Distractions (19 page)

from the parking lot down the narrow

gravel path, and I could see the railroad

bridge not too far in the distance. The

sun was shining brightly and there was a

sumptuous breeze sweeping away the

sweat on my tanned neck.

Flip-flops were never a good idea

for adventures like this, but Connor

assured me that I would be fine. His

fingers entwined in mine as we pushed

the branched overgrowth out of the way.

Boisterous voices and laughter became

louder as we approached the river. The

Rio Grande found a place to meander

and take a break from carving deep paths

in the Colorado Mountains. The drop

into the rapids below was about twenty

feet, perhaps a little more. Without

hesitation, several people removed their

shoes and tore off to the spot on the

bridge above a calmer area.

“How do you know you won’t hit

anything?”

There

was

obvious

trepidation in my voice.

A gentle hand started rubbing the

small of my back. “Come on, it’s okay.”

That boyish smile was all the

convincing necessary for me to leap to

my death in the name of a summer

afternoon. For someone who nearly died

falling down a mountain less than a year

before, he was incredibly brave to be

jumping off bridges into freezing rivers.

Connor was fearless, which was one of

his more endearing qualities.

This day was one I had been

waiting months for. I finally convinced

my dad to let me come back and visit,

just for a little bit. I was dying to see

Connor. I could care less about

everything else. There had been months

of letters and promises seventeen-year-

olds who separated under dramatic

circumstances make in lonely moments.

For one day, we could forget all the hell

we had gone through and just be kids. I

held a metal rail as I walked across the

steel ties on the bridge. The water

rushed below me threateningly.

“I am not going jump off this

fucking bridge, no way,” I thought to

myself…

Sensing my fear, warm fingers once

again found mine.

“Violet, come here,” he said softly

while guiding me near to the edge.

“Don’t be afraid, you can do this.”

His green eyes were full of light as

he briefly looked into mine, then he

turned around with a smile and did a

back flip somersault into the air before

crashing below. A moment passed

before he surfaced about ten feet from

where he landed. He must have gone

deep with that momentum.

“Get your ass down here. Don’t

make me come up there and push you.”

I stuck my tongue out while giving

him

the

finger.

His

smile

was

contagious, but I knew he would make

good on his threat. If I did not jump, he

would pick me up and throw me off. I

refused to close my eyes. I grabbed my

nose to pinch it shut and jumped with a

scream. Feeling like forever was

passing, in hindsight, I should have

waited to hold my breath. The icy water

pulled any air from my lungs upon

impact. Waiting to hit bottom, it never

came. My legs fought the current to the

surface, swimming towards the light and

breaking free just moments later.

“Wow!” My heart pounded in my

chest, as I breathed heavily; I wanted to

go again.

We spent the next few hours

climbing and jumping. My blue lips and

chattering teeth warned him he needed to

get me warm soon. Opening the door to

his truck, he cranked the heat and lit a

Marlboro Red.

“Did you have fun?” he laughed,

knowing the answer.

“No, it was awful – why would you

bring me here?” I returned the laugh.

It was wonderful. I had not been so

happy in who knows how long. He

reached to the bottom of his soaking wet

t-shirt, pulling it up across his shoulders

and over his shaved head. I stared

wistfully at the bridge. Part of me knew I

would never have this chance again. The

sun was starting to set, casting brilliant

shades of orange and magenta across the

sky. The air was growing chilly, but I

didn’t care.

“One more time, okay?” Before he

had a chance to respond, my hand

reached for the door handle to jump out

of the truck and run down the trail back

to the bridge.

Because it was darker, I walked

more cautiously across the steel trusses.

I could still see well enough to navigate

safely across to the other side. He stood

on the bank wearing a dry sweatshirt, a

cigarette hanging out of his mouth as his

hands pressed against his hips waiting.

“Shit, we ain’t got all night – we

gotta get going.” I could hear the teasing

in his voice.

Ignoring him, my fingers grasped

the metal beams on the side as my toes

curled around the edge. I closed my eyes

to hear the sound of the rushing currents,

smelling the crisp air fill my lungs.

Electricity started to buzz through my

body in anticipation of the five second

fall. My peace was broken by the blare

of a horn that was quickly approaching.

The wheels of the train sliding on the

track caused the bridge to vibrate. Only

mere feet separated me from what was

coming. My brain started to scream as

my body was bathed in the light from the

engine.

“Let go!” I could hear him

screaming over the deafening roar.

I was frozen in place for moment,

blinded by the beam shining on me. One

more loud blast from the locomotive

shook me from my spot. I quickly

grabbed both knees, bracing to hit the

cold water, and then felt like my skin

was being ripped as I slipped beneath

the surface. Rising back up, panic

overcame me while I looked for the

shoreline in the darkness. My legs were

tired from treading water for so long.

