Diving In (Open Door Love Story) (8 page)

I think about a moment ago when I was getting off on the power of getting him hard and I know I want that, but I also really, really like this. This is a connection. This is about both of us and not my stupid ego and what it needs. Can I deal, though? If this is it? If this is all I’ll ever be able to give him, because I know he can make me come. Without a doubt he can satisfy me, but that’s not really what I’m hesitant about.

“Can you deal if this is all of you that works?” I ask tenderly.

“I want to.” He brushes my hair back from my face and touches my chin, lifting my face to look at him. “You’re the unknown, Brynn. You’re like standing on the high dive in a dream – you have to have had this dream, I think all swimmers have – where you’re up there and you’re looking down and you can’t see the bottom of the pool and instead of being afraid, you want it. You want to be in that water more than anything, to immerse yourself in it because it makes you feel alive.”

“And so you dive in?” I ask. I’ve never had that dream, yet I know exactly where he’s coming from. He’s that for me, too.

Gabe kisses my forehead. “Damn right you do.” He chuckles. “Although, it’s better as a metaphor for falling in love than it is in practicality.” He points to himself. “Exhibit A.”

“Why you always gotta ruin a moment, man?”

“Why you always gotta talk like a hustler from a ’70s TV show?”

“Bitch, I gots no idea what you’re talkin’ about.” I sit up, resting back on my heels. “Is this how your make out sessions have always gone? In my experience, there is less endearing love talk and mention of hustlers. Usually, you know, mouth on my tits, hands down my pants, that sorta thing.”

“I strive to not be Andy,” Gabe says, resting his hands on my hips. I feel him flexing his fingers against my skin. “And I want to be your friend, too, as shocking as that may sound. I think the high dive emotions only come for someone you actually like in addition to wanting to bang.”

And that’s when he gets hard.

I take his hands, placing one on my left breast and one on his erection. “Which do you think did that? Boobs or friendship?”

“Huh,” he says, then laughs. “You. Both are part of you, and this is what you do to me.”

I fall on top of him and look into his eyes. “That’s the rightest answer any man has ever given any woman.”

“The water feels perfect, doesn’t it?” he asks.

“You got that right, my man.”

Chapter Eleven

I go into, well downstairs to, work on Friday to catch up on paperwork and to do some research on hiring people in wheelchairs. Sure, we got the front door working properly, but who knows what all else might need fixing or brought up to ADA standards?

Ginormous coffee in hand, I settle in at my desk for a few hours of fun, but my mind keeps slipping away to thoughts of Gabe and yesterday evening on the couch. Nothing more happened physically, and not because of either one of us not wanting it to, but I think we both were still soaking in the fact that someone who wanted us also accepted us. There was a whole lot of mental and emotional going on, so the physical had to be put on hold.

Except, once I’d kissed him goodnight and hopped out of the van, alone in my apartment all I could do was think about having him. So much so, that I’d dreamt of him. And it was most certainly not a dream about jumping off of a high dive.

Gabe’s legs worked. He walked toward me. He lifted me up and held me off the ground in a hug. Gabe gazed down at me, took my hand, led me to the end of the dock. We sat there, our legs dangling over the sides, kicking water at each other, kissing, his arm wrapped around me.

It was so utterly like how it could’ve been that I woke up angry and disappointed and then immediately felt guilty because the Gabe of could’ve been never would have looked at me twice. Not because he wasn’t a decent person or because he was a snob, I just wasn’t on his radar. Now, I’m on his radar. And the Gabe I get is a little bit, okay a lot, broken and that isn’t exactly fair. Especially not to him, but also not to me.

For the first time, I get why Dani loves my brother despite the fact he and my family put her through hell. She is the only person who can love him the right way, the exact way he needs. And Gabe, maybe he needs me in the same way. He needs the person who is going to protect him, even if it means sacrificing some of herself to do it. I don’t doubt that holding on to the secret of Gabe’s accident is going to destroy me at some point, but as long as it never touches him, well, maybe that is some fairness coming his way. Some balance.

I think about the napkin in my coat pocket and the note from Izzy. I should text her about a meet up. The sooner I explain where I’m coming from and find out what she’s planning, the better.

My phone chimes and I look at the text from Gabe.

Wondered if you could do me a favor? Let me borrow your keys to the Aquatic Center later? Travis and I want to take a swim.

Doesn’t Travis have a pool in his house?

All dug up. Some plumbing issues. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?

Can I come with? You’ll get in less trouble if I’m there. I didn’t cancel my class tonight, but no one is going to show.

Excellent! Pick you up at 5?

Sure. See you then.

