Divided: Brides of the Kindred 10 (39 page)

“Well
maybe you should come to the Mother Ship,” Becca said. “You’d be welcome there,
I’m sure. There are all kinds of Kindred there and no one is nearly as
judgmental as your people seem to be. I mean, sorry…” She cleared her throat.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just…”

“Just
what my ama said to you and the way everyone looked at you when the three of
you came to my lodge. Of course, I understand.” He nodded.

“Well…”
Becca sighed. “That scene with your mother…I have to admit that’s not exactly
how I hoped my first meeting with my in-laws would go.”

Garron
nodded again, somewhat reluctantly this time, Becca thought.

“Ama
is…very rigid in her way of thinking. I think she regretted marrying a Kindred
instead of taking her chances as a sacrificial virgin to find the right Rai’ku
male. She wanted more for me—for all her children—than she had.”

“From
what Truth told me, it sounds like she had a lot to regret,” Becca said in a
low voice.

“Oh,
he told you that, did he?” Garron sounded surprised. “Yes, our father was…not
the most kind or patient male, especially where Truth was concerned.”

“Did
he hurt all of you?” Becca asked in a low voice.

“Not
as much as he would have liked to. Truth was the oldest and he tried to prevent
it.” Garron shook his head. “He stepped between me and my apa more than once
and took the blow meant for me when we were younger. I am forever in his debt
for that.” He sighed and stood up, stretching until his long spine crackled.
“It’s growing late. Can I show you to the guest room or would you like to stay
up a little later?”

Suddenly
Becca realized how tired she was. Between the mind games Vashtar had played on
them, meeting Truth’s family—who mostly hated her—and hearing Garron’s sad
story, it had been a long…
long
day. She yawned. “I guess I’d better get
settled in for the night. Far and Truth probably won’t be back for a little
while. I wanted to stay up and wait for them but…” She yawned again.

“It’s
all right.” Garron gave her a faint smile. “I probably tired you out with my
yammering.”

“No,
of course you didn’t.” Becca got to her feet and stretched, just as he had. “I
was happy to listen. I’m just sorry I couldn’t help you at all.”

“But
you did help,” he said earnestly. “After talking to you I feel…well, I don’t
feel as bad as I did.” He frowned. “That’s strange. I wonder why that is?”

“Because
talking helps.” Becca smiled and patted him on the arm. “Could you go ahead and
show me the guest room now? I’m suddenly so sleepy I can barely keep my eyes
open.”

“Of
course.” Garron led the way to a small, bare wooden room just off his main
living area. There was no furniture that Becca could see but a large pile of
thick, waxy green leaves had been heaped on the floor and covered in several
blankets. “Apologies for the sleeping arrangements,” Garron said, pointing to
the pallet of leaves and blankets. “I have no hammocks big enough for three.
This was the best I could do on short notice.”

“No,
it’s fine.” Becca knelt and rubbed one of the leaves between her fingers. She
remembered seeing something like them lining the hammock bed young Truth had
slept in when Vashtar had showed them his worst memory. “These are the leaves
of the tree we’re in right now?” she asked.

“The
same.” He gestured at the blankets. “The bed coverings were a gift from my ama
when I first moved to my own lodge. They are actually meant as a gesture of
hospitality for only the very young or the very old but since Truth said you
were unused to our weather…”

“Yes,
thank you. They’re lovely.” Becca remembered the ragged bit of cloth the young
Truth had been wrapped in and shivered. It would have been awful to climb into
that nest of cold, waxy leaves without any blankets at all to keep warm with.

Thinking
of that, made her remember Garron’s words about how Truth had taken blows meant
for him. She felt her heart swell when she thought of Truth protecting his younger
siblings. No wonder the dark twin had had so much bitterness and pain in his
heart! No wonder it had taken him so long to come around to the idea of
accepting love from Far and herself!

But
he’s accepted it now,
whispered a little voice in her head.
The
question is, what are you going to do about it? Can you accept it too?

Again
something Garron had said came back to her.
“When you have the chance to be
with someone you love you must take it quickly, before it can be snatched
away.”

Should
she take the chance that she had been offered with Truth and Far? That was the
question that nagged at her after she told Garron good night and snuggled down
between the two thick blankets.

