Divine (6 page)

Jimbo shook a fist at her mama. "Don't make me teach you a lesson, Jayne. I need you back here early if you're gonna get work. The customers expect you to be available."

Mary knew what Jimbo was talking about. He wanted her mama to get night work, and that meant she had to be dressed in her short skirt and outside on the sidewalk before it got dark. Mary felt sicker than before, but she wasn't sure whether it was the cheesy sausage or the fact that her mother was going to be gone most of the night.

Her mama tucked her into bed in the room the two of them shared. "See you in the morning." She bent down and kissed Mary's forehead. "I'm sorry about things, Mary. It'll get better."

"I know." Mary reached out and put her hand on the back of her mother's head. "Be careful."

She left then and when she was gone, Mary got an idea. Her mother met up with the men out front on the sidewalk. Maybe if she opened the window she could spy on her mama, make sure she was okay. Mary tiptoed out of bed and opened the window. It stuck halfway up, but it allowed her to see outside. After a few minutes, her mama came into view. She wore a black skirt and black stockings. Her shirt was cut low, and her hair was different than before, bigger.

Mama was out on the street just five minutes when a man crossed the street and walked up to her. He was one of those businessmen who walked up and down the sidewalks of the city, the kind dressed in stiff suits.

Mary watched him stop a few feet from her mama. He looked her up and down. "Hey, baby, you for sale?" He took a step closer. "You look it."

"Maybe." Her mother studied him. In the glare of the streetlight, Mary could see that the man had a fancy watch and nice shoes.

"I got some business associates in town for a three-day meeting." He leaned his head back. His look said he knew her answer before he asked the question. "You up for a three-day job?"

She tapped the toe of her spiked heel and hesitated a long time. "What's the pay?"

The man shrugged. "Fifteen hundred."

Her mother must have worked hard not to react, because she raised her brow and gave him a half smile. "Two grand."

The man laughed. "You're not that pretty, lady." He started to walk past her, but he stopped and pursed his lips, as if maybe he was reconsidering. "Tell you what. . . eighteen hundred, but you do whatever we ask. All five of us." He winked at her. "Got it?"

Her mama's expression changed. She looked sick, the way she did when she drank too much wine. "I have some arrangements to make." She took a step back. "I'll start tomorrow."

The man thought for a minute. "Fine. I'll come for you at eight." He winked at her again. "Be ready ... if you know what I mean."

As he walked off, her mother watched him go. Then she came back inside. Mary heard the door, and real quick she shut the window. Jimbo didn't like the windows open. Bad guys could get in. Mary hurried to the bedroom door, opened it, and listened. Her mother was talking to Jimbo.

"I got a job. Three days straight. Starts tomorrow night."

Jimbo did a slow laugh. "Now that's more like it."

Mary's stomach rumbled, and she couldn't catch her breath. Her mama would be gone for three days? That was too long. Jimbo and Lou couldn't watch her for three whole days. Who would find her something to eat? And where would her mama go? Maybe she wouldn't be safe. She quieted her thoughts and listened.

Her mother was talking. "When I get back I pay you what I owe you." Her voice sounded angry. "Then I'm through with you. No more junk, no more tricks. I'm going home."

"That's your choice, baby." There was still a laugh in Jimbo's voice.

For a little while there was no talking. Then her mother started in again. "One more thing." Her voice was different. Sadder, maybe. "I need you to watch Mary."

"Mary?" Jimbo made a loud whistling sound. "Okay, baby. Might even make some money off her." He chuckled hard. "Those blue eyes and that mop of blonde curls." He laughed again. "Honey-colord skin smoother than caramel ice cream."

"Stop, Jimbo!" Her mother sounded mad.

"Pretty thing like her could probably make more money than you."

"That's not funny!" Her mother was louder now. "You leave my Mary alone, hear me?"

Mary squirmed in the doorway. Maybe her mother would take Mary with her. Or maybe take her to Grandma Peggy's house.

They were still talking downstairs.