Damn, how I want some fairness to come my way too. Why does Travis Chandler have to be such a smug bastard? He’d done something awful and I’d saved his ass from jail when I could’ve said something. Especially now when what he’d held over my head can’t be used against me anymore. Shouldn’t he be staying as far away from Gabe and me and Izzy as possible? I mean, Izzy is legit ready to talk, to me at least, maybe more if I was on board. Which I can’t be.

I grab my jacket, fish the napkin out of the pocket, and type Izzy’s number into my phone, but I don’t send a text. I don’t want to deal with any of this! Why can’t Gabe and I stay in our new relationship bubble without any interruptions for one measly weekend? The secret has held for three plus years. Izzy can wait until Monday.

The more I mull over Travis’s motives all afternoon, the more afraid I get. Has he found new dirt on someone close to me? I can see how it is Izzy’s word against his in her case. It’s beyond lame that’s how things work, but that’s how things work. Rich white guy against working class girl who’s been in and out of rehab … even if she does tell her story, Travis Chandler’s lawyers will bury her. So, he has me to worry more about. Me to focus on. And all I keep thinking is it has to be something about Grandpa because if Travis has done any kind of real digging, he’ll know that I will throw my parents under the bus. I just will. They should’ve been better parents and people if they didn’t want that to happen.

At quarter to five, I run upstairs to grab my swim bag and binge eat some Nutter Butters. My stomach is all flip floppy and even though I have one less issue to deal with than I had the night before Thanksgiving, I don’t feel any less barfy.

I look out the window and see Gabe’s van pull into his spot. I take off downstairs and get into the van before I can spook myself any further.

“Hey, ba-by,” Gabe says in an Elvis voice, backing out of the parking spot.

“Hey,” I reply, hoping I’m not as pale and sweaty looking as I feel.

“Ready to swim?”

I shrug. “Sure, why not?”

Gabe laughs. “Don’t be so enthusiastic.”

“I always swim on Friday nights, so it’s no big deal to me is all.”

“Okay,” he drawls. “You’re putting out a vibe like you’re not so into this. If you just wanna give me the keys, it’s cool.”

“No, it’s not,” I snap. “You guys can’t be in there without me. There has to be a lifeguard on duty and I need to make sure Travis isn’t going to get all drunk and do something awesome like pee off the high dive.”

“Dude, you pee off a high dive once in 8
th
grade and you never live it down!” Gabe smirks at me.

I smirk back. I need to chill the fuck out or I’m going to give myself away.

“Look,” Gabe says, “I know Chandler can be kind of a d-bag, especially toward women, but he really is a cool guy once you get past the rich kid façade. He’s just as insecure as anyone else is.”

“If you say so.”

Gabe reaches over and chucks me under the chin. “I say so.”

Travis meets us at the entrance to the aquatic center. He nods hello to me and then says, “Thanks for letting us do this. Every year since I stopped swimming I get more sentimental for the good ol’ days when Gabe and I were kings of the pool.”

“I remember Gabe being a king,” I say. “You were more of a baron.”

“Ouch!” Gabe says, laughing. “Not even a duke, bro!”

“Whatever, plebes,” Travis jokes, and it seems like he really is just joking and not trying to be backhanded about it.

I unlock the door, wait for them to go through, and then lock it behind them. We head off to our respective locker rooms and then meet out on the pool deck.

“The stupid battery that stupid Greg is supposed to charge is dead once again,” Gabe says, imitating me. We both flip off the chair lift.

“Give me a hand, will ya?” Travis asks. Without waiting for an answer, he rolls Gabe over to the shallow end with the stairs and locks the wheels on his chair. “I’ll lift up one side and you take the other.”

“Oh, you two,” Gabe says sweetly as he brushes a fake tear from his eye. “You put the T and A in team work.”

“I guess I don’t need to ask which one of us is the ass?” Travis says.

I get on the opposite side of Gabe from Travis and slide my right hand under Gabe’s knee. Gabe puts his arms around our shoulders. Travis and I make eye contact, take a breath, and lift Gabe up. Even with both of us doing the work, Gabe is not the lightest guy.

“Don’t your legs weigh, like a pound each by now? How are you getting heavier and not turning into a fatty?”

Gabe flexes his pecs in response. Travis starts laughing and lets his grip slip a bit.

“Can we just get in the pool, jackholes?” I blurt.

I step down into the water in tandem with Travis when something occurs to me. “Hey, one of you is lying. Gabe said he hadn’t been in the water and Travis, you said you hadn’t been swimming with him since his accident. How do you know that’s he’s gotten heavier?”

