Do Dead People Walk Their Dogs? (7 page)

I do try
hard not to overgeneralize, but I believe that most if not all children have this ability. But again, it has to do with how much support the child receives when they mention their experiences to parents or older siblings—others they see as role models. Some kids may get teased about their “secret” or “invisible” friends and so will keep quiet about who they see or speak with. And it is overwhelmingly the case that kids eventually shift their focus exclusively to what we think of as the material world and then will lose their ability to have these kinds of contact. Personally, the stories my clients tell me about children talking with their deceased relatives are some of my most favorite.

For one, there was a young woman who came to see me and told me that her mother had died a few years earlier and she was not ready to lose her mom. She was very sad and upset, just missing her so much. She had a daughter of her own who was just tiny when her mom passed. About two years later, she still hadn’t completely gotten over the loss of her mom. One day her little girl (who was about four or five years old then) said to her, “Don’t be sad! She’s right here! She’s going like this!” and the little girl puckered up her lips like she was about to give a big sloppy kiss to someone. Well, my client was completely taken aback. She told me that some years before, when her daughter was just an infant, her mother had told her about a dream she’d had. She’d said that she’d been dreaming about her new granddaughter and dreamed that she was kissing her. She woke up the next morning with her lips still in a pucker. She and her mom had laughed about that dream all the time while her mom was still living.

Another story that I thought was really neat was from a woman whose mother’s brother (her uncle) was named Nick. Nick died when this woman was thirteen years old. Years later she’d married and had a little baby boy who she decided to name for her uncle. When her baby was around eighteen months old, she and her mother were visiting in her kitchen while baby Nick was upstairs in his crib. They could hear him on the baby monitor and were amused to hear him chattering away and laughing. Together they went upstairs to the nursery and little Nick was standing up in his crib. Joining in her son’s high enthusiasm, she came up to him and said excitedly, “Hi! Who are you talking to?” And her son pointed across the room and said, “Nick!”

We all have
a variety of psychic talents, which are all gifts from God. It’s up to the individual to nurture and cultivate their gifts by heart and spirit, not ego. They’ll manifest for the greatest good when the person who has the gifts submits to fellowship with God on some level and agrees to follow instructions from God to “deliver the goods.” More and more are doing this, consciously. The veil that separates us from the Other Side is a dense consciousness. By the choices we make and the actions we take and the skills we develop, humanity is getting closer to Heaven—it’s not Heaven getting closer to us.

In 1977, when
I was twenty-four, I took a course in TM—transcendental meditation. This was back when I was trying to reconnect with the Other Side. As a teen I hadn’t wanted anything to do with my ability; hearing from dead people was not something that every sixteen-year-old did, and I’d just wanted to be as normal as possible and fit in with my friends. But in my early twenties I was reconsidering, so this was one of the steps I took—learning how to quiet down and focus inward. For me, a very social, fun-loving type, it was very weird, but it really was good for me; it got me in touch with all I know about the Other Side. Basically, you can do meditation any way that floats your boat, whatever gets you to your happy place. Some might get there by saying a rosary or other prayers. You can put on low music, light candles, and sit back and think about all you love in your life. I like to take seven strong, deep breaths, all the while saying, “I’m turning it all over to you, God.” I think to myself, “This is how I’d like my life to be,” and then I mentally turn it over to God. It’s always different. I love to do it just before I go to sleep. In many ways, my meditation is just my own prayer about what I would like to have, how I’d like my life to be—my work, the people I love. I can do it anywhere—no lotus position or meditation cushion required. I could be floating on a raft or driving with John or on my own and just be saying this kind of a prayer quietly in my mind. I tend to keep things simple—that’s what works for me. Every now and then, maybe if something big is going on, I’ll make more of a big deal about it, more of a ritual, or maybe sometimes I just feel like being a little fancier. But most of the time, it’s just like any other part of my day, like making dinner—a lot of times you just don’t want to fuss. Paper napkins are fine for the mac and cheese. Sometimes you have someone over; you go to a little more trouble—get out the napkin rings and linen napkins, candles, the good plates. Make a little more effort, make it a little more special.

