Divine by Choice (5 page)

“…so the settling of Laragon went smoothly, and we have Thalia and the rest of the Muse Incarnates to thank for that. Many of the students who were near graduation volunteered to stay at Laragon, helping to get the new warriors and their families established.” He smiled. “I believe several of the young disciples of the Muse will not be returning to their Goddess's temple.”

Laragon Castle was situated near the great Temple of the Muse, which was really a Partholonian version of an all-female university. Exceptional young women from all over Partholon were chosen to be educated there by the nine Incarnate Goddesses of the Muse. Women who had been educated at the Muse's temple were the most highly revered women in Partholon. No wonder the warriors had little trouble settling into Laragon.

ClanFintan's face became troubled as he continued. “But the women who were to settle Guardian Castle, at first, were noticeably uneasy about living there, which is why I decided to delay the departure of our troops for several weeks. It is only natural, after the atrocities committed at Guardian Castle, for the new inhabitants to feel unusually vulnerable.”

His words sent a shiver down my spine, and I remembered all too well the atrocities to which he referred. Shortly after my arrival in Partholon, a race of vampire-like humanoids called Fomorians began an attempt to subjugate and destroy the people of this world. Perhaps the most horrible aspect of their invasion was that the male Fomorians were capturing, raping and impregnating human females. The human females, in turn, gave birth to mutated creatures that were more demonic than human. I shuddered as a “birthing” scene I had witnessed, through the power of Epona sending me on a spirit
journey, replayed in my head. Suffice it to say that the human mother didn't survive the birth. Fomorians considered human women as disposable living incubators for their spawn.

Though the Fomorians had destroyed Laragon Castle and its inhabitants, the attack had been quick, and the end came suddenly. Worse had happened at Guardian Castle. It was there that the Fomorians had infiltrated Partholon months before we were aware of their invasion. It was at Guardian Castle that they made their headquarters, and there that so many women endured the horrors of repeated rape until impregnation. It was also there that the women were housed until Fomorian young clawed from their swollen bodies.

“I am grateful you stayed until the new women of Guardian Castle felt secure.” And, for the zillionth time I sent up silent thanks to Epona that the Fomorians had been defeated, and ironically enough, for the smallpox epidemic that helped weaken them and led to their annihilation.

“I knew you would have expected no less.” His eyes were warm pools.

“You're my hero,” I sighed romantically.

“As is only fitting,” he verbally sparred with me, relaxing as I acted more like myself.

Too bad it was an act. I forced myself to swallow another spoonful of the bitter-tasting rice.

ClanFintan continued with his report. “Tracking the surviving Fomorians was more difficult than seeing Guardian Castle settled.” His voice became grim. “During our search, we found many human women. As their captors died, or fled, they left clusters of pregnant women in their wake.” He shook his head grimly. “Some had been infected with the pox, and were so weakened they died quickly. To those who survived and were still within the first months of their pregnancies, Carolan administered his potion. The potion worked
every time, causing the women to miscarry, but almost half of those women perished during the ordeal.” His jaw clenched. “There was little Carolan could do for the women we did not find until they were well along in their pregnancies. He could only dull their pain and ease their passing.” ClanFintan's gaze shifted to find the Healer, and he lowered his voice. “It was hard for him to bear, Rhea, this inability to save so many.”

My gaze followed his, and I noticed new lines around Carolan's expressive eyes, and the way he constantly touched Alanna, almost with desperation, like she might fade away from him if he didn't stay physically connected to her.

“I'll make sure Alanna has plenty of
free
time.” I winked suggestively.

“That will help him.” His warm eyes locked with mine. “I, too, was hoping my wife would make some
free
time—” he mimicked my wink “—for me.”

“Well, it just so happens that I know your wife.” I tried for a sexy purr, but a wave of nausea threw my timing off. “And, uh, she assured me—Oh, shit!”

Leaning over the side of my chaise (fortunately, the opposite side from which ClanFintan faced me), I heaved and like an explosive volcano spewed a mixture of white rice and herbal tea all over the marble floor, and (unfortunately) a young servant who didn't leap out of the way quickly enough.

I knew the hall had gone very still, but I was busy sucking air and wiping my mouth. I couldn't seem to tear my eyes from my puke. Lots and lots of little white kernels all splattered across the floor (and the maiden). They looked…they looked disturbingly like something familiar…like, oh, no! Maggots!

