Dissonance (46 page)

“Because you abandoned them!” he snarled, and caught himself. The momentary rage, replaced by sympathy and remorse. It was an act, and I wondered if his dementia was an act too.

Even fools are dangerous if they want something.

“I was going to stay. Save the Key World. Save Simon. We were going to run, but he stopped me.” My fingers twitched. “It's a shame he's not here now.”

“Delancey,” Monty said nervously. “Think.”

“I am. I'm thinking about when Simon asked me if it would hurt when he unraveled. I didn't know. Would you like to find out?”

I heard the shimmering sound of the pivot, the Key World ringing out on the other side, beckoning me back to a place where Simon wasn't. Where he was never going to be.

A hand came down on my shoulder. “Del, stop.”

“Addie?” I twisted to face her, but I wouldn't let go of the threads.

Monty called out, “Addison, she's not well. She overdid it, and the frequency poisoning's back. We need to get her home.”

“I agree,” she said.

“No. You don't know what he did,” I pleaded.

“He tried to use Simon to find Grandma.” At my startled look, she shrugged. “I told you Eliot put everything together. He's worried about you. Come on.”

A three-man team came through the pivot, but I tightened
my grip. “No,” I said. “He's not leaving. It's a tiny world. No one will care if I cleave it.”

“You'll care,” she said.

“Simon's gone.” Something inside me shattered, glass ground to dust.

“I know.” Gently she pried my fingers off the strings. Her nails, usually perfectly manicured, were bitten to the quick. “He did it to save you. Don't waste it, Del.”

She pulled me back through the pivot, where Eliot and my parents waited. My mom clutched my dad's arm, and they raced over as soon as we were clear. Lattimer followed behind, solemn but pleased.

All I could see was what wasn't there.

I stood unmoving as my parents fussed over us, my mom smoothing my hair, my dad gathering me up in a bear hug. When he released me, Lattimer cleared his throat, and my parents stepped aside.

“You did well, Delancey,” Lattimer said. His hand dropped on my shoulder and I steeled myself not to flinch. “I knew you'd realize where your future should be.”

Behind me the pivot wavered as the team brought Monty back through. Lattimer's face transformed, the proud smile turning predatory.

“Del! We can get them back! It's not too late!” Monty shouted.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the team drag Monty toward a black van, engine rumbling. He shouted again, “He's more important than you know!”

He was everything. What could be more important than everything?

“There's another way! People who can help us! Nothing's done, Delancey! Nothing's—”

The sound of the van's door slamming cut off his cries, and then there was only silence.

I
T TURNS OUT,
the end of a world isn't the end of the world. It only feels like it. Life pushes on, a vast unfurling that should be uplifting. Reassuring. An affirmation of the things we hold dearest.

I didn't feel affirmed. I felt insignificant. Life pushed on, dragging me in its wake like a piece of driftwood. The music of the multiverse turned as distant and tuneless and monotonous as my days.

I walked, but not between worlds. Not anymore. I walked Iggy, long rambling trips that left us both shivering and exhausted. Easier to fall asleep that way, easier to ignore the dreams of paper stars in a gray sky and a bright-eyed boy beckoning me closer.

A week later I appeared before the Consort for the second time in as many months. My parents stood on either side of me, Addie near the door. Monty's absence was palpable.

Councilwoman Crane folded her hands and spoke in the grave, formal cadence of the Consort. “Your suspension was to last until the end of the term, Delancey. We had hoped that the time would allow you to develop not only the techniques, but also the restraint required of licensed Walkers.” She peered
over the top of her glasses, her smile dry as bones. “You can imagine our surprise when we learned of your involvement with the anomaly.”

I stared at the ballet flats I'd borrowed from Addie. The fluorescent lights made tiny, star-shaped reflections in the patent-leather toes.

Councilwoman Bolton spoke next, tapping the papers in front of her with one finger. “We have determined the anomaly was a collusion between Montrose Armstrong and the Free Walkers, created to destabilize the Key World. Now that the source has been cleaved, thanks to your actions, the multiverse is no longer in danger.”

