Discovered (8 page)

“If it’s alright
with you, I’d rather just hang out like this for a while,” he said.

She seemed more
than content to sit with his arm wrapped around her for the rest of the night. 

He loved the feel
of her so close to him, leaning up against his shoulder.

The TV provided a
necessary distraction from the angel who sat on his right shoulder and the
devil on his left, both screaming accusations at one another, threatening to
drive him demented.

He and Layla spent
the remainder of the night casually commenting to one another about the comedy
they were watching. And once again, he marveled at the ease of their
relationship, at how she seemed to be the one person who understood his blunt,
sarcastic humor.

He just about
floated to his car when it was time for her to leave, amazed at how comfortable
they were in each other’s company.

He gave her one
more quick kiss on the lips before she jumped out of his car and headed up her
driveway.

Jay watched her walk away.
‘The gods of fate
must be laughing their butts off at me right now,’
he thought bitterly.

He rode home feeling a combination of euphoria
and utter regret.

As he unlocked his
front door, he had an overbearing suspicion that someone was already in the
house. He let out a sigh and walked into his living room to see Ben sitting in
the exact spot that Layla had occupied when he’d kissed her, and ironically,
Ben was sipping on a glass of cola then placed in the same spot Layla had put
hers. Jay wanted to pound on him for mucking up the lovely mental vision.

Ben was glaring at
the TV, aware that Jay stood before him but didn’t bother to look up.

“Why are you here
already?” Jay questioned, tasting Ben’s sour mood in the air.

“What are you
doing?” Ben asked, looking straight ahead at the TV, his handsome face tight
with disapproval.

“What are you
talking about?” Jay questioned, knowing full well the answer.

“Save it, Jay,” Ben
replied. “You told me you ended it with her.”

“I told you I was
going to end it. I just failed to mention that I hadn’t yet,” Jay responded.

“When are you going
to do it because that cuddling session, I witnessed through the window, didn’t
look like you were anywhere near approaching the subject?”

“You were spying on
me?” Jay asked, his voice thick with disgust.

“I came back early
to keep you company, assuming you could use your best friend, only to realize
that my company wouldn’t be needed. I wasn’t spying intentionally, but I caught
a glimpse of her red hair through the window, so I peeked in to see what was
going on.”

Jay walked into the
kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge. He opened it and drank down half
before grabbing a glass and returning to the living room. He flopped into the recliner
and poured the remainder of his can into the glass.

“End this, Jay,”
Ben said firmly, finally making eye contact. “You’re going to have to do it
eventually. End this before she gets too attached. You’ll only end up hurting
her, and yourself, probably.”

“Do you care if I
hurt her?” Jay asked, staring at the bubbles in his glass.

“No,” Ben answered
sarcastically. “I’m a cold-hearted, sadistic brute that takes pleasure in the
idea of a young, innocent girl having her heart broken.”

Jay rolled his
eyes, not bothering to look up.

Ben let out a loud
sigh. “Truth be told, I actually really like the girl,” he said. “And I get it.
She’s very attractive and there’s something different about her. I don’t hold
it against her in the slightest that her dad and James royally screwed us, but…”
he trailed off.

Jay shrugged his
shoulders, wanting nothing more than to be alone at that moment. He knew Ben
was one hundred percent right. He really needed to stop this silly infatuation
before someone got hurt, but wasn’t interested in a lecture at the moment.

Ben chuckled once.
“Actually,” he said quietly, “she reminds me of Lucia.”

Jay’s head shot up.
“She doesn’t look a thing like her,” he stated.

“Not in her
features,” Ben replied. “Something in her mannerism…a certain look. I can’t
really explain it.”

Jay stared at his
friend, trying to see the similarities in his mind that Ben apparently did. He
pulled up an image of Lucia’s beautiful face, then Layla’s. He shook his head,
confused by the comparison.

“Issy said the same
thing,” Ben added.

“She did?” Jay
questioned.

