Dirty Little Lies (11 page)

“This is the last due to pay
before you get your week as Venus, babe,” Gabe says when we get to The Club.
“Are you ready?”

“I just wish it could be you.” I pout.

Gabe kisses my forehead. “That wouldn’t be much of an adventure,
or challenge, I might add. Seeing as you’ve already got me completely enamored
and wrapped around your little finger.”

Yeah, right. That would be the other way
around, thank you.

I know he is right, though. I need to see this adventure
through. I need to prove it to him. And I want it. Oh, how I want a week of
being worshipped. The opportunity to be a Goddess for a week, especially after
everything I’ve been through. I need this. I deserve this.

So not to overwhelm me, Gabe’s only been telling me about
the dues one at a time. Last night, the strip tease, was probably the most fun.
Even if my skills are lacking. I felt powerful up on that stage. And I loved
Gabe’s expression as he watched.

 “Tell me.” I stroke Gabe’s leg as we sit in the dressing room,
loving how touching him has become so natural in only a few days. “What is my
final quest?”

“Meeting cupid’s match and going into the bedroom,” he says
with warm eyes, despite the fact his jaw is tight and throbbing. “A
consummation, if you will.”

Regret fills me from head to toe. I don’t want to
consummate anything with anyone other than Gabe. “Are you serious?” I squeak.

Gabe hides it well, but I notice his joy at my reaction. In
my reservation about this task. I know he’s feeling the same way I am—he
doesn’t want me to be with anyone else. And I pray, by some miracle, the cupid
will select him.

“Babe, if you want the prize, you have to pay the dues.”
Gabe’s expression grows impassive. “I’m sorry, I wish there was another way.
Believe me. But I know I have to be ready to let you go; our time together
isn’t going to last forever. I’m just a stop on your journey. I may not like
it, but it’s the truth. So I don’t want you to feel one bit guilty or sad. I
knew what I was getting into.”

And there we have it.

I am just a little pet project to him. I am ready to
declare myself after all of this. But he doesn’t want that. He’s just one stop
on my journey. Well, if that’s how he feels about it, then bring it. I’m not
going to quit now.

“There’s a nice guy you can do this with, Stevie,” Gabe
says. “It’s your call. I don’t want you to feel guilty or that you owe
something to me. This is for you. Whatever you want. I’m so proud of you. It’s
like you’re a new person.”

“You know who my cupid set me
up with?” I ask, trying to focus on the task at hand. I can’t let my feelings
for Gabe ruin this for me—especially when he doesn’t seem to feel the same way.
 

 “I’m actually your cupid on
this one, babe. I didn’t trust anyone else to do it. Jonathon is his name, and
I think you’ll be very compatible. In fact, your stories are quite similar.
He’s doing this for his girlfriend. He’s never felt adequate in the bedroom, so
he’s been coming here for months trying to make things better for her. Quite
brave and admirable, really. Much like you, Stevie."

At the moment, it’s not
possible to feel any less brave or admirable. I want to run and forget the
whole thing, but Gabe is right, I have changed. And I will see this to the end.

“Are you ready to meet him?”
he asks.

“I guess.” I pout and Gabe
flinches.

From the corner of the meeting
room, a cupid brings a tall man with sandy hair toward the room. That must be
Jonathan.

We follow, and I keep my eyes
on my match-up. Something tingles in the back of my brain, and as we get
closer, recognition kicks in. I know that hair and that gait.

“Max,” I whisper, my eyes
glued to the man heading to the same place Gabe is taking me. There is no doubt
that man is my ex.

“What?” Gabe says. “Where?”

I point ahead to our
destination, and he immediately knows who I’m talking about. “Max? He told me
his name is Jonathan.”

“Yes,” I say, unable to make
sense of any of it. “Jonathan Maxwell. He always thought Jon was too common.” I
clear my throat. “He goes by Max.”

“Shit,” Gabe exhales, and I
can hear the pain in his voice. “That’s it,” he says. “Let’s call this off now.
I’m so sorry. This shouldn’t have happened. I take full responsibility. Let me
get you home, Stevie.”

“No,” I tell him. “Wait.”

So Max was coming here for me?
And soon everything starts to fall into place, becoming crystal clear. Max must
have known he wasn’t doing it for me in the bedroom, so instead of being like
most guys—instead of having an affair or taking it out on me—he put all his
pride on the line to come here, to learn how to be with me. It breaks my heart,
but also fills it back up again. I feel all those ties to him, all the things
we’ve had together—the security, comfort, love—tugging on me.

My heart aches as I look at
Gabe. Gone is his confidence and sexy-ass bravado. He looks sad, desperate,
defeated. I am so torn.

What am I going to do?