I slanted a look at Addie, who kept her eyes fixed on Councilwoman Crane. She and Eliot had coordinated our stories before the Consort debriefed us, making sure to leave Amelia and Simon out of it. It had meant throwing Monty under the bus, but neither Addie nor Eliot seemed too guilt-ridden about it. I figured he'd gotten off easy.

I'd expected Lattimer to speak next, but he sat back, watchful and silent, as Crane took over again. “While your behavior was unconventional, it demonstrated your commitment to our highest principles: obedience, diligence, sacrifice. Your decision to keep Montrose Armstrong contained prevented him from taking refuge with other Walkers who are themselves fugitives.”

Other Walkers.
There are people who can help us
. Another one of Monty's lies, and I dug my fingernails into my palms.

“Therefore, we are reinstating you, effective immediately.
You shall resume your formal training, with credit given for your recent service.”

My mother exhaled, her relief audible. My father squeezed my elbow gently, but I didn't respond. As quickly as they'd taken my future away, they handed it back.

I wasn't sure I wanted it anymore, wasn't sure where it led.

“Furthermore,” intoned Lattimer, “we would like to make a request.”

That
got my attention.

“Your sister accelerated your training at my urging. It was clear that you had considerable talent, however undisciplined you might have been, and I'm pleased you rose to the challenge.”

He'd been testing me. Grooming me every bit as much as he'd groomed Addie, and I'd been too blind to see it. What else was I missing?

“As you've discovered, the Free Walkers do indeed pose a threat to our way of life. Our efforts to repair the Key World are ongoing. Considering the abilities you've demonstrated, and your knowledge of the situation, you're . . . uniquely qualified to deal with the aftermath. Naturally, we would take this into account while determining your apprenticeship. Would you be willing to assist us, should we need you?”

A bribe. Help the Consort, and I would have my pick of assignments. I'd have more freedom than ever before.

What would I do with freedom? Walk to worlds where Simon wasn't? I didn't want his Echoes. I definitely didn't want to watch his Echoes fade in front of me, like the man from the shoe store.

What I wanted was the truth. About the Consort and the Free Walkers, about my grandmother and the Echoes. Lattimer didn't need my help; he had some other reason for recruiting me, and I wanted to know that, too. He'd never tell me outright, but he didn't need to. Watch someone's lies closely enough, and they'll give away the truth.

“Happy to help,” I told him.

I almost meant it.

•  •  •

Later that night, Addie knocked on my doorframe. “Mom says you're going to school tomorrow.”

“I'd like to see her make me,” I replied, and pulled the covers over my head.

She yanked them back again. “Stop moping.”

“There are a zillion worlds out there, Addie. Please go visit one of them. Or all of them.”

“I'm worried about you. Even Mrs. Lane is doing better than you are.”

“Mrs. Lane gets as many drugs as she wants,” I pointed out. “And she's not doing better; she's a wreck. I see her every day.” Simon had made me promise to take care of her, but we were taking care of each other.

“He wouldn't want this for you, Del. He saved your life. The least you could do is get back to living.”

“Go to hell, Addie. Do not try to tell me what Simon would want. You barely knew him, and you didn't like him. You sure as hell don't speak for him.”

“Fine.” She hesitated at the door. “Monty's sentencing was today. He pled insanity.”

My body clenched, waiting for her to continue. The Consort couldn't let him go free. Not after what he'd done.

“They sent him to an oubliette. They said he was too dangerous to be allowed out.”

My muscles went lax. “I hope he rots there.”

“He freaked out. He was screaming for you. Started singing that song he made for you.” She nibbled a nail. “I'm sorry.”

I shrugged. “It's not music, Addie, just noise. And I never have to hear it again.”

It was time to write my own song.

M
Y MOTHER WAS
right. I did go to school the next day, worn down by nagging that began at sunrise and ended when Eliot escorted me off the porch.

