Ditching The Dream (Dream Series) (31 page)

P
hoebe and I had a nice breakfast. And, Phoebe, in true Phoebe-form, dominated the conversation with non-stop chatter about her classes and why she was considering changing from physics to communications, her friends, her boyfriends – her many, many boyfriends. Before this adventure of mine, I’d have grimaced. But knowing what I know now, I smiled. She was doing what I should have done.

I was relieved that Phoebe wasn’t pushing any discussion about me and her dad. But she kept busy, pumping me for information about Kevin. I was careful to give only info that a neighbor would know: a seventh grade Spanish teacher, he wasn’t a native New Yorker but from Texas, that he was into exercise. She found it hilarious that he had called me ‘Lizzie.’

My mind raced with all the other information that I had. His family life. His past girlfriend. That he was a phenomenal dancer. That he was magnificent in bed.

This was all surreal. Not like I expected Kevin to hook up with Phoebe. Surely she was too young for him. That said, he had to be closer to Phoebe’s age, than he was to mine. That was one topic that I’d avoided, and now I found myself dying to know.

After breakfast, we did some shopping on
THE Avenues
. Phoebe was especially excited about her red, cowgirl boot purchase. Even though Phoebe was a country girl at heart, and had more than a few pair of boots, she hadn’t packed any, figuring they wouldn’t be acceptable in New York. I picked up a nice strapless, cornflower blue sundress and a fun pair of silver sandals. And we both bought several Pashminas at a corner vendor. Best purchase ever. Four great scarves for only twenty dollars.

We stopped for a leisurely late lunch, which would be Phoebe’s dinner due to the concert. I was enjoying some good ole-fashioned people watching with her when the bubble popped and the pleasantries ended.

“So, what about Dad? You
are
going back, aren’t you?”

Shit!
I sighed and contemplated how to answer. Just the other morning I’d decided upon divorce, but I hadn’t really thought all of it through. Could I? Should I? I mean, I was having fun with Jack and Kevin nearly tripping over themselves to be with me. It’d done loads for my ego. But there was something to be said about a man who stayed by your side for more than twenty years. Greg was always a
good
husband, even if he wasn’t there much. He wasn’t abusive or anything.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” I replied.

“What happened?”

“Honey…” I let the sentence trail off. How do you tell your nineteen-year-old daughter that your husband wasn’t giving you everything you needed in a relationship, including effort in the bedroom?

“Don’t, Mom. Don’t shuffle it away. I’m not a little girl anymore. I can take it. If you’re leaving Dad, you’re leaving. I have lots of friends who have divorced parents. It’s not the end of the world.”

I smiled at her stoic disposition.

“I haven’t yet decided, but I can sum it up best this way. Don’t get married too early. Live on your own. Be responsible for
you
before you move in with anyone who wants to take care of you. Stand on your own two feet. That’s something I never did. I got married straight out of college. If you don’t learn to stand on your own two feet, you’ll become whoever the other person wants you to be, not who you are.”

She regarded me with deep eyes, and for the first time, I felt she really listened to me. “I hear you, Mom. And I think I know what you’re saying. Believe me, I’m not planning on getting married for many years. I want to be at least twenty-five.”

“Maybe twenty-eight,” I suggested, smiling and picking up the dessert menu. “So, want to share a sinful chocolate something?”

We arrived at the apartment with little less than an hour for the two of us to get ready, me for work, Phoebe for the concert. As Phoebe was putting on the final touches to her make-up, there was a knock at the door. That had to be Kevin collecting Phoebe.

No, there was nothing unpleasant or odd about my lover taking my daughter, who was old enough to be his girlfriend, out on the town for the night. I was so screwed. If I weren’t going to work, I’d consider staying home and getting totally blitzed.

“Lizzie. Good to see you as always,” he said, peering over my shoulder.

“She’s in the bathroom,” I whispered, stepping aside and waving him in before Mrs. Hanlon could see him standing at my door, although it was probably too late.

“So, how did I not know you had a daughter? Especially one who was an adult?”

“Kevin, please,” I whispered, peeking over my shoulder at the door to the bathroom, Phoebe innocently tucked inside, listening to her iPhone croon Luke Bryan tunes.

“I’ll keep your secret. That is if you want me to,” he said.

I shot my eyes to his dark green pools. “Kevin, you cannot let on about us. Please.”

He saw the panic in my eyes and nodded, pulling me into his warm embrace. He smelled so good. It was soothing. “It’s okay. We’re just neighbors,” he said, kissing the soft spot behind my ear. My knees went wobbly again and my stomach flipped. “And she’ll be safe with me tonight. I’ll be the perfect gentleman.”

I knew he would be or I wouldn’t have suggested that Phoebe go with him. I took a deep breath and nodded, then pushed away.

“Phoebs,” I called out. “Kevin’s here.”

“I’ll be right out!” she hollered back.

I stood there biting my lip, in a pained silence.

“Elizabeth. It’s fine,” he assured me again. He held my shoulders and leveled me with his eyes. “We need to talk though. There’s a lot we haven’t covered, and probably should.” I could only nod.

He released me as Phoebe stepped out of the bathroom, looking every bit the fun loving girl I knew, except…

“You look fantastic, however, button that button there,” I said, narrowing my eyes at her chest.