Keep in mind
that in God’s eyes we are all beautiful! And once again, it’s a choice: Beauty can be how we see ourselves. What society calls “beautiful” or “pretty” changes from year to year, let alone from century to century. If
Project Runway
was set in the fourteenth century we’d see Botticelli cherubs on the catwalk, not six-foot-tall, eighty-pound sticks, but full legs, big butts, round tummies, big boobs, and small boobs. Physical beauty and our ideas about what is beautiful are transient but the spirit is not. God created everyone’s spirit beautiful.

A lot of
people will confuse behavior with personality. They really are two different things. So it’s not really that the personality has been altered by the physical brain being damaged—whether it is congenital or from an accident or illness. At the soul level, the personality is the same, but the physical problem is inhibiting the person’s ability to express their true nature. I admit that the effect—regardless of the reason—seems the same. But it’s really not the same thing at all. On the Other Side, all is perfection, so the personality there is the true personality. Nobody brings brain damage to the Other Side. Since most people on this side do not have this kind of impairment, it’s completely obvious that the personality is retained. In cases of physical brain damage on this side, again, we might see glimmers of the true personality, but the individual’s physical limitations may keep them from showing who they really are.

Yes, I do
believe that under the right circumstances we can; the angels will show themselves to us, although we might not even be aware that what (or who) we are seeing is an angel because they may show themselves in a form that looks completely human. Someone who steps in and does a good turn for you when you are really in need and then “magically” disappears might actually be an angel. I had a letter from a woman who said that ever since her father had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s he claims to see angels. For a while he seemed to be frightened of them, but later he began to take his sightings in stride, waving to them and saying, “We see you.” She said her mother was concerned, but she herself felt that it was possible his brain had been altered in such a way that he had a greater capacity for perception; in other words, he could see what was invisible to others. I would agree.

Alzheimer’s and other kinds of dementia can be so frightening; it’s so disorienting to not be able to make sense of things we used to take for granted. Sometimes the afflicted person is completely unaware, but other times, they are somewhat aware and it can be very distressing to them. In the case of this woman’s father, instead of losing a capability, he’s actually gained an ability—to see physically what usually is not visible to our eyes. Of course this can be scary, too, but it sounds like he has become adjusted and is no longer intimidated. He sees that they are not there to hurt him. We usually have trouble with things we can’t feel or touch, but angels—if we could see them—are around us all the time. There’s no reason to fear them.

Ghosts, or spirits,
if you prefer, can travel anywhere they please. The tendency is for them to hang around near loved ones, but these days, many of us have loved ones all over the world, not like the old days with six generations of extended family all together in a three-village radius. But to be clear, while generally speaking there is no place the spirit of our loved one would rather be than close by us, if they choose to go elsewhere, they can. This is God’s gift to us when we cross over—the existence of our choosing. My father used to love to go for long car rides when he was here. Later in his life, his body wouldn’t allow him that pleasure—he couldn’t sit that long without pain, and he needed too many bathroom breaks to make it enjoyable. But once he crossed, I heard from him that he and my brother Harold were taking long drives through the mountains. That’s what he loved so that’s what he does. Somebody else could say, “Hey, I never had any time or money to travel when I was in material form, so I think I’ll just zip over and see the Eiffel Tower,” or “I always wanted to see a whale in its natural habitat,” and they could do that. Anything that spirits are inclined to do or see, they can. Why? Because it’s perfect.

Yes, I’m sure
they can—at least they would be able to approximate the sensation of a hug. I did talk about this in my first book—how dead guys will sometimes mess with my feet when I’m in bed. This is done with energy rather than actual hands or body. They can energetically press up against you in bed or, yes, when you are in the shower. I’ve had people tell me that a dead loved one would sit on their bed and they could feel the depression in the mattress. I got a letter from a woman who said that a deceased loved one even tucks the covers around her sometimes. Another woman wrote to me that a few months after her husband had crossed he came to her during the night and pulled her close to him. Their dog was sleeping at the end of the bed, and at the same time she felt her husband, the dog began to whimper. Clearly both she and her pet felt her husband’s energy. Another woman wrote me that one day she was cleaning in the bedroom when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. When she turned, clear as day she saw a little boy who looked exactly like her youngest daughter. She knew the boy was her daughter’s twin, who she’d lost early in her pregnancy. She was very com-forted to know that he was still around her and, she said, knowing of his presence explained the occasional tugging at the lower back of her shirt she sometimes felt!