“She's going to text me every period to make sure you don't cut,” he warned.

The sky was a faded blue, the sun a pale circle. I shoved my sunglasses farther up my nose and kept walking. “You can lie.”

“I could. But I won't. You need to keep busy. You should come back to training, too. Shaw's been asking about you.”

“Not ready,” I said.

He was silent for the rest of the trip, but there was a kindness to it. I was alone, but he wouldn't let me be lonely.

All day I found myself looking for Simon.
Not here, not here, not here,
I whispered to myself. I couldn't help searching. Couldn't help hearing people who were wondering why Simon Lane had transferred out of state so suddenly, without even a word to his coach, despite the big tournament coming up.

Music was the worst. I stared at Simon's empty chair, ignoring Bree's glares and Ms. Powell's lecture.

When the bell rang, Ms. Powell approached me. “Del? Can I speak with you privately?”

“I'll wait outside,” Eliot said.

She gave him a thumbs-up and perched on the edge of my desk. “I'd like you to present your composition tomorrow, if you're ready. The rest of the class completed their assignments while you were sick.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Simon and I had nearly finished the sixteen measures. I could knock out the rest that night, after I'd walked Iggy. It would give me something to do. I bent down to pick up my new backpack, much lighter than the one I'd left with Simon. I had no intention of Walking, so I didn't bring my tools.

“The funniest thing happened yesterday,” Ms. Powell said, almost as an afterthought. “I could swear I saw Simon.”

“He moved,” I said when my heart started up again. “You probably saw someone who looked like him.”

“Maybe,” she said. “This guy did seem a little different. He needed a haircut. And had a metal bracelet around his wrist. It looked like a big shiny nail.”

A glint of silver in the glow of a streetlight
. “A railroad spike.”

“I'd never thought of it that way, but . . . sure. Not the sort of thing you wear on the basketball court, is it?”

“Where did you say this was?” I choked out.

“I didn't.” She smiled broadly, waved at one of the other students straggling out. “It was right outside this great doughnut shop downtown. Corner of Main and Evergreen? Do you know it?”

“I think so,” I said. There was no doughnut shop at Main and Evergreen. Not in the Key World.

“I like to visit there sometimes. Their Bavarian cream is out of this world.” She met my eyes. “He sounded great, Del. You know what I mean?”

Ms. Powell had seen Simon's Echo. Yesterday. “You're a Free Walker.”

“I'm a friend. Here. I've been meaning to return these to you.”

She held out her hand. Cupped in her palm was a mound of paper stars. My stars, the ones I'd dropped over the last few weeks, from the world I'd fled to after the first cleaving to the one I'd left in the library. I looked closer, but the dark green star I'd made in Doughnut World wasn't among them.

“It's an impressive body of work, Del. You've been through a lot. But it's time to concentrate on where you want to go, instead of where you've been.”

Eliot stuck his head in. “We're going to be late for class,” he called, as the bell rang and the three of us winced in unison.

“We'll talk soon,” Ms. Powell said.

Not soon enough.

•  •  •

“If you're hoping I'll call you in sick for the rest of the day, guess again,” Addie said when she answered her cell.

“Why would Simon's Echoes still be around?”

“You're supposed to be in class. Let's talk tonight.”

“Just answer the question. Why haven't they unraveled?”

“They might be complex enough that they'll stick around for a while. It's not instantaneous, you know. Some terminal Echoes take years.”

“But they wouldn't have a frequency, right? If his Echo was terminal, it would sound weird?”

“Yes. Did you go looking for one?” Her voice took on a sympathetic note. “I'm not sure that's a good idea.”

“I didn't. Let's say he wasn't terminal. Why else would his Echo be around?”

If Ms. Powell was a Free Walker, she would have known I couldn't get back to Simon. Why would she tell me about his Echoes? And why had she waited so long to reveal herself to me?

Addie sighed. “Echoes won't fade while the Original exists, but the Consort checked. The world Simon cleaved is no longer broadcasting a frequency. It's completely unraveled.”