Dirty Thoughts (14 page)

Chapter Twenty

W
HEN
J
ENNA AND
Asher pulled into the parking lot of the garage, Cal was leaning on the wall outside, hands in the pockets of his overalls, something white dangling from his lips. Jenna thought at first that it was a cigarette, but then he gripped the stick and popped a lollipop out of his mouth.

Even with a red lollipop, Cal looked effortlessly cool.

Jenna took a deep breath, wishing that it would get easier every time she saw him instead of harder. Cal worked one Saturday a month, and Asher had suggested they bring him lunch. The kid had already hopped out of the car, bag in hand from the local deli. “We brought you lunch!”

“What the hell did you do to your hair?” Cal’s voice boomed across the parking lot.

Jenna grinned and stepped out of the car to follow the newly blue-haired Asher.

Cal was staring at the kid’s head with utter horror.

Asher ran his hand over the longer hair on top. “Jenna dyed it for me.”

Cal’s eyes cut to her, but she’d long ago learned not to wither beneath the steel of his gaze. She shrugged. “He wanted to dye it.”

“Yeah? And if he wanted to get his tongue pierced, you’d let him do that too?”

“I actually do want to get my tongue pierced,” Asher said.

Cal’s eyes widened. “Yeah? I’ll pierce your mouth shut before I sign to let you get your tongue pierced.”

Jenna laughed and smacked Cal’s chest with her hand. “Calm down. It’s just hair.”

“It’s fucking blue,” Cal muttered.

“He likes it, and there’s no harm.”

“Fine,” he said and then pointed at the teenager. “But no fucking piercings!”

“Who’s talking about piercings?” Brent’s voice called from inside the office. He strolled out, wearing a pair of jeans and a faded gray T-shirt. “Because I’ve got—”

“No one wants to know,” Cal growled. “Swear to God, Brent, no one wants to know.”

Because Jenna never learned not to poke the bear, she turned to Cal. “I kinda want to know.”

Cal’s jaw clenched, and Brent winked at her. “I’d let you find out if I didn’t think Cal would cut off my balls.”

“I’d do more than cut off your balls,” Cal said.

Brent raised his eyebrows. “See?”

“So . . . ” Asher lifted up the bag of sandwiches. “Anyone hungry?”

That effectively shut down the conversation, which was a good thing, because Cal was glaring at Brent, and Brent seemed positively delighted about it. They walked to the back room, and Brent went with them, humming under his breath.

“Don’t you have things to do other than hanging around the garage on your day off?” Jenna asked Brent.

He shrugged, and his slate eyes, so like Cal’s, shuttered. “Just getting some paperwork done.”

“Do you need help?”

Brent waved her away. “You and your
boyfriend
”—he winked at her—“have a nice romantic lunch together.”

“Brent!” Cal said over his shoulder. “Quit being a pain in the ass.”

“Can’t.” Brent tipped an imaginary hat to Jenna. “It’s when I stop being a pain in the ass that you gotta worry. Later, kids.” He walked into the office and shut the door behind him.

Cal’s gaze kept straying to Asher’s hair as they ate. Then he’d shake his head and look back down. Jenna figured he’d get over it in time. His lips were stained red from the lollipop he’d had in his mouth, and he looked infinitely kissable. She needed to think about something else. “So how’s business?”

Cal shrugged. “Good. Busy.”

“You talk to your dad any more about working on bikes?” Jenna asked.

Cal spoke after he’d swallowed the bite of his sandwich. “I haven’t said anything yet, but I’m getting ready to put my foot down. I hired a realtor, and I’ve been checking out some places I can rent to open up my own shop.” He glanced around and then spoke quieter. “I hate to do that, because I don’t want Brent to get caught in the crosshairs of the fight, but why should I let Dad make all the decisions? He a stubborn son of a bitch.”

“He’s not that bad,” Asher said softly, crunching on a pickle.

Cal raised his eyebrows, but before he could respond, Jack’s voice came from the garage. “Where’s the kid?”

“Back here!” Asher called, and Cal’s eyebrows rose higher.

“Doesn’t your dad have off today?” Jenna asked.

Cal stared at the doorway, his tongue touching the corner of his mouth. “Yup.”

“So what’s he doing here?” she asked.

“I’m sure he’ll tell us.”