And I projectile vomited all over Victoria and Carolan as they rushed to my side.

“Oh! I'm s-so sorry!” I stuttered and shook, trying to blink thick tears from my eyes. For some ridiculous reason I thought I should stand up, and immediately the hall began to gray around the edges; it was almost impossible to breathe. I had no control over my body as my knees gave way.

“I have you, Rhea!” Victoria's voice penetrated the fog and I realized she had somehow beat ClanFintan to my side, because she was laying me gently back onto my chaise.

My eyes fluttered open, but I still couldn't catch my breath.

I was dying. Puking myself to death in front of everyone. God, what a tragically unattractive way to die…

Then ClanFintan was beside me, reaching down to lift me into his arms, and I was doubly terrified by the pallor of his usually bronze face.

“No, wait, I have to tell Vic…” My voice sounded eerie and somehow detached from my body. I reached blindly out, and the centaur huntress grasped my hand with her own puke-spattered one.

“Just love him,” I whispered, noting how her eyes widened. “Who cares what people say—who cares about the age thing.” I clung to her hand when she tried to pull away. If I was dying she was damn sure going to listen. The terminally ill have certain inalienable rights. Or, perhaps, death just scares most people shitless, so they listen to the soon-to-be-dearly-departed. Whichever was the case, I was going to get said what needed to be said.
Then
I could continue puking myself to death in peace. “You need him. Stop running and accept the amazing gift you have been given.”

She had grown very quiet, and her expression didn't change. The only external reaction she showed was that her usually proud, erect shoulders suddenly drooped, like she couldn't keep them lifted a moment longer.

I squeezed her hand before freeing it and then let my sticky head fall onto ClanFintan's chest. “I feel so sick.” I murmured.

“Healer, follow me,” his stone voice ordered as he strode from the silent hall.

“S
he has been like this for more than two seven-days.” Alanna sounded like she was tattling, and I threw her an ugly look, which didn't stop her. “Except, never before has she been sick in public.”

“I'm feeling better already. I just needed to lie down.” Of course, I hadn't needed to puke in front of my people (and on my friends), have my husband rush to my side, pick me up and practically run (well, gallop) to my bedchamber with Carolan and Alanna following closely behind. I groaned. “I've ruined the celebration.” Before she could say anything, I interrupted. “Alanna, you have to go back to the hall and reassure everyone that I just have some kind of…of…” I looked at Carolan for help, but he didn't offer any medical terminology. “…Of stomach distemper-thing, and now that Carolan and my husband have returned, I'll be fine.”

Alanna opened her mouth to argue, but I played my trump card.

“I need you to do this for me. The people will be so worried.”

“Of course.” Her tight smile said she knew my tactics. “But I will return as soon as the people have been reassured.” She kissed me quickly on my damp forehead, then patted ClanFin
tan's arm in a motherly gesture before kissing Carolan on the lips and whispering, “Please, my darling, find out what is amiss with her.”

“I heard that!” I yelled weakly at her departing back. She ignored me.

My attention shifted back to the two males who were watching me like I was an egg ready to hatch.

“Why did you not send word of your illness?” ClanFintan sounded more hurt than angry.

I started to protest that I was really okay, but his expression told me I was definitely done playing that game.

“I didn't want you to worry. And I guess I thought if I didn't admit something was wrong, nothing would be wrong.”

His grunt said he thought I was a moron.

“I will need to examine you, Rhea.” Carolan's voice was soothing.

“Ok-k-kay…” My voice shook.

“ClanFintan, I will call for you when I have completed my examination.” Now Carolan was the general giving orders as if he expected to be obeyed.

“I prefer to stay with Rhea.” My husband sounded stubborn.

Before I could chime in, Carolan spoke with the quiet surety of experience. “It would be better for her if she had some privacy. Trust me, my friend.” His hand grasped the centaur's muscular shoulder and their eyes locked.

ClanFintan broke their gaze first. Abruptly, he leaned down and kissed me on my damp forehead. “I will be just outside. Call if you have need of me.” His exit was quick.

I tried to smile bravely at Carolan. “Thanks. I love him, but this whole thing is very awkward for me, and, well, you were right about my need for privacy.”

He returned my smile as he sat next to me, making the huge down-filled mattress fluff up.

“This is an interesting sleeping arrangement you have here.” His gesture took in the enormous mattress that rested directly on the floor of my spacious bedchamber.