Fear gave me strength to keep swimming

against the current towards the sound of

his voice yelling for me.

“Violet, Violet!”

The train still passing overhead

was making it hard to hear from where

he was shouting. I kept pushing sideways

to where I could see brush growing

along the banks. Grabbing onto some

low-lying branches, I pulled myself up

out of the water. Exhausted, I laid on my

back trying to recover my breath.

Quickly hearing footsteps approach in

the gravel, I turned my head to see him

running towards me.

“You are fucking crazy, you know

that?” There was no longer the teasing

tone in his voice; it was replaced with

one of fury and concern.

“You brought me out here. Don’t

yell at me!” I coughed hard, spitting out

water I had swallowed.

I pushed up on one elbow, turning

around on my stomach to stand up. He

reached his hands around my waist to

help me.

“Get off me, you pervert,” I said,

trying to ease the tension in the air.

Ignoring my humor, he placed his

arms around me for stability as I walked.

I made it two steps before realizing I

was not wearing shoes and the rocks

were tearing into the soles of my feet.

“Owie…”

He stopped, then squatted slightly

and growled, “Get on.”

Grabbing his shoulders, I gently

swung my legs around his waist to

where he could hold them. My face was

placed opportunely close to his ear,

making it irresistible. I leaned in to take

a small nibble out of the lobe. My tongue

danced along the outer curves, darting in

and out of the canal. I was not trying to

be sexy, which he noticed quickly as he

tried to carry me and swat my face away

from him at the same time. When the

truck came into view and we were on

pavement, I felt his hands quickly drop

my legs.

“You can walk, pervert.” The

corners of his mouth carved huge

dimples in his cheeks.

All I could do was shake my head; I

was freezing and needed to warm up

quickly. He held the door of the cab

open for me to crawl in. As one foot

stepped up, a swift hand smacked hard

across my bottom. The sting of the wet

fabric intensified the pain.

Turning around quickly, I received

two words and a chuckle, “Giddy up.”

He opened the door on the driver’s

side and I noticed he had taken off the

gray sweatshirt. Bundling it in his hands,

he threw it at me while sliding into the

seat. Without hesitation, I pulled it over

my head, smelling the distinct scent of

motor oil and nicotine. He must keep this

shirt in his truck, but for some reason it

was comforting.

He roared off into the direction of

his parents’ house, which was not far

away. They were kind enough to let me

stay with them again, knowing how much

I cared about their son. I was always in

awe of how beautiful the house was. It

was a massive Spanish Mission style

home with terracotta tiles on the roof

and an open courtyard with a mosaic

fountain in the center. Wooden beams

crossed the ceiling with a stone

fireplace covering an entire wall. A

cowhide rug lay in front with cozy

leather sofas circling around it. It was

decorated in a southwest theme so

common to this area, but tastefully so.

His golden retriever, Penny, danced

happily in the kitchen as he assessed the

fridge for something to eat. She was

aware that with him there, she would get

people food. He ripped a piece of

cheese from the stick and made her sit

for it. With a gentle bite, she took the

piece from his fingers before scampering

off.

“I need to shower,” I said while

heading off to the spare bedroom where

my things were.

I pulled some dry underwear and a

bra out of my duffel bag along with some

warmer clothes. Inside the sumptuous

bathroom, I eyed the stone walled

shower lustfully. It had several jets that

poured from the ceiling and a steam

function I planned on soaking the room

in. I felt spoiled coming here; it had been

so long. It was very different from the

humble apartment my dad and I lived in

just outside of Cincinnati. I did not need

these luxuries, but they certainly were

nice.

The water felt divine against my

blue

tinged

skin.

Probably

near

hypothermia status while I was lying on

the bank of the river, I knew I was an

idiot for going out again. Replaying the

last jump in my head, I was thankful for

the warmth covering my body now. The

jets of water danced gently on my back

and head as I closed my eyes beneath

them. I didn’t hear the door open; I just

felt the cloud of steam leave the shower,

which caused me to open my eyes.

“Can I join you?” he asked shyly.

“Well, you are already in here, so I

guess it’s fine.” I rolled my eyes

sarcastically, feigning disgust.

He grabbed the bar of soap that

was next to me and started to lather up

while staring me up and down.

“Nothing you ain’t seen before.” I

tried to shield my breasts, feeling

suddenly self-conscious.

He licked his lips and smirked. “I

don’t mind seeing it right now.”

Narrowing my eyes at him, I

ignored his stare and asked, “So, is this

what being married is like?” while

squeezing some shampoo into my hand.

“What, taking showers together? I

hope so.”

I huffed out again in exaggeration at

his response. “No, silly, couples

bantering with each other all the time.” I

looked at him for a serious response,

which I didn’t get. With a pause, he

looked at the wall for a moment.

“I don’t know, we will find out