Disasterology 101 (51 page)

Some of his acquaintances and old friends waved at him; some asked how he was, politely, awkwardly, and mostly from afar. Some sneered, some studied him, and some others ignored his presence… and not a single person sat close to him.

Then there were the pity looks they were all throwing at Jenny. But his ex-wife, who’d never ceased to amaze him, responded to what she considered to be ill-placed concern by hugging and kissing Kevin then sitting between him and her new boyfriend for the first half of the game.

She’d been fantastic the past week. Furious at Aunt Joanie, and the rest of their community for the way they’d been treating him, she’d been willing to help him look for another apartment where he could bring the kids.

Kevin had let her.

Thanks to Cedric forwarding his blueprints certificate to Greebriar’s Human Resources department, and having a little chat with the Superintendent, he was now working full time on the same jobsite he’d been on for the past several months, and as a result his income had tripled. He was feeling way better about himself, but still wasn’t sure if living together was the right decision.

What if Cedric changed his mind? What if Kevin’s permanent presence affected him? What if he threw daily hissy fits about where Kevin left his work tools, and other things? What if he forgot to not move things around? What if he wasn’t in the mood to ensure every object was carefully placed three inches apart from the next? What if, despite Cedric’s best intentions, he found himself incapable of dealing with the kids? What if one day he decided to pack up his bags, and go back to England?

Not to mention, he hadn’t decided if he liked the fact that Cedric’s phone call had practically outed Kevin to his boss, and quite possibly his co-workers. They were all still cool with him, but Kevin didn’t know if it was because they didn’t care, or because they didn’t want to mess with one of the company owners’ boyfriend.

He felt like a goddamn hypocrite.

A few months ago he’d been all gung ho about being true to himself, not living a lie, and letting the world see the man he really was, and now he was worried about his co-workers knowing he was shacking up with their ten times removed boss.

Christ.

He definitely had to do something about that.

Kevin took a bite of his hotdog, and waved at Ava and Brianna, then winced when he saw yet another kid push TK to the ground. When the referees pretended not to notice, Kevin forced himself to remain seated. As much as he wanted to go to the field, and demand the fuckers do their job and stop the poor sportsmanship currently being exhibited, he knew he’d only hurt his son’s pride if he intervened.

“If I leave now they’ll think it’s fine to call us names, and they’ll think I’m a wimp,” TK had said when Kevin suggested during halftime he sit the rest of the game out. “I’ll be fine, Dad. I got this.”

Kevin understood why TK was so adamant about standing his ground, but he shouldn’t have to. He shouldn’t have to put up with the ‘faggot like your father’ chorus some kids had going on. He shouldn’t have to defend himself from physical and verbal attacks from boys who had been his friends until very recently, only because his dad liked men.

To say Kevin felt all kinds of guilty and responsible for the situation would be an understatement. If things didn’t calm down soon, he’d have no choice but to stay away from the games. The last thing he wanted was to ruin his children’s social life, and sense of belonging, with his presence.

“Hey man.”

“Hey.” Kevin turned sideways, and forced himself to smile at Paul Mancini, surprised to see him there, but glad that his old friend could make it to their sons’ team game after missing most of the season. “About time you showed up to support your kid. I’m sure he’ll be damn happy to see you here.”

When the man neither smiled back nor tried to bump fists like they’d done for the past twenty-five years, Kevin’s smile faltered

He knows.

Paul said, “We’re planning the wedding, so Sharon’s been keeping me busy.” He sat next to Kevin on the bleachers and adjusted his sunglasses. “Lots of shit needs to be done and bought, but there’s not enough time or money. I’ve been fucking stressed, and I don’t like to be around the kids when I feel that way. You know how it is.”

“I hear you,” he said.

Kevin didn’t have a damn clue how it was.

Unlike Paul, he wasn’t a serial-marrier, and spending time with his kids came before anything else in the world. He’d never disappoint them by not showing up to their activities just because he had “something to do” with the current fiancée, wife, or soon-to-be-ex. He didn’t say anything, though. Trying to get Paul to get his priorities straight had proved futile a long time ago.

“I met with the guys the other night,” Paul mumbled.

I so don’t need this shit right now.

Kevin sat up straighter and went back to watching TK’s soccer game. “Did you?”

The guys were Jake and John, two classmates who still lived in the area. Kevin wasn’t all that close with them, but their respective wives were friends, and they attended each other’s Fourth of July BBQs. Not anymore though. Kind of hard to keep up with tradition when Paul and Jake got divorced and re-married every two years, and he and Jenny had split up as well. But up until a few months ago Kevin would still get together with the guys, and enjoy the occasional ball game broadcast at their local watering hole.

“Yeah… shot some hoops with them. It was fun,” Paul added.

“Cool.”

“They said they haven’t seen you around in a while, so I wanted to ask you.”

Paul’s tone was extremely casual. It gave Kevin goosebumps. “Ask me what?”

“Where the hell have you been?”

Working my ass off, not that I didn’t tell you that the last time we spoke.

Over four months ago. Christ. Where’d the time gone?

Kevin bit into his hotdog and chewed slowly, giving himself a few extra seconds to consider his answer. Much had happened and changed in his life since the last time he saw Paul, yet Kevin didn’t think he needed to bring him up to speed on any of it.