"Let up, Mommy." Jimbo wasn't laughing anymore. "Your baby angel's safe with me."

The talking ended, and Mary scrambled back to bed. She slid under the blanket and forced her eyes closed.
Please, God . . . no'. Don't let her leave me with Jimbo, please!
She reached onto the table near the bed and took hold of her red-beaded purse. Grandma Peggy told her that God had good plans for her. So her mama would have to think of something better than leaving her with Jimbo, right?

She lay there a long time waiting for her mother to come to bed, but finally she fell asleep.

The next day, after they spent another afternoon taking money from strangers, her mother bought her a piece of pepperoni pizza.

Her mama looked her in the eyes and took a long breath. "Mama has to go away tonight, okay? I have some night work, only this time—" her voice cracked, like maybe she was going to cry—"this time I won't come home for three days."

Since her mother hadn't mentioned the work all day long, Mary had hoped maybe it wasn't going to happen. She set her pizza down. "Three days?" She blinked twice, and her chin quivered a little. "Who's gonna watch me?"

Her mama reached across the table and patted her hand. "Jimbo and Lou."

"Jimbo scares me." Mary could hear the whine in her voice. "He always scares me."

"He's teasing you, baby. Jimbo'll take good care of you."

"But, Mommy—" she stuck her lower lip out—"if you need someone to watch me for three days, how 'bout Grandma Peggy? She'll watch me anytime. That's what she said."

Her mother looked tired and maybe a little angry. "We'll go see Grandma when I get paid. After this job we can move back there, and you can go to school. All right?" She made her voice stern. "No whinin', Mary. Mama doesn't have any choice." She pushed back from the table. "Bring your pizza. We have to get going."

Mary shook the whole way home. What if Jimbo was mean to her? What if he tried to scare her or hurt her?
Be brave,
she told herself.
Be brave and when Mama's done working we can go back to Grandma Peggy's.
She could go to school and learn how to read, and one day she would be able to read the books in her pink bedroom all by herself.

They walked a long way, and when they got home her mother sat her on a chair in front of the television. "Stay here while I get ready." She didn't sound scared anymore, but nervous. Like she was in a hurry.

Mary was too scared to say anything.

When her mama was gone, Mary noticed Lou across the room, stretched out on the broken sofa, snoring. A baseball game was playing on the screen, and Mary stared at it. If only there was a way to crawl through the box and wind up in the sunny seats on the other side.

A little while later her mother came back wearing the same short black skirt she'd worn the night before. Her face was made up with extra black around her eyes. She looked at Lou.  An empty bottle of wine lay on the floor beside the sofa. "Lou . . ." Her mother shook the woman, but nothing happened. Lou slept most of the time. When she was awake she was always talking about smoking joints. Mama tried again. "Lou, wake up. You're watching Mary tonight, remember?"

A low growl came from Lou's throat, and she mumbled something that barely made sense. She opened her eyes halfway. "Leave me alone."

"Lou, get up!" Her mother shook her one more time. "I have a job."

Lou pushed herself up and rubbed her face. When she was more aware of what was happening, she dropped the corners of her mouth. "You're leavin' your kid with me for three days, is that it?"

"Jimbo said it was okay." Her mother tapped her toe. Only then did she notice Mary, huddled in the chair on the other side of the room. Her mama gave her a weak smile and the okay sign.

Tears welled in Mary's eyes, but she held up her fingers and gave her the okay sign back.

"Ah, baby." Her mother came to her and bent down so their eyes were at the same level. "It's just three days, okay? I'll do the work, get the money, and come home." She smoothed Mary's bangs. "I'll be back before you know it."

Mary tried to talk, but her throat was too thick. She could feel her chin shaking, and her tears ran down her cheeks. She started to nod, but then she jumped to her feet and threw her arms around her mama's neck. "Don't go . . . please." Sobs rose in her chest, and she held tight. Maybe if she never let go . . .