Jack strode into the room. She’d only seen him briefly at the restaurant that night all hell broke loose, so she got a better look at him now. He was a huge man, easily six foot four, and stocky. His face was craggy, probably from all the time he’d spent in the sun and all the cigarettes he’d smoked. He’d never been friendly to her, but then he’d never been outright hostile either. He saved that for his sons. Max always got the worst of it. Jenna had always thought Jack had a soft spot for his oldest son, even though he rarely showed it.

“Cal.” Jack’s voice was a crack.

“What’s going on?” Cal asked.

“Need the kid.”

“The kid?”

“Did I stutter?”

“Why do you need the kid?”

Jack was staring at Asher now like he had two heads. “Why the fuck is your hair blue?”

“Dad, why do you need the kid?”

“Airport. And seriously, why is his hair blue?”

“What are you talking about?” Cal sounded incredibly confused, and Jack looked pissed off that he had to explain anything. Jenna wondered how they got anything done where communication was essential.

Jack turned to Cal and huffed out a breath. “I’m taking the kid to the airport.”

Jenna looked at Cal’s face, which was frozen in shock. “The Tory airport?”

“Where the hell else? You think I’m taking him to LaGuardia? We’re going to eat at Smithy’s. Let’s go, kid. Should probably stick a hat on you so you don’t give the old men there a heart attack. Jesus. Blue? Why blue?”

Cal stared. “Wait, why—?”

“Quit with the fucking twenty questions. Now come on, kid, so we can get there before they run out of the rib special!”

Asher’s eyes were huge, a chip raised halfway to his mouth. “You’re taking me to the airport?”

“Did I not just say that? You got dye in your ears? Let’s go.”

Asher stood up, gathering his trash.

Jack’s gaze then focused on Jenna, like he’d only just noticed her sitting there. “So you’re back, huh?” The man talked like he was raised by wolves.

“Yes,” Jenna said. “Good to see you, Mr. Payton.”

“Jack,” he grunted with a scowl.

“Jack,” she amended.

He squinted at her, his eyes not dropping below her neck. “How long you sticking around this time?”

“Dad—” Cal started.

“I’m here for good, Mr.—Jack.”

Cal laid a proprietary hand on her forearm. Jack’s eyes dipped to that and then honed in on his son. “Well, that clears that up.”

“What?” Cal asked.

“Thought maybe girls didn’t give you those feelin’s anymore. Wondered if you were the kid’s way.”

Jenna had to turn her head so she didn’t burst out laughing.

Cal wasn’t amused. “I like women, Dad.”

“I’m just sayin’.”

“You don’t date, so who’re you to talk?”

“I’m too fucking old for that shit.”

Jenna was still stuck on Jack’s taking Asher to the airport. “Does Asher like planes or something?”

Cal turned to her. “Dad’s into ’em. We all chipped in and bought him flight lessons, but he hasn’t done it yet, even though he hangs around that airport with fucking puppy-dog eyes—”

“Now, see here—”

“And now he’s got another kid who will maybe share his obsession, since none of us give a shit.”

“Hey, I like planes,” Jack protested. “They fucking fly!”

Jenna cocked her head. “You like planes,” she said to Jack, “like Cal likes motorcycles.”

Both men fell silent.

“Never thought of them bein’ compared like that,” Jack muttered.

“And if you do let Cal work on bikes here—”

“Gettin’ her on my ass about this too?”

“I can help,” she continued. “I have marketing experience. I could drum up some business.”

Jack was scowling at her, while Cal looked like he was going to kneel at her feet.

And then Brent broke the silence, his voice warbling from inside the office as he belted AC/DC.

Jack rolled his eyes. “That boy.”

“Dad—”

Jack waved his hand. “We’ll talk later.”

“That’s what you always say.”

“Well, I need my ribs. I’ll have him home by dinner.” He nodded to Jenna and then waved to Asher to walk ahead of him.

The kid turned around and waved. “See ya later.”

“Thanks for bringing lunch,” Cal said.

As they walked out, Jack called over his shoulder. “Quit lollygagging and get back to work!”

Jenna waited until she heard Jack’s truck start up in the parking lot before turning to Cal. “He’s spending time with Asher?”

Cal was staring at the doorway. “That’s weird as shit.”

“About him and Asher?”

“Hell, yeah. They’re like . . . night and day.” He chewed his lip.

“What?” Jenna asked in response to his troubled stare.