Despite
her weariness, it took her a long time to fall asleep and when she finally did,
her dreams were strange and troubling. She seemed to see a long, strange beast
made of scales and feathers. It whipped through the air as sinuous as a snake
and had sharp talons and a spiked tail. It’s huge, leonine head had a gaping
maw of knife-like teeth and a twisting red tongue. But most disturbing of all
were its eyes. When it turned to look at her they were a vivid turquoise blue.

Sky
eyes,
Becca thought and woke up with a little cry of confusion and
fear.

“Shh,
it’s all right, Rebecca,” someone murmured.

“Did
you have a bad dream,
mi’now?”
another deep voice asked.

“Far?
Truth?” She looked at them sleepily and yawned. “So glad…you’re back. Yes,
really weird dreams.”

“Forget
them and go back to sleep. You’re safe now.”

The
two of them slid into bed beside her—Far on her left and Truth on her right.
Becca snuggled between them and, finally feeling safe, allowed herself to drift
back into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter Thirty-six

“We
dug all day. It’s nowhere to be found.” Truth ran a hand through his hair in
obvious frustration. It had been a long, frustrating day of digging in vain out
in the frigid cold—made possible only by the soil warming equipment Garron had
loaned them, since the top layer of soil around the elder tree they were digging
under was frozen solid. But no matter how long or how deep they delved, no
ancient cache from the long dead Orthanxian civilization had appeared.

“Are
you positive the coordinates you have are correct?” Garron ladled out a
steaming bowl of what looked like navy blue chili and handed it to his older
brother along with a hunk of coarse grained purple-gray bread. Truth had
finally agreed to quit when it got dark and now they were all sitting around
the low table in front of the fire eating dinner—or evening fare as the Rai’ku
called it.

“As
certain as we can be,” Far said. He dug the curved end of some kind of
bone—which was apparently the Rai’ku version of a spoon—into his own bowl of
chili and took a big bite. “Mmm, delicious.”

“Vashtar
did
say the box might have shifted locations,” Becca pointed out,
accepting her own bowl of blue chili from their host. “It
has
been two
thousand years, give or take, since it was buried.”

“I
keep feeling that we are close—
very
close,” Truth said. “But we’re
missing it somehow.”

“I
felt the same thing, Brother,” Far said. “That the cache is somehow eluding
us.”

“I
felt that too,” Becca said. “And it’s so
frustrating.
I can’t help
feeling like we’re doing something wrong. It’s like when we were in the
Mindscape—or thought we were, anyway—and we were trying to project something to
eat and we got cardboard chum pizza and wormy cupcakes.” She sighed.

“Those
don’t sound like very appetizing dishes,” Garron remarked dryly, handing her a
piece of bread.

“Not
nearly as good as
your
cooking.” Becca smiled at him and took a big bite
of her purple-gray bread. It reminded her of a cross between cornbread and
blueberry cobbler and was by far the best thing she’d had to eat so far on Pax.

“This
is some of the best
mebbix
stew I’ve ever had,” Truth said, taking
another bite. “My compliments, Garron.”

Their
host nodded. “I’m glad you like it. But to get back to your problem, I’m afraid
you’re going to have to find whatever it is you’re looking for soon. There has
been some…unrest about your digging. The few Kindred who live here are not
concerned but some of the Rai’ku are saying that you’re molesting the elder
trees.”

“What?
Absolutely not,” Truth declared. “We’ve been
very
careful to not so much
as scratch the bark of the elder tree we’re digging under.”

“It’s
not really the digging they’re upset about, Truth,” Garron said in a low voice.
“I’m sure you know that.”

“Yes,
I know.” The dark twin sighed and put down his bowl. “It’s the perversion going
on right before them. How is Ama taking it?”

Garron
coughed. “She’s turned her back on you publicly as well as privately now. I’m
sorry, Truth, but you can’t very well be surprised about it.”

“I’m
not,” Truth said stoically. “I expected nothing less.” He shook his head.
“We’ll just have to try again tomorrow. It must be there somewhere! I know the
tree we’re digging under is the one Vashtar meant for us to look at—the
coordinates he gave were very exact.”

