitely yours. He was quite thrilled that Tanner Christensen himself called to recommend you for the feature.”

I smile. “Well, okay, but don’t worry about doing too much research. It’s a review, not an informative piece. You know the drill.”

“I know, I know, but maybe some of this dirt will give you ideas for an angle. I’ve been partying all week, I need to do some work to justify my ass being on this ship.” She giggles and sighs. “Come find me when you’re ready.”

“Will do. Thanks, Lan.” We hang up and I start for Tanner’s office. I want to thank him again for last night and wish him a good day before I meet up with Lana. I begin composing him a text to let him know I’m on my way.

I reach his office and Heidi is there, once again typing away, her fingers flying so quickly over the keyboard, it makes my head spin. Her eyes are wide and the phone is ringing off the hook. She glances up at me and holds up a finger, answering the line. Tanner’s office doors are closed, and I hear a low rumbling from behind them, then a loud crash. I jump, glancing curiously at Heidi. She hangs up and drops her head in her hands.

“Hey, Miss Banks, what can I do for you?” She lifts a bottle of aspirin from the desk and flinches when the phone rings again. “You look like you’re feeling better today.”

“Thanks. You look…stressed.” Another loud crash sounds from Tanner’s office and we both glance toward the doors. “Is everything okay?”

“Define
okay
.” She pops an aspirin and chases it down with some water.

“Um…I was wondering if I could have a second with Tanner.”

“Enter at your own risk. He’s on the warpath today. He might just lob my head off if I send you in there, but he seems fond of you, so I’m willing to take the risk. Maybe you can calm him down.” She waves me away frantically, urging me on, and I hesitantly start for the door, not bothering to knock. I stand there for a moment and listen. With a deep breath, I step inside.

And my jaw drops.

There’s glass everywhere—surrounding his desk, in the middle of the room, and in the corner, in heaps near the wall. Broken pieces of what look like picture frames are scattered with the glass, and upon closer inspection, I see photos and what look like awards of some sort.

“Tanner?” I gasp, closing the door behind me.

He’s pacing in front of the office windows, pulling at his hair. He spins when he hears me, chest heaving. “What are you doing here, Miss Banks?”

“I—I came to thank you again for last night. I…Tanner, what’s going on?”

“It’s no business of yours. Please, Anya, now isn’t a good time.”

“You’re bleeding,” I say, moving forward when I spot smeared crimson on his knuckles.

“I’m fine,” he huffs, turning away.

I don’t let him deter me. I grab his hand and inspect it, glancing around for a box of tissues. I spot and pluck one up from the corner of the desk and begin to dab at the blood. “Hold still a minute.” I press the tissue firmly against him and walk to the bottom left desk drawer.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Getting the first aid kit.”

“What first aid kit?”

“The one you didn’t know you had. I stored it in this drawer when I cleaned your desk last night.”

His nostrils flare. “About that. You have to stop doing that.”

“I was only trying to help.”

“Well, you’ve made a mess of things. I can’t find a single number I need.”

I retrieve the first aid kit and pause to peel a yellow sticky note from his forearm. It’s stuck to the bottom of the suit jacket sleeve. I smile and hand it to him, but that seems to only upset him more. He slams it onto the desktop.

“All of your numbers are right there, next to the phone.” I nod to an arrangement of notes, but he doesn’t follow my gaze.

“Miss Banks, this isn’t necessary.” He pulls the tissue from his knuckle, knots it up and tosses it in the trash can. “Thank you for stopping by, but I’m busy at the moment.”

“I’ll leave you be as soon as you’re cleaned up. Do not argue with me, Mr. Christensen.” My gaze floats up and locks on his. The exchange is brief. I tear open an alcohol wipe and rub his knuckle, blowing on the skin to soothe the sting. He flinches. I feel his eyes on me, but I keep working. Next comes the ointment and bandages, and he remains quiet, allowing me to play nurse. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?” I discard the bandage wrappers and then step closer, lowering a hand to brush over his groin, stroking softly. His eyes burn and his hands move to cup my ass, pulling me tighter against him.

His voice is gravelly. “You know how to speak my language, Miss Banks.”

I playfully give him a push back, guiding him to his desk chair, and he lets himself fall into it, his intense gaze following my every move. I slowly stroll toward him and begin pulling the straps of my dress down my shoulders, wedging myself between his legs. He splays them wide, letting me wiggle my way in, and begins stroking himself over his pants.

“I believe it’s my turn to take care of you,” I say, smirking coyly. I start to lower my body, bringing my knees to the floor. He groans at the sight but doesn’t let me stay there long. I’m swiftly brought back to my feet and picked up, then set on the edge of the desk.

“You’ll cut your knees,” he says huskily. “Glass everywhere.” He switches places with me, positioning his waist between my legs, and then bends to bring his mouth down on mine. This kiss is ferocious. Starved and 100 percent desperate. Somewhere, a spring in him snaps and he’s tearing at my dress as if he can’t get to my skin fast enough. His hands cover my bare breasts and squeeze hard, his teeth nipping at my bottom lip. “Let me please you, Miss Banks.”

“I want to please you.” I bite him back, thrusting my hips up to search for the friction. His wild, piercing sapphire eyes find me and he lifts me again, wrapping me around his waist. He turns us and stumbles over to the porthole window on the left, which is placed at an angle next to the main window. My back hits the glass and he moans, freeing his cock and yanking my panties and dress down my legs.

“You do please me. Every damn time.” He grabs himself and presses against my entrance, palm smacking flat against the porthole window. “Let me in, baby.”

I sigh in pure pleasure as I lower myself and take him. His fingers glide against the sides of my ass as he holds me against the window, and his mouth covers mine, devouring me. A collective moan escapes us at the contact, and then Tanner’s thighs are flexing against me, his heart pounding against my chest.