Still, I know I can’t turn
away from Max. It is like it is meant to be; we both land in the same place to
find each other again. I know ours is not what Hallmark stories are made
of—lovers going to a sex club to get their groove back for the other. But it is
my version of romance. It is real and true, and he’s done this for me. How can
I turn my back on him now?

Gabe can’t promise me a
future. He just offers today, and that isn’t enough. I want more.

“Stevie, wait,” Gabe calls out
as I walk away from him.

And toward Max.

Motherfucker. How can this be
happening now? I thought I had more time with her. I wanted to ease her into
this. Ease her into being with me. For real.

But her face, the way she’s looking at
him.
Like
he’s done this amazing thing for her or something. Normally, I’d agree, but not
now. Not with Stevie. She deserves more, more than he could ever give her.
Frankly, if he couldn’t figure out how to please her on his own he should give
it the fuck up and try again. With someone new.

“Wait, Stevie,” I call out to her. She doesn’t stop.

I wave my hand to Max’s cupid, Kimberly, signaling to her
to get him inside the room quickly. He hasn’t spotted us yet and I need a
minute with Stevie. Alone. I have to find a way to talk some sense into her. I
can’t let her slip away from me. I can’t let this happen again. Not when I’ve
just finally recovered from the last time.

I catch up to Stevie in just a few strides and pull her to
a stop. “Stevie,” my voice is soft, searching. “Just hold on for a minute.”

She looks up and me and nods.

That’s better.

“I’m sorry, Gabe,” she says. “I didn’t mean to run from
you. This has just taken me by surprise. I’m so confused.”

“I know, baby,” I stroke her arm, hoping it’s not for the
last time. “Before we go in there and resolve this thing, I need you to know
that this last week has meant the world to me.”

I can’t lay it on too thick. I don’t want to
scare her even more. Just go easy, give her options, let her know this is more
than just a fun time. But don’t reveal too much—not yet. Don’t blow it.

“Me too.” She smiles. “I know you get to do this type of
thing all the time—”

“No,” I interrupt. “No, I don’t, Stevie. I’ve told you
this. I don’t do this type of thing all the time. This has been a first for me
too, in so many ways. You are special and it’s more than what we’ve done at The
Club. It’s more than sex, Stevie.”

“What are you trying to say?” she asks, but I’m not sure
she really wants the answer.

“I guess I’m trying to say I want more. “

“More what?”

“Of you. Of everything. Please don’t let what he says in
that room change what’s happening between us. Please just think it all
through.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, what?”

“Okay, I will think it all through. I can promise you
that.”

I give her arms one more squeeze, wanting more than
anything to throw her over my shoulder and drag her back to my place.

“Well,” I say. “Let’s see what
Jonathan
has to say
for himself, shall we?”

“Gabe, what the hell is going
on?” Max asks when we get to the bedroom at The Club and he spots me.

I hate to admit it, but Max looks good all fiery. His face
is flushed and his body trembling. It’s been less than two weeks since he
walked out my door, but he looks so different.

I watch and listen. Like Gabe said, I need to think it all
through. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Gabe now. He’s motioning with his
head to the other cupid. She leaves the room. Inside is a dimmed space with
high ceilings and dark walls. There are two king size beds with flowing satin
fabric hanging from the canopy—a bench sits at the foot of each—and a large
wooden chest in the corner.

“I could ask you the same thing,
Max
,” Gabe spits as
he shuts the door. He seems ready for a fight.

Gabe and Max square off, while I take a seat on the bench.

After a long moment, Max sighs and dismisses Gabe, who
easily retreats—it’s a little sad to watch. It’s like we’ve entered into some
alternative universe. Then, Max sets his eyes on me and moves closer, placing
his hands on my shoulders—all possessive and authoritative and, quite honestly,
hot as hell.

Maybe it’s this place or my little
adventure,
but my
libido is out of control as this new alpha male makes his presence. I’m so
conflicted feeling this way—especially with what Gabe just said. And the way I
feel about him. My life has turned upside down since I met him. All good
things. Great things.

And he’s right, it’s not just the sex—though that has been
absolutely mind-blowing. It’s also our picnics and dates and room service in
bed. We’ve had the whole package.

“Let’s get this sorted out, Stevie,” Max says. “Because I’m
not letting you go again.”

My stomach betrays Gabe as it flips at Max’s words. Still,
I don’t say a word. I just sit there; I’m sure my mouth is hanging open,
because I’m so dumbfounded, I can’t move. Instead, I watch Max’s conversation
ping pong between Gabe and me.

Where was this guy for the past year?

Max, once again, turns his attention to Gabe. 

“First, I need to know exactly what you’re up to, Gabe. Why
did you bring Stevie here? You told me this club was the way for
me
to
win her back. You said it helped you with your wife.”

Wife?

Oh no. No, no, no.