“I
hope you find it,” Garron said. “I’ll host you for as long as you stay. The
laws of hospitality and privacy should protect you as long as you’re under my
roof—I
hope
anyway. But I can’t promise what might happen after you
leave my lodge.”

“We’ll
just have to be careful,” Far said grimly. “And fast. We’ll find it tomorrow—we
have to.”

“I
hope so,” Becca said anxiously. “I just want to be away from here. No offense,
Garron.”

“None
taken,” their host said. “I have often felt the same way myself.”

“Why
not come with us to the Mother Ship?” Truth asked. “I’m certain you’d be
welcome. Well—after we cleanse the ship of unwanted demons and secure the
Unmated Males area, anyway.”

Garron
shook his head. “Like it or not, my life is here. But thank you for your
generous offer.”

“You
might rethink it at some time in the future,” Far said. “There are many Earth
females with minds ready to align with those who have Kindred blood.”

“I
thank you but…” Garron cleared his throat. “I’m sure Truth told you something
of my past. I don’t…don’t wish to align with anyone.”

“I
understand,” the light twin said quietly. “Just know that the offer is still
open if you ever change your mind.”

“Thank
you.” Garron nodded. “Would anyone else like more
mebbix
stew?”

“I
would love some but I can’t eat another bite.” Becca smiled at him. “Thank you
anyway—it was delicious.”

Truth
sighed. “It’s time we were getting to bed anyway. If there really is unrest
about the digging, best we get up as early as possible to start again.”

“A
good thought, Brother,” Far said. “If we can find the cache and retrieve the
pendant before most people are up, we’ll be on our way back to our shuttle
before anyone can get too outraged.”

“Yes,
that’s…a really good idea.” Becca tried to manufacture a yawn but inside her
stomach was filled with butterflies. Neither Truth nor Far had spoken to her
about the status of their bond but she was sure that the light twin would have
told his brother what he’d heard during her conversation with Kat by now. Would
they confront her about it tonight? Would they demand an answer about what she
wanted to do about their bond? And what would she say?

She
hung around and helped Garron do the dishes, trying to buy a little time before
bed but the simple wooden bowls and bone spoons didn’t take long to wash.
Before she knew it, she was back in the guest room with Far and Truth who were
already wearing dark blue sleep trousers, apparently ready to sleep.

“Hello,
Becca,” Far said softly when she entered the small guest room. “Ready for bed?”

“I
guess so.” Becca lingered uncertainly in the doorway.

“Come
in,” Truth said a little gruffly. “We do not bite, as you know.”

“I
know. I just…” Becca coughed. “We’ve been too busy to talk today but I guess I
was wondering…wondering…”

“Wondering
what?” Far asked.

“Wondering
how we’re going to find the cache,” Becca finished weakly, losing her nerve.

“Actually,
Far and I have some thoughts on that,” Truth said.

“But
we’re not sure how you’ll feel about them,” Far finished for his brother.

“Okay.”
Becca looked from one to the other of them. “So tell me.”

“Remember
you mentioned our problems when trying to create food in the Mindscape?” Truth
said.

“It
wasn’t really the Mindscape, though,” Becca protested.

“No,
but Vashtar did tell us that his approximation was completely accurate to the
real thing,” Far said.

“Remember
that we had trouble casting any kind of successful projection because our
OneMind was scattered,” Truth went on.

“I
guess so.” Becca came forward and sat on the edge of the leaf pallet. “So?”

“So
when was our OneMind the most focused?” Truth looked at her intently. “After we
made love.”

Becca
felt a sudden rush of heat travel from the top of her head all the way down to
the tips of her toes. Truth was sitting on one side of her and Far was sitting
on the other but she found she couldn’t meet either of their eyes.

“Again,
that
wasn’t
really the Mindscape,” she said in a slightly strangled
voice.

“No,
but it still brought us together—it still focused us as one into what Vashtar
called the OneMind,” Truth said. “If we can find that focus again—that oneness—I’m
certain we can do anything. Including locating the cache.”

Becca
finally forced herself to look up at him.