“Because he’s lifted me into my chair a billion times.” Gabe rolls his eyes. “Chicks always be tryin’ to catch you in a lie!”

Travis doesn’t find this quite as hilarious as Gabe and gives me a tentative smile.

“When a billion times?” I press on. We take another step down.

Travis shrugs. “On breaks and stuff, y’know. I, uh, felt horrible that it all went down at my house and I wanted Gabe to know that we’d always be friends, no matter what.”

“Yeah, like, I totally resent you, but besides that, we’re good, man.”

We stand on the last step, holding Gabe up is much easier now with the help of the water. “What’s our plan here?” I ask.

“Let’s get out a little deeper so his feet don’t drag,” Travis says. “Gabe and I want to try something – it may be a total fail – but it will work better if you help us.”

“Uh oh, I don’t like the sound of that.” I think about what Gabe’s mom told me yesterday and wonder if he’s up for whatever shenanigans Travis has planned.

“So, I was going to attempt to swim underwater with Gabe holding onto me, but now that I’ve seen how much our boy has grown, I think it’s going to take two of us to haul his buff ass around.”

“See, honey? It’s like swimming with dolphins!”

I shoot Gabe a look of death while Travis starts making Flipper noises.

“First off, fuck you both. Second off,” I smile great big, “I’m game.”

More dolphin hysterics from Travis. I really want to refuse to warm up to the guy, but I’m warming up to the guy.

“How am I going to hold onto you both? I can get a decent grip on Brynn’s swimsuit, but it would be better if you all had a harness on or something.”

“Plus, I’d rather you not pull my swimsuit off in mixed company.”

Gabe nods. “Well, there is that.”

“What if we take the belts of the Styrofoam floaters? You all have those here?” Travis asks.

“Good idea,” I say, getting excited. I gently drop my side of Gabe and trudge through the water back up the stairs and head to the closet where we keep all the gear. After searching for a couple minutes – I’ll admit to not being the neatest when putting the gear back after class – I find two floaters and slide the white nylon belts off of them. These will work perfectly.

Travis and I take turns helping Gabe stay above water white the other puts on their belt. When we’re both ready, Gabe takes a sturdy tug on the belts one at a time and they stay put.

I lean in and kiss him quickly. “This is going to be fun.”

We walk down the length of the pool until I can barely touch the floor on my tippy toes.

“Ready?” Travis asks me and Gabe.

“Let’s give it a go,” Gabe answers.

We collectively take a deep breath and submerge as one. Right off the bat, I kick Gabe in the side and Travis and I can’t quite get our rhythm sorted, he’s taller than I am and stronger, so he has to adjust down to my pace. By the third time we surface for air, though, we’ve got our routine down. Stroke and kick three times, glide, stroke and kick two times, up for air. Turning around when we reach the end of the lane results in a minor fuck up and I’m sure Gabe is gonna have some wall scratches on his legs, but I think we’re all enjoying swimming together so much that he won’t hold it against us.

After two rounds, Gabe tugs on our belts and we surface next to the wall so we can all hold on and catch our breath.

“That was amazing! Thank you, humanoid dolphins,” Gabe says, wiping the water from his face with his hand. “I think I’ve had all I can handle for one night, though.”

“Me too,” Travis says. “Between hauling your poundage and having to stroke short to keep at Brynn’s pace, I’m beat. You guys want to go grab some dinner? My treat.”

“I want you to say stroke short again,” Gabe says, laughing.

“Don’t know why, you should be used to hearing it. Brynn probably has to stroke you short all the time.”

Gabe and I both turn a beety hue and that gets Travis going even more.

“Oh my God, Brynn. Have you touched my friend’s penis?”

“Not as many times as you have—” I say.

“Not as many times as you bro—” Gabe says at the same time.

“Ooh, looks like I’m not the only who owes him dinner then, lady.”

“I believe you said it was your treat, Travis. No take backs,” I say.

“Fine, fine. Can we hoist Big Boy back into his chair now?”

I wait in the lobby for the guys to finish getting ready. Whoever said that women take longer apparently never dated a guy in a chair or one with a product regimen.

Travis actually comes out first, looking and smelling way better than I do. Guess there’s something to be said for caring about how you look. He gives me a once over and grins.

“I’m enjoying hanging out with you,” he says finally.

“Jeez, don’t act so surprised. Although, it’s…”

Travis sighs. “It is. Listen, I wanted you to know that I spoke with Izzy the—”

“You did what?” I put my hand over his mouth. “Gabe can’t hear any of this.”

Travis reaches up and removes my hand from his mouth. “He’s going to be at least five more minutes – he’s dealing with his catheter.”