Ben nodded.
“There’s something special about her…different.” He stared over Jay’s head,
deep in thought.  “I remember the way Lucia would look at me when I spoke to
her, as if she was seeing into my soul, and that she liked what she saw. Do you
remember that?”

Jay nodded and
sucked in a breath.  “I think about her all the time…even now.” He felt a quick
stab of pain pierce his heart.

Ben looked at him,
his lips pressed together in a sad smile. “My point is, you really don’t want
to hurt a girl like that, do you?”

Jay shook his head
and smiled bitterly.

“Okay, my man, I’m
heading up to bed,” Ben said, standing up and stretching. He gripped Jay’s
shoulder on the way past. “The sooner the better, yeah?” he added before
walking out of the living room.

Jay sat at the
kitchen table the following morning, squeezing his chin, staring out the open
sliding doors into the unseasonably warm garden, watching a few brown leaves
flutter to the ground.

Blowing off school
to avoid Layla was a cowardly act, he knew, but he just couldn’t face the deed
yet.

He heard Ben walk
into the kitchen but couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to wish him a good morning.

“Ah, man, don’t
tell me you chickened out,” Ben said, sliding into the seat facing him.

“I’ll do it
tomorrow,” Jay answered without looking over.

“Wasting time won’t
make it any easier,” Ben replied.

Jay had to fight
the urge to reach across the table and punch Ben square in his handsome,
self-righteous face. “I’ll do it tomorrow,” he said again, this time through
gritted teeth.

“It’ll be alright,”
Ben said calmly.

 Jay shot Ben a
disparaging look. “How would you know?” he demanded. “How would you have any
idea what it will be like? You’ve never known. You’ve always had Issy. Have you
even once considered what it’s been like for Joey and me to have to watch you
and Issy so happy together all the time?”

“Chill, dude,” Ben
said, raising his hands in a surrender fashion.

“Ben, just get out
of my face for a moment,” Jay said, then he decided that maybe he should leave
the room first, knowing that pushing this any further would end up in an
argument he didn’t really want to have. He pushed away from the table and stood
up. “I’ll see you later,” he murmured, leaving the room.

“Jay, wait,” Ben
called after him, but Jay had no interest in discussing the matter further. He
had said enough, possibly too much. He jumped into his car and headed for the
little lake that was two miles from his house. Spending time with nature always
had a soothing effect on him.

He sat by the lake
for ages, thinking of Lucia, throwing tiny pebbles into the water.

When his phone
beeped, he picked it up and looked at the front. Oh, God, it was Layla. He sat
paralyzed momentarily, wondering if he should answer it or not, but in the end,
decided that there was no point. By tomorrow, he’d be out of her life for good.

Layla

The following
morning, Layla breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted Jay in English class.
She was surprised at how disappointed she’d felt the day before when he never
turned up for school. She spent the entire day worrying that he was sick and
alone until she remembered that Ben had decided to stay a little longer, not
bothering to head back up north with his girlfriend and her brother.

She was forced to
take a vacant seat up front with Julie, but turned around to smile over at him.
He nodded to her stiffly, looked down at his notebook and continued to write.
Layla was a little deflated, hoping that she would get more of a response from
him, but then quickly realized that Schultz was scanning the class, eager to
pick on someone he deemed was goofing off.

She did her best to
concentrate on class but found her mind wandering to the school dance, thinking
about dresses and accessories for the night. She didn’t normally enjoy such
frivolous thoughts, but she wanted to look as good as she could, considering that
it would be her first official date with Jay.

She tried to keep
her enthusiasm at bay the previous day, knowing that Julie had decided not to
go to the dance. Julie had assured Layla that she didn’t want to, but Layla had
a feeling it was because no one had asked her.

When class ended, Layla
picked up her bag and walked over to Jay. “I called twice yesterday,” she
informed him. “I thought that maybe you were sick, and that you could use—”

“Yeah, I was busy,”
he said with a forced smile, cutting her off. “Listen, I really need to get to
my next class. I’ll catch you later.” He walked away from her quickly, leaving
her staring after him feeling dejected and bewildered.

