Dirty Little Mistake (Dirty #2) (9 page)

“Stop!”

Chapter Eleven

Ridley

If it hadn’t been
for the force with which Brenna said the word, I might’ve thought she was kidding.  Teasing me. 

Even through my pants, I could feel
the slickness between her legs.  I knew her heart was beating as quickly as mine and her eagerness was apparent in the way she gripped my neck and the way she gasped with each kiss.

I
wanted nothing as badly as I wanted to undo those two snaps on her shirt and to unfasten her bra and push those shorts to her ankles.

“Stop,” she said again, this time a little more softly, but
with no less certainty.

I eased away from her
and she slid to the ground.  I stepped back, set to be pissed off.  When I put a bit of space between us, I saw that her face had crumpled and whatever typical guy, asshole thing I’d been about to say died in my throat.

“What’s wrong, Pancake?”

“I’m sorry. I just…” She shook her head like she couldn’t quite finish her sentence.

“Hey. It’s all right. We don’t have to
do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” I told her, well aware that I sounded like a high school cliché.

“
No. It’s not that. It’s…Have you ever done something you know you’re going to regret for the rest of your life?”

“Every weekend for the first seventeen years of my life.”

“Ridley…”

I shot her a crooked smile. “I refuse to believe kissing me is something you’re going to regret for the rest of your life.”

“It’s not. And I don’t want it to be. But I’m not talking about us. Not directly anyway.”

I nudged her shoulder.
“So…You regret the kiss indirectly?”

She still didn’t smile back.
“Has one of those things you regretted ever had a different consequence? One so amazing you wouldn’t take back the mistake itself because if you hadn’t made it in the first place…you wouldn’t get that fantastic thing, too?”

I ran
a hand over my head, carefully considering her words.  God knew I was a guy with a helluva past.  Girls and fights and fucking up at every opportunity.  I didn’t dwell on it too badly.  I refused to.  My past made me who I was; the bad parts of my life were the building blocks of who I was at that very moment.  That didn’t mean there weren’t a few things I wouldn’t undo if I could. 

I had a feeling that wasn’t what Brenna was talking about, though.

“Why don’t you give me an example?” I suggested.

“You remember the night o
f your housewarming?” she asked without meeting my eyes.

A dark feeling settled in my heart at her words, and I paused for several moments before answering. When I
did speak, I couldn’t keep the tinge of resentment from my voice.

“I thought we were pretending that didn’t happen.”

This time, the long pause was hers. “For the sake of right now…Let’s pretend only parts of it happened.”

“
Less regret that way?”

She ignored my tone
, and looked down at her hands as she spoke in a stilted way. “That was the day of my mom’s funeral. It was…I don’t want to say a sad day…But it was a hard one. Mostly because I thought I’d said goodbye years before. I spent so much time hating her that I wasn’t expecting to love her in the end.”

Yes.  That was a kind of regret I could understand.

She finally brought her gaze to mine, and the pain in her eyes set off every one of my protective instincts.  I wanted to pull her into my arms, to soothe away whatever regret she had, and to make sure she never had another.  Except I thought that might make it worse.

She turned a pleading look my way. “Does that make any kind of sense?”

“It makes perfect sense, PC. Death is hard. It’s confusing. It makes you angry and sad and bitter and I think with only a month and half of grieving behind you, you’re being amazingly strong.”

“I feel weak,” she admitted softly.

“If your mom’s death
didn’t
made you sad, that’s when I’d be worried. It’s weak to let hate consume you. It requires a lot more strength to admit you care than it does to pretend you don’t.”

“I really hated her
some of the time, Ridley. While she was alive, anyway. She made the first eighteen years of my life complete hell. When she wasn’t telling me I would never become anything more than a used-up piece of trash, she was busy telling me I already
was
piece of used-up trash. She did drugs and she stole money from me and chose her men over me, every time. So I have some trust issues. And some self-esteem issues. And I’m wondering…Can we be friends, Ridley?” she asked awkwardly.

“Friends?”

It wasn’t what I wanted.  It wasn’t even close.

Except I was damned sure if I said no, we couldn’t be friends, that she’d stop talking to me altogether.  And the thought made my chest burn.

Christ, Ridley. You’d barely spoken to her before two days ago. And now you can’t live without her?

Her next words made me shove down the critical voice.

“I feel like I can trust you, even if I can’t trust myself,” she said. “And I could really use a friend.”

“We
are
friends, Pancake. And you can trust me.”

“Prove it.”

“Prove it?”

She nodded.  Any other girl might’ve bee
n trying to be cute, or trying to manipulate the situation.  Instinctively, I knew that wasn’t the case with Brenna.  She genuinely wanted me to offer her some kind of proof that she could trust me.

I took a breath and grabbed her hand, palm-to-palm
, careful to ensure it was a friendly gesture rather than a romantic one.

“
When my own mom died, I lost my shit, Pancake. I mean, I’d never been a good kid, or an easy kid or a Little League champ. And she wasn’t going for mom-of-the-year, either, but once she was gone, all I could do was wish she was still alive so I could talk to her one more time.”

Brenna squeezed my hand.
“I know exactly how that feels. In the last month and a half, I’ve visited my mom’s grave more times than I saw her in the last four years. Every time something hurts, I go there, to that cemetery and I talk to her in a way that I could never talk to her while she was alive. And the thing is, Ridley…”

“What?”

“It brings me right back to what happened that night at your house five weeks ago. And back to Ian.”

I forced myself to keep from drawing my hand away from hers and up into a fist. “And back to the regret.”