"Baby, shhh." Her mama rocked her back and forth. She smelled like strong perfume, and her hair was stiffer than usual. But her voice felt good all the same. "It's just three days."

While her mama held her, she spoke to Lou. "Mary's had dinner. Just make sure she stays inside and give her three meals a day. I bought a box of Cheerios." She motioned to the kitchen. "It's in the cupboard, and there's milk in the—"

The door flung open, and Jimbo burst inside. "I'm late." He threw his hands in the air. "My fault, I know it. Don't gripe at me, Lou." He looked at Mary and her mama. "What do we have here? A sad little good-bye?"

Her mama pulled back and flashed angry eyes at Jimbo. "I was just saying I bought Cheerios." She reached back and took Mary's hand. "Make sure you feed her."

Jimbo took a few steps closer. He looked at Mary in a way that made her feel like running. "You and me are about to have some fun, kid."

Mary hid behind her mother, burying her face in her mama's back.

"Don't worry." Jimbo laughed a little softer this time. "I'll take real good care of you."

"Stop!" Her mama pulled away, crossed the room to Jimbo, and shoved his shoulder. "That's no way to talk to a little girl. You're scaring her."

"Listen." Jimbo held his hand up high as if he might hit her mama. His laughter stopped. "Don't tell me what to do."

Lou stretched back out on the couch and closed her eyes. "I'm going back to sleep." She raised her arm a bit. "I'll make breakfast in the morning."

"Don't worry about it." Jimbo slapped her feet and chuckled again. "I'm the babysitter. For the next three days Mary's mine."

Something was wrong with Jimbo. Mary noticed it about the same time her mother did. He was too happy—strangely happy.

Her mama put her hands on her hips. "What're you on, Jimbo? Don't tell me you're babysitting my girl when you're on drugs."

"I'll take whatever I want!" His shout shook the small apartment. He leaned against the wall, and his face relaxed. "Go, Jayne. Your job'll be here in a few minutes. Everything'll be fine."

Mary gave the slightest shake of her head, but she didn't cry out. She didn't dare. A ribbon of fear worked its way around her heart. It was really going to happen,- she was going to stay with Jimbo.

Her mama backed away from him and returned to Mary. She opened her arms, and Mary ran to her. For the sweetest few seconds she allowed herself to feel safe, lost in her mother's arms. Then she felt her mama pull back, and their eyes connected. "I'm sorry, baby. This is the best I can do."

Mary wanted to ask one more time about Grandma Peggy, but there wasn't time. Her mama would be gone in a few minutes. Instead she sniffed twice and nodded.

"Be a good girl, okay?"

Another few sniffs. "I will."

Her mother ran her thumb along Mary's brow. "I'm doing this for you, Mary." Her eyes looked watery. "I love you, baby."

"Love you too."

Her mother pulled away and picked up a grocery bag full of what looked like clothes.

On her way out, Jimbo shouted, "Work hard, Jayne. We'll be waiting for you."

The last thing her mama did before she walked out the door was look at Mary. In her eyes Mary could hear everything her mother had just told her all over again:
"I'm sorry,
Mary. It's just three days. . . just three days."

Then, in a rush, she was gone.

***

"That was the last time I ever saw her." Mary blinked, and she felt the memory lift like patchy fog. "Jimbo and Lou did a lot of secret talking that night, and in the morning they packed up the apartment and we left."

Across from her, Emma was still rapt, her expression anxious. "For the remote cabin? the one in Virginia? I think I read something about that in the newspaper."

"Yes. My mama made a lot of bad choices." She lifted her chin. "But she loved me." Mary wanted Emma to understand this part. "She just didn't know how to go home again."

The words seemed to hit Emma hard. She sat back, unblinking. Her eyes filled and she shook her head. "Me neither."

Mary felt her expression soften. This was what she wanted, what she was praying for. That Emma would see herself in the story, and that along the way she would come to know the truth. If Jesus could rescue her, He could rescue Emma. No matter how terrible her life was today. She reached out and patted Emma's hand. "I had a feeling."