Discipline (30 page)

"That would... make this a much easier decision for me."

"Oh, really?" Tobias wasn't sure if he should tease or not, but couldn't resist. "I knew you liked real estate."

"Mmm... real estate. So hot," Noah's voice was deadpan, but he punched Tobias lightly in the arm.

"So... since you seem to have given this a lot of thought, Dr. Vincent, which I have to tell you I appreciate, suppose we did move into a place downtown? What were you thinking for logistics? Any other bombshells I should mull over?"

Tobias shrugged. "About living together? Depends on the building, I suppose. Play area in town, you can have some space if you want it, whatever. If you want things to think about, we're going to have set out rules for playing with others, and we have to decide on the length of the contract." This time, he did hold his breath.

"I've been thinking about the length," Noah said, nodding. "I mean, not that I want to scare you off or anything, but I was thinking we've maybe moved beyond a term contract. That maybe we could call it open-ended and just put in a provision to either touch base at regular intervals, or build in some way to talk as things come up? Especially if I'm moving in, you know? That's a long-term decision in my mind, and I wouldn't agree to it if I didn't see us together in a year or two, or... a lot longer." He glanced up at Tobias and searched in his eyes. "Is that... am I completely off base with this?"

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Tobias grinned, the last bit of tension leaving his body and making him as relaxed as Noah. "That's perfect," he said, his hand sliding over Noah's skin. "And exactly what Bradford suggested when I told him I didn't want to lock the time frame down."

Noah laughed. "Oh, I should have known you'd have discussed it with that old busybody," Noah joked.

"He's a meddler, though. A sneaky meddler. I called him about it, too."

"You didn't!" Tobias stared at him and finally rolled onto his back, laughing. "That bastard. I bet he's got it all written up for us. So, what advice did he offer, aside from that? Don't tell me he didn't, because I won't believe you."

Noah was still laughing as he sat up and slid carefully out of bed. He made his way over to the breakfast tray and looked it over. "Well, the conversation started with me asking if he thought it was outrageous to suggest that we live together, and if he had any ideas on how it might work out. You know where that goes. You want some more coffee?"

Noah poured himself a cup, the sun coming in the window reflecting off his cock ring. "The next thing that he suggested was that I think about our personal relationship as a separate thing from our Dom/sub arrangement and find a way to be sure that it's protected now that I'm wearing your collar."

Tobias nodded. "And did you come up with anything? Because aside from making sure we have set, specific times when you're in your sub role, or some sort of signal for when one of us needs a scene, I'm not really sure where to take that. Your own space... downtime each evening after work..." He sat up and leaned back against the headboard. "I mean, we could make a huge long list of what we will or will not do, but that makes things rigid and inflexible. A relationship shouldn't feel like it needs a rule book."

"I definitely don't want a rule book," Noah said as he crossed around the bed to refill Tobias' cup. "And I'm not sure I'll need downtime every night after work. I mean, I can certainly see the merits of you having plans for me the minute I walk in the door." He grinned. "I like the idea of having my own space, and I think as far as downtime after work, if I've had a rough day and I think I need it, I would hope that a phone call to let you know on my way home would take care of that. I'm not concerned about being able to ask you for what I need, I know you'll hear me, and I know if you disagree with me that we'll discuss it. I think Bradford just wanted me to evaluate those things before we sat down at the table, you know?"

"That makes sense," Tobias said easily. He smiled his thanks for the coffee and shifted farther up on the bed, worried mostly about slopping coffee on the sheets. "I'm really not concerned about communication; I think we're pretty good about that. We should talk about play, though. We've been getting into some more intense things, spontaneously."

"Like the other night." Noah nodded and went back to the tray to put a plate together.

"Like the other night," Tobias agreed. He looked down at his coffee mug and gave it a quarter turn in his hand. "I almost hit you," he said finally. "I didn't -- hadn't -- intended things to get that intense when we started. I've never really cared for rape fantasies, it seemed like a cop-out. But that was..." He didn't know what it was, aside from stunningly hot.