“Being married to someone who is part horse demands some creative solutions to things you wouldn't otherwise think about. I mean, really, how the heck does a horse comfortably fit into a traditional bed? And
I,
the Beloved of Epona, certainly need more than a pile of sawdust or a bale of straw.” I patted the mattress. “This works for us.”

“Alanna says you have a unique name for it.”

“A marshmallow.” I grinned. “It's named after a sweet, sticky mound of white fluff from my old world that can be eaten as a dessert.” Carolan, Alanna and ClanFintan knew my true identity. Sometimes it was a relief to be able to relax and make references to my prior life without worrying about betraying myself. Relaxation, I suddenly realized, must have been Carolan's reason for getting me to chatter. Being on the receiving end of his much renowned bedside manner was a new and not totally unpleasant experience.

“So, now that I'm not hyperventilating anymore, what's next?”

“Nothing too horrible,” he reassured me. “Just some questions first, then I will examine you.” The confidence in his voice soothed my puke-frazzled nerves. “Tell me how long you have been feeling ill.”

I started to reply with a quip, but he held up his hand, cutting off my words.

“You must be honest, Rhea. If you are not totally truthful, I will have a difficult time being of any aid to you.”

I sighed. “Almost three weeks, or, as Alanna would say, three seven-days. It's just been so obvious for the past two weeks that I couldn't hide it from her.” I shared a pretended long-suffering look with him. “You know how nosy she is.”

He rolled his eyes as he began feeling the glands in my neck. “You need not tell me how tenacious she can be when it comes to the welfare of those she loves.” He began taking my pulse. “How long have you been purging yourself?”

“Purging?” I was confused. Bulimia had never interested me. I've always been strictly an “eat everything in sight and work out like a fiend” girl when it came to weight management.

“Relieving yourself of what you've eaten. Vomiting,” he clarified.

“Well, I certainly haven't been doing it on purpose.”

“Of course you have not!” He paused in his examination, giving me a shocked look.

For an instant a sarcastic remark rose to my lips, then I reminded myself that he wasn't pretending to be shocked at what my twenty-first century peers would consider a norm. I know it sounds hard to believe, but sometimes I forget I'm no longer in a world where beauty is defined by anorexic, strung-out models with boob jobs.

“Right, well, I've been actually vomiting for a little over a week, but I've been feeling like I could puke any second for almost three weeks.” Before he could get confused I added in a teacherly, informative voice, “To puke is to vomit.”

“To puke,” he pondered as he opened a huge leather bag that seemed to always be with him. “That is an interesting term.”

We smiled at each other.

“Have you had any other symptoms besides your stomach upset?” He asked.

“Well,” I said hesitantly, “I've been feeling kind of weird and depressed and jumpy.” I figured that about covered everything from my emotions being all out of whack to the possible hallucinations last night.

He patted my arm reassuringly as he pulled out of the bag a long, funnel-like object that seemed to be made of construction paper. “Please sit up and breathe deeply,” he said, and I complied as he used the funnel as a sort of crude stethoscope.

He appeared okay with what he heard, because he put the funnel-scope away and continued with the examination, gently probing, prodding and looking all over (and within) my body as he questioned me. He asked me everything from what kinds of flowers my maidens had been cutting for the daily arrangements that filled my bedchamber with fragrance, to how often I'd been pooping.

Finally, he finished. Patting my nervously folded hands, he began, “I am very certain you—”

“Have a brain tumor!” My stomach rolled in revolt and I felt my palms dampening.

Carolan chucked. “You have no tumor, Rhea, but you certainly have something within your body now that was not there just a few months ago.” His eyes sparkled, and I wanted to choke him until they bulged out of his face.

“A friggin aneurysm. I knew it. Somehow I was exposed to something radioactive when Rhiannon the Bitch traded places with me.” I fell back on the pile of pillows, trying unsuccessfully to stop my eyes from filling with tears.

“By the Goddess, Rhea, will you not listen!” Carolan's voice was frustrated but definitely tinged with humor. “You are not dying. You are not ill. You are, quite simply and blessedly, pregnant.”

“I'm…I'm…I'm…”

“I estimate you will give birth mid-spring.”

“A baby?” I realized I sounded like a dolt, but my mind had literally become mush.

“That would certainly be my experienced diagnosis.” He
smiled as he collected odds and ends and fed them back into the mouth of his doctor's bag. “A girl,” he added.