Instinctively, she
knew something was wrong, that something had changed between them since Monday
night. She felt her knees tremble slightly.

She walked to her
next class trying to reason with herself that she was just reading too much
into his strange disposition. She had already made that mistake two days ago,
and it turned out to be nothing.

But what if she was
right? What if something had changed? What if she’d been the victim of one of
those cruel jokes some teenage guys play, making a girl fall for them for no
other reason than to feed their own ego? That thought hit her a lot harder than
it should have, rendering her utterly heartbroken.

Seeing Julie
sitting alone when she entered the cafeteria for lunch, Layla’s mood sunk even
deeper, but she tried to remain positive, assuring herself that he was probably
just running a little late.

He never showed up.

She spent the
remainder of the day in a foul and irritable mood, even going so far as to snap
at Hartley whose only crime had been trying to make her laugh. She felt
terrible instantly and apologized.

When the final bell
of the day rang, Layla legged it out of class as quickly as possible to find
Julie. She caught up with Julie by the staircase at the front entrance of the
school. “Ready?” she asked.

Julie looked
confused. “I thought you were going home with Jay,” she announced.

“What do you mean?”
Layla asked.

“I ran into him
after fourth period, and he told me that he would drive you home today, that he
had something to talk to you about.”

Layla felt a knot
tighten in her stomach, intuitively knowing that whatever it was that Jay wanted
to tell her, it would not be welcome news.

She marched out to
the parking lot to find Jay leaning against the passenger side of his Range
Rover. When he saw her approach, he opened the door for her without even the
hint of a smile.

“You wanted to talk
to me?” she questioned, plastering a smile on her face.

He nodded. “Get
in.”

“Well?” she asked
as they drove away, bracing herself for the worst.

Jay didn’t answer
but after a moment, drove into the parking lot of a nearby supermarket and
parked at the back. He turned off the ignition and rested his head against the
steering wheel.

“What did you want
to say?” she asked again, acutely aware that her voice sounded a little shaky.

Jay straightened up
and looked straight ahead, his face expressionless. “I think this situation
between us is a mistake,” he said quietly without making eye contact. “I think
I may have given you the wrong impression.”

Yep, it was as bad
as she anticipated.

Her heart began to
race faster. “I don’t know what you mean by that,” she replied. “I didn’t get
any impression.”

He turned sideways
and looked into her eyes. “Layla,” he said, then sighed deeply. “I’m really not
in a position to date anyone at the moment.”

She felt rejection
and heartache trickle slowly through her veins. She swallowed hard before
replying. “No…yeah, that’s fine,” she answered, nodding a little too
enthusiastically. “It’s cool…we’re cool.” She pleaded with herself to keep it
together until she got out of his car.

“I’m really sorry
if I—”

“No, it’s okay,”
she said quickly, wishing that he’d just start the stupid car already.

“Okay,” he replied.
“You’re okay with that, yeah?”

“Perfectly fine,”
she answered. “But if you don’t mind, I really need to get home. I have
somewhere to go.”

“Right,” he
muttered and started the car.

As they drove down
the long road to her house, she tried desperately to think of something to say
to soften the heavy mood, but nothing would come. She could sense him glancing
sideways at her from time to time and knew he could feel the tension rolling
off her as she gazed out the window, biting on her thumbnail. She noticed him
press the gas pedal a little harder, probably eager to have the unpleasant car
ride over with.

Layla had to
swallow a few times to keep the tears at bay, cursing herself for being so
emotional. What was her problem anyway? It wasn’t like her boyfriend of two
years had just broken up with her. She only really got to know him within the
last couple of weeks. No matter how she tried to rationalize it, though, she
just couldn’t deny that she was hurt deeply, regardless of how silly the notion
seemed.