“So
you thought if we all…all made love again…”

“It
doesn’t have to be like the last time if you’re uncomfortable, Becca,” Far said
quickly. “We thought maybe if we just touched each other and concentrated on
the location of the cache…pictured it in our minds while we made skin-to-skin
contact…”

“I…um…”
Becca didn’t know how to answer. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to touch her
men—it was that she
did
want to
.
So badly it frightened her.

All
day she had been finding small, subtle ways to be near one or the other of them
or to put herself between them without actually getting too close. She told
herself she was trying to head off the painful side effects of the partial
bond. After all, who wanted to feel like a rusty spike was being driven into
their eye?

But
the truth was she simply craved them—wanted to be near them, touching and being
touched by them. Wanted to be between her men, which was the most dangerous
place of all if she didn’t intend to complete the bond.

“Does
the idea make you uncomfortable?” Truth asked, breaking into her confused
thoughts.

“I…a
little,” Becca admitted in a low voice.

“Why?”
the dark twin asked. “Because you’re thinking of breaking our bond?”

Becca’s
head jerked up. “I never…I don’t…” But she couldn’t go on—she didn’t know what
to say.

“I
need to know how you feel, Rebecca,” Truth said sternly. “We both do. You
brought Far and I together and now that our Twin bond is complete we could
probably survive a break with you…”

“But
we don’t want to,” Far finished for him softly. “We don’t want any other female
in the whole universe,
mi’now.
You are the one Truth and I love. You’re the
one we want to share and care for and cherish all the rest of our days.”

“I
know that.” Becca bit her lip. “And I feel the same way. But…”

“But
what?” Far asked gently. “You’re afraid of what your family will say?”

Becca
looked down, ashamed. “That’s part of it, even though I feel awful admitting it
after the way Truth stood up to his family.”

“It
was a very difficult thing to do,” the dark twin said. “I would not presume to
make that decision for anyone else.”

“It’s
not just that,” Becca said desperately. “It’s what happened to Kenneth. I know
it’s not rational but part of me is so scared that if we do this—if I let
myself bond with you completely—that I’ll lose you. I can’t…” Her eyes stung
and the words seemed to stick in her throat. “I can’t lose you like that. I…I
love you both too much. It would
kill
me.”

“Oh,
mi’now,”
Far murmured, stroking her hair. “That’s not going to happen.”

“We’re
going to stay right here with you,” Truth promised, putting a large, warm hand on
the small of her back. “We swear it.”

“I
want
to believe that—I truly do,” Becca whispered. “But I just…it’s
hard. Really hard.”

“Of
course it is,” Truth said firmly. “Which is why we are not going to ask you to
complete our bond tonight.”

“Y-you’re
not?” Becca looked up at both of them with wet eyes. “Really? But I thought…”

“This
is a big decision,” Far said. “Too big to make until you feel completely
ready.”

“Tonight
we simply want to hold you between us and try to locate the cache,” Truth
murmured.

“We
can talk about the future once we’re back on the Mother Ship,” Far said,
smiling. “What do you say, Becca? Will you let us hold you?”

“You
slept between us last night with no ill effects,” Truth pointed out.

Yes,
but that was because I was already asleep by the time you two got into bed,
Becca
thought but didn’t say. Should she give in and lay down between them, allowing
herself to be bracketed by the two big, male bodies once more? She wanted to
more than anything but it still felt dangerous…as though once started down this
road, she wouldn’t be able to turn from it no matter what the consequences
might be.

“I
want to,” she said hesitantly. “But…I’m afraid. Afraid we’ll go too far.”

“You
don’t have to be naked for us to locate the cache,” Truth pointed out. “Far and
I are both wearing clothing as you can see.” He indicated the thin, silky sleep
trousers he and the light twin both wore. There was still plenty of bare skin
on display since they were both shirtless but at least the “dangerous” parts
were covered.

“I
guess
you’re right,” Becca said reluctantly. She tried to think of what
she could wear that would offer some coverage and yet still give enough
skin-to-skin contact with her men for them to find their OneMind and locate the
cache. Picking up the small purple cube Kat had packed for her, she went
through the miniaturized clothes that looked like they would fit on a Barbie
doll.
No…no…no…Kat, did you pack me anything that wasn’t see-through or made
of lace?