“Yes, Mother,” she groaned, rolling her eyes and dropping her head back for added effect.

“Your mom’s right. You never know what kind of perverts you’ll meet in the city, not to mention a concert,” he added with a smile that made my panties melt. God, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to handle the night.

I
showed up for my shift to find Jack already seated at the bar in “his” seat. After stashing my purse in the back room and clocking in, I made my way to Jack.

“Phoebe all settled in?” he asked.

“Yes. Thank you so much for your help with getting her picked up. I don’t know where my head is lately. So many
distractions
,” I said, glaring at him playfully.

“So, you didn’t bring her? What is she up to tonight?” he asked, looking around.

“She’s actually gone off to a Luke Bryan concert with Kevin,” I replied.

“I’m sure the kids will have fun. Luke is quite a performer from what I hear.” His use of the word
kids
did not escape me. Jack recognized that Kevin was so much younger. I did, too. Did Jack consider me a kid as compared to his age? “Maybe us
adults
can hang out after your shift,” he continued with a wicked gleam in his eye. Okay, maybe he didn’t think of me as a kid.

“We’ll have to see,” I said with a wink. “What can I get for you?” Before he could sling another invitation at me, I added, “From the bar.”

The night went smoothly, Tom and I working together as well as Shelby and I did. The Saturday energy was electric, but I couldn’t seem to keep my mind off Phoebe and Kevin. Were they having fun? What were they talking about?

No surprise, Jack was my last customer to close out. As I handed the check folder to him, he took hold of my hand.

“Can I take you and Phoebe out to dinner tomorrow night?” he asked. “I’d love to meet her.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” I replied, ducking my head.

“You let her meet Kevin,” he retorted.

“True, but…”

“But nothing. Look, nothing bizarre, I swear. Just friends. From back home. Besides, if she’s serious about this changing her major and looking into NYU, I’ve got connections. What
we
have is between us — she won’t have a clue. I promise. Just friends. She already knows something about me, as it
was
my driver who picked her up at the airport.”

I started to shake my head, but he stopped me by placing a finger under my chin. “Please.” His eyes were so hopeful. Almost like he was…… falling in love?

I should stop this crazy train right now. End all of it. But the truth was that as he’d gotten me to confess the other night, I needed Jack. In a twisted way, I needed him. “Okay,” I agreed. “But please, nothing about us,” I implored.

Jack shook his head and with his free hand, turned an imaginary key and locked his lips, then threw the key over his shoulder.

Arriving at my apartment just after one in the morning, I was concerned when Phoebe wasn’t there yet. I started to imagine all sorts of horrific and crazy things, like they were being held at gun point by some hopped-up druggie. I imagined they were backstage partying with band members. I imagined them in Kevin’s apartment –
Don’t go there!
I admonished myself.

I texted her a quick message:

1:36AM

Thought you’d beat me

home. Hope you had fun

@ the concert. What time

do u expect 2 b back?

Then I poured myself a glass of Macallan. Grabbing my kindle and glass, I curled up in my chair, but I couldn’t focus on a single word. An agonizing fifteen minutes passed before my phone buzzed with a message.

1:41AM

Sorry, Mom. After the

awesome show, Kevin

brought me 2 Times

Square. This place is

incredible! We’re heading

home now.

I smiled remembering how Kevin played tour guide with me, taking me to Times Square. Then I remembered what we did
after
Times Square and I started to hyperventilate. Surely Kevin wasn’t that kind of guy.

Another text came through bringing me out of my panic.

1:42AM

Oh and OMG (shhh)

Kevin is HOT. Too

bad he’s just got his

heart broke and is

taking a break from

dating :(

How do I translate this last message? On the one hand, yay! It seemed there was no budding romance between my (*gulp*) lover and my daughter. I downed the last of the scotch with relief and to bolster myself as I considered the first part of that message.

My mind shifted into overdrive. He’d just gotten his heart broken? Did I dare flatter myself and think he was talking about me? Or was he talking about Erin? Or was it Erica? I hoped he was talking about the girl before me.

I did my best to put it out of my mind with a shower while I waited for Phoebe to get home. If they were at Times Square, it’d be at least twenty minutes.

Just after I’d climbed into my pajamas and finished brushing my teeth, I heard the door. Peering out of my bedroom, I saw Phoebe come in on her own.

“Hey sweetie. How was the concert?” I asked, walking into the living room, giving her a hug.

“Hey, I wasn’t sure you were going to still be awake. The concert was fantastic! And Times Square? So much more fun than I thought it would be! There are a lot of crazy people in this town. I want to move here! Did you know Kevin got his Masters from NYU. He’s so cool. I wish he was dating. I’d so…” Phoebe looked at me and smirked. She plopped down on the sofa and pulled her boots off.

What? Why are you looking at
me
that way?
I was frozen with fear at what she knew, or might have known. Had Kevin let something slip?

“Well, you know. I’m sure you’ve had a fantasy or two about him. I mean how could you not? Look at him!
Smell
him.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Yes, he’s quite the package,” I agreed.

“And a little younger. I think he’s too old for me,” she shrugged and laid back. “Man, I’m exhausted, but I have to take a shower. I haven’t danced so much at a concert ever! Kevin was incredible. He two-stepped us in our tiny little space. He’s an awesome dancer. And he’s got such a great bod under that T-shirt! And his ass –”