They’d been best friends since junior high, but they hadn’t had a meaningful conversation in at least five years. They didn’t have anything in common anymore. While Paul kept busy chasing tail and procreating children he could hardly support, Kevin was focused on his family and career. Their lives and goals were completely different.

“Kev?”

“I’ve been around.”

“Meaning what?” Paul pushed for details. “Have you been working? Dating? Trying to win Jenny back? What have you been doing with yourself, man?”

He definitely knows.

There was only one reason for Paul’s presence in the park today, and cheering on his son wasn’t it.

“Why are you here, Paul?” Kevin asked, keeping an eye on his daughters. Brianna and Ava had been playing with some other kids, but now they were waving and calling for him, doing their best to get his attention. He waved back at them.

A nervous chuckle escaped Paul, and he tried to cover it by coughing. “What do you mean, why am I here?” he repeated. “I came to see Derek play.”

“What?” Kevin wiped his mouth with a napkin and glanced at the other man. “No tux fittings today? What about wedding cake samplings, or a trip to some store to check out the china?” He shook his head. “It’s been a while since you gave a shit about your son’s games.”

“But you’re the perfect dad, so….” Paul’s tone was so mocking it made Kevin cringe. His friend had never understood Kevin’s dedication to his kids. “I knew I’d find you here.”

“Okay….”

“People are talking, Kev.” All pretenses disappeared. Paul’s face flushed, and he sounded as if he was doing his best not to throw up in the middle of the bleachers. “I don’t like what they’re saying.”

“Who’s
they
?”

Kevin glanced at his daughters again. Ava was running toward the fast food stand and Brianna toward the bleachers.
It was time to finish their conversation.

“People at church,” Paul spat. “Your mother and aunt have been telling everybody they’ve joined PFLAG to educate themselves, and that the congregation should do the same. They even told Father Rabuano!”

“Oh.” Kevin’s chest felt tight. Whereas Aunt Joanie wouldn’t even look at him, his other three aunts had overwhelmed him with their love and support. Kevin had no words to express his gratitude and relief, and all the other emotions he could hardly deal with. The majority of his family might not fully understand his sudden change in sexual orientation, but they weren’t ashamed of him. They weren’t hiding him like a dirty secret.

“Daddy!” Brianna was so excited about whatever it was she wanted to share with him that her voice came out as a squeal. It made Kevin smiled despite the tense conversation with Paul. “Come, Daddy. Quick!”

“One minute, sweetheart.” Kevin smiled at her and tried to halt her progress with a gesture of his hand, but she didn’t stop. “I need to go,” he told Paul.

“If what I heard is true, I’m going to have to ask you to stand down as my best man,” Paul finally said, and damned if he wasn’t near foaming at the mouth. If Kevin hadn’t known the guy couldn’t fight for shit, he’d have been scared of the sight. “I won’t have a fucking faggot in my wedding party.”

“Then this is it, Paul.” Kevin drank some of his coffee, and continued to monitor Brianna’s advance, not particularly worried about Paul’s reaction. It was sad and disappointing, but he’d been expecting it, and all that was left was a sense of detachment growing inside him. “I wish you and Sharon the best of luck.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Paul growled. “Is that all you have to say to me?”

“Watch yourself.” Kevin collected wrappers and used napkins, then put them all inside a plastic bag. “In case you haven’t noticed, this is a family event. Don’t you dare make a scene, and ruin the game for the kids and everybody else.”

“You already did that by showing up here, Kev.”

Kevin flinched internally, but he’d be damned if he’d let Paul see it. “I’ve been attending games for years. Not my fault if people can’t pull their head out of their ass and focus on what’s really important, man.”

“You’re going to tell me
right now
how long you’ve been a fudge-packer.”

Kevin shook his head and took a deep breath, set on not allowing Paul’s derogatory words to bother him. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“You’re fucking crazy if you think you don’t.” Kevin watched Paul take his sunglasses off and glare at him. “You’ve seen me naked.”

“So?”

“That’s like a fucking violation of my trust, man.”

Kevin took a deep breath and shook his head.

“How could you do this to your friends and family?” Paul continued his tirade. “Do you think your kids are going to accept this? They’ll be ashamed of you ’til they turn forty, and I can only imagine the shit they’re going to have to deal with at school. I thought you cared about them, you disgusting asshole.”

“My family’s been great,” Kevin said with a huge smile, absolutely relieved that that was the case. “And my kids will be fine.”

I’ll make sure that they are.

“Did you ever think about me that way?”

“Daddy!”

Brianna had almost reached them.

Jesus.

“
Not. Once.
” As mortifying as it was to have this conversation around a dozen eavesdropping acquaintances, Kevin figured it’d be best to get it out of the way. “I understand my homosexuality is a surprise to you, but I can assure you, I didn’t know I was gay either. Not until recently.”

Paul’s lip curled, and his fists clenched. “Don’t say that word in my presence, or I’ll fuck you up.”

“It’s who I am, and there’s no changing it,” Kevin rushed to say. He didn’t care that people he’d known for years were now openly listening to them, but no way was he letting his daughter witness their conversation.