"Hot," Noah finished his thought for him. "It was hot. So apparently you get off on it more than you knew. I don't think it's a cop-out, I think it's more of a physical expression of an intellectual power-exchange, if that makes any sense. Does it bother you that you wanted to hit me?"

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

"I hit you all the time," Tobias pointed out with a slight smile. "No, it bothers me that I sank so deeply into the scene, that I wanted to overpower you, that I fed off your struggles that way. Every time you said no I got harder, and that bothers me."

"It was a scene. I mean, it wasn't one we'd discussed, but I knew what you wanted and I went with it.

Are you afraid you wouldn't have stopped if I'd used a safe word? That would be something to worry about. Getting turned on by me saying 'no' when, in this particular case, you knew damn well I was enjoying myself? That's not something to lose sleep over."

Tobias sipped his coffee and thought honestly about that, trying to remember the event clearly. He knew he'd been lost in a fog of arousal, needing so much to get Noah off that it almost caused physical pain. He knew he'd been desperate for his own release. Could he have stopped, really?

Finally he put the coffee cup down and scrubbed at his face. "I would have stopped," he said. "But I really would have hit you, if it would have made you come." His palm itched and he rubbed at it, the urge to hit Noah while pounding into him a mocking memory. "If we're going to do it again you have to know that."

Noah brought a plate over and set it in Tobias' lap. "Thankyou," he said leaning in farther to kiss him.

"I'm not entirely sure what it says about me that it very well might have, but I'd like to do it again." He sat beside Tobias with a plate of his own.

Tobias nodded, trying to look noncommittal. Something like that either took a lot of planning, like the scene in the parking lot, or happened spontaneously. He picked up a strawberry and bit into it, thinking about the other things they had to work out. "Phantom," he finally said. "Or Martin, or whatever. We should talk about playing with others. You have standing orders about Phan, and Martin wasn't playing so much as an accident, but we should talk about thirds anyway."

"Would it be terribly transparent of me to request that we talk about each instance as it comes up? Or at least as we see it has the potential for something to come up? For me it really does depend not just on who it is, but the circumstances around each scene." Noah looked over at Tobias and then back at his plate. "That is transparent, isn't it?" He sighed. "Okay, so I like Phan, and there will be times when I might be really into a scene involving him, but I know there will be times when it just doesn't feel right to me.

I'm not even sure I can tell you what those times might be, it's just... a reservation that I have."

"That's fair," Tobias said. "Not really easy to navigate, but fair. It's my job to be in tune with what's going on, Noah, so I'll do my best. You always have your words, and I'll never take them away -- and you can always refuse. You know that." He leaned over and brushed his lips over Noah's cheek. "Would it be a huge shock to know that I like you and Phan together?" he asked with a smile.

"Hardly," Noah said, chuckling. "And don't get me wrong, I like Phan and me together, too. Honestly, I'd say most of the time I'll be up for it. You know I'm attracted to him, but I just don't know that I can agree to a hard and fast rule there. If you want to set one, if you want something in writing, then I need an out written in for me as well."

Tobias snorted. "I'm hardly going to make a rule that you have to have sex with Phan whenever I want you to." He grinned. "For one, Phan would have to sign off on it, too."

"Oh, please, Tobias, can you imagine Phan ever saying no?"

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

"Ego!" Tobias laughed and kissed Noah again. "He'd be an idiot to say no."

"Well, perhaps." Noah laughed, too. "But I meant that he's such a sensual person and I don't see him turning down an opportunity to play in your stables." Noah took a bite of Danish. "Oh, this is really yummy." He held it out for Tobias to take a taste. "So what else, besides third parties and living arrangements, is on your mind?"

Tobias bit into the Danish and shrugged. "Nothing, really. Oh, that is good, thankyou. I'm wondering about limits -- we've gotten through your cage, where should we go next? What would you like to try?

More suspension? Sensory work?"

"Best birthday present ever," Noah said with a huge smile. "Seriously, that was a priceless gift. Can I say thankyou again?"

"You can always say thankyou. I like your thankyous. A lot. Stop avoiding the sensory questions."