It’s all energy.
I can’t explain the exact mechanics of it, but virtually anything that happens here happens because of energy—from a seed growing into a plant, to cooking our dinner. We may stir a pot of gravy to help it along, but in terms of manual manipulations we don’t have anything to do with making a plant grow. It pushes up out of the ground on its own. Spirits themselves are energy and somehow they manage to turn on the faucet in the bathtub, which to me seems like quite a challenge to do without hands, but they manage. We have to remember that our core essence is energy—our spirit form—and the body is just a shell or a vehicle. We’re used to thinking of it as necessary but it’s actually limiting; without it we are actually more powerful than with it.

It’s hard to
pick one, but this is the first that comes to mind at this moment. I’ll just say a word or two (maybe several) about self-confidence. I consider myself a very confident person. I am not sure that I was like this since birth, but for most of my life I have been, and it’s not just because I’m a big ham. I was fortunate to have loving parents who always supported and encouraged me. That is an incomparable blessing and it’s one that I’ve thanked God for over and over throughout my life. I’ve also had the benefit of lots of help from the Other Side. Even though I was dyslexic and was not the best student in school, the Other Side always reminded me that I was a good person, I was worthy; they reminded me of the things I was good at so I didn’t tend to dwell on the things that I wasn’t good at the way some people do. It’s like that TV commercial where the girl calls her dad to tell him she got an A on her advanced physics test and instead of being happy for her and congratulating her and saying how proud he is, he starts berating her for calling on the cell phone and using precious, expensive minutes to deliver her news. I know it’s meant to be funny, but I’m sure glad my parents weren’t like that! That’s the kind of thing that can kill your self-confidence, make you feel like you can never do anything right, never be good enough, and that feeling or belief will completely ruin your life. Why does this matter? Because self-confidence is literally the key to having everything you want. The secret is that God wants you to have a life full of everything you enjoy—health, wealth, happiness, pleasure, love, and peace. Nothing left out. But when we don’t feel confident, we don’t feel deserving. When we don’t feel deserving, we begin to self-censor. We say, “I shouldn’t have that,” or “I won’t take that,” or “Someone else probably needs that more.” I’m not talking about being greedy or insensitive or ungenerous; I’m talking about taking yourself out of line anytime there is something appealing on offer, whether it’s a career advancement, an interesting person, or a nice apartment. You know what I’m talking about. If it’s a third giant slice of chocolate cake, maybe you
shouldn’t
take it. But if it’s a chance at wedded bliss, a vacation to Hawaii just for being the one millionth customer through the door, or a bow for a job well done, then take it! What’s the harm? Use your judgment, people!

Some of the least confident people get in the way of their own greater happiness by pretending they are
over
confident. If you are one of those people who prides themselves on being a hard case or a tough cookie, then try flipping that switch. What do you get out of that, anyway? Is anyone really scared of you? And if they are, is that really a good thing? We all need each other. Making themselves seem unapproachable is the same thing as taking themselves out of the goody line. It seems to me that people like that lose more than they get, and in most cases, they started playing that role just so others wouldn’t see that they were nervous or afraid about something themselves. So, like I said, why not try flipping the switch, try not being so tough, practice your smile repertoire, offer someone some help with a project or a tight spot they are in and see what happens. I bet you discover that you really are a strong, confident person without the tough-guy act. And instead of it being “I’m in control so don’t you try to mess with me,” it’ll be “I’m in control and can make very cool things happen for you and me.” Wow! Much better!

This is something I wish everyone would practice every day—telling yourself that you are perfect and good and happy. If you don’t have someone in your life who will give you strokes just for being you and all the nice things you do (be honest—you
know
you do nice things), then you need to give them to yourself.

And last, let your self-confidence ooze throughout every aspect of your life, including how you view yourself physically—that’s an area where just about everyone beats themselves up to some degree because they don’t match a photo of some fifteen-year-old dolled up to look thirty in a magazine. Personally, I always look my best! That’s just my attitude. Maybe you’ve seen this joke that goes around on the Internet from time to time. It’s a picture of a woman looking into a full-length mirror, we see her from behind—she’s got a butt a yard wide. But the image in the mirror is this beautiful shapely vixen. I’m telling you—
that’s my mirror!

When we are self-confident, the universe opens its arms to us!