“A girl? How do you know?” My hands unclasped themselves and crept down to cup my deceptively normal-looking abdomen.

“The firstborn of Epona's Chosen is always a girl child. It is a gift from your Goddess to you and your people.”

I felt stunned. Sure, I had missed a period, but I hadn't given it much thought. I'd chalked it up to stress. A new world in a different dimension where mythology lives. Becoming Goddess Incarnate. Battling demonic hordes. Stuff like that was bound to throw off anyone's system a little, to say the least. I noticed that Carolan suddenly seemed in a big rush to leave.

“What's your hurry?” I sounded on the verge of a crying jag, which, at least, now made sense. Hormones.

“Alanna will want to announce the wonderful news to the people. The celebration will continue all night!” I blanched and he laughed. “No, you will not be required to attend, but there will be many toasts to your health and the health of your child.” He turned to face me one last time before he opened the door. “Congratulation, Rhea. Let me be the first of many to wish your daughter health and happiness!”

I could hear him telling ClanFintan he could come in now as he rushed past my still worried-looking husband. The centaur approached me, folding his legs and settling fluidly to the floor by my side. His expression was grim as he studied what I realized must be my glazed, Barbie-exposed-to-math-word-problems expression.

“What is it, love? What has happened to you?”

“You!” A semi-hysterical giggle escaped from my lips.

His brow furrowed in concern. “I? I have injured you?”

I reached up and touched his cheek. “You haven't injured me, you've impregnated me.”

He blinked twice, his expression blank. Then realization folded over his face.

“A child!” His deep voice resonated with joy. “We are to have a child?”

“Yes…” I knew I sounded reticent, but I had gone from tumor to baby in just a few heartbeats.

ClanFintan took my hands in his, kissing both my palms before leaning down and kissing me softly on my lips.

“Ugh.” I pulled away. “I taste like puke.”

“I do not care.”

“Well, I do.”

He pulled back and studied my face. “Rhea, are you not pleased?”

“I'm scared.” I blurted out before I took time to think.

His face softened and he pulled me into the warmth of his strong embrace. “Do not be afraid. Epona will always care for her own.”

I rested my cheek against the butter-soft leather of his vest and murmured my fear. “I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but, well, what am I going to have?”

He remained silent, and I bit my lip. I loved ClanFintan, and I didn't want to cause him pain, but the facts were that he was part horse and he was the father of my child. I couldn't help but be concerned about the meshing of our two gene pools—especially when I would be the one giving birth—in a world without C-sections or epidurals.

“She will have your form, Rhea.”

“And what will she have of yours?” I whispered into his chest.

He paused for just a moment, then quietly said, “My heart. She will have my heart.”

My arms tightened around him while my eyes filled. “Then she will have everything.”

His warm lips briefly pressed against the top of my head.
Then he shifted his hold on me so that he had me scooped up in his arms. Rising to his feet in one fluid motion he started toward the door.

“Oh, please don't make me go back there with all that food and all those people.” I futilely tried to wipe at speckles that clung to my soggy dress.

“No, I am taking you to your bathing chamber. Tonight I will care for you, and our daughter.” He beamed down at me as he shouldered our way through the door and turned down my private hall in the direction of my bathing room.

The temple guards leaped out of his way, saluting me and calling, “Blessings on you and your child, Lady Rhiannon!” as they opened the door to the steamy chamber for us.

For a world that didn't have TV or the Internet, it never failed to surprise me how fast news could travel.

I grinned mischievously at them over ClanFintan's shoulder and winked. “Thanks, guys!” I didn't “know” my guards (yes, I do mean in the biblical sense) as the original Lady Rhiannon had, but I did appreciate them.

“Do not encourage them.” ClanFintan chided good-naturedly.

“Soon I'll be too fat and pregnant to get a second look from them.”

“Humph,” he commented eloquently as he deposited me near the edge of the deep pool.

One of the many benefits of being Goddess Incarnate was that a veritable plethora of overenthusiastic maidens considered it an honor, as well as a duty, to keep me in the lap of ancient luxury. Which meant I had all the best wine, food, clothes, jewels, horses, warriors…on and on, but no television, telephones, computers or cars. In return I had to care for the spiritual health of Epona's people: conduct ceremonies (albeit bare-breasted, which took some getting used to, espe
cially as the weather had begun turning cold), serve as figurehead, you know, do whatever it was my Goddess asked of me to the best of my ex-high school English teacher abilities.