Dirty Deeds Done Cheap (22 page)

Kim was sort of kneeling over the toilet but we could see each other’s faces in the mirror. We stared at each other as we fucked. Her head was banging on the side of the cubicle but I really didn’t care. God, this was so fucking horny. I came, and took a minute or so to calm down, and Kim was trying to move when I realised that, no, I wasn’t done. I was going to come again.

That was it. We started again. It was the most dirty and erotic thing I’ve ever done, a real knee trembler. But, fuck me, you should try it.

So, thirty minutes later, I’m trying to put on my soaking-wet T-shirt and hoping to look casual (not really succeeding, I found, as Kim collapsed into fits of giggles). We came out of the toilet, Kim first. She looked around. There was nobody. Strange, that! She gave me the all-clear and we returned to the carriage and our seats, where we’d left our coats.

As we were heading back to our seats a guy looked at me and smiled knowingly. I just grinned back! I didn’t give a damn about embarrassment – I was feeling too good!

The train was just pulling into a station and a woman got up from sitting on Kim’s coat and Kim had the nerve to say something – we’d been gone nearly thirty minutes! We sat down and Kim produced the vodka and the Coke and cups. We poured ourselves a drink and burst out laughing. Both of us were unable to believe what we’d done. What a memory!

Then Kim lifted her eyebrow and gave me a sly look. She got the playing cards out of her bag, started to shuffle them and said, ‘So, what’s the bet this time?’ We both burst out laughing and Kim dealt again while we both tried to go one better, suggesting the most outrageous bets we could think of. It was such a laugh, and I’ll never forget it.

Later that night, once we’d arrived back home, I was cuddling Kim in bed when I realised that I was having the best time with her. The adrenalin rush that I had previously only got from doing my dangerous jobs was nothing compared with the adrenalin rush I got from spending time with this woman. The most exciting thing I had ever done was that risky shag in the train loo!

I began to question the wisdom of returning to Iraq. I was really falling hard for this crazy woman and if I went back to work I might well get killed or seriously maimed. I might never have the chance to pursue this relationship to the end.

I didn’t know when the end of this relationship was going to come but I knew that I wanted more. She was more exciting and fun than getting shot at in Iraq, that was for sure. I still hadn’t really told her what I was doing for a living. She had assumed that I worked for an oil company on the oil rigs, which I had done, admittedly. I thought that she would probably be disgusted, as she was quite anti-war and against guns. I love the action, my guns and, of course, the money, but I thought I might well be falling in love with this woman. Hmm, guns or love? I would need to consider seriously whether or not to go back to Iraq. I had only about a week left and I had been planning to go up and visit my parents, but I didn’t want to leave Kim.

I eventually persuaded her to come with me to visit them. We travelled by train but there was no repeat performance of the toilet gymnastics, since we had to take her son with us. Nevertheless, we still had a really great time with my parents and even Morgan, her son, was entertained. My parents were gobsmacked because I’d actually brought a girlfriend up to visit them, and not only that but a girlfriend with children!

Kim and my mum got on really well. They have a lot in common, anyway. After spending a long weekend with them and returning to the West Country, I was even more conflicted about returning to Iraq. Would I regret it if I went? Would she find someone new? Would I feel the same way with distance?

I was down to three days until my scheduled return when I realised that I wasn’t going to go back. I was sorry that I wouldn’t see the guys again but realised that it was time to actually start to live my own life, for me. I could envision this future with Kim. I’d never imagined that with any woman before, so I was really keen to carry on.

After much soul-searching I decided that I had done my time in Iraq. Next time I might not be so lucky, and it was time for a change. I was qualified for rope access work and bodyguard work, but decided that rope access work was the way to go. I rang around and had soon found myself another position with an oil company. All this while Kim was none the wiser, which made me feel a little guilty about deceiving her, but I convinced myself that I would tell her the truth eventually – not now. I hoped to have a more secure relationship before I told her what I had actually been doing.

After I’d spent nearly eighteen months with Kim we got married. I never returned to Iraq and I can’t say that I’m sorry. I don’t regret going there in the first place, but I’m just thankful that I came back in one piece when so many of my friends didn’t. I know that I made the right choice and I eventually came clean with Kim. She was remarkably understanding about the whole thing and had heard gossip about me, anyway.

I now work in the oil industry as a rope-access technician. It’s boring as hell – the hours are long and the working conditions are not only grim but soul-destroying, but I know now that I would rather be alive to spend my free time with my new family than return to that sort of dangerous situation ever again. Besides that, I don’t think Kim will ever let me go back. Of course, I could always lie, which she tells me I do quite well, but I know that she would see straight through it.

However, as I’ve been writing this book, I have been offered work in Baghdad, so I can’t honestly say I
won’t
go back. Hmm, have to think hard – the money isn’t what it was but it’s still more than I can earn in the oil industry, and it’s far more exciting. Not sure about my chances of convincing Kim that it’s worth it. We shall see …