When Jay finally
pulled up in front of her house, she turned and gave him a fake smile. “Bye,
thanks for the ride home,” she said quickly and bolted from the car. She didn’t
stop moving until she reached the sanctity of her bedroom. Then, to her utter
disgust, she threw herself on the bed and cried bitterly.

The next day at
school, Layla did everything she could to act upbeat and to avoid Jay as much
as possible, but when she completely blanked him during English class, Julie
was suspicious immediately.

“Do you want to
tell me what’s going on?” Julie asked over lunch.

Layla knew there
was no point in hiding the truth from her friend. As it was, Julie already knew
that Jay had asked her to the dance, and now that wasn’t happening, eventually
she’d have to come clean. She shrugged her shoulders. “It appears that Jay is
not in a position to date anyone at the moment,” Layla confessed.

“He said that?”
Julie pushed.

“That’s what he
wanted to talk to me about on the way home yesterday.”

“What a total
jerk!” Julie screeched.

Layla shrugged.
“No, it’s fine, really it is.”

“Don’t lie to me,”
Julie said. “I know you liked him a lot.”

“Yeah, but I’ll get
over it,” Layla assured her. “At least I can go to New York with my mother for
Thanksgiving now.”

For the next week
and a half, Layla did everything in her power to ignore Jay completely.

English class was
particularly brutal. She could feel the thickness in the air, even when he sat
at the other end of the room.

She wasn’t pleased
with her behavior. As much as she was nursing a broken heart and bruised pride,
she knew that to ignore Jay was wrong, not to mention childish. They’d had a
good time together over the past few weeks and to act like a total stranger was
inexcusable.

She could feel his
eyes on her from time to time, knew he was waiting for an opportunity to smile over
at her to break the ice, but she just couldn’t bring herself to look in his
direction. Not out of spite, necessarily, but because she wasn’t sure that she
wouldn’t break down again the moment she looked at him. The plan was really
quite simple; she’d just pretend he never existed, that he had only been a
divine figment of her imagination.

Still, she couldn’t
help rethinking every moment they’d spent with each other, wondering when
everything went so wrong. There was no denying the fact that Jay seemed to
enjoy their time together as much as she did. Could she have read him so
incorrectly?

She took to running
after school again. Maybe this was a good thing, an opportunity to get her life
back on the track that she’d veered off of in the last few months. Layla had
always been an avid runner, building her endurance up to ten miles a day over
the years, but due to the hot summer, and her unwillingness to get out of bed
early enough before the stifling heat hit, she’d gotten out of the habit since
the previous spring.

Her first day out
was brutal. She could barely make it a mile before she was out of breath, but
it felt good nonetheless, and she was confident that her old stamina would
return with persistence.

The following
Monday, Layla rushed out of school to the parking lot, having made arrangements
to meet Julie by her car, only to run right into Jay.

She swallowed hard
and felt her composure begin to unravel. “Sorry,” she stuttered, making a move
to walk around him, keeping her eyes on anything but his face.

“Layla…” he said
then trailed off. She glanced up briefly and noticed an undeniable look of pain
in his eyes as he gazed back at her.

She walked away
feeling the freshness of the wound he had inflicted.

When she got home
that day, she quickly changed into her running clothes and heading out the
door, knowing that it would be the only thing that would make her feel better.
As she checked her pedometer for progress, the pained look on Jay’s face
haunted her. What was that all about?

She ran faster, letting
the exertion dispel the unsettling image.

But when she was
finally standing still, back it came to plague her again. As Layla stood under
the warm water of her shower, her mind raced all over the place, trying to come
up with reasons for Jay’s behavior. She was so sure that he’d played some kind
of cruel joke on her, but now she was having doubts. There was no denying the
tortured look in his eyes when she ran into him in the parking lot. Perhaps
she’d read the whole situation wrong. Maybe he had been telling the truth when
he said he was in no position to date anyone, but if that was the case, why
not?

Realizing that she’d
probably never know the reason, and understanding that it really wasn’t any of
her business anyway, she reverted back to her old mantra: acceptance was the
only sane way to live.