Cal shook his head out of his trance. “Nothing, I . . . well, I guess I’m just surprised. The airport was always my dad’s thing. He rarely took any of us.” Cal huffed. “Getting paternal in his old age or something.”

“Think he’ll ever cave about the motorcycles?”

Cal blew out a breath. “Hell if I know. Thinking now maybe I need to stick Asher on the case.”

“Sounds like maybe you’re not the favorite anymore,” Jenna teased.

Cal snorted a laugh. “I think I’m all right with that.”

C
AL WASN’T EAGER
to get back to work after they finished lunch. He stood, drinking his water at the sink, while Jenna talked about what she’d done with Asher that morning. Her hair was down in soft waves around her face, and the green of her tank top brought out the green in her hazel eyes. Her cheeks were flushed from the heat, and since it was the best damn sight he’d see all day, he wasn’t in a hurry to get away from it.

“I washed Asher’s hair in the sink, so I didn’t stain your bathroom, by the way,” she said.

“Appreciate that.”

“And there’s barbecue in the Crock-Pot for dinner. I have plans with Delilah.”

She’d brought him lunch and made him dinner. “Okay.”

“And Asher needed a new pair of sunglasses. Remember, you sat on his and broke them? So I ordered some online. They’ll be there in two days.”

She’d spent time with his half-brother today and saw that he got what he needed. “Sounds great.”

“And he wants us to go see that new Sam Andrews movie. It’s out on Thursday. I went ahead and ordered tickets, but if you can’t go, then I’ll cancel them—”

“Jenna, what are we doing?” he asked softly.

She stopped talking abruptly and stared at him, eyes wide. “What do you mean?”

“This.” He gestured between the two of them. “What is this?”

Caution. That was the emotion creeping over her features. Caution. She stood up and walked toward him until she stood a foot away, arms crossed over her chest. “I’m not sure what you mean. This is me, being a friend to Asher, just like I want to be and like you asked me to be. This is us, being friends and only friends, because that’s what you wanted, Cal. And that’s what’s best for us, since we want different things. That’s exactly what this is.”

She was everywhere now, like air. She was in his head and his life. It had only been a couple of weeks, yet Cal had a hard time remembering how life was without her. And his attraction to her? It hadn’t faded, not one fucking bit. Because even now, with her features hardened, he wanted her.

He’d always want her.

His fingers itched to grab her waist, to bury his nose in her hair. He wasn’t content to remain in her presence anymore, soaking in her light.

He shook his head. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”

“I understand,” she said softly, taking a step toward him until their hips brushed. He sucked in a breath. “What’s happening is that you don’t see what’s right in front of your face. You didn’t want a relationship or a family . . . well, what exactly do you think has been going on for the last couple of weeks?” She stepped back then, and he almost went with her. She fisted her hands at her sides. “Think about that, will you?” She tossed the rest of her lunch in the trash and walked out.

H
E COULDN’T SAY
what he did for the rest of the day. He worked on autopilot. He did his job, but his mind was elsewhere. Jenna’s words swirled in his head, and even though he tried hard to drown it out with the radio, nothing was working.

He’d thought for so long that he didn’t have it in him to be a relationship man, a family man. At one time, that’s all he wanted to be, to prove to himself that he wasn’t like his dad, that he wasn’t like his mom.

But that had been ten years ago. He’d spent the decade since then convincing himself he didn’t want that anymore. But if he was honest with himself, he hadn’t been this happy since . . . well, since he could remember. He and Jenna had fallen in to this weird give-and-take relationship, and he hadn’t even noticed until now.

Cal didn’t do anything unless it meant something. If he went all-in with love, then everyone’s money needed to be in the kitty in the center of the table.

His brothers had been all-in this whole time; Cal had held up a martyr complex as a shield, rather than face the truth.

And that didn’t fucking serve anyone.

Was he really going to keep up this lone-wolf act forever? It was exhausting. And now that he remembered what it was like to step outside of his little circle, to let his emotions guide him, it had felt damn good. He missed that, the drive to be with someone so badly he ached.

He hadn’t felt like that with anyone, ever, except Jenna. He was still unsure about being . . . enough. He didn’t know if he had it in him to do this all over again. If he still had the drive to care and protect. But Jenna’s return and Asher’s presence had stirred something in him that made him think maybe . . . maybe he could. Which just showed that his reserve of emotions and those damn
fucking feelings
went deeper than he thought.