She finally smiled, and it was sad enough to fill my heart with cracks. “That night. My mom’s death. Ian…They’re tied so closely together that I can’t separate the two. Not even for a minute.”

I saw it.  I didn’t want to, but I did.
  She’d hung her hopes on Ian.  Going in any other direction would be like admitting her mom had been right about her all along.

“
I have to ask, though,” I said softly. “What if he’s not the one to help you do it?”

“
I don’t know. I just know I have to try.”

The sincerity in her
voice made me close my eyes and say something I was sure I was going to regret.

“I’ll help you.”

“You will?”

“
Yes. But I’m going to have a condition to this deal.”

“Other than no hugging?”

I opened my eyes. “Three dates.”

Brenna
frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ll help you
get three dates with Ian. If he hasn’t rocked your world by the end of the dates…You’ll give up.”

“No o
ne can fall in love in three dates!” she argued.

“Of course they can.”

“It’s happened to you?”

“No. Not yet anyway.”

“See?”

“
It’s plenty of time. Hell. Three
hours
is plenty of time.”

“
That’s practically love at first sight.”

“You don’t believe in love at first sight?”

“I thought I did.”

“What happened?”

Her cheeks were pink. “Nothing.”

I
studied her face. “That’s a lie. But my condition remains the same.”

“Fine, I agree
d.”

“Good.”

I stuck out my hand. “Shake on it.”

Her fingers closed over mine and I pretended touching her didn’t affect me at all.

Chapter Twelve

Ridley

I powered through finishing up the batch of turnovers with as little conversation as possible, dodged the boss, and then drove Brenna home.  I left her with the promise that I’d be in touch about Ian.  When I was sure she was inside, I drove around the block, parked the truck, and made my way back to my house.

It would make me late, but I had to do what I had to do.  For Brenna.

I found Ian in his usual spot on the couch, still in his sweats.

“Five thousand, eight hundr
ed and three dollars,” I stated, aware that there was a little too much force behind my words.

“Huh?”

“And eighty-five cents,” I added.

Ian blinked
dumbly.

“That is exactly how much you owe me in back rent, cash for food, and borrowed-it-for-random-shit money. At least since I started counting ten months ago.”

“You want it
now
?”

“No, you asshole. I know you haven’t got it.”

“So…You’re kicking me out?”

“Sometimes, I wish I could.” I shook my head. “But I made a few promises to your mother when she took me in. No more fights at school.
Easy. No more drinking and driving. Fine. No stupid shit, period. I do what I can. Always looking out for you? Hardest thing I’ve ever done. But don’t worry. Your ass is safe here.”

“I don’t get it.”

“We’re going to start fresh. You’re going to pay me on time from here on out. You’re going to get a real job by the end of the month. You’re going to keep it. And I’m going to forgive your financial debt.”

Ian’s eyes finally cleared. “You’re serious?”

“As serious as I’ve ever been. But I want you to do something in exchange.”

“Sure, cuz. Whatever you need.”

“You are going to go out with her.”

“Who?”

“Don’t fuck around, Ian. I’m not in the mood. You’re going to go out with Brenna.”

“I am?”

“You are. Three dates. No more, no less.”

“Three?”

“Stop repeating everything I say. Take. Her. Out,” I commanded.

“
Listen, man. You know I never mind doing you favors…”

“So what’s the problem
now?”

“
You told me she was hands-off. Like two days ago. Right here, just like this, with the same somebody’s-gonna-get-shanked expression on your face.”

“I changed my mind.”

“This doesn’t feel right,” he said.

“I’m not asking you to marry her, Ian,” I replied. “I just want you to go out with her a few times.”

“And then what?”

“I don’t know. I don’t even care. Make her believe you want her. Then make her believe she doesn’t want you back.”

“How the fuck do I do that?”

“Just do whatever dumb shit you normally do that scares off the nice one
s.”

Ian cracked one of his obnoxious grins. “I don’t do dumb shit to chase
away the nice ones. I just don’t date ’em in the first place.”

“Make an exception,” I ordered.

“Let me get this straight. You want me to buy Brenna dinner, fuck her, and set her loose?”

My heart bottomed out for a long second before my temper flared. 

“If you so much as
touch
her, I’ll kill you.” I spoke the words slowly and coldly.

“
Fuck, man. Relax. I already told you before. I’m not even interested in her.”

“She’s going to call you again.”

“Again?”

Shit.

I’d momentarily forgotten that I’d intercepted the last call.

“I took the
last call because you left your damned phone in my room,” I stated.

Ian’s eyes widened a little
, understanding clear on his face. “
You
want her.”

“
No,” I lied. “I just think you’re no good for her.”

“
So you don’t want her but you also don’t want me to have her? What are we? Ten years old? Give me a break. You totally want to bang her.”

“
Just tell me whether or not you’ll do it.”

“If it’ll get you off my ass and get me out of debt.”

“You don’t touch her, you don’t hurt…You don’t go near another girl from now until she tells you to go fuck yourself. And we’re even.”

“You want me to go, like, a whole week without getting any?”

I rolled my eyes in disgust. “When it’s done, I’ll toss in a voucher for the hotel. Grab Jennifer and take her there. She’ll probably appreciate seeing something other than the ceiling in your room?”

Ian frowned. “Who the hell is Jennifer?”

“For the love of God,” I muttered. “I have to go back to work. When Brenna calls you, invite her for dinner. Tomorrow. And make it in a public place.”

“Whatever floats your boat, dude.”

I didn’t stay any longer because I knew if I did, my cousin would wind up with a black eye and I’d wind up with a broken hand and then Brenna wouldn’t be impressed with either of us.