Tobias grinned and took another bite of Noah's Danish.

Noah glanced at Tobias. "Excuse me, I think you've had enough of my yummy Danish." He winked and took a bite.

"You offered!" Tobias tried to look highly insulted, but couldn't really keep back his grin. "That's not part of the thankyou, then? And don't think you're getting away with avoiding this, Noah."

"I'm not avoiding it, I'm procrastinating."

"Ah, I see. So it's our next project then. That could be fun." Tobias raised an eyebrow at him.

Noah snorted. "For you."

"Well, yes." Tobias nudged him with his elbow and began to eat another strawberry. "Tell me about it. Is it something you want to get past, or do you want to leave it? Be honest with yourself."

Noah sighed. "You know I don't like obstacles. Part of the point for me is to get past them. I want to be broader, gain more experience, so yeah, I guess it's the next project." He ate the rest of his Danish in one bite.

"Okay. We can do that. Anything else you want to do? Try? I'd like to play out of our comfort zone once in a while. Step up the fantasy play."

Noah looked at Tobias sidelong, grinning. "I love the fantasy stuff. Do you?"

Tobias grinned and nodded. "Oh, yeah. I have some ideas..."

"Yeah? Want to share or surprise me?" Noah stole one of Tobias' berries.

Tobias just grinned and picked up the last berry.

Noah laughed. "Tease. Okay, so out of our comfort zone... what do you mean by that exactly?"

"I mean not the stables, and not our home. Possibly not even the club." He considered the berry for a moment and finally took a bite. "I'm not saying public sex, but maybe going to other clubs. Play acting --

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

I could pick you up somewhere, or something. A discreet tour of the underground clubs. Just... getting out."

Noah almost wiggled. Actually, he did wiggle. "I love it."

"I thought you might," Tobias said with a pleased smile. Always ready to play, his boy. "And you?

Anything you want to try? Hell, any rules you want made? It's your negotiation, too. Tell me. Am I too hard on you, not hard enough? What do you need, baby?"

"More deep days," Noah said easily. It seemed that he'd given this some thought. "I need to work a little harder once in a while. Even fail occasionally, you know? You're indulgent, maybe too indulgent sometimes." He looked at Tobias squarely. "I have loved every minute of getting to know each other, Tobias, it's been quite possibly the best six months in my memory. So don't get me wrong, I want to keep some of what we have now. A lot of it. But I need to keep working. I'm a good sub, I'm confident in that, but everyone can grow. I need you to be tougher with me sometimes. Maybe a weekend a month, or something? I'm sure it would benefit you, too."

"Okay," Tobias said slowly. "Harder how? More restrictions? More overt expectations, like kneeling, serving, chores? Or deeper scenes? Flogged longer and harder?"

"More serving, yes. More of a critical eye? Longer scenes, maybe test my concentration a bit more? It's hard for me to explain it well; I was kind of hoping you might see it better than I do. More... intensity, I guess. More demanding of me." He sighed. "I'm not saying you're not demanding or tough on me, you know that, right? I mean I'm not criticizing you, I just need you to... push me. Amp it up a bit now and then."

"No, no, I understand that," Tobias assured him. "And I think I know what you mean. If you want a hard-ass once a month, you got it. No bitching though." He grinned. "I can be a real bastard."

"Good. Prove it." Noah grinned, looking relieved. It was true that the way Noah served him now, Noah made it seem as natural as breathing. And maybe it was.

"I will," he promised. He leaned over and kissed Noah's mouth. "This is going rather well."

"I knew it would." Noah got out of bed again and went back to the food table. "Want anything? Oh, man, if we move in together you can come to police functions as my spouse." He chuckled.

"I will, you know," Tobias said softly. "If you want me to."

Noah looked at him. "Well, at least you're good looking; it'll be harder to make fun of us." He came back over to the bed with another plate. "I'm out, but it's not... popular to be gay. The guys are happier if they don't have to see it. I'm used to it."

"I know." Tobias looked at him, studied him. "But I'll do what ever you need, Noah. I love you, and I'd be proud to let anyone know that I'm your spouse."