Dirty Eden (18 page)

“I’m Sagittarius...well, my sign is anyway.”

Taurus reached out his massive arm and patted me on the shoulder. “That sister could give two shits less about you being born in her sign. In fact, she doesn’t care about any of this, about this war between my mum and dad, about the End of the Beginning, you, what you’re here to do. But she’ll kill you at the drop of a hat if you get anywhere near her children, no matter who you are, or what your intentions.”

“Why are you on my side? And really,” I paused, debating whether to go on, “what makes you think that in the end, if I even make it that far, that I’ll choose to bring on the End of the Beginning.”

Taurus gave me a dangerous look.

“I’ll kill you right here and now if that’s the case,” he said rising into a towering stand. “I want to be at peace, to frolic in the daisies, to drink from the waterfalls of Eden
—to deny me peace is a death sentence.” He came toward me rigidly.

“Now wait a minute...wait just a minute. I didn’t say that
was
the case, I’m only trying to figure you out, is all.” I was less frightened than I thought I should’ve been.

“Alright, I’ll try to figure this damn mirror out.”

I took Vanity’s Mirror out of my pants and carefully peered into it. I reached up and scratched the side of my face seeing how much hair growth I had acquired. I wished for a moment that I had brought the shaving kit from Ronan’s bathroom along with me.

“Hmmm, it still only shows my reflection—this is dumb. She should’ve just given me a map; you know, one with little veiny roads and symbols, or better yet, one with a big fucking red X that tells me where I’m supposed to go.”

Tsaeb stood with his arms crossed. He said nothing, but the look on his face clearly said that he completely agreed with me.

“You know, Norman,” said Taurus, “it
is
called Vanity’s Mirror for a reason. Why don’t you try not looking at
yourself
so much.”

“Huh?” I looked up at Taurus.

“Try looking behind you.”

For a second, I thought about being back in the park and reading the note. I regarded Taurus with a suspicious look and saw Sophia from the corner of my eye, standing next to Taurus and holding onto the tail of his big furry coat.

I slowly looked back into the mirror again. At first, I saw only my reflection, realizing how difficult it was to notice anything else with all the looking at myself and, frankly, admiring what I saw even with the overgrowth. But I managed to tear my eyes away and see what was behind me in the glass.

Why didn’t I notice that before!
I punched the air with my fist.

The view behind me was nothing at all like the view where I was standing. My eyes widened with disbelief and amazement.

“What do you see, Norman?” said Tsaeb stepping up. “Obviously you see something, now out with it.”

I looked away from the mirror to see behind me, to compare, to make sure.

“I see Kate,” I answered slowly, peering back into the mirror again. “She’s working behind the counter.”

“Eh?” Tsaeb’s face wrinkled with confusion.

“Ah, so you see a place you already know,” said Taurus.

“Yeah, but how am I supposed to go there, and
why
would I need to go there?”

“Which way do you usually go to get there?”

“What does that matter?” I let my arm fall to the side, the mirror still clutched in my hand. Before letting Taurus answer, I did so for him, sarcastically. “I step out of my apartment door like this.” I walked as if actually stepping out of my apartment, “and then after I leave the building, I take a right and head toward the first stop light.” I walked a little farther and then stopped. “Now what does this have to do with anything?”

“You ask too many questions. Why don’t you just keep walking?” Taurus suggested.

I began to understand, but thought it was all just ridiculous. I continued to walk, half imagining that I was really walking to Lou’s Coffee, taking lefts and rights and even going around the big curve at the end of the street near the park. I talked all the way, still making sarcastic remarks as I went, feeling idiotic for doing this at all. And then suddenly, during one of my rants I heard the familiar sound of a blender grinding ice and the sound of whip squirting and gushing from a shiny silver can. The smell of exotic coffees filled my nostrils and the crumb cake and little vanilla bean scones I always used to buy in three’s were thick in the air. But something was different about this place, from the layout of the room to the way the specials were written in colorful chalk upon the tiny blackboard, something was very different, indeed. It was dark. It seemed the room was swimming in a dense haze of gray. Anything that may have been red seemed muted, just barely bleeding through the gray that consumed it. No music was playing in the background, the kind that I always referred to as music for gays and intellects.

A skinny, wrinkled man stood in line and a tall black-haired woman stood behind him holding a purse made of a Pomeranian. The purse growled and snapped at the woman when she reached her hand inside to pull out her wallet. Kate stood in front of the register, her shoulders slouched. She reached out to take the money from the black-haired woman and her dead-looking stare never changed.

“What can we get started for you?” said Kate to the person next in line. She appeared drone-like, as if reading from a cue card; the tone of her voice listless.

I didn’t know what to think.

Another employee welcomed my company and me. The young man was tall and he wore glasses in a thin black frame.

“This is a weird place,” said Sophia as though she’d never seen a real coffee house before. “And what’s that horrid smell?”

“Coffee?” Tsaeb ridiculed.

“No, it’s something else.”

Taurus sniffed the air behind them. “She’s right,” he said, “It’s something other than coffee, alright.”