Gabe is married? My heart sinks at the thought. It was one
of the first questions I asked him the night we met. And he lied to me? Was
this all just a game to him?

Don’t let what happens in there change
anything.
That’s what Gabe just said. Is this what he met? Did he
know Max was going to inform me of his marital status?

My skin flushes and I clench my teeth as my despair heats
to anger. Was Gabe’s wife one of the women on the dance floor with us the first
time at Venus? Or in the dark room? Do they get off on this?

I shoot scorching daggers at Gabe, and he shakes his head.
But I can’t talk to him about that now. I don’t want to. I can’t think about
anything with Max staring at me.

“I didn’t know Stevie was your ex, Jon—er, Max,” Gabe says,
keeping his eyes on me.

I divert my gaze, unable to look at him anymore.

“How would I know that?” Gabe continues. “I met Stevie
after
I met you … when you let her go. I had no idea she was your ex.”

My stomach turns at that truth. Because Max did leave,
knowing I had the worst possible impression. He left knowing I thought he
cheated on me. And he let me believe that—let me fall apart for days. Only to
be picked up by a married man—and a kinky one at that.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

“I didn’t let her go.” Max turns back to me as he says
this. “I’ve been fighting for her; I’m still fighting for her. What are you
doing here, Stevie? You don’t belong in a place like this.”

I laugh—hysterical cackles that become uncontrollable. This
situation couldn’t be more bizarre.

“Actually, I do,” I say when I regain my composure. “I was
a mess when you left, Max. I’ve made some changes, and this club helped me. But
this isn’t about me, and what I’m doing here, it’s about you. Why couldn’t you
tell me what you were up to? Why did you let me think you were out screwing
other women?”

“I never wanted you to think that,” he says. “I tried
calling to explain once I got into Cincinnati. You wouldn’t pick up. And once I
returned, you were MIA.”

This is so fucked up. He came to The Club to screw around
with other women to
help
our relationship? Letting me think he was
having an affair? But wasn’t he really? If he was at The Club, his actions weren’t
innocent. No one knows this better than I do.

“I was embarrassed,” he says, his eyes soft and full of
regret. “How could I tell you that I knew you hated our sex life, that you’ve
never had an orgasm with me? I had already lost you. In fact, I’m not sure I
ever had you, Stevie. But I want to. I want that more than anything.”

“You should’ve told me,” I whisper. “You made
me
feel
like a freak. Anytime I confided in you about what I wanted, you acted like I
was repulsive or something.”  

“I wanted all of that with you, but you had more experience
and I felt completely in adequate. It only got worse, and soon I couldn’t even do
the most basic thing for my girl. I felt like a failure. But this was starting
to help. That last time was better, wasn’t it?”

By like a million percent. Yet, not even close
to my last time with Gabe.

My cheeks heat—very aware of Gabe in the room with us
during this incredibly personal conversation. I steal a glance in his
direction. He looks broken, shattered.

Serves him right—the married bastard.

And the realization sets in. I was falling—actually already
fell—for Gabe. It’s been more than the exhilarating intro into the world of
kink.  The excitement and pure delight of the past week has been because of
him. Period.

Doesn’t matter now. It’s all been a lie. Nothing but dirty
little lies. 

“I can’t do this!” I yell, standing up. “I can’t talk about
my sex life with you with someone else in the room, Max.”

I take a few breaths to settle my internal tension, just
waiting to explode.

“I need to leave,” I say, hearing the immediate hiss from
Gabe.

“Don’t go, Stevie,” Gabe says. “We need to talk this out.”

“We have nothing left to discuss. You came here for your
wife.” I shake my head in disgust.

Yes, disgust is better than heartache.

“And I guess Max and I came here for each other,” I
continue. “Everything seems perfectly clear to me.”

“It’s not what it seems, Stevie.” Gabe takes a step toward
me. “Let me explain.”

“I’ve had enough explanations for one night.” I hold up my
hands to stop his advance.

“Let me take you home, Stevie.” Max slides in, taking my
arm.

“Get your hands off her,” Gabe spits.

“Stop, both of you,” I tell them, yanking my arm from Max.

I shift back and forth between them, rationalizing what’s
happened. What Gabe did is unforgiveable, there’s no getting past it. With Max,
on the other hand, my heart warms knowing what he was trying to do. His
execution was lacking, but the thought was there. He was trying to save us. And
I can’t deny I feel safe with him, especially after finding out about Gabe’s
secret. But it’s too soon to make any kind of decision.

I turn to Max and say, “I will talk to you later.”

Then as Gabe reaches for me, I stop him. “I think maybe
it’s time to go back to your wife.” I yell over my shoulder before rushing out
of a place I never want to see again.

Yet, in my haste, I hear his last words as I walk out.

“I can’t do that, Stevie.”

It means nothing to me.