“I don’t smell anything else,” I said.

“Me neither,” agreed Tsaeb.

“It’s...,” Taurus took another deep inhale, “I think it’s...
body odor
.” He scrunched his giant nose.

Sophia cupped her hand over her face; her voice sounded muffled behind it as she complained. Tsaeb and I lifted our arms and cautiously took a clumsy covert whiff of our armpits.

“Must be one of you two,” snarled Tsaeb. “Only you can smell it—I bet it’s the imp.”

I took my place in line, ignoring the pointless conversation that I knew would just lead to another argument between them. And while I walked toward the end of the line, Sophia and Taurus found the culprit. A hideous little old lady had been standing right behind them, but Taurus was so enormous that he easily hid her completely and without realizing. A crooked cane held up her wobbling weight and she was terribly hunchbacked. She wore a dark blue granny dress with a ruffle draped around the neck and shoulders that looked like she ripped the doily right off her coffee table and sewed it onto the fabric herself.

“Norman,” said the little old lady, “is that you, Norman?”

I did a double take, absently edging my way back out of line as my eyes grew wide with disbelief.

“Well I’ll be!” she shouted in a hoarse voice. “Come here and let me see you! Let me see how much you’ve grown!”

Tsaeb looked mortified; the question on his face: ‘You know this smelly old bat?’ He pinned his nose between his finger and thumb, backing away to stand next to Sophia and her new gigantic best friend.

“Grandma
Elouise
?” I thought that surely my eyes were playing tricks on me...I hoped they were.

“Come, little Sophia,” said Taurus, and he led her to a seat in a corner of the room near an eerie flickering light that looked more gray than orange.

Tsaeb hopped up onto a stool at the bar just a foot away and rested his chin in his hand with a heavy, irritated sigh.

“Last time I saw you I was laid up in St. Vincent’s with a broken hip.”

The closer she moved toward me, the tenser I became. Finally, I was beginning to smell the same stench that the others had, and I wondered how in the Name of God I never smelled it sooner. Flies buzzed around her and she stank like something dead. I stood stiffly, holding my breath the best I could and choking back the burning moisture welling up in my eyes. She did look like my Grandma Elouise, but I never remembered her features being so hideous and scary. I had never been afraid to hug her, even though I didn’t particularly like it. Now, I would rather hug a Black Plague victim. Her sunken eyes sent shivers up the back of my neck. The way her gross, porky tongue slithered out of her mouth when she talked made my stomach churn and shudder.

I took an even bigger step backward and bumped into the shelf behind me that held all the coffee mugs and other various coffee-related products.

“How are you here?” I asked her. “Are you dead?”

The little old lady, who I refused to believe was my real grandma who was ninety-something, passed me a rather curious look. Suddenly, she started coughing. The hacking was so loud and grotesque that for a long, torturous moment nothing else could be heard over it. She made a grinding sound with her throat, hocked up a bloody wad of phlegm, and spat it on the floor. My eyes rolled behind the lids and I turned quickly, holding myself up with one hand firmly gripping the shelf. My face and hands felt clammy and I gagged violently, but managed not to vomit.

“You alright?”

I felt a hand on my shoulder from behind and I turned and jerked away. “Please stay back,” I demanded, “just stay away from me.”

“Oh, what’s wrong with my favorite grandson?” It was strange, but she seemed genuinely worried. “You don’t look so good,” she added, “Here, let me help you to a chair.”

“No, I’m fine.” I put my hand up. “Y-you...you just stay over there and I’ll be fine.”

“Are you going to order?” said Kate from behind the counter. “Though, I know what you want; the same damn thing you always get when you come to watch me—creepy fucking stalker.”

My eyes blinked once and then I turned to look at her.
Did she really just say that?

I left the little old lady and went toward the counter. “What did you say?”

“I said you’re a creepy fucking stalker that won’t leave me alone,” said Kate with a little more character than the drone-like girl she was before. “I almost quit my job because of you; always coming in here to pretend you’re like everybody else, but you could spend a buck at Mickey D’s for coffee and be just as satisfied...I bet you don’t even like coffee, do you?”

Still, I was at a loss and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Kate was always so sweet and even a bit shy. She had never given me any indication that I was a bother to her.

“My grandson doesn’t like coffee,” said the little old lady. “I know for a fact he don’t, but I happen to know what he
does
like.” Her expression was sly, like she was the keeper of all my dirtiest secrets and she was about to spill the worst one. “He
loooves
my special peach cobbler and I bet nothing in this fast place you could give him could ever match it.”

Kate ignored her.

“Going to order, or what?”

After contemplating my answer, I said, “Sure, I’ll have a medium latte.”

“Oh, so now you’re going to change up on me,” argued Kate, “so I’ll have to re-remember what you want all over again.” She grumbled some more and then added, “Fine. Whatever.”

“What’s
wrong
with you?” I said.

“She’s probably just sexually frustrated,” said the little old lady. “Ignore her and come sit with your